THE COUNTRY

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 232, 21 February 1885, Page 10

THE COUNTRY

Confrilutims M 'are^invited'"frem"'VonnU y disicts, hut no notice will -hejtaken of jpnymunicalions which contain. merely vague, or spiteful remarks, ovfeare not attested b« a genuine, signature a?id address. Corresponaents should write only on one side of the paper. ' * :-■■-■ '■ y ; GISBOItNEV 1 ' h ' i; "■•'■ ' :L ' On rf^^that.rDick,) jDepjdjßjej intend^ to get; marriea.' '' J^ M ! V.T^V,.'j , '«,V /• -V ?^ '..iT-.' ■-.:. •" ' When isjthe long cashier going to marry the little one.? „,:-,.,; i. j. .. ; „-',...,•, . ,' -;.••< ""taj^^be. \ ;_;.■"■'.'. _.'.•■: J. M. goes to ' Sydney, .shortly- -for hisbridel On dit that W. baa won the belle of Taniabere.. Why doesn't A. iTVLi, continue,, his;^evening rides round to Taniahere ?> i ;Is, i^.all.up with C? , . '. KAUKAPAKAPA,. .', ,'-,.. Jack and Miss •(■*-., h^ve, been, in hot water||ince that trip to _Waiwe,ra. .,,,,,; ..:; „,.. ._. , - ". - ■ Long Bill had better, not goup^the tramway so often on Friday nights.. Look out for L. OAMBEIDQ-E WEST. ; It was too bacl'al'tpgetliei;' of, S.' to cut M.'s photograph in pieces, and then send it back to him. She .should have isent' it' back whole, and then M. could have igiven it ! to the next sweetheart he gets, j '■■ ;ii ;.::.•.■.'■■-..■ ■;• • "- , ( .. i;j „ „. : . . Miss N.s latest ,beaux turns/ out , to be a .niuff . The Black Queen and Annie' are rivals — the* latter expect's;£soi - ; • «! : - '•' ■•' ;'' " This is the place. to%iake a fortune ; goods are only 300 per cent above,. tqwn., pricey, andjpeople ponder at insolvencies,,,. Qh, dear ! • EAMO.' Tbe Larrikin has returned to Kanio. Two months in town have hot by, any means improved his behaviour. . '..,,■>" Jessie seems fresh struck on the young Whau■whau butcher.' 1 Half >a loaf ' is better than no bread — eh, Jessie?- :. ' ■J-, — ■ -■• ■*• ' * * HAMILTON. Artetnus, be carefulr— bees can sting. Bob would get ;.a' fair living at carting scandal | commission. ,rs> ■ •'■' %, Qur little organist has returned, looking up to concert pitch*. . ;■, ..-■■' t *. TURAEINA. The local fiddler looks well in his new coat. What' was" G-. doing in the ladies dressing room the other night ? Miss S.'is not* looking well since the ladyiiller.fyeritM.Wellingtpno:: . -^-u-' I hear the^Masher would like to become a veterinary surgeon to purtroop. . . r.OEENPERSQN. ■„. ; A. declares she never flirts wfth C. at the -station;.'/' ■•:■-!•■'.:• if '■■■■'■'■ ■>• : •■.' ■•■• • ■■ •>' f # • It Was ratii'er .dry at the" last hop until some thought of<tnie ; b6p : beer: Hiccough ! Heighd! ' Wno were' the Christianj ifriends. that .gathered for divine seryice, and when the parson, didn't ' attend, pyoposQd. a. dance instead ? : ,:['); 2yP^M¥^9£-, : .■"%■' ■ ■ The -ex-b'ook-canvasser had .better keep his eye on the;Totara l R6se i ••..-;•. -•■•,%■ ■ . ; * pid Walter ; 'finish 'the'- Duke's table "before : Carry gave him his^cdw^e?" ' ■ : jCTbble '.said lie "wouldn't " stand unless mine • *io : sV gave : him the run' of the house,. "* ' ( When will the,. Eegatta . d^mittee meet ? Something ought to.be done with those cups. ■-■■-■ .-■•-' OTAHUHtJ. *What fetches Bill -out so often from Auck-' land ? Does tie garden require so much looking '. $ after? '•.',•• '■ .•• T. says he does.not. care. to visit Otuhuhu now since Lizzie is in Auckland. No ditches in town, old man! - ; > • Our saddler is to be c^ngi'atulated on his ap-. proaching' happiness. When is it coming off ? I)qn't forget the invitafciqn3 this time, old fellow. . ./' " " /' "EAGLA'N, : ' ■ Tnere isa great demand for brass 1 uttons for the coming ba11.;., . . t '.... . . What interest:, Dick. is,taking in A; G-; lately.! Isjfche;happy time drawing nigh ? . : , What takes' Jessie 'up the hill so often ? : Ask . the storekeeper if he knb-srs anything about it. , r A great; 1 .to-do"a bout the ladies ball. They wanfcitb-takethei credit 'of it,. bat want tbe= gents to-:hand!out'the'c'oin-. «.:::■•.;■■■••'. ■ '■ :.