PACETIE.

Tuapeka Times, Volume 1, Issue 43, 5 December 1868, Page 6

P A CE T I E.

0 When may we presume that a man is very hungry ? — Whea he will devour his books. . ' *,' You say tbat you know a horse from a jackass when you see them ? " asked a counsel of a, rather dull-looking • : Oh, ye-as — just -%o" drawled out the intended victim, gazing intently; at his legal tormentor,. "I knows the difference, and I'd never take yon for a horae." A little orphan boy, who wag nearly fctarved.by the stingy uncle and guardian with whom he" lived, meeting a lank graylionnd one day in. the street, was asked by liw guardian what made the dog so thin. After reflection, th,3 little fellow replied, M I guess" he lives with his uncle." Bishop Morley .was fond of a jqke. Onc°, when the footman was out of the way, he ordered the coachman to. fetch some water from the well, to which the coachman made a grumbling objection that Ma business was to drive, and not to run errands. "Well, then," said Morley, " bring out the coach and four, set the pitcher inside, and drive to the well," — h service which was several times repeated to the great amusement of the village. Made up his Mind. — A new Jersey paper tells a story of a well-known charruster, who frequently figured on juriea in New York. While on a jury, as soon as they had retired to their room to deliberate, tie would button up h.is coat and •* tbrh in " on a bench, exclaiming, "Genilemen, I'm for bringing in a verdict for plaintiff (or defendant, as he had nettled his mind), and all creation can't move me- ' Therefore, as soon as you've fA\ aqp-eed with me, waV t e me up, and weH go, in.'* Wise I*roverbs. — The harder the wood ihe higher the polish. One man cries, * 4 Theresa a well; 3 ' another quietly puts ft pump into it. Prayers and provender never hindered any man's journey. Experience sjnd wisdom are the two best fortune-sellers. The coveteous man makes » halfpenny of a farthing ; and a liberal man \iiiik*n a sixpence of it. Look npon a picti.ro and a battle at a good distance. Vain Gloiy i* a flower that never cornea to fmit. It folly were pain, we should have great crying out in every h&w. Y t apr J^kigg-glaaa will tell you whsit friends never will. " The man that s,peak« plain truth is a cleverer fellow than he i« generally taken for. The snail looks around his iio>ise, and tlu'nk* it is the whole world, Those who walk the highfray, are always throwing stones at those irtte WSlk Off the beaten track,