THE LADIES' COLUMN.

Tuapeka Times, Volume I, Issue 50, 23 January 1869, Page 5

THE LADIES' COLUMN.

(Continued from our last.) b There are two ways of losing a — pleasant companion: one is by death, b and the other by matrimony. The m caj^ot is annoying PU account of its c resemblance to suicide. " Dulcinea is ft j^g^ little brick," Mr. Tounghus- d band says; "my friends will be her T friends, she declares ; and she insists r on your coming to see her" Well, c yo^'gOj and are disgusted by any d ?retty billin 5 g cooing . while Mrg yoUjjgnusbandy 0Ujjgnusband is sure to w nftye come femaje friend on a visit g whom, she hints, " would make a s mOgt excellent wife." A confirmed w bachelor, like a skittish horse, shies at p anything resembling a petticoat. Judge, f then, whetHer the carefully-manoeuvred t te^_^te •{ defir So-and-so, »my t gCbool companion," is likely to'be n often repeated.' 'After a time, when noneymoon j^ over, you are perhapS seduced by the husband to f accompany him home to have poti uc j c> • Now, I have observed that a man never doeMnvite a friend to such a cna^ce except on cold-mutton Monday or washing-day. Mrs. Younghusband expresses her delight at seeing y OU a sombre manner; and regrets tbat v dear jo^jo^ » wa? gp inconsiderate M not to c wamuig of your coming. ± wretched dinner over, you sit down th old friend to crack a bottle, J^ d J oon begin to feel comfortable, and to recall old times, Just then getsy Jane announces: '.'Coffee's j^ady, sir, and missis "is waiting ; " f and tf summOns be disregarded a seCond fo^ows.« Missis did not feel v d gone bed; Would f mas^ r come andßeeher ? " Ofcourse .• expreSß yOut sorrow, and leave s tte Bepedjct, to a curtain n igg^re on- dissipited habits and disrepUtable acquaintances. Tpur inti- , —^ p(x?r Younghusband , grad * ually fiw away. He greets you . with ft ghastly anile, and whispers, «he should Hke you to come and see a but jy^g y/s mother, who has c come to kecb house, objects to d h-s bachelor acquaintance." When s mother-in4aw appears on the scene , ths breaking-in is rapidly completed; g md our once.lovel comrade, the jod vial? j-ojijcking companion of former . days, becomes a thDi-ough-paced Phile lgtiMi Should jour acquaintance, t however, survive the first year or two s of married life, the appearance of the s baby is sure to bre^k it off. No man, c _singie man, I mem—likes to nurse r a horrible red mass of velvety flesh; c ig very aptj indeed, to sit down on the c homunculus, or dandle it wrong side , uppermost. After an offence ol this c j^d tne doors of Benedicts house ol are remorselessly closed against you. y uch may be forgiven ; but treason nk t() tbe yoUthfulyoUthful tyrant of the house1 hold is the unpardonable sin. It is d not to be expected ibat a bachelor can to gay mucll on the sulject of waves; aud ng j t j s well known a married man had nd better bold his tongie. However, on jn the inspection, all wives seem he divisable into two meat classes: Ist, ly Avives wh 0 rule thei husbands ; 2nd, y wiyes whose husbjids rule them; a but j must confess n^er ha\Tng either k- met or neard of one >i the latter class. or Tbe former may be dtided as follows: x Thfl^e^onattoouse. ^HH^^^HLwML.|^^^B^'(^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^H3|^^^^^^^^^

c sent for; or she has a presentiment something is going to happen Araella, and she insists on the unlucky an watching by the child's bedside ThehW^¥ areß for nothing outside the nursery; g Oie ambition is to turn tmt a better ressed flock of babies than Mrs. hingumbob over the way. Her sole eading is " Buchan's Domestic Medj-> ine>» and as a natural result she octors her offspring.for. every disease tnat erudite but slightly confusing ork, — from apoplexy down to OUtgoUt "WTien the family grows up, be gets herself to " settle them in the orid;", and happy is the eligible arty who escapes her net if the large am£[y consists of marriageable daughers jf sbe have sons, she bores her tUSband's friends, relations, and conections to take them by the hand; and will never admit that her geese are no^ of a moß^ swan-like breed. In act, she is a source of terror to every man navnlg the slightest patronage in fas p Ower> The porters in all government offices know her well, and woe betide them if shp gain admission to tne gaJietuai of^their phief." Cfeperally s^e Bueceeds in her endeavours, and is eid Up to all the world as a pattern of jnaternal devotion.. So let her be, as i ong s]ie does not wish to make one of louts an editor, . v, -r, Toungee Diog^es the ioungee. (To be continued). ' '■ patteen womem. jj[ oi d bachelors from the days of St p aul to the pre Bent time have had a L „ l«w favourite type of Womanhood-low-voiced; soft^tempered, gentle,'and meek, Well, they are quite afrliberty to chose such an one. They will find thoroughly good girls of that type who Mhe lad of a tome anda loving> admirin| husband. - But there is one thin(r j ° rotest against, their setting it downasa law that all womenjjhal^ imitatetheir model. It is preposterous!' Nature has varied her workß as< much' womani lilid tt- i n- oiJheV-^hin^s. Cau the lively brijrht-tempered witty - rl witklife and vitality, cut l^d'trim herself down to the low-voiced {le gtatldard! Of course she cang ot, Mature forbids^t, and if she' tried ever s0 much she never could act the cnapacter to perfection—at the best it WQuld be but aGt ulg_and she will do to try. Never mind having St Paul thrown at her head. St. Paulwasa aood man, a great man, and an inspired man but g0 >vas King David, and he was fallible /a 8/a 8 proved by his conduct to Uriah the Hittite), and St Paul was not infallible we may be sure. Then again we must always remember-that both he and King Solomon formed their views jj^tem notions—notions that vail i n Asiatic countries to this day. * Kino. Soiomon was a polygamist. lam some very reiigi Ous people will ijft up their hands and eyes in horror at m( f but j can'thelp that. I cannot consent to reCoive anything as gospel but tbe &ospei itself^ and I find my gayj our gentle nd merciful to women i n an unusual degree^ freely forgiving the vflfigt and the worst. G-od is kinder tbaQ man> and Omnipotent Wisdom didnot get up any special type, knowi nf r that the works^of nature are as ^^^^^^^^^^Klflfl^^^| ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^|