Page 3 Advertisements Column 5

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 121, 2 June 1870, Page 3

Perhaps it is a stimulant to put energy into tardy passengers who are behind time. Several Buch came rushing down the wharf, swag-laden* and carrying carpet bags of dropsical aspect, and took a "leap for life" on to the paddle-box. Well, we made a start. I may here, perhaps, be allowed to describe my costume and luggage. I had, previous to starting for the diggings, determined to dress as a digger, and took for my model the costume worn by Californian diggers, which I made myself acquainted with from Beveral very old copies of the " Illustrated London News." Behold me, then, dressed in a flaming red shirt, a rough monkey jacket, moleskins, and a pair of huge boots which I imported from Melbourne. These latter came considerably above the knee, and in the shin of each was a beautifully gold-embossed representation of scenes at the diggings. I created rather a sensation amongst the passengers, I can tell you, and flatter myself I looked rather the thing. There were several diggers on board, but they did not look half so much like the genuine article as I did — I who had never seen a diggings in my life. So much for appearance. " I say, mate," said a gentlemanlydressed man, coming up to me, " a-'e you going to the Thames ?" Now, this question was, to say the rleast of it, peculiar — where else could i^Pbe going, unless I jumped overboard and struck out for the North Head, which we were passing at the time ? I hesitated. " Because, if you are (where else could I be going ?) I shall be glad to lay you on to a good thing. You've not been there before, I expect ?" This last was something between a question and an assertion, so I said — "Never." " Here," continued the stranger, " I have five hundred scrip in the Diddlem ! Downey G-old Mining Company (Eegistered) which I can sell you for a song." At this moment a man, dressed as a digger, who had been standing near, slapped me on the back, exclaiming, " Come along, mate, I want to see you partie'lar." What could Ido ? I looked at the digger's face — he was a fine-looking fellow, very — and slowly moved away. Who can say whether that particular moment was not the " tide " in my affairs, which if I had followed it up rightly, would have "led on to fortune ;"■ but it is too late now to repine. I followed the digger, whilst the gen-tlemanly-dressed man looked after us reproachfully. " Now, mate," said the digger, " you know what's what. You've seen what digging is in Californy, Hostralia, and elsewhere." He paused — I looked important. How many lies do we tell through life, I wonder, without speaking a word! " You know these places, but you don't know the Thames. That chap ia only trying to take you in : the Diddlem Downey's a ' duffer !' " " A what ?" asked I (confound this inquisitiveness ; here I was showing my ignorance.) " A swindle, no good. He'll take your money, and you'll get no show for it !" " Oh !" taid I, a light breaking in upon me. " Come down with me and have a drink," continued the digger, and I followed him down to the fore-cabin. " Now," said my new friend, after we had imbibed, " what do you say to a quiet game of cards to pass the time away ?" We played cards. I lost £10 before we reached the G-rahamstown wharf. " G-ood night, mate," said my friend the digger when we landed on the wharf; " I'll see you again." Some one tapped me on the back ; it was he of the gentlemanly dress. " You'd better have bought my Diddlems," and he walked rapidly away. A policeman was coming. Now I am on the Thames, and I intend to give free scope to my inquisitiveness — taking care, however, not to poke my nose into any matters of a private nature, but to confine my investigations to affairs of a purely public interest.

At a marriage ceremony in Wickford, Rhode Island, lately, the groom became impatient during the extended prayer, and interrupted the clergyman with, " Elder, ain'c that 'beout enough ?" The late Mr Justice Hayes, as is well known, was a wit. On the trial of a cause of " Woodcock v. Bird," before the late Lord Chief Justice Jervis, at Warwick, the Chief Justic having remarked that it was a pity that two " Birds" should not live in harmony, Hayes replied, " Yes, it is, my lord ; but my client complains of the length of the plaintiifs bill." Holknvay's Pills. — Indigestion, which is considered by physicians one of the most difficult of all diseases to deal with, invariably succumbs to this supreme regulator of the internal organs. The effect of the Pills upon the membrane which lines the alimentary canal, appears to be wonder- : fully soothing and healing, while at the same time they gently stimulate the stomach and the liver. This we suppose to be the modus operandi in cases of dyspepsia and diarrhoea; but, whatever the process, there can be no doubt as to the rapidity, invariability, and completeness of the cure. The PUls have been admin* istered in this neighbourhood in cases of general weakness and debility, with the happiest result. They are a perfectly »af o medicine for children.