THE COUNTRY

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 227, 17 January 1885, Page 10

THE COUNTRY

Contributions are invited from coua^.y disriets, but no notice will ho taken of communications which contain merely vague, or spiteful remarks, or are not attested by a genuine signature and address. Corrcspon dents should write only on one side of the paper. KAMO. That handsome young waggoner i 3 more gone than ever on that lady of the white horse. Whoa, Emma, mind the paint. PAPAKURA. Has Alick got to go to Cambridge for his bride ? Beware of Sam ! Ike has gone back to Waipu. The girls are delighted. COROMANDEL. G-eorge declares Miss B. was the belle of the racecourse. How nnladylike of Julia to set a young man on to old Charlie. OKAIHATJ. T. say 3 his friends will have the long-talked-of spec shortly. Miss N. had better stop flirting with that married man, or his wife will hear of it. ±>L T HOI. Did those two young ladies enjoy their ride to Waiwera last Sunday ? How did Gteorge like driving the whale through the bush from Upper Waiwera ? . ORMAND. Did Square square himself at the sports ? The Dore has never been the same man since he sent for Prof. Hugo. What was the flash blacksmioh doing behind the briar bush on Xinas night ? KAWHIA. Jim, what would M. say if she saw you nursing the twins . The Kawhia masher is about to tie the fatal I knot with Miss L. I Fossil has called his boat the Lark since the i green parrot flew away. KAIWAKA. For shame, Teeney, to kiss Joe before comI pany. What will K. say ? The Bummer's Refuge has been lately furnished in a superb manner, regardless of cost, and Bummers will now find a safe and eornforti able home, free of charge. 1 AKATAPT7. Mr L. has chosen the Rooster as a valet. Band of Hope shares are below par, and no prospects of rising. Nil desperandum ! The good lady that lives not a hundred miles "j from the top of Parnell, should keep her weather I eye open, in case there should be an elopement. OTAHUHTJ. 5 Miss L. Bays she is thoroughly in e(a)rnestHappy man. .• Hamy says he does not like 'Melia's flirting 1 with the Auckland brothers. *" Poor T., next time you escort Lizzie home from the lodge, beware of the ditch. Remember ?tou are not in Auckland. J £ WHANGAROA. Old Jamie's nose is a bt er indicator. It was absurd to exhibit the Missing Link, and -, not show his tail. 1 Sam and Brown, the indefatigable temperance - J Vorkere, supplied the viands for their picnic. 7 1 The food is unwholesome and filthy. Where I I are the manager's eyes not to see it ? Are they I.- covered by a psr centage ?

TAMAHEKE. What tabes the young surveyor so often to the farm between Hamilton and Cambridge ? Is he preparing to make a survey of the estate ? B. says A. need not be jealou3, a he has no intention "of trying to outturn out afc Tamahere, because his affections are centred in another. PANMTJRE. Andy has returned from the honeymoon. No [ cards. Dick is going to leave the country, and sell the Bobtail. It was too bad of Mary to steal the ring that Gi-us bought at Leydon's. HAUTAPU. The dance at Hautapu passed off very successfully. There were abont thirty or forty ladies present, and among so many it was difllcnlt to say who carried off the palm ; but Miss S. was entitled to the first place, and Miss 11. of Auckland looked charming. HELENS VILLE. The old man has still great hopes of the happy event taking place next May. A musical society is about to be started here, and in the hands of our old Auckland singer it aught to prove a success. The popular milkman of Helensville lias been to Auckland during the holidays, and has found a nice Hebe who can play the piano. ■ WAIROA. How bewitching A. looks when G. is in town. It must be the Jam Tarts that attract Tommy. Was the alphabetical young man nursing the toothache with that comforter? What has the genteel young man done with I those trousers ho shortened ? j Willie P. is still looking for the person who erected the guy in front of his door. KAEO. I Hurrah ! the Observer man is caught. The Shark was made to disgorge four bob. The ' variety : dodge was a good one, but the relict went crooked. How will that hotel bill be paid ? Champagne for the ' loikes o' them ' is like casting pearls before swine. 'Twas a bad job for our medico when so many gathered at the Gr. T. picnic—tucker ran scarce : dogs arc missing. KIRIKIRI. | C. has won the lass of Biuegmn Hill. Our host, Mr C, intends getting up races here on the 29th. D. says no one shall dare to laj hands ozi J. while he is near. The young lady at the mill looks quite forlorn since Harry's departure. W. took it worse than I thought he would. Try again, old boy, better luck next time. HASTINGS (H. 8.) How the little Jew ran when detected shipping C.'s pole. Cfeorge C. had the inside running with the girls coming from the Kaikora races. The General was nearly married this Christmas. It will probably come off next Christmas. Hastings badly wants a lunatic asylum for those fools who pulled down signs, etc, on New Tear's Eve. KAINGAUOA. I hear J. and E. are going to tie the knot. J. B. is back from his travels. The girls will be laying siege to his heart, or pocket, next. Does poor little F. miss the governess ? Esays he hurts her hand with squeezing it when shaking it. What is keeping Eliza at Turakina so long ? Is it D., or is she making preparations for her own wedding ? ONEIIUNGA. Eor a good thing ask Fred about his ride in the wheelbarrow. George says he hopes Hamy will find carrots a better paying crop than he did the tobacco. Tommy wishes the holidays were here again so that he could have another shot at Aunt Sally. G. and A. -were having a high time at Waikowai on New Year's Day ; even a greyhound can sometimes tell tales. It is C.'a sincere desire that when E. next shows a gentleman the door he should nofc wear such heavy boots. The Bantam has found a new spooning ground with Annie. Have they no consideration for poor Tom's feelings ? WANGANUr Ask Sam what sort of a day he had at Matarauto. Is Knickerbocker Jack up here on a mashing tour ? The Wanganui tinker had better mind what he is about. . What a night out Dave had up the river with that young lady. Did McL. wear that Tam-o'-Shanter to keep his head warm, or was it to catch 'em ? Why does Mr S. always carry an umbrella afc night ? Is he afraid of getting moonstruck ? Where was the Yank on Friday night that he was not out in his fast and favourite Chippawa ? Jimmy has returned from his Waverly trip, and will be able to console his numerous female friends. If Paul was one of Polly'd sligkted admirers, good mauners might have taught him to have kept it to himself.

