THE COUNTRY

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 226, 10 January 1885, Page 10

THE COUNTRY

Contributions are invited from counu y disriots, but no notice will he taken of communications which contain merely vague, or spiteful remarks, or are not attested, hy a genuine signature and address. Correspondents should write only on one side of the paper. KAUKAPAKAPA. A new rush in the district. Beer risen to three shillings a pint ; nobbier glasses sixpence. Cowcoppercopper hotel pegging out fast ; landlord expecting to make a pile. HIKURANGt. How many strings had Jenny to her bow at the races, and were they all Normans ? The Red Demon was greatly offended with the little jockey for doubting his veracity, and could not get an apology, notwithstanding Fred's inches. KIRIKIRI. Janey and Dick should choose a quieter spot to spoon than the verandah. How exceedingly happy Albert and Sissie looked on Christmas Day sitting on the roadside talking of the future. Go in and win A., old boy. UPPER WAIWERA. The Prince has procured a watch. Ask General TSTut about grandfather's clock. Aak Friday about the steel beak and the cricket season. Is it true that T. has two donnas known as Hammcrwheat and the Rose ? KAMO. Was it the cost of the lunch that frightened Jumbo and his pals from the return match on Saturday ? N. is very lonely since the little dressmaker went home for the holidays. Sandy is making the pace pretty hot at present. AWANUI. The man who smelt the pigstye would make a good sanitary inspector. Messrs C. Puckey and B. Matthews have imported a reaping machine. Of course, they never put a dash of anything into that tee-totaller's drink. AYONDALE. What is the attraction for D. L. in Avondale ? Is it Amy or Annie E. ? Miss E.O'R. looked quite a masheress in her new post-boy and peacock-blue dress. Miss T. and Roily looked daggers because those horrid young men had her maiden seat. Miss F. should not laugh so loud in the 'bus — it is not ladylike of a Saturday night. HELENSVILLE. When is the match coming off between It. and Miss M. ? Who is the girl who copies a certain young ladies dress, and looks like a bird in borrowed plumes. Who was the dark young lady, dressed in morone and black, and mounted on horseback, that caused so much attraction in the township on Friday ? TAMAHERE. How is the Tamahere poultry-dealer getting on? F. is about to run in double harness with little Red Riding Hood. Mr T. has failed to charm the belle of Hautapu with his frock coat. Little T. C. will drive four-in-hand when he gets the new mail contract. Now 8., what's he-r name, and**where's the wedding to be ? Why, Tamahere to be sure. KAIWAKA. Why doesn't R. get married ? He is a very taking young man. The Topuni contractor is now wood and water Joey at Woodbnrn. How did T. R. enjoy the dance with Joe at the late hop at the Hill ? As Messrs Green and Dry were clearing the road on Bunker's Hill, Mr Green picked up the lost fragment of the fowl merchant's nose in a very dry condition. HAUTAPU. A. M. was very fierce driving Miss E. to the festival. Good boy. Now, R. M., get your life insured, as you have got the agent on the premises. Mr P., the rabbit farmer, sent a truck ]oad down to town last week ; profit was handsome. How was it that the Mudpies were not asked to the dance on Monday night ? Because there are lines there ? When are Miss Kate of the Dovecot and Ted W. going to enter into the holy bands of matrimony, you know ? j POKENO. J. W. looked charming in the corner of the ball-room. Make haste J. ; get the bird caged before Maggie goes back to town. | Why did Maggie Me. not come to the ball ? Was it because P. or Mart did not come ? I think John and M. K. might have found a more suitable place for spooning than the ball room. The Flying Swan of Auckland was gone on I Miss M.c-Intire-lj at the Pokeno anniversary. Who was that young lady that wtjs asking the young men to dance'with her the other night at the ball ?

