THE COUNTRY

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 231, 14 February 1885, Page 10

THE COUNTRY

Contributions are invited from count-- y dis-' ricts, but no notice will he taken of communications which contain, merely vague, or spiteful remtzrlcs, or are not attested, by a genuine signature and address. Correspon dents should write only on one side of the paper. KAIWAKA. The girls say that Bob is the champion waltzer of Kaiwaka. How happy the Cardinal looked with his inamorata on his arm returning from the hop. T. R. looked extremely nice in ■ that black wincey, while her sister's pompadour was much admired. . KAWHIA. lioftus seems to have taken a great interest in the coming regatta. Toni looks very downhearted since the fair one has gone to Alexandra. ' What was the reason O. L. put his hat over his eyes when the young lady passed him ? MERCURY BAY.. , Alick say 3 the widow has no attraction for him now. Joe says he is the man for the widow. What will Nellie say P What took Mick and Charley to Auckland so soon ? Was it for a change of air, or to see L. ? AYONDALE. Miss Gk, of the Asylum, was very indignant because she was not made belle of the late ball. Two dresses and a crinoline for nothing. The Avondale Pigeon was much put about because her name was omitted. The G-iraffe took it very well ; she hopes for better luck next time. HIKURANGI. Our grocer is going to seek fresh fields and pastures new. He says this place is not aristocratic enough for him. G-entleman John looks six inches higher since his trip to Werawera. He says that Miss Y. was quite gone on him. Jack says it was not him that made the rise on the waggons ; he only workeel the oracle, and i Jim scooped the pool. ! MORRINSYILLE. Yes, it is quite true that S. has giren T.B. the cold shoulder. What is it all about, I wonder? Our young saddler has deserted the Phoenix, and is know at the Castle. What attraction, H. ? Who is the benedict that escorts Miss R. to the dancing class, and won't give poor Charley a show ? What were our local storekeeper and those two girle spooning for at S.s gate on Sunday morning ? Was it to escort them to church ? HENDERSON. The marsh winds do blow, and we shall get cake. Who is the married man that fell out with the Professor ?. A. and C. still keep up their flirtation at the Railway Station. The masher -would be more . popular if he dropped his patronising manner. The matrons are hoping that the new schoolmaster may be single. Alas ! alas ! vain hope. KAMO. Which of the two Johnnies is Miss W. going to haye — the grocer or the carpenter ? The Kamo King sports a buggy now. Did he make a rise on N.'a horses ? The bobtail nags had it all their own way thi3 year. Jim and his friend H. were nowhere. It was too bad of those two jokers to pretend to be the carter's friend, and then cheat him when they got the chance. Did D. smell danger when he ran under the wall so quickly last Sunday night ? Surely three young ladies could have guarded him. HAUTAPU. Is it not time that Miss K. and Mr W. made a match of it ? Miss H. and Miss M. looked, so I am told, charming at the Tamahere concert. Miss H. looks very downhearted since her return; from Alexandra. Has she left her heart behind her? , „, ■ Miss Maggie: M.'s 'get up ' of pink glaze lining* .covered with, white muslin, looked charming at ; the Tamahere, ball. „,,.-- . Who was, jthe. dressmaker that fitted the Misses Kitty arid Polly- ,9 . for their ball dresses for the Tamahere ballV ',' " '. ■ ' j , • Who, i was the gallant' young gentleman . that, Miss Louise M. was seen walking with the other nigiat, and was her friend, Miss H., waiting for her'atMr'P'.'sgate? ' . '. ' CAMBRIDGE. . Cheer np, Emily, Willie says there's, nothing, like rag-tacking. Mrs McM. ' should ' use better language to the t cow when people are going to church on the Sabbath. ': . ' ' : ' ' ; What makes' 8., the jigger player, keep away from the billiard room ? Is he frightened of a mafceh ?••""''• • • ; ■ ■• ■ ; Sad' state of affairs : Not a man in camp would take Annie to 'the races,thongh Yon-begged hard of them. ■ : '■ %fc What: was . the Slab dping at midnight last week with No. 1 ? Can'fc'ke find a man instead ;of a girl to fight, with ? . f. . Messrs Sage and Hallett have succeeded ; in getting up the long-expected picnic. Oh, boys, what a feed the young 'uns will have. No doubt the :old, ones will n.ofc be .backward iv taking home, full baskets of the' fragments.

