SCRAPS FROM OUR NOTEBOOK.

Tuapeka Times, Volume 42, Issue I, 28 November 1868, Page 5

SCRAPS FROM OUR NOTEBOOK.

ON GETTING MA3BIED. I have known men who were hanged and men who were almost drowned, who had the luck to be resuscitated at the last moment, and these described their sensations as not unpleasant. We may accept, I think, their account without venturing on experiment, but a married man's praise of marriage is never to be trusted. It is astonishing what a relief it is to our unhappiness to see another in the same scrape as ourselves. In fact, a man by marriage virtually deserts his sex, and enrols himself in the ranks of the petticoat brigade. Marry, marry, is his constant croak, too often successful with some inexperienced youth conscious of a missing shirt button. He paints the delights of " his am fireside," but ignores the prohibited latch-key and nightly lecture. He describes the delights of watching his rising offspring, but never mentions the horrors of a squalling baby, and the midnight rambles in light attire while acting the part of nurse. He talks of the superior freedom of " a house and home of your own," and forgets the abuse he receives when he crosses the sacred threshold with muddy boots. He talks of the pleasure of having an intelligent companion ready to enter into conversation at all times. He forgets how soon the most intelligent companion becomes a bore. Six months I have always found enough to suck dry the cleverest man, enough to compel him to seek a new audience, or repeat himself over aud over again, and from this I would conclude three months a liberal allowance for any woman. But when those three months are past, when the old story begins again afresh, what can the unfortunate married man do. He is in the trap, and cannot escape. Mr. Tawn must perforce bore Mrs. Yawn, and Mrs. Yawn, Mr. Yawn, to the end of the chapter. Shall I ever marry ? you ask me. Well, my shirt buttons are so shakey that I must either get a wife or a sewing machine, and I prefer the latter, as it can do its work without a tongue. So maidens of Tuapeka and widows of these isles, Augustus Muggins scatheless can laugh at all jour wiles. — "Macaulay" slightly altered.