THE COUNTRY

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 229, 31 January 1885, Page 10

THE COUNTRY

Contributions are invited from counv> y disricts, but no notice will be taken of communications which contain merely vague, or spiteful remarks, or are not attested by a genuine signature and address. Corrcspon. dents should write only on one side of the paper. NEW PLYMOUTH. Did Harry and Sarah go to Auckland to spend their honeymoon, or to look after Fanny ? and wasn't it too bad to send her back ? PUKEKOHE. Who lied the flay round the young ladies at the last dance ? It was too bad of the boys to watch the masher spooning. WAYERLY. Was it business or pleasure that took Strachan back to Midhirst the second lime? Who was the Wanganui boy that waited outside the meeting house for Jessie on Sunday night ? Gay dog ? MOHAKA (H. 8.). Uangiriri J. still mourns the loss of the widow. What would Miss H. say if she saw her beloved on the balcony throwing kisses across the river to Bella ? Don't do it again, Bob. TAURANG-A. Why does Fanny put on such side ? Maud looked pleased when she got encored. Was F. the starter ? Miss Ada Fleetwood's playing at the last two concerts was very much admired. WAIROA SOUTH. i The boys will be disconsolate now that their sole-remaining joy has departed. Some Wairoa people should remember the Three Black Crows, and that 'Rumour has a thousand tongues.' Liberty of conscience and sense are unknown to certain persons here. PUHOI. Ask Nathan how much he got for ploughing the land up. The long-talked-of match between Mis 3 B. and George is coming off at last. Billy felt three inches taller when that young lady called him Willie dear. MERCER. What made 0. look so white when he ran on the snag up the creek ? Did the swamp boys expect to find peaches on the top of the bullrushes on Sunday ? Our celebrated hurdle-jumper, T. P., lias run a nail in his foot, and we are all afraid he won't be able to jump. HAMILTOX. Which will live the longest — the Choral Society or the JN"ew G-lee Club ? Now the private detective ha 3 left us, there will not be quite so much scandal. T. should not have shown his temper before the ladies, even if there was a cause for it. WAIPU. The would-be new publican has arrived. The Rooshin ball came off with great success. The storekeeper thinks lie will recover his lost fortune when he will get the cheese factory started. The cobbler and his wife are off to town to learn Scotch to enable them to be admitted into the secret society. PANMURE. Too bad of Long Jack to go away without saying good-bye to the Doricker. Jack S. looked a regular masher with his riding breeches on Sunday. "Very mean of Kate to soft-soft Bob, and try to cut out Miss Mac. Miss T.s father sajs if he catches the two bicyclists hanging round his hedges, he will put the dogs on them. WANG-ANUI. The Doctor's daughter is to run in double, harne s. Which is it to be Frank— Florry, Mary, Maude, or Adelaide ? Where did Pearcc raise the belltopper he was wearing last Sunday ? Did Jimmy fall in love with any of the Maor wahines while up at Ranana ? Have the Wanganui barbers refused to shavei the telegraph operators, as they ail appear very shabby on it. Babble is the best stroke in the Union crow. We should say so, when he g'ves such a command as pull three back water bow. Lob to learn yet, old man. AWHITU. Didn't L. look immense at the dance. Annie did a big spoon with W. at the last party at the Heads. Who was it the Captain danced with so often that night ? Oh,' John, I'll tell ma-! Miss P. was a. very pretty and attentive waiteress, and the side F. P. put, on when acting as M.C. was terrific. G-. got quite a start meeting her so unexpectedly. Wasn't it spoons then ? Some people wonder who is your correspondent down here, but — It's not very easy to learn, And though they may argue and carp, The right one they'll never discern — If they do they must look Terr sharp*