[-.'. in 1- ■ ..iMTAUBO. ■; ! " ■ '■ The.dusky .squaw has. left the palatial mansion, and joins 'thfe'fciuilldrivfer. '•■'■"•• Sir'Konky '-'wlarits the "billet of chief for the mess, and fail'iiijg'"tMSrh'e"wiirwash up dishes. " ; ' Wby' ; is' ; it' that :i the ; 'dedision 1 (if any) of the lifead : c'pnstable 1 ' at^PonekeJqn'the post ..and rails has 'not been made public ? ; ; „ T he Sultana "still bemoans the absence of the Padishah across £he water, whose hair has turned -whitf»,ibutnotiW.ijih ; .-year3. i, Ther<* are no agents fd^hair d'^eiJlSljthe southern shores of Taupo Mo/inaV "'" ' '■■' NewsiDaper-" : cori'e'spondent contribntors, who .prove traiiblesom i e ? tq the officials not a hundred * aniles from TauppV are being quietly expelled from the only place ofi amusement — the town hall, on the.pica that 'they catise unwelcome revelations . Press. T^o such, persons (man and wife) Have; already fallen*ivictiriis to the Draconian der . ■-•■ V

!?••:>. :,-j.,- f ..TS'-AWAMUTTT. ...... ! •" ?•• I J'Who"l)hrew'the > cake-' ; but : of 'the refreshment" Iroom ? _ ■ ' ;; ' ■'"••!'/ ■ ' "'' ' I ''ihe'jCojdneT looked lively 'at the ball' towards, tile 'morning!,' , ' ; N '" I '^How awkward of J. A', to 'empty the custard jintb the^ sugar basin.. ''. "' ' , , ' ! .li^Ke rhubarb pie .seemed to put our bandmaster jin. good hSimour again. " " : ' '. ■ How careful W. L. was about that bouquet., ;tfas it for the owner's sake? . „ _. "' | ' v ' V; 1 , wAioEON^pkAT, ' "/ "' Latest, 10ca.1. ; novelty. — Bully, Punch with; strapped, trousers. _ „,-"-,., ' The counter-jumper .-wishes to^tender his sincere, thanks to Mahogany Top at the pub. for the beautiful valentine. . , . , ... -What made Louie F. run away from the P.ostOffice in 'such a hurry last Friday ? Was she ■afraid.to.be seen posting the valentines ? What' was Pop's reason for walking round the , roadtfenstead of taking the short cut ? Did she think the ■ obliging coachman, would overtake her ?,...• WAIPTJ. Jimmy, do; you tbink Mary, wishes to spoon by proxy ? : . ■ , Our -French dancing-master is changing colour about the gills. y Lord: Aberdeen will grind his customers to powder now : that he has imported new ' mills.' Dan, it- is 1 exceedingly 'graceless' to take advantage/of 'your lady's absence. i Johnny is, a first-rate surgeon. heart is mending rapidly under his tender care. Our; miller, Rearing that his new mill not be completed in time to grind our crops, has taken to grinding his, teeth. . ';•■'. MORRINSVILLE. r Khe blacksmith is now a welder of soft hearts. Who was it that made the fastest time on Sunay morning!?! •" . , Harry looks very dejected at not being able to attend the quadrille* ■•;*■■ Did Ned go to Auckland for a change of air, or to see Miss B. ? „ : Who was the young man that stole the leg of mutton out of the sale for his dog ? C, George says that life is not worth living ; since'B. refuses to let him have the daughter, j He will get his goods elsewhere. Jacob fell into the river on his return home frbm the hut. The old yarn over again — the yoiiftig lady won't give her consent yet. WANG- AN UI. When is it coming off with Tom and the fair Agnes ? , The British Lion is training a 'maiden' crew for the forthcoming regatta. & McL. 