FACETIAE.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 149, 15 December 1870, Page 7

FACETIAE.

"Dinner for nothing" seems to be much preferred to " nothing for dinner."

"You can't do that again," said the pig when the boy cut off his tail."

A few days ago a Nevada Judge fined himself five dollars for being late.

The man who had a cloud upon his brow has since been mist.

A little boy asking a companion who Good Friday was, received the withering reply, "Yon go home and read your Robinson Crusoe."

" The counsel," said a learned Judge, " -will do well to pluck some of the feathers out of the wings of Ms imagination and stick them into the tail of his judgment." A parson once prefaced his sermon with, "My friends, let us say a few ■words before we begin." This is about equal to the man who took a short nap before he went to sleep. First Boy : " What's your hurry, Bob, at such an hour.?'.' — Second Boy: "Doctor prescribed for Aunt Nancy to walk a mile every night before going to bed, and bepause Cousin Julia is at the house she hasn't got "time to do it. So I am doing it for her." ■ The deafest deafness which has been reported is that of an old lady living across tfcß ajreet, from the Brooklyn Navy Yard. On Washington's birthday they fired a salute of twenty-one guns. The old lady was observed to start and listen as the last gun was fired, and exclaimed, (i Come in J"