HELENSVILLE. The Lady Mayoress's pet poodle is beginning to look uncommonly sleek. S Just fancy, Friday, and no fish. We shall have to do penance, and make all square by eating a double dose next week. The very tall young lady with the rather pro* minent nasal appendage is reduced to carrying on her little flirtations with most contemptibly small fry. "WFAREORA. Which of the local bodies issued a cheque that was dishonoured ? Which of the young ladies lost her improver on a recent Sunday at the soda springs? The clerk has publicly announced his intention of gettiug spliced. The cards are issued. The Road Board are going to make a road to the Abbey ; strawberries and cream at Sd per quart. TATJPO. The boss snaveller of forage has just got off with the skin of his teeth. The Tarawera dude could not clear himself of the soft impeachment., even under the protection of the Great Mogul. Sir Konky says there is too much pick and shovel drill and no kitchen-maids to mash or wood to chop across the water. He left slowly and sadly, our mutual friend The Galhout, and wended his way up the hill at a funeral pace. When will he engage m another tearing night's entertainment. HAWERA. Jim D. has lost sst since May's departure. T. looks much improved by his Auckland trip. Blue optics are at a discount since Professor B.s departure. B. has used two bottles of Youth Elixir since last Mondaj'. Tom M. comes into town as much as ever, but brings no flowers now. Bertie has got a back seat now. Broad acres are the counter attraction. The Mangawhero grenadier is clean gone on the girl near the railway station. EAEO. The Star had to wash his sable face in the harbour for want of a dish big enough to hold both himself and his conceit. The Dramatic Club has departed thi3 life, after one performance and a starring trip, wherein the monetary consideration was twelve shillings. The boys got rheumatic after that. The reserved seats were very conspicuous at the entertainment. One stout young fellow, whom I espied hanging on to a cross beam up in the roof, seemed to be highly pleased with the sweet sixpence worth of room the business manager had allotted him. No doubt he'll perch there again for the same money. KAIWAKA. Scotty has gone to to^rn in search of his lost housekeeper. E. threatens to write to T. B. 11. if he cannot otherwise procure unto himself a rib. Louie and Nellie looked quite disconsolate last Sunday night sitting on those posts by the river side waiting for the steamer which did not arriTe. What makes Minnie so generous to the pigs, giving them new peas, bread, and other vegetables ? Is it to save cooking ? Old George swears it is. KABRIHOHORI. The ball at Kaurihohori was a great success. Mr N. Mclvenzie kindly officiated as M.C., and j discharged his duties in a very creditable manner. Miss Sarah Buchanan presided at the piano. The following are the principal dresses : — Mrs Drever, black velvet; Miss B. McLeod, white silk ; Miss McKenzie, black velvet, trimmed with white : Miss McPhee, white satin ; Miss M. Phee, blue silk, trimmed with white lace; Miss Ross, pink satin, trimmed with blue ; Miss Hale, gray cashmere, trimmed with black velvet and white lace. This lady was decidedly the belle. KAMO. It is a wonder that Jim did not gel his friend John on the deputation. Some wonderful things are sure to eventuate now. Has Norman left the field to Sandy, or has he set his affections on some one in the lower town ? Programme for next concert : — ' I'll never leave my Sarah,' C. ; 'Nobody smiles on me,' Miss G\ ; ' Sweet soda water springs,' Cf. S ; 'My two Johnnies,' Miss W. ; 'The charming little dressmaker,' Mac: 'The apple cart stands in the grocer's yard,' H. 0. ; 'Bella by my aide,' Jim R. ; 'I love the hisses,' Frank E. WAIMATJKU. One never sees dear Henry without that inevitable button-liolo llcwer. The villa at Clifford's wood is being prepared for the reception of the bride. Mamma contemplates giving a garden party next week, and ctrluinlj' the garden is at present lovely. Brother W. wears the blue ribbon in town with the Salvation lasses, but it is nevtr m-ci when lie comes to the White Horse. Miss 11., par excellence the bv\]o of r.he -.:■. Doric, really looked charm i.-i:. o:-j !S:.i u"duy evening as she passed through here per rail, en roututor Hclensville. There is to bo a grand harvest-hoint supper at Waimauku Hall next. week. It: is understood that Paddy Dorau's troupe will enliven the company. Never mind, Lister you really looked well on Sunday in your snow-while duck and straw man o' war cut hat. , She admires you, and we know that you disregard outside opinions.

Old Mahogany, in bis greasy belltopper, and pants out at elbows, with his unkempt hair and rarely washed face, may be seen parading the platform upon arrival of each train, looking in vain for that parcel that is always expected but never comes. CAMBRIDGE. The Pink 'Un is leaving for the Thames. Miss B. has set her bonnet at the young clerk. Charley paid a visit to Toatoaroa, and his suit was accepted! Who was Ernest waiting for at the corner of the Victoria Eoad ? Jack pays long and frequent visits to the country, and intends buying a horse. George holds his head still higher since he was elected a member of the School Committee. Why is the Slab so frightened of the Obseryer that he needs fight about it? Does he think height is might ? Never was 'the biter bitten ' more truly verified than at the ms.tch which took place on the racecourse on Thursday morning. OKEIIUNGA. Hon?'y Arthur is quite jubilant over the increase. Home papers please copy. The Soapcrs did not compete at the Auckland regatta. The gas h.-is exploded at last. Eliza looked a perfect angel on Sunday. Did she utilise the bird cage for a dress improver? Jack is a free man again, but his luck may change. Oh, then what a patte(r)n he will have. The blacksmith's ' Little Footsteps ' was a failure at the Epsom concert. Rock the cradle, Bob. When is the happy event coming off between the engineer and charming liltie Em. ? There's many a slip — The champion mouth ot'Onebunga is a youth's in Dannie shop, who evidently mistook his profession. Change it, Tommy. The bird catcher's daughter occupies a prominent position in Queen-street — captivating the youths as they pass by. What, oh, drummer ? Hurrah boys, a good time coming. Danny has found a nuggef, and don't he just look after it too. R. W. wa3 evidently unaware that t*vo can play at the one game when he sat in the lodge taking notes for the Obsebvkr, otherwise he would not have passed that card to Miss H. asking to see her home. But hcv disconsolate he seemed when she only gave him leave to sit on the fence and see her pass by (with Jimmy). Next time L. visits a ball without an invitation, he will perhaps know better than to criticise those present because his inamorata's name had been omitted from the list of those invited. The Bklle of the Ball. • Oh, who was the belle of tne O.Q.A. Ball?' Is a question I've asked a few, From K. y at once I the answer received, ' There can be no doubt ; why, the girl in blue ;' 'G . G. says A. D., and no doubt he's right, But Hamy's vote favours ID. P., While Moike with a smile, says ' Black velvet's the style,' So plumpeth at once for E. B. But the truth I will whisper without any doubt, iS T o mutter what other folks tell ; I've taken the verdicts of all the men there, And each one's young lady was belle.