FACETIÆ.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 136, 15 September 1870, Page 7

FACETIÆ.

It has been found necessary in Nevada to extend the game laws so as to prohibit shooting Chinamen. A Centau : A man who has "walked himself off his legs " on a horse that has " eaten its head off." The most bashful girl we ever knew was one who blushed when she was asked if she had not been courting sleep. The contents bill of a Yorkshire paper the other day contained a line announcing the fact . that Parliament had been discussing the "Marriage with a Diseased Wife's Sister Bill." A shopkeeper in Chatham-street, New York, has posted on his window the following notice :—": — " The public are requested not to confound this shop with that of another sioindler who has established himself on the opposite side of the way." An impudent literary amateur recently called upon an editor and asked permission to write the fine art criticisms and the theatrical critiques, as he was in want of something to do. "I am sorry to say that both departments are filled," responded the obliging editor, " but if you really want something to do you can clean the windows." The chairman of a Vigilance Committee, which had been appointed to duck an obnoxious citizen, in lowa, thus reported to his fellow-citizens: — '• We took the thief down to the river, made a hole in the ice, and proceeded to duck him ; but lie slipped through our hands, and hid under the ice, and as he has been there over eight hours, it is supposed he is drowned." Old John Berry that used to live up Lake Champlain liked to tell a hig story. One evening sitting in the village store said he once drove a horse seventy-two miles in one day on the ice, when the ice was so thin that the water spirted up through the holes cut through it by the horse's shoes. One of the bystanders remarked that seventy-two miles was a pretty good drive for one day. *' Yes," said Uncle John, " but it was a long day W> Jvm,"