BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 172, 29 December 1883, Page 14

BRIEF MENTION

; .- G-eneral Sir „ George Belcher once more amongst us: ■■:■."•• T " \W: K. Bishop was, at latest dates, in Wellington, looking lovoly. An Ellerslie correspondent complains that the bell of the new church is the most melancholy sounding thing ojgbhe.fcindhe.hasever heard. _:"__; Manama,- dear, -whatis. a masher? A masher my love, is the smallest brained animal that stands erect ©n its hind legs. , " ; Among the best amateur steeplechase riders our sphere possesses is Mr Fre4 Asppleton.' Fred is game for anything. t Teacher (gMng a lesson on political economy): *' What is capital ?" Smart Boy : " Letting your girl $ajsj& first bite out of a tart." * " it is now considered vulgar to speak of a man having- a red nose^'hut it is permissible to say that "' lie has congested facial tinting. "Wouldn't it bo appropriate, in view of _ the prevailing low-necked fashion, to call some milliners *'immbdistes," and not '.f 'modistes'?" The<people- r who. f are always advocating the legalising ofjmarriage witli.a deceased, wife's sister may Ibe said'toibe~matirimoniaUy f ßJ3terinj|fcic. Wealthy hypocrite -To poor \voman :' " Can't " .Jj^p you, my good woman ; I subscribe liberally for the and you're not a heathen, you know." IC^oV'i sdid\;Mi9s ; JprMri; "my sister never giggles. She expresses delight by a dreamy, far away, Augustan" era'of, poetry,. North-Pole passage smile." ' He f #old,.hei ; $haihe ..Was, -waiting , for .something to turn upland see hoopr- things would turn out. Something turned -up at once— her nose, and. th«n he had to turnout.- "•,' - - • ' , ■ He didn't, object, to his daughter joining a musical society, but he insisted on it that abbreviations were coarse. -"Phillip. Harmonic sounds so much fcetteiy,my dear." . ; "Well, madam, how is your husband?" "No better, doctor." " Were the leeches administered as I directed?" '"Well, only three as you .directed. I had to fry- the rest before he'd take them." "Country cousins visiting the City should inspect the immeßse and tasteful variety of summer hats, flowers, feathers, and millinery of every! description, at Mrs Butterworth's Queen-street (Opposite the Market). . A correspondent thinks Mr Ooldie, of the Domain, is a'bettcr cultivator of cabbages than of trees, judging from tho way in which the Windsor Castle trees tave been treated. Is this another specimen of arbor (c) culture? . . A elude meet3,a dudine. .She — " Why did you aiot como up to ow house las' night ? We looked faw •. yon." He— : "Yaas, could not get upthah. Had 'nother 'ngageinent. My motha's dead. Thought I ought to go up to ow houth !" The bogus corisultatiohists were deftly corralled n- Melbourne through the valuable assistance- of the PbstmfcEffer-General, who placed the whole- machinery of "his 'department at the service of the poMeei in order to detect and punish these bunko-men. A correspondent in one of the Northern districts complains that the Chairman of the local Licensing Committoe has been employed making additions to an hotel, in view of the fact that within a week or two . the Bench will be asked to grant a transfer" of the license. " What's the crowd about ?" asked a stranger, Jas he noticed a stream ! of visitors going into a fashionable residence. "It's a silver weddin'," obligingly rej plied his informant. " What's a silver wedding "WJiy, a chap's been married twenty-five times and he s a-celebratin' of it." « She (before marriage): '-'Did my parasol hurt you ?" "It would please me to be hun by a parasol of yours." After marriage : " Good heavens ! there never was a -woman under the ?'in who knew how to carry a v* varasolproperly." SJ never was a man who F knew how to walk on Sd right side of a woman. Mem:— There isn't any right side to a woman with a l>arasol. A correspondent, who has dropped fifty pounds over the bogus sweeps, writes to know if there is such a thing as luefc. We have tried almost everything except bogus swleps. For instance, we have got home at three o'clock in tho morning after promising our wife to be in early, found her fast asleep, and didn't tumble over either chair or coal-souttlc. t Now that's luck j but it s not to be depended on. We hear that the'"principal premoter of the Orient Sweep is tho notorious Theodore Brown, who jiow sails under the name of Sinclair. Another is a "Linclon" shire gentleman, who was associated with ] ■' him^jvhila the third is Max Kober, who formerly -prafetise'd as a vet. in Hobs*n-street, and who keeps his old^fiame. He was the only victim, and was fined £20 and colts'. . A correspondent complains that the Christmas, "breakfast at the Young Men's; Christian Association consisted only of bread and beef and bread and butter. . The beef wag salt and omothcrcd in mustard, ancl then there