SCRAPS FROM OUR NOTEBOOK

Tuapeka Times, Volume I, Issue 38, 31 October 1868, Page 6

SCRAPS FROM OUR NOTEBOOK

Vo. YL— PETTY ANNOYANCES.

. A reaction against the dandy flaneur of the Pelham type set in when Sartor Eesartus appeared ; . and since then Mr. Carlyle and - his followers - have preached earnestness and called life a tragedy until the repetition has become tiresome. It is to be questioned whether, after all, this .tragic view be any better than the genteel comedy of Lord Lytton, or" the startling..melodrama of the sensationalist. That once or twice in a man's life he may rise above the dead, level of ordinary, life, and act and suffer greatly, is'unquestionable ; .but he cannot always remain upon stilts, and his subsidence is only a matter of time. There are some, certainly, who never doff the buskin, and whoso every utterance is iambic verse; but from behind the footlights we can see with what paltry tinsel they are decked. The half dozen individuals who mako history for the future are but a fraction of mankind, and perhaps attract much more attention than they merit. An examination, then, of even some of the failings of the insignificant people whom Mr. Carlyle would never admit to the rank of heroes, or Lord Lytton to that of coxcombs, affords, if aii inferior, a wider field of study. But though only the prosaic, every-day body admits that his whole lifo is embittered, his gladdest moments darkened by innumerable petty annoyances, yet we suspect that, whatever other virtues heroes may possess, candour is not one of their good qualities. It would astonish, and,, we have no doubt, disgust, sentimental young ladies and poetical young gentlemen to find how amazingly their idols enjoyed their dinners, or how terribly they were afllicted by corns. Each one of us has at some time or another been rendered [ miserable by some.mere trifle, too contemptible to leave us even the consolation of complaint. A tight boot may breed a quarrel with our dearest friend ; and Cupid only knows how many rejections a disordered crinoline nas caused. - The little wisdom by which the world is governed has often been the subject of remark ; but the | little accidents which direct that little wisdom have too often been ovcrloohed. A fit of aispepsy may disturb the peace of a continent, and lead to the slaughter of a million men. Howoften have we let pass the fairest chances on account of the temporary impatience springing from some petty annoyance ? and all are not so fortunate as Miss Jean : , their Laird of Cockpen returns no second time. ' Nor have those trifles been without some noble fruit. Sir Thomas- Lucy- was annoyed at that sad scamp " Will Shakspero's kissing his keeper's dame, and to his anger we perchance owe Hamlet ; a sanctimonious squire forced the graceless Butler to attend on prayers, and the result was— Hudibras. ' But why rehearse them all ? it would be irksome to recall how the pointless verse of Shadwell irritated Drydcn to the creation, of MacFlecknoe ; what pctty^ -stings the Dunciad avenged. After all, the Chinese philosopher does not err so absurdly when ho makes the soul inhabit the stomrch. Digestion is our tyrant, and the strongest syllogisms give way before its argicmentuin ad hominem. The Apollo Belvidere seems bandy-logged after undigested macaroni, and the charms of the Medieean Venus are not able to overcome a supper of toasted cheese. I cannot sufficiently envy those wonderful gentlemen, the heroes of modern fiction, who, albeit, they may at times be forced to indulge in " howls of anguish," and other such eccentricities, are happy in the possession of shirt buttons firm as the' 'rock of ages. They are never -disturbed by the thoughts of | unblaekened boots or a rumpled collar. Their fare jumps- out of their pockets when they leave a 'bus — if indeed those demigods, condescend to such machines — and does not perversely conceal itself in remote corners, to the excitation of your own and the conductor's temper. .They. never lose the chance of letting off a joke, and never felt the pain of thinking of a witty thing one might have said. A cold in the head is to them an unknown disease, and the forgotten pockethandkerchief an unexperienced horror. It is true theyt are apt to marry other people's wives, and become the victims of a homicidal mania ; but then /ijhose things only happen once, while petty annoyances 1 beset .every .moment of our existence. What purpose these were intended to sertfe, or for what crimes the gods so hurthened men, it wei'e hard to tell. ' In' these' days, when all things are explained, ,it -is -quite refreshing to find a subject which must always prove an unfailing sou^e of * wonder, .

An Irish breach of marriage case was heard in Dublin on and the defendantpleadedthat he was mad! He got a verdict. - Sunning away from homo seems to be epidemic just now. In a late " Timas'-' alone four "agony", advertisements imploi'e truants to return to to theirheartbroken relatives.- > " A terrible accident took place at the yilla&e-of 'Satnte Anne, in Belgium, a rfew days .back. A number of, persons were 'assembled' 'in'jkii 'enclo'snre; 'in wMcbi(S|>Ar > raw shooting;:, was . going on, frhen, -guapow^er, pxplodgd, and more or less seriously injured >■ about thirty persona.