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Tuapeka Times, Volume II, Issue 67, 22 May 1869, Page 6

A Wrinkle from Rothsciiild. — The late Baron Rothschild, dining one day at his club in Paris, heard some one say, " Horrible bore ! Lent X. ten thousand francs — have not got an acknowledgement — and he's gone to Constantinople."— " Write to him," said the Baron. "TlTave done so, and it don't answerf^-he don't answer." — "Then, mon cher, write to him tlius : — ' Dear M. X., when the Turks and Turkesses leave you a little leisure time, send me the twenty thousand francs I lent you.' "—"" — " But he only owes me ten thousand.*' — " Precisely ; he will probably write and say so, and then there's your acknowledgement."

An American , Counsellor. — At a Far-Western court the case of Smith v. Jones was called up. '* Who's for the plaintiff?" inquired the judge, impatiently. " May it please the Court," said a rising member of the legal fraternity, " Pilkins is for the plaintiff ; but I left him just now over in the tavern playing a game of poker. " He's <rot a sucker there, and lie is pure to skin him, right smart, if he has only time. He's got everything all set to ring a 'cold deck,' in which case he'll deal for himself four aces and his opponent four queens ; so that your honour will perceive that he must ' rake the persimmons.' " " Dear me !" said the judge, with. a sigh, "that's too bad! It happens at a very unfortunate time ! I am very anxious ip get on with this case." A brown study followed, and at length a happy idea struck the judge. " Bill," said he, addressing the friend of the absent Pilkins, who had just spoken, "you understand poker about as well as Pilkins. Suppose you go over and play his hand!-" And Bill did it.—" All the Tear Bound."

HdUowatfs Ointment and P,iU«. — Rheumatism and Gqut.— These purifying and soothing remedies demand the earnest attention of nil persons liable to rheumatism, gout, sciatica, or other painful affections of the muscles, nerves, or joint*. The Ointment should be applied after the affected parts have been patiently fomented with warm water, when the unguent should be diligently rubbed upon the adjacent skin, unless the friction should cause pain. Holloway's Pills should simultaneously taken to reduce inflammation and to purify the blood. This treatment abates the violence, and lessons the frequency of gout, rheumatism, and all spasmodic diseases, which spring from hereditary pre-disposition, or from any accidental weakness of constitution. The Ointment checks the tasal, malady, the Pills restore the vjtal powers.

" At Rothiemurchus, then the residence of the Dowager Duchess of Bedford, Lord Brougham found a large party of English ladies, Avith whom he romped so familiarly that, to he revenged on hinij they stole the Great Seal, and hid it where neither he nor his attendants could discover it. This was rather a serious practical joke, for without the Great Seal the Government is at a standstill ; the Great Seal alone gives validity to the most iinportaut acts of the executive Government, and every grant in the Sovereign's name, bearing the impression of it, is in point of law conclusively authentic. At last he was in such real distress about it, that the ladies took compassion upon him, assured him it was in the drawingroom, and that he might find it blindfolded, one of them assisting him by playing loud on the piano when he approached it. He was blindfolded accordingly, and by the hints which the piano gave him, he, in due time, dragged the bauble from a tea-chest. This was very harmless sport ; bnt unfortunately exaggerated accounts of it were sent to a lady-in-waiting at Windsor Castle, and she exaggerating these accounts still farther in relating them to the royal circle there, they did much mischief. — " Campbell's Life of Brougham."