was hardly enough of tea, even a biscuit ■ or. a bit of cake on the table would have been an improvement. One of the leading lights was handing a ' plate of bread and butter about. The meal was so substantial that some of the people had to get their ; breakfast at Koine before they went tochurch. I One of Itlie' 1 picturesque scenes in Queen-street the other .flay was'an expressman chasing a white hen which had*§scaj»ed from his clutches. The fowl took shelter t&ffillipthfc vehicle, and the man, with the stealthyjliiik of a stage bandit, crept after it, and endeavo^recPib rje-capturo his prize ; but with cool contempt theTbird,, which was not to bo caught with chaff, moved a few yards further on and mocked at his efforts. • At length, however, he got the hen into Darby-street, and triumphantly seized her. The man evidently never had any experience as a forager. An Englishman, sojourning in Paris, quarrelled thSSother day with a well-known pianist of that city. 1 They exchanged cards, or thought they did; but the ; pianißt gave in mistake a ticket for his performance that evening. The Englishman availed himself of it, and this is what occurred the next day. The pair met again, and the Englishman said.— "l asked you for satisfaction, sir, and I've received it." " How so ?" " I hoard yon play and am more than satisfied." Generally it is the reverse. Theinclination to kill a musician comes after hearing him play. , A WHANGAPOITA IDTX. . Oh, listen to a little taJe — What lately here befel *V A worthy son of Auckland town, '"w* A gay and festive swell. Sail ho ! was cried, and curious eyes A female form discern, •' . Or else in joke pretend to find • ; ■ ■ One seated near the stern. "Oh,save me from such love.!'' cried G. -, '" Such constancy I dread ; I care not now that maid to see> , • ' ■ All lovo for her is fled." at -'•' ' A;Bhabby triok to chaff him thus" : 4^£Bp'fc Billy bore it well, - "--^-^And breathed a sigh of heartfelt thanks ■"■ '^ifeliiP^^'^P:4 it-bit a .sell. • 4^^^^hav;e : -received a pamphlet containing a ' ?^^^of^thei6bture on "True ..Democracy," delivered Proteßtant -Hall, Napier, on Deo. sth, with the - v ;^^Wn'g^nclprs^ment by Mr M. J. Mahon, late 65th .— ■^^ffTOm--th© I'3ji:bwals1 '3ji : bwals : of Napier to C. O. Montrose, Esq., of respect, in acknowledgment, of his 'Mm^S^vi>cffcy of Liberalism, and his unswerving attach? > SifiGeorge Grey." Wall, after all, if one is not Sl^^^oi-ia'liis own country, it ia gratifying to find $bat i fe^SafettSrfil'are 'not unappreciated in other parts of ifchej #s^^" aloteven agreeting like the above is cheering' 1

We have received from the officers of Post. Office Department, Auckland/ a neatly' lithographed card, containing a view of the Post and Telegraph Buildings,- aad Other insignia of •advancing civilization, with " Fraternal Greeting's." Seeing that all the Post Office officials are cruelly, over- worked, owing to being short-handed, we should like to see the Government sending fraternal, greetings in the form of a handsome donation to air and sundry, from Mr Biss down to the letter-carriers. We intended to give something under a million ourselves, but owing to the forgetfulness of correspondents in sending us vinstamped letters, and involving us in fines, the will must be takon for the deed. PLY TIME. What's the most worrying topic ?-*• Would it strike you with surpriseIf I said it was the flies As how Just now Form the most worrying topicMicroscopic, telescopic ? Yes, the omnipresent creeturs Constantly break down our dignity, Haunt us ever with malignity, „ . f ' My eyes! These flies Are our daily fellow- creeturs — Then at night we have the skeeters ! Flies by day ! At hush-a-bye time, Skeeters wait on tired humanity, Willing aids to coarse profanity ! I do „ (Don't yon ?) Think that it is really MgJi-time Laws were framed to put down Flytime. There is a story going the rounds about Jones, ; of Onehunga, who was the assailant in the recent shooting case, which is calculated to excite astonishment at such a man having recourse to so un-Englisk a weapon as the revolver. It seems that he nia'de himself very obnoxious to the larrikins, and in consequence became the victim of their petty persecution and annoyance. On one of these occasions a burly bully abused Jones across his own garden fence, and threatened to trepass upon his premises. Jones, with gvevt coolness warned the bully not to attempt the experiment, bnt this had about the same effect as flying a red rag in front of a mad buH. The larrikin jumped the fence, whereupon Jones coolly divested himself of his hat and coat, and sailed in, giving the ruffian a severe thrashing in little more time than it takes to write this. The larrikin found that he had caught a Tartar, and ever since his fellow blades have shown their respect for Jones by giving him a wide berth.

