SKETCHES BY LAND AND SEA.

Tuapeka Times, Volume II, Issue 70, 12 June 1869, Page 5

SKETCHES BY LAND AND SEA.

NO, 1. — Ma^n^a Stab^ .- f I have listened with pleasure to the Anecdotes and sketches of dfman^who had travelled, even although his voyages were of n& greater importance than from Londoff Bridge to Gravespnd Pier ; yet" I- have %o% of ten found that the pleasant raconteur, when he at- , tempted atithofrship, became unspeakably iSh l^ an^ tiresome. His desire to be accurate caused him to be tedious, while the dread of not falling in raptures at the proper time led him to indulge in loogwinded and stereotyped platitudes*. The raconteur, unless he >be the Very" mammoth of the prosing tribe, carinotfall into such errors. " He cannot lug into eVery company the brass-bound tome he calls *' My Journal;" and if he attempts a minute account of trivial and entirely personal adventures, his audience soon' dwindles to 1 insignificance. What I propose todo iid r this series of Sketches" is to treat my readers as though we. were all , .seated, by a good fire on some coia, ' wintry night, when jest, song, antl tale passed from' mouth iky mouth. We shall traverse no small portion of the globe, visit many cities, and. mark- the. , customs of many men; yet our journ^ ibg shall not be by regular stages or along beaten tracks. ]?o»*& time we shalt don the seven 5 league boots- of Blunderbore, and at a skip pifss from Spitzbergen to Terra del Fuego ; while ©ur ordinary pace will think nothing of spanning the 'Atlantic in a stride. We shall carry £0 lumber of precon^ eeived notions with us, shall condemn no community because its manners <\o not fit into our little s<juare of prejudice. When the memory of a noble deed, the recollection' of some graijd: " or lovely picture from the Master Painter's hand, excites the more fervid- emotions, we shaft yield a loose rein 7 ; but the admiration of "others we shall never accept as the canon of our pleasures. In short, we are to try and see with our own eyes, and feel with our own hearts ; with which proviso, my comrades, let us boodle on our , travelling equipage and "make a .start." / not the?- human 1 race gifted with the highest ,daj?ing' and the most torturing restlessness,- it is likely enough 'no man yfoald ever venture to

tackle the miseries which surround "*-4h£_QDening of a journey. After fidgettiri^DtnHtftwis^g'ii^begd.yOu drop into a gentle sleep; ancTTfft«w what appears about three nnniites enjp.y_ment, are aroused by — knock, knock'!** rattatat, " I say, sir, you'll be jate "— knock, knock — at the dooirof your Chamber. Sulky 'and jaded you -roll out of your warm nest^ and -after tearijjg off the neck, button of your shirt, locking-up your boots in the bottom of your portmanteau, gashing your chin v 'in' an attempt to shave, make a miserable attempt to "take something before you start."' Shivering and disconsolate, . feeling all over like a civilized Esau^ you reach the point of departure at least art hour too soon. With the pleasant prospect of undergoing pH horrors, I found myself one fine spring day inside the office of Messrs. Handy sirto an^l Henderson, Glasgow, with tie iritent of taking out a passage to New York. I am used enough to roughing it, heaven knows ; but in one respect I love to travel luxuriously. One is so utterly segregated on board ship from all external means of comfort that the steerage of a passenger boat has always appeared* to me a vivid foreshadowing of the admixture of classes' which fnust prove the worst torture of Btades to the man of refilled and cultivated tastes. So I paid^my fifteen guineas, and received "a patent of gentility in the shape of a .saloon ticket in exchange. A goo : d many of my fellowpassengers were assembled in the. office — some taking out their tickets, more asking stupid questions. One poor old Irishwoman attracted my attention in particular., " Arrah, hinney," she said to the clerk as I entered, -" is it certain shure ye is that -£h£-fr<sat goes to the same Amerikey my Norah's merrid to the dacent bhoy (Tim Clancey in ? " Her doubts jsr^r© silenced j but I could see from Her puzzled face that she half susspected us all ,to be conspiring to transport her to some strange outlandish corner of the globe. A Scotchman was thefe also; striving* hard to beat down the prjee j " five, puns and five shillins is an awfu' heap o' siller ; wouldtfa ye juist tat aff the shillins as luckpenny*} " while a swearing Englishman occupied the background, his cause of' complaint being that no provision was made in the steerage dietary for a daily .allowance qfibeer. , Suppose the hour 6f departure arrived; arid suppose 'me, after surmountMg. all th& discomforts of an "early start, fairly arrived at Greenock. The steam tender lies at the whjygfi&pujjing Arid snorting with all the itnpofciktjce bf a three-decker; Her decimate crotfd^ wit^a motley, group— ij^yfefa farewell to his weeping ttfc*|jP**ho clasp his kneed and pull his m|tw as ihough to prevent hjfodefljpurll' He is going to make %9Ke ill |he far west- artd JB»Ji hiPrords ar|i|ull ofe hope, th||Pnv*£r of we lip ai|4ith|: tijemblirig >f the l>et%y TOdJbitter gorrow of a

I am a passive observer, for I have none- to lament my expedition* •poor BarUacles, whose sorrow has found ■a. fitting Vent in bottled porter. Clang, clang, claiig, goes the bell — friends are hurried ashore, and away we steam towhere the Atlantic steamer lies floating on the water like some huge dream of Norse imagination — some terrible j kraken spouting fire and smoke. Then comes the tug of war. My box— my hat-case — my umbrella — G-ood bye, darling ; good luck, old fellow— where is that portmanteau. * Smack, smack — Oh, wirra, wirra — whisht, avick shure — anil a thousand other fragmentary sentences fall on my beSvildered ear, At last, somehow or other, all are safely embarked, and the health officer having made a pretence of examining the passengers, the anchor is weighed, and at last we have made a start.