WFAREORA. The salubrious air of this peaceful region has been somewhat disturbed by the two well-known mashers about the new settler's daughter. Ted, the lady-killer and gentleman farmer, who has a peculiar power over doves without bones, claims the bird to be his ; while Jim, the ex-leader of the parish choir, insinuates that it was with sympathy and kindness, which the third generation knoweth not. TE AKOHA. The two mean mashers at the punt had better watch next time they go foxing along the river bank. Ask Tom how he liked the row on the river on Thursday night when he had to swim back for the boat. The butcher would like to receive the carte de versite oi a young lady about twenty-five with a view to marriage. TITIRANG-I. When is Bill going to bring the bride home ? Who is going to give the first spree — Joe or Harry ? or is it going to be a double affair ? Too bad of Peter to waltz with that young lady until she was giddy, and then let her fall ! Is Chap going to make a match of it with the young lady from town ? He's awfully spooney, and won't let anyone dance. The Muddy Creek mashers should invest in a a ball-room guide, and get those springs taken out of their legs before they ask ladies to dance with them. WANG-ANUr Jimmy will have to lower his colours after the beating his crew got on Wednesday night. Did Welsh have his spurs on when casting aheeps' eyes at the fair sex on the river bank ? The Salvation Army have adopted Mother Kilty's plan — marching three times round the fountain. Who were those ungrateful little creatures that peppered the pillow and bedclothes of the newly-married couple ? Did Alec drop any young lady into the river this last Boxing Day ? If not, it could not have been his fault. KAEO. The snuff-coloured gent is on the war-path. There'll be lively times on the 14th Jd'eb. Miss J. is doing a good biz. in valentines. The strength of that fruit upset the horse and cart, The skipper's equilibrium was a little off. At the open-air meeting on Sunday the following dresses were worn : — Miss J., cardinal skirt, cream polonaise, white sailor hat ; Miss N., cream sateen, pale blue ribbons, white Victoria hat ; Mrs H., navy blue, trimmed with navy blue silk, brown Henri 11. hat ; Miss W., black and white silk skirt, black velvet jacket ; Miss G-., white figured sateen, black sash, sailor hat ; Mrs M., merino, trimmed with blue, white Victoria hat; Mrs 8., dark blue dress, trimmed with black velvet ; Miss W., white figured muslin, pale blue ribbons, white Victoria hat ; Miss H., grey lustre, trimmed with black ribbons, brown post-boy hat ; Miss C, black lustre, white hat. WAIROA SOUTH. Miss T. has an idea to gather in the winter of life, the fruits of spring. Why does Harry blush when one speaks to | him of his intended ? Surely he's not ashamed of her ? Here's a Christian gentleman's notion of Christian amity — Buying and selling with one ; another. Because a girl can thump on a piano is she necessarily qualified for a good wife and comparison ? A young lady here says the reason why Obsebveb correspondents do not publish their names is because they are ashamed to do so. Some people have (c)rude ideas. The Church of Englanders had a floral service here on Christmas .Night, in honour of Jesus' birth. Yet, next day they could go about and be just as hard on those under, just as slanderous to those equal, and just as servile to those above them, as though Jesus had never lived. Pity they did not stick as much to his teachings as they (orally) do to his divinity. NAPIER. When do the giant lawyer and the fair Miss R. mean business ? They are a long while thinking over it. The well-known medico has done it at last, and has left for a distant sphere for his honeymoon. Why don't Harry and B. follow this wise example. The Australian Blondin has been giving open« air performances during the Christmas week, and needless to say he has been well patronised. Like the Salvation Army farces, the contribution box is conspicuous. Scenes at the Salvation Army meetings — Cap. W. to first party : ' Are you living in sin"?' F. P. : ' No, I'm living at home.' Cadet A. to second party : ' Have you found the Lord ?' S. P. : ' I'm not aware that he is lost.' Cadet A. : ' Will you kindly leave the room ? S. P. : ' Yes, and I'll not come come in again.' jExit S. P. HOWICK. It was rather rough on Mick after bringing Mary to the ball to see her walk off with Joe. What were W. C.'s reasons for asking Miss W. if ever she got tired speaking to Miss S. ? How did Jim enjoy that dance with Mary on Friday night ? Does he fancy he has another chance since Jack has cleared out ? On Sunday evening we had a sacred concert in aid of the E. C. Parsonage, which was well attended. Miss Brady's singing

I was much admired. On Monday niglit a soiree was held in Wagstaff's Hall for the same purpose, and was attended by a large and fashionable assemblage. Its success was mainly due to the untiring exertions of Mr and Mrs Smith. On Saturday His Lordship Bishop Cowie gavea lecture on • India and the East,' in which hespoke at length on the customs and habits of the native race, and explained the difficulty to be overcome by our British trocaas in a lucid and an - eloquent manner. At thelwbse, the Eev. Mr W Farley ascended the platform and passed high eulogium on the residents in the township and adjoining districts. WAIPU. D .'s mind is at rest, Miss M. having consented to join the links so long severed. K. keeps a boarding-house now with his new attraction and knowledge acquired abroad. He will succeed. Why did our cook take French leave of the P.'s boat? Was it to take the charming young governess for a sail ? Put you bell topper aside, H. N., and cover your head with sackcloth and ashes : the Indivitaal will work your ruin. Look out Hugh, the heiress has determined tO to take advantage of Leap Year to burn your fingers on the hymeneal altar. Why does Mrs Mac. look so blue when she sees Miss M. surrounded by ardent admirers? Does she want her for long, J. ? That brilliant star from the far north ia creating quite a sensation among the beardless gents. Retire M., you are played out. Who is that gallant young merchant that is always followed by seven dogs of different shades ? and colours when escorting his lady-love. ONEHUNGA. What was the matter with Charley IS. on Boxing Wight ? Alice says that George M. is the nicest young man in Onehunga. Where did George get the pansies last Sunday — from Amy ? Alas ! poor Alice, so sooa forgotten ! Lilly should see in future that no one is within hearing when she tells her lady friends what her bustle is composed of. The blacksmith should remember that though better than sitting with his arm round a lady's' waist in a ball room, the garden gate in Queenstreet is not a proper place to 3poon. Nuff sed. A select dance given in the Onehunga Hall on Boxing Night was in every way a success. There were at least thirty couple present. The musicwas supplied by Mr Hultz, and Mr J. Beaver performed the duties of M.O. Dancing was kept up till four o'clock, and all seemed to have thoroughly enjoyed themselves. An Idyl Good-bye, Johnny, I must leave you, Though I vish with you to stay, How that Obseetbe man is looking, Dear, I must at once away. How he stares — he is surely thinking Spooning here is not an fait ; I would like to kiss you, darling, If he'd look look another way. Thus, in Auckland, sighed a maiden, While the 'bus was standing nigh ; Thus Miss P. with faltering accents, Bid her Johnny dear " Good-bye !"