TE AEOHA. The Te Avon a mashers are at liberty again. Young maidens, beware. What is the attraction for (3. round the corner ? Is it the pie shop, or to see May ? Next time Mrs S. and Pat are spooning in the kitchen, she had better pull down the blind. Too bad of Miss H. to get Pat to take her down to the punt, and then leave him to go with Tig. A young man was having dinner at one of the hotels the other day, when, the waiter gave him some soup with a fly in it. He was heard to remark — ' If lam a spider, I don't like flies. DARG-AVILLE. Who took the lamb and thought it was sheep ? The balcony business has. once more commenced. Give it a rest, Willie, dear ! . Curly says he can ride on a horse. More likely in a spring-cart with the tail-board down. . .The head mistress says she would sooner be a barmaid, especially when the boss is away. Wanted — Single ladies to learn horseriding. — Apply D. S. None without riding habits taken. How kind of Dave to take charge of the riders to the ocean. Don't ride so fast next tune ; very awkward for ladies witli short dresses. It is a pity our Steamship Company does not supply their passengers with better cabbage. Our local engineer has been confined to his bed by eating bad cabbage coming from Auckland. WAIPTJ. Our would-be publican has-well begun. The Peer sports a No. 2 clown, which is a proper clown on horseback. Who has lately taken charge of Mac's house ? Take it easy, C, you are only young . Norman has left us. The harp of ' Itc-Tyock is silent, and Bessie disconsolate. Look out, Mary, someone is ready to take your place. Drive the nail aright, can't you ? Poor M. is delighted to hear that the last of the Normaus is about leaving the district. M., your conduct is unbecoming ; you should have come home from the wedding with your aged aunt. The corner attraction should not be too much taken up with one person : it might spoil the trade. Lord Aberdeen warts to know how we received information of his late discovery, i.e., that A. wears ' red sto-o-ckings. 1 Our business, my lord. Those favoured few who wete invited to the ball the other evening were somewhat surprised, not to say annoyed, upon finding that they had to pay for their tea. J. S., who from childhood has led a holy, I harmless, and an undefined life (?), i 9 now promoted to the rank of preGentor. Virtue hath her reward. The feet are perfect (?) but are you quite certain of the rank, Allan ? Sanctimonious saddlers are lieut. gens., and turn-coat Methodist dominies generals, we suppose. Wanted, information of the whereabouts of D. and J. since the departure of Uieir duckey-dar-lirigs. No visible brand ; both show small moustaches, and great conceit. I The admiral of the barge got his fleet into position on Friday night last. The c(h)annonading was terrific. The Willinott Squadron also presented their broadsides (no offence, dears) and raked the rakes. This is Dunce D.'s latest — I will give you a name, its is steeped in shame, But theworld will use you well ; It is liquor-dealer, it means soul-stealer, And Major-G-eneral of Hell. Billy's Petition. Most charming Ann ! bow down thine ear, One love-forgotten sigh to hear ; Pray, let me now in speech impart The throbbings of a mangled heart; Thy killing glances, Ann, might win The arch-fiend from his ways of sin, And Cupid's darts, if by thee thrown, Might strike fire from a heart of stone. Now, in my breast (be not amazed) j Such fire was struck — was fanned. It blazed Into an all-consuming flame, That burns, and, aye ! will burn the same ; Ana, furthermore, you have no cause For lack of wealth in me to pause — Sufficient for our wants would be A clump of stately ' corrady. 5 Let none more favoured interpose, And tempt thee to turn up thy nose An such at offer, made in truth, Tho' not in balmly days of youth ; For soaring high, pray mind, is silly, So be content to ' boil thy Billy.'