BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 170, 15 December 1883, Page 14

BRIEF MENTION

•;,. ; '. ■ r-^— ! ' ' ; fixity of tenure — Matrimony. ' ( V.' Cutlibeiii -was easily Cooperod. * s Mr Justice Gillies has 'returned from the South. Pacific M&il Service— Rocking the cradle' at I '42 a.m. • < Shall we ever'hear the last of that eternal bore, 3lcCormick v. tforth, and 2forth v. McCormick ? See the cast of " The Barber of Seville," comic opera, next Thursday, 20th inst., at the Theatre Royal. Herr Bandman and Miss Baudott wore passengers from the South by the Wairarapa, enroyte for San ZFraucisco. > , If that long-time boot factory in Gl-rcy -street «lon s t look out, we'll aronfae the British Jumbo. There .is blood in his eye already. Auckland badly wants a- second magistrate if ■justice is to proceed, and the business of the Coui;fcs is to " Jkeep pace with the requirements of the public. Little mite to new governess' : " Ch, Miss Syntax, if you'll only let me off my lesson, I'U ask my cousin"' Fred to come and kiss you, liko he used to kiss any last governess !" Was that astronomer on the Penguin on "Tuesday with the intention of buying the hull of the for the body of a colossal telescope, or how did 3ie obtain his excursion ticket ? Some newspapers are discussing whether or not 3nan is descended from the boar. They will have to give Tip the Adam and Eve story unless they allow that man ■was descended from the bare. '* Eimneline' (her bosom friends always call Le,r Ein. for has beon told to brace up her health with, port wine thieo times a day. She culls these periodical snifters her Em bracers. Bakers ought - always to live in the yeast part ♦•the city. They, knead always to remember— Dough Tinto others as ye .would they should dough unto you. They'Vill then be safe from blacfc alum-ny ! , j Sergeant Major "White deserves great credit for Ms efforts to suppress brothels, which are indeed " a ■curse and disgrace to the city:" That Moony business •was not a very-'V<-iflt7ii thing for the credit of the city. Affairs in Anam may be said to have beon Anam-ated lately. The -France took a lot of territory, a,nd the Anamese are only oiow wanting her to take " French leave/ Anam cannot, however, Saigon of the French yet. That Herald article on the North Shore -Licensing case is all very well so far as it goes, but how licould1 icould an ordinary lodging or boardinghouse-keeper be compelled. to keep his house open for the convenience of travellers at all hours of the day and night ? Therein lie's the difficulty. "Why does a man dress up his wife for other inon to run after, arid then have the tradesmen running nfter him ? " But some women ought to ' dress up ' themselves," says our drill-sergeant. " Anyway, a few of them want a ■'■ dressing down,' "adds the P.D. [Well, "we pass this, but. don't let it occur again.— Ed.]. The members of the White Ribbon Army of IMaitland, having been stopped from parading the streets, have taken to throwing rotten eggs at the Salvationists. The latter are very much annoyed. We are surprised at this. What is the use of people professing to be zealous for religion if they are not prepared to bear the yolk' H '" Court Life : Below Stairs "is the latest libel on tho Royal Family. One of the anecdotes about Colonel Fitzclarence, dished up by the Sydney Bulletin, lias been plagiarised from an incident which happened at a mess table in tho Waikato, at jvhich Colonel Hamilton was presiding. This is how historj' is made—with the chill oif. The City Council should institute inquiry or ■prosecution in cases where the inspector or his duputy report unfavourably of butchers or other .tradesmen. It is unfair tp publish the names of respectable tradesmen in connection with these reports, and give them no opportunity to defend themselves from what they may be •dn a position to show is a trumpery or false complaint. The very bitterest and most terrible curse a UMCahomßieddn can wish to co-religioriists is, "May God, .make you' wear a chimney-pot hat! " Mahommedans see in the brim of a " stove-pipe" hat a hindrance toits ■wearer in touching the ground with his forehead in saying his prayers, aiid consequently a bar to Paradise itself I Edwards, the ped., and his manager, are here, and intend to give cue Auckland public and atheletes a treat in the course of a few days, when arrangements are perfected. A challenge is to be issued to walk any three, men for six days, the acceptors to have the privilege of two days' spell each, and Edwards continuously ijeepiug up with the fresh hands. The champion and | lis agent lpave for-America by the next mail boat. Two ladies were conversing about one thing . and another, after the manner of women. " Mrs i ' Saurpleby has not been to see me for a long time," remarked one of the ladies. " She hasn't got time to make cnlls. She has to take care of, and be with, her lusband all the time." ""Why, is he laid up with siefc3iei33 ?" " Oh, no ; on the contrary, he is in the enjoyment of the best of healt h . If he were sick, she woulun' t lave to watch him." Antiquaries ivilb doubtless be interested in | v learing that the harp of Marie Antoinette has just been discovered in an old curiosity shop at Berlin. It is said that her valet Fleury, when he fled from Paris, toofc the harp with him as a ineinenlo.Jiut subsequently falling into poverty, was compelled to part with it. The Lam is richly inlaid with gold, and consists principally > of solid ivory. It is hoped that the name of the keeper *f the curiosity shop i 3 not Shapira. WHO ? Who visits us in summer's heat ? Who bores us often on the street ? ' . "Who frequently at home we meet ? i \ "Who sails around on pinions fleet ? > "Who takes in every free-lunch treat ? Who dines with poor and the eiite ? "Who always gorges on fresh meat ? "Who never deigns to take a seat ? V But always stands upon his teet Whenever he's inclined to oat ? " Who should it bo buL that petite Little biter, with the sweet Name, Mosquit?, Two men travelled from Waikato to Auckland. , 'On their arrival here, Jones whs asked kow he came to ) travel with such a villainous-looking sneak as Smith. , '•' It's a wonder he did not rob you. He looks like a tWe'f," said the friend. "He tried hard to do so, I admit," said Jones. i "Every night he used to search my -* tooota', and grope' afeout my bed, but with very little , snecess." " Why, where used you to put it ?" " Under lid own pillow. He nover dreamt of looking there." ,J A 1 rich man died in Brussels the other day. <, JlewaSjpf ,a Djogenes disposition,. and used to ride in '*t)ussfe.s all day'. And in passing to'the passengers their ' "cliange from the conductor, he always slipped in an A^H^tra cqin. He vised tp watch' the people count their v .-^P^geand> slip the extra coin into their pockets. One a young woman who protested that she i£ unioh. Delighted to find on honest -'''"fell^^ce^ireat.last', he made her his heiress, and as,,. &-' "le'fl&fidjij3'oon' afterwards, she is now, the surprised' JlVi'6s^^^J?ftJi'ftlf a million francs. ' ,•• "' P^l ; s T^yPo|frl|inds met/ftnd A. observed that the blue k,' 4< xibboii^ ■ , conspicuously displayed on B.'s^coot, en : (