PAKURANGA. S. says he will buy a horse now Tom. left his bank book at home. It was very unkind of D. not to call and see Miss S. when he was up here. I 3 it true there are tenders out for the supply of cream for the Pakuranga Strawberry Gardens. IT., of Howick, says the cold sauce went well with the strawberry pie for tea last Sunday. What would F. say if he saw Jim with his arm round L. on Sunday afternoon ? Who was the young man that Schnapps was shading with t^he umbrella on Sunday night ? Was Shoney aware that the Mountain Maid was watching him when he was going to the Tamaki last Sunday ? DARGAVILLS. A pity our local Knight of the Block was not a single man. Our local scribbler puts one in mind of a cat on hot bricks when dancing. W. has commenced his old game again. Gumdigging he finds requires replenishing. How kind of that committee of the Bachelors' Ball to supply the ladies with lavender water. i L. had better try and moderate her flirtations at balls, or else H. will seek new fields — so he soya. W. has found that it was no go with the little dressmaker, and has taken another lotise of Curly. WAIROA (H. 8.). The widow cannot catch 8., who wants something more substantial. Can't S. get anyone besides her brother-in-law to trot her out, or does mamma object to the I Wairoa mashers ? The little surveyor is doing a big thing, but he soon got out of sight when the man in blue put in an appearance. The Queen of Hearts gave a dance, but the elite had a little dance at the opposition pub, which was a great successJohnnie is making pretty frequent visits to tho Kiwi of late. He had better look out for some fresh dye. HAWEEA. 11., the carpenter, is going to get spliced. The fashionable W. is laying seige to Ada. Wasn't A. piling it on with Miss T. at the ball. Jacob is married. What a sell to tho Hawera girls. Willie C. should be coatent with one — two to one isn't fair. How nicely S. did Bert out of taking his darling to the ball. J. shouldn't knock down fences two blocks away whilst at a fire. M. stopped Murray's little game in going to the Maori pah with the girl. Miss D. was belle of the New Year's Ball. J. says Mabel was, bat he is the only one. Who was the vulgar young man that wouldn't slop smoking in the coach going to Normanby Bali? WFAREORA. I Ted is in great glee wich his walk over. Is it really true that Harry has disappointed Miss D. ? What next ? The settler's daughter has gone to Auckland, I and Jim cannot be consoled. If the many admirers of the Miss D.'s don't hurry up with their jDroposals the surveyors will steal a march on them. It is rumoured that the surveyor ia going to migrate to tho Waikato, where there is more ! flirting to bo done. : Mr M. is labouring under the impression that ' vocal music is the food of love, but the Miss D.'s can't receive any nutrition from it except they play the organ. TE AROHA. Rabbit-catching is the order of the day on this side of the world. Jim and Mis 3 Q. are at war again — a mere lover's quarrel which should have been forgotten and forgiven a moment afterwards. It was all 1 over our last Jam Tart Ball. It would have done you good to see George M. j of the Thames last Wednesday on the look out for that gentleman oi: the helmet. Poor George has been crossed in love by Helmet, and now that he has put the spondulex together, he in turn wants to cut out Helmet. Our ' would-be-if-I-could,' after running the New Find into something like 7 or £800 for his patent iron shoot, now finds it too expensive for two men to be kept continually playing 'My Grandfather's Clock ' on the bottom of said shoot to get the stuff to run. WAIROA SOUTH. The AVairoa Vestals are hauling down their colours. Dan, c'en the e'en'n' has een. The sins of the parents, &c. Be a man. Ask some Wairoa people the difference between a sponger and a visitor. The ' Own Correspondents' Children's Sports ' on New Year's Day were like himself — unique. It is only the elite (?) — the bon-ton (?), who stick a pipe in their mouths on every available time before company. It is said here that if a member of the Road Board wants all the money spent on his road he only needs to don a belltopper. ' The good die young.' So of the Mutual Improvement Society, which was a mistaken (M.1.5.-taken) idea because it was not miestaken.

WAIPU. The piper's calves are gone to grass. One of the Braigh belles hopes ere long to become a stewardess and reside in Kaffraria. Kitty and Dooshan were undoubtedly the crack reel-dancers at the Caledonian war dance. If those ladies from the hill wish to pass for~ gentlemen, as they evidently do, they must not be guilty of such gross breaches of etiquette onthe Queen's highway. Who were the two gallants, that after escorting, their ladies home, obtained lodgings as Sundowners at J.s, and were absent when the laird awoke in the morning ?