'has been and gone and ,done it,' and is now away spending his honeymoon. iOn dit that another of the Wauganui electric sparks is about to tie the fatal knot. Jessie lias returned from her Palmerston trip, and Sam looks quite another man now. Poor little Kate says she missed Sam so much. Perhaps he will send for her one of these days. Ask Jimmy how he enjoyed his walk on Wednesday night with the fair Hebe at the Victoria. Peter was doing the gallant on Thursday night. Is he looking after her friend from the country ? Jack seems quite an altered man since getting married. Matrimony nnisr have tamed him down. Is B'ar'r training Liz^ and Maggie for the regatta?; If so, I should say they will take some rubbing out^ ONEHUNGA. Our medico has found the elixir of life, having just taken a new wife. Is Sarah expected home again since that young man has been so attentive to Mrs A. lately ? White muslin over a black velvety upon looks very .well at a ball, but there is no neecf to leave large holes so as to show it. On dit M. is going to be married at last. The old man has consented. Accept my congratulations, Mick. Billy wonders M. A. or E. can speak to those low cads. Hud he not better buy a glass' case to ' put them in ? A hint to some living in glass houses. — Miss C. should wash her own soiled linen at home, and not throw dirty water over her neighbours. The conductor of a certain W. choir should beat time if necessary with his baton, as stamping with his foot is hardly comme il faut in church; • The young lady who sent that valentine to H. should study orthography a little ; 'noly ' is not generally spelt with two Ts,' and ' puppy ' with one ' p.' .S) , ■ ■ CAMBRIDGE. Is it a match between H. C. and Miss R. ? Dinah has departed. Has the Swallow pre pared, the next ? A divided skirt, latest design, is now on view at tliejmchelors' hall. Ask Nellie B. what was in the parcel she received on St. Yulentine's Day. E. S. was piling it on at the Parliamentary Union, much to Bertie's annoyance. Nothing would induce C. H. to show what was in the parcel he received on Saturday. What caused Miss McO. to take to her heels when passing those young gents on her way to church ? W. T. was awfully riled with Sophy for marching off with Archie F. during tnao trip to the Cranstone Falls. Sydney, do not undertake anything you cannot easily perform. Boxing TJliss C.'s ears is a contract too great for you to carry out.

: '•••' :i ; ■■ - 1 ■/■'_ WMlS)A:(H.B:). g'- ""''■' "" ] ' The' 3"efsey is" going tp run 'in'flbii'ble Harness ' at last.' '" '" ; l i '■''.■> ' "■ '■ ■>! '•" -■ ■:='■• What race, was' the^ittle! parson going to ride' in 'ff "Pity ; he lo^t'liis mount 1 ! : ■"."'" .. The Lowei* Wairoa .Jboniface "must have lost another pig, as jbh'ings are much q'uietei^of late. . Torurny says itsis not the jam, tarts, but the fair c-ne that makps .' them, that attracts 'his attention. ,' '' ' ' _ ' '<"»'''' '",''' . Darling. Agnes, honoured us .with a visit, .and didn't she cut a shine at the dance ! She must have been SejZZe. Didn't the fah'i ones, crowd round the hurdle when Brother-in-law fell. He ought to practice riding before he goes in for. racing, as the horse is supposed to jump the hurdle, not the rider. DAK&AVILLS. ' , Meat is dearer since the five-pound game. Who was the young lady out riding so. late? Keep your weather-eye open, Mac. I . The mashing diaper had a. spree the other evening, and now he wishes there was a baby oftener. Willie, and the missus think, the . footpath in Victoria ? streefc should be widened. How charming she looked in that blue ' masher ' hat. , How strange that those two young ladies in "Victoriarslreet should get up so early to play .lawn-tennis. A nice spoon they .have, topj * . We arejto have a baby show shoW|jj|Hfed jj_ W. is to rbe^judge. Numerous priaj^jfgpbo be given ; but babies mustn't be more^^F^three months' okf. No less than twenty entries already, and Mrs Gr. is to be awarded first prize for the best ' all-round baby.' . »!