The sala of work and toys held in the Devonport Hall, on Friday and Saturday last, was a great success. The room was prettily decorated with ferns and flowers, and the stalls were most attractively arranged, one side of the Hall being devoted to work bothuseful and ornamental, the other, to toys, dolls, etc., suitable for Xmas gifts, which attracted considerable attention from the youngsters. Noticeable among the fancy work was a mantel-piece drape ; crewel-work on a drab ground ; a beautiful point lace collar ; a bracket of black satin by Mr Ralph Hood; a well-made leather bracket; and several pretty sinoking-caps. The young ladies were most energetic in getting up raffles, by this means disposing of many handsome articles. Selections of music were given during the evening, which helped to enliven the- scene. On Saturday evening a large quantity of vegetables, poultry, honey.and miscellaneous articles were disposed of by auction, adding thereby a considerable sum to the day's takings. Altogether the affair was a pronounced success, and the members of the ■ committee anJ their assistants are to bo congratulated upon the manner in which the whole thing was conducted, and upon the sum realized by their undertaking. The following dresses were noticeable :— Mrs Breen, cream sateen skirt, Turkish towelling polonaise; Mrs Nicholson, handsome black brocaded satin, st3'lishly made ; Miss Lusk, white ••and pink; Mrs Swinnerton, black velvet, heavily beaded, bonnet to match ; Miss Binney, Indian silk, black lace hat ; Mrs^ C. Burgess, black cashmere,; M^ss James, cream sateen, trimmed with lace, white hat. We are glad to learn that the police are carrying on a vigorous campaign against some of the moßfc notorious and abandoned of the brothels that infest the city. There is one in Wellington-street, presided over by the notorious Madame Valentine, which has lately been subjected to domiciliary visits. The lady iu^question is distinguished by a waywardness and instability of affection- that leads her to adopt one protector after another, very much in the same way that some other women become attached to pet dogs. Her latest weakness was a Frenchman named Victor Collen, formerly of Wellington. This gentleman took up his permanent residence on the premises, known as the " Stone Jug," and became the gxiide, philosopher, and friend of the 'other inmates, but haviDg received a hint from the police, he has promised to shake the dust of this city from his boots, and seek other pastures. That Madame is well able to indulge in the luxury of a protector is evident from the fact that sho receives a rental of £6 a week from " The Mermaid " of the " Hermitage," and £7 a week for the house in Eokeby -street, tenanted by "Black Julia." Not long since an old Waterloo veteran was sent to gaol for no other crime than poverty. Probably it was thought that he ought to have died long ago, if only to relieve the public mind from the suspense and anxiety of waiting for the last Waterloo veteran to disappear. - There is an irony about our boasted modern civilization which would be wonderfully amusing, if it were not saddoning and shocking: While an old soldier who helped to save thrones and empires is allowed to perish miserably in a gaol, sleek landlords live on the gains of vice, and Jezebels flaunt in silks and satins. Well, if there isnit a hell, there ought to be. ,