THE LADIES

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 226, 10 January 1885, Page 8

THE LADIES

Someone asKs way -women button their clothes from left to right. While we are on this topic we should like to inquire why men button their clothes with pins and shingle nails. That would be a more interesting subject to investigate. "How does the new girl strike you?" asked a Ponsonby man of his better-half. "Well," she hasn't struck me yet," replied the wife, meekly, " but she has done almost everything else. Of course, there is no knowing what she may do in time." "So you are the new girl," said the boarders to the new waiter : " and by what name are we to call you ? " " Pearl," said the maid, with a saucy toss of her head. "Oh ! " asked the smart boarded, " are you the pearl of great price ?" " No, I'm the pearl that was cast before swine." There was a long silence, broken only by the buzz of the flies in the milk-pitcher. *. The following are the directions given, by a fashionable Paris beauty to her dressmaker: — "Next week, at Madame X.'s ball, I wish, to make a sensation. Leave my neck, arms, and shoulders completely bare. Cut down the body in the back so as to show my curve (you know what I mean). In front, nothing, of course, but lace ; for the rest I will leave it to you." The perplexed and worthy attendant replied : " Parfaitement, Madame, comptez sur nous ! " A few weeks ago a lady was examining her Sunday-school boys on the order in which the books of the Old Testament are arranged. All went right until they came to Esther. In order to encourage her scholars, the teacher said, in a kindly voice, '• Well, and who comes after Esther?" A dead pause followed. Presently a little boy put out his hand. "Well, my boy, and whom do you say?" — "Please, Miss, it's Lamb, the pleecenian. I seed him go into* the kitchen." The Crown Princess of Sweden's newlyconstructed ball dress is worthy of special description. It is a gown of salmon-pink satin, veiled in long folds of tulle from the waist. At the edge of the skirt is a thick ruche of waving " tipped " marabout feathers, and the tulle overall is bestrewn with small plumes of the some shade, placed singly. The pointed low bodice is of plain satin, and the berthe is a cordon of feathers, which also border the sleeveless arm-holes. On each point of the basque at the back a looped tab of satin rests straight on the full gathered folds. The effect is ethereal. There are artists now who devote much, if not all, their time to painting flowers on the skirts and trains of ladies' silk and satm costumes. As much as £10 or £15 is often paid for the decoration of one dress ; and floral trimming painted by hand is not infrequently charged for at the rate of ten guineas a yard. If this kind of thing goes on, ladies, instead of selling their old dresses, will have them cut up and mounted, with a view of framing them as "flower pieces." The walls of a belle's boudoir might be covered with reminiscences of her recent triumphs in the shape of groups from hand-painted skirts or particularly brilliant sections of floral trimming ! The three words commonly applied, in the English language, to the members of the female sex of the animal Man, vary widely in their significance. "Female" is opprobrious. It refers solely to sex, and is no more applicable to a woman than it is to a cat or a hen. It ought to be expunged entirely from print and conversation, except in cases and places where it is used in contradistinction to male, to express the sex of homo, which is spoken or written about. " Lady " suggests a dainty, delicate creature, possessed of much superficial propriety and pride, perhaps also of culture, but it says nothing of character. Once it was an honourable title, but now that it is commonly apjxlied to every member of the sex who can more or less follow the fashion, it has become lowered without elevating those on whom it is so freely showered. " Woman " is best. The word suggests all that is femi-nine-human, inbtead of the feminine only. It brings to mind the " perfect woman, nobly planned, to warn, to comfort, to command " of Wordsworth. It is the true title of man's partner in life, the sharer in his joys and sorrows. Yet if a man calls his wife "woman" the result is not pleasing. This is a little thing that set us thinking*. At a London police court, a winsome, welldressed girl asked help of the magistrate. She had only been married about a week, to a man she believed to be honest and true, when he was arrested for a crime and sentenced to ten years' penal labour. She wanted a separation. But the magistrate said she could not have it. In the name of humanity, should not the divorce law come in here? that young girl, in the full flush of youth, were to do the thing she should not, would there be any wonder,? Barely married, and her husband taken from her for ten years ! It would not be human charity to refuse that wife a divorce from the man who deceived her. The only argument is the so-called divine law — " Whom God has joined, let no man | put asunder." We never could see the force !of it. What has God to do with the matter ? In nine cases out of ten the man simply thinks a woman will suit him for a wife, and

tells her so. If he seems somewhere near the mark, and probably able to support her, the woman says " Yes." They can go to the Registrar and be married for a few shillings. Of course, if they like, they can make a millinery show in a church, but it isn't necessary. Now, what share does God take in the matter at all ? True, it is alleged that it is a divine passion that inspires them to marry. From our knowledge of inajuand womankind, the passion that Adqlphufpihas for Agonisa isn't of the divine kind by a long way.