<-.; 'j|E^ HELENSYILLE. WhajS^^es the good lady at the Helensville appear, so surly ? ' Has T. O'G-. throw n up his job because Katie has departed ? Wo more gum-sucking. ! The English Church choir has resigned, en Hoc. Oheriton will now be able to form a good choir. The venerable church warden ha 9 gone off fora holiday. Won't his loud " Amens" be missed. The Town Hall wants a coat of paint. It is frightfully dingy as compared with the Forresters' Hall. The pet poodle has this time been left behind by the lady Mayoress. The poor' cur has now a very shaggy appearance. The Free Library is a wretched looking shanty, especially since ithas been overshadowed by that fine looking hotel, The Kaipara. That little nest of young and old ladies by the brick-yard is said to be much, appreciated by certain fast-going sparks, who say it is awfully convenient. Is the parson who preaches at the English Church interested in the amount of the collection ? He was seen to ' weight ' the plate last Sunday night. That boniface who took his own brandy supply to the racecourse when another member of ' The Trade ' had the booth ' proved himself a very mean man. What a pity it is that Bishop's protege, who preaches here occasionally, was not made a bul-lock-puncher, instead of a parson. He'll never get the appointment. How the Widow S. sported her feet on Saturday afternoon. Fancy pressing a. pair of No. 6 feet into a No. 4 pair of shoes. Her friend with the bow also cut a little dash. The conversion of the man of .dough to teetotal principles is a blessing to the township. The poor wife now gets peace, and his neighbours no longer flee from his presence. When J. F. and B. W. started their barber's shop they ought to have purchased the necessary implements instead of borrowing from the poor Snip, whom they starved out. There are too many deadheads about", Joe. MANGONUIIt is amusing to sec Councillor Gr. led auout by the burly farmer and the merchant. Music has become so cheap that the village carpenter' cannot pay his apprentice with that coin. t ' The N.S.S.'C. did not think the merchant of sufficient importance to send the Clansman to the Islands. * A good story is told of ' Pa ' — He applied to be appointed E..M. for Mangonui some years ago. Good 1 Lord, deliver us. Irish Bob and Councillor S. deserve credit for upsetting that little scheme of the Chairman and ' Our Member' about the 'special grant.' Scotch Bob was sorely grieved when he returned and found the 'special grant' business in the Council would not wash. Irish Bob was too many for him. Councillor Gr. was in a diletnua last meetinghe wished to vote one way, and was compelled to vote the other. Councillor Smith was rather rough on those ' who boasted about their conscience. Tne ball of the 'season was given by om- esteemed • 8..M.,. when about thirty couples were present. Miss Adamson was considered the belle. Mr and Mrs B. are undoubtedly the most agreeable host and hostess in Mangonui. The bachelor gave a return ball in Kaurigumland. The great drawback was the absence of the kauri-gum pardon. However, Sawdust, Theodolite, and Electricity were indefatigable in their efforts to please. " Our local publisher has been absent from the district, but has now returned with a large stock of new and entertaining works by best authors— sf ' Criminal Prosecutions',' by Messrs L. and F. ; 'ASureKoad to Success ; or, The Combination of Commerce and Sanctity,' by W. and P. ; ' Matrimony ; or, A Sure Means to Accomplish an End,' by W. ; ' Talking Made Easy,' by the same author ; ' A Certain Cure for Measles,' by P. ; « The Art of Taking Physic,' by B. : • Surveying Made Easy,' by P. ; Mothers, and their

•Troubles;? Bjgi^kaJSHialSSo^nffjattJDl^e.author ; ' Absent'^albandpjlbgnthe ' Manager '.-* 'Success MadeSJasyJ oi\ '"Advances from Cotton to Silk,kby ' Ma ' ; < The" Tricks of Trade ; or,. - How to.,^uy Stock', from > a Widow.,'* by- the "bjirl^. farmer ; 'The effects.of a Vote ; or, A Sure wayV ' toSell Turnips',,' by Htl;'- of ail Election ; . ' or, How to Sell asßull, 1 by Nick. ; ,' The%eadei»" of Society;' by ,M. X Tlf ' "*' K ' ' ! ! ' f* ' l