The/ sale of/ the steamer* Triumph as she now lies at Tiri Tiri toofc place yesterday, >at Messrs ID., & A. Isaacs' store, and was a surprise to everyone. The hull • and/ machinery, with all the steuni- winches, &c, on board, only realised £2] 00, although a- tender of £8500 was sent in on Monday morning for the same thing and declined. The splendid Haslam Patent Bofrigerator, which is valued at about £1500, sold for £350: Mr W. - Aitfciu was the purchaser of both lots. The refrigerator, it is understood, was bought for the-Freezing Company. The cargo remaining on board, consisting of two large ' cases of agricultural machinery, sold for a mere nominal amount. They were insured for £500 each. ' i Ai demon for blowing young man, A muscle snowing young man, A la-de-dah, Tonic-sol-fa, Sing asiyou please young man. An accountant's clerk young man, A Hannah struck- young man, ' A fur top-coated, Slightly bloated, Aristocratic young man. ;• A fond of dancing young man, A regular prancing young man, ' A whistle and song / All day long, Happy-go-lucky young man. -» Ada Handle, writing from Rokeby-street, calls our attention to one or two inaccuracies* in last week's reported seduction case, and insinuates that the victim, was not the guileless young person she 'was believed to be. Our fair but frail correspondent • informs hs that " she. is the keeper of the house visited by the couple in question, but; indignantly denies that the girl was kept there shut up f6r two nights, or that Maggie Moran had anything 'to do with the business; as Ada herself keeps the establishment. She writes: — "The gentleman came to 'my house at one o'clock oil Monday morning, stating he wanted a bed for himself and a lady ; friend. She waited outside till he epgaged t^he room. They both went away at seven o'clock the sains morning, and I have never seen one or the other of them since. The assertion that the girl :;hdd been detained in my house is nothing less than a deliberate falsehood.". There was, a rather instructive case at Christ- j church ,the other day. A cook, who, had been discharged without warning, sued for a week's wages in lien of notice. He got the sack because his carving! — his em- I i ployer, a German, called it " carfing," was not in accordance with tho prevailing depression. He could " carf " quickly chough— a hundred and twenty" hungry men, served in,the short space of an hour, was proof sufficient of that. But he filled the plates too liberally, especially when his wustomera, like Oliver Twist, "asked for more." This was the trouble. "If," said the boss, "you carfs liko that, I vasruint in months ?" There was some grumbling about " buddings " and," darts," and a nasty disclosure about "sour" sausages in the disagreement, bi.it the real fault of the cook — and carver — was that he did ndt understand how to put five upon four. Anyhow the cook got his moiioy, and the master said he had found a better " carfer," and so both were suited. •• , * John Chinaman, by woe, John, When we were first acquent. Your looks were blarid and childlike, Your mien was innocent. .„ ' But now you're turning bcld, John, You come, but never go, The devil toke your pigtailed pow, John Chinaman, my woe. John Chinaman, my woe, Johu, You crowd a' thegither, ' * , Your leper 3 and small-pox John, Just jundie ono anither. Now you maun toddle hatne, John, Yes, you maun turn and go. And I'll assist you with my foot John Chinamen, my woe. Travelling once in a steamer, the late Archbishop Vaughan had as a fellow-passenger a weli-fcnown metalliciau. At ■dinner his Grace* was voted to the head of tho table, Laying his hand on a cover in front of him he smilingly remar/ced, " I thin/i; I know what's on this dish." " Fifty to one your grace can't name it without looking under the cover." " You bet £50 to £1 ' I cannot tell you what is oil this dish without looking under the cover." "Yes," responded, the one in whom the ruling passion was so strong. " Done," replied the prelate, and turning to an attendant he asked, " Steward, what is under /the cover ?" "Roast beef." "So you see, sir, 1 can now tell j'ou what is under this cover, and I have not yet looked under it." The " boo?de " was of course " had," and everyone laughed at his expense ; but he said he •! didn't bet in that way," and blustered a good deal, but the jo/cc was ?cepfc warm for him for many a day. '

