TIT FOT TAT.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 119, 19 May 1870, Page 7

TIT FOT TAT.

Invercargill boasts of two journals — a "News" and a "Times" — and nearly every week the one is saying some hard thing of the other, and vice versa. It is quite a treat in those times when there is nothing in the papers to come across paragraphs such as the following, which are good reproductions of the " Eatanswill Gazette" and "Eatanswill Independent,'' of Pickwickian fame :—: —

That usually querulous journal, the "Southland News," has for some time past been showing other signs of decaying vitality. The latest development is a peculiar fondness for retailing weak jokes and stale news. As an instance of the latter, we would just refer to its issue of the 20th April, wherein a telegram is published, duly heralded "from our own correspondent" at Hokitika, bearing date the 19th of March, 0.50 p.m. ! One month for a telegraphic message to come from Hokitika ! This is altogether too bad. It would seem as if the correspondent in question had been having a joke at the expense of our too-confiding contemporary, from his attempt to make the poor old " News behind the times. Another instance occurs in Wednesday's paper, when our ancient friend gravely informs his readers that the rich finds of gold at the Nevis turn out to be " what is termed in digger's phraseology, ' a patch ! ' " Seeing that the full particulars of the " find," and its patchy nature, were made public more than a week previously, this tendency of the paper in question seems to have become chronic, and it must have the effect of causing a sudden falling off in our friend's list of patrons. Our contemporary seems to nave a peculiar affection for the " stiffish paper" issued for some time from this office, and makes a most considerate offer to his friends in this frosty weather. As our "exchanges" must have been terribly mutilated by the application of our contemporary's scissors, we fear they wculd be rejected as being too "airy" for forming under-coverlets ; in which case, in order that his philanthrophic desire may not be thwarted, and as we have still a supply on hand, we will freely allow him to purchase at a reasonable rate, for cash, whatever quantity may be required. Moral — " Those who live in gla3s houses should never be the first to throw stones." — " Times."

Ib is quite a pleasure this cold weather to extract the latent heat frooa anything — still more to get warmth out of our usually fossiliferous contemporary. He is, to be sure, rather incoherent in certain remarks in his yesterday's issue ; but they ara, we have no doubt, intended as a retort upon a mild joke of ours about the " stiffaes3" of his paper, and its suitability to serve, as a substitute, for blankets. He talks about "stale news," because a telegram was accidentally misdated (why, his every publication ia a tissue of blunders), and twaddles about the age of this journal, as if a journal ever grew old — forgetful that a paper is like a river, of which somebody has said, v men may come and men may go, but I flow on for ever." Stale news, indeed. Why, how often have we chuckled at seeing a paragraph of our own manufacture, after going ths rounds of the press, reproduced by our contemporary, quoted from the last paper in which it appeared ? We must, however, give our irritable friend credit for candour when he says :—": — " As our exchanges must have been terribly mutilated by the application of our contemporary's scissors, we fear that they would be rejected as being too ' airy ' for forming undercoverlets ; in which case, in order that his philanthropic (sic) desire may not be thwarted, and as we have still a supply on hand, we will freely allow him to purchase at a reasonable rate, for cash, whatever quantity may be required." We really believe him to be telling the truth, and that he has got a supply of-

surplus copies on hand, and beg to express our regret that he should print so many more papers than he can find sale for— to the butchers and butter men. Decidedly, if the inclement weather continues, we shall patronise him. Moral — " If you play at bowls expect rubbers." — "News."

Our " ancient friend," the " Southland News," has been smartingunder the "stiffness" of the remarks in our last issue, and has recourse to his customary weapons — groundless assertions. For example, when we " bowl" him out in a clear case of gross carelessness, in a matter of some importance, that is simply " accidentally mis-dated," a charge to be met by an impeachment that our " every publication is a tissue of blunders." This is a statement which is as false as it is unmanly and ungenerous. He challenges us with appropriating paragraphs of his " own manufacture," after they have " gone the rounds of the press." We freely confess that for a long time past the absence of any such production in his columns has been a "prominent feature." We fear that " loss of memory" must be put down as another sign of " decaying vitality," for we assure him that his " peculiar " style is too easily traceable for us to be guilty of anything of the sort. It is no uncommon thing, however, for him to appropriate our " locals " on the day after their appearance in our columns, without exercising the common press courtesy of acknowledging the source from whence they came. But, of course, if he chooses to play " second fiddle," that is .his affair, and as our ideas are expressed for the general benefit, it affords us very great pleasure indeed when they receive any little additional publicity that the exceptional circulation of the " Southland News " may afford ! In fact, we have no intention of instituting a prosecution against him for making use of the information which we have taken all the trouble to gather. The artful manner in which he endeavours to turn the tables upon us, with reference to our "exchanges," is quite in accordance with the usual tactics of the " News," and his "twaddle" about butchers and buttermen, is quite in keeping with his usual good taste. In order, however, that our friend's seeming obtuseness may be dispelled, we may again inform him that our offer to sell him some of the "stiffish paper," referred to that which is unsoiled, and if he allows it to find its way — zoithout handling it — into the possession of those who desire to make use of it for imparting additional warmth, it may probably remain so. — " Times."

The mistakes concited people fall into are often really laughable. Our contemporary, for instance, imagines we are " smarting " under the lash of his childish censure, when in fact we are only tickled. If he could confine himself to the truth (but that, we fear, is impossible) his remarks might be worthy of serious consideration. When he accuses us of appropriating his "ideas," the charge signally fails; for a man cannot possibly be robbed of what he never possessed. With regard to the " exchanges," we took the literal meaning of his words, which were, "we have still a supply on hand." If people will say one thing when they mean another, they must put up with the consequences — when editors do so the public is apt to imagine it is time they were superannuated. May we further mildly suggest that nastiness is not wit, and that the inuendo about " unsoilod paper " is one that could only be expected to emanate from a habitaxilly dirty ].er3on — accustomed to judge others by his own standard. — " News."

We suppose we must accord that veritable " old lady," the " Southland News," the privilege of having the last word in the quarrel. In its last issue, instead of meeting our direct charge in a " manly " way, the editor stirs tap a little dust and prudently retires into his shell, where, if he takes our advice, he will remain for some time pondering over the "hard rubs " he has received during the rencontre. — " Times."