Three of the' smart young men 'from Parnell bad rather a rough time oE, ib on Sunday last, as their day's pleasure wa3 marred by old Boreas,' in a way which they will not forget for some time. I*" appear? that they hired a yacht, fonnd all the necessary supplies, and to make all complete, invited three yonn? ladies who belong to the bar, to share their pleasure. ' AH went merrily as a marriage bell, until they arrived in Rangitoto Channel, when old Jupiter 1 Pluvius tried to do his worst to the ladies' silk dresses' and the genfclemens' hell-toppers. But having a cabin, all retired below. So the two young fellows, whom Ihey took with them, were left on'deck to work the ship, with directions to steer back again to wharf, but on arriving there, the 'weatb,er being somewhat improved, they stood away 1 for Kauri Point. ' But soon, to their horror, the*goqd sbip, ijke another {L'rinmplv^tuck fast on a reef, asd 1 af.tei; a Joj/ of the ship was abandoned, and they, made tracks for-Northcote, only to find the Jast steamer for'tke'nigiit had left, so they hn.dj;o take refuge in 'the Rob. In, the'inornms, -at daylight, one of Q.ur<explore£s ,snllied forth to &nd tho yachtsfeiU on therjeef, while,tne two'boya 'wcre;S'Q ( an,d j asle i ep^wrap']3ed j up^inifin^e^f^titie.

of ,their friends,' who were inquiring anxiously about them. • The young ladies, being of a forgiving disposition, there will be no breach of promise case thi3 time. Bufc it is to be hoped that their next picnic will be in better weather. ■ The pet drag with actresses who would always be handsome is said to be arsenic ; it has driven morphia out of bhe market. "Vyhen'nisrhtly labour has worn the artiste out, dimmed her eye and sallowed her complexion, she flies to this mineral poison fts a tonic. The effect is marvellous, and you may trust a woman to appreciate it. Her complexion, which was before sallow and yellow, becomes a clear beautiful white, and her framo, .which was spare, if not skinny, suddenly becomes plnmp and voluptuous. It is not a natural 'colour which the drug gives, but the footlights assist the effect and give to it the hue of fresh youth. Of course it, tills. Arsenic is an accumulative poison, but what women would not rather be dead than ugly ? '

One of the rising generation throws out the following suggestion, which, o;t the' score of novelty alone, is worthy of publication •— ?" Sir,— l think that the greatest injustice to boys is their fathors marrying so early. If a man didnH marry till he was forty, he; would die and leave his money to his son. just at the time the latter was entering life in earnest, and the boy would find it very useful. Instead of this, men marry early, and they live to spend their money on themselves. I have a father who is only nineteen years' older than myself. When he is seventy I shall be fifty-one. So you see it is no good my waiting for , my inheritance ; I imis): jwork for my own living. This, Sir, is one of , the great difficulties we young- men have to encounter through the inconsiderate conduct of 'Our Fathers.' — I am, Sir, yours, &c, — r — ." THE SONG- OF THE " SALVATIONIST." My brother, come and meet us, > Give old Satan his quietus, Join the raving, ranting regiment of, the just ; Flee from future tornientation To"6ur Army of Salvation, And inflate yourself with " gloiy " till you bust. We are marching onward gaily, Gaining countless con verts daity— Johnson, Jackson, Thompson, Jenkmson, and Jones ; One and nil are made seroner By. the drum and concertina, . ' 1 And all/i's/i-ly hist is lianished by the "bones." Oh ! We wither worldly folly With a well directed "volley ;" i For our motto is " To slay and never spare," And we soldiers dearly revel ■ ' In sharp-shooting at the devil, With a patent deadly double-barrelled prayer. There is really no mistaking The impression we are making ; Fish are flocking to our net in perfect shoals, At a recent little gathering So seductive was our blathering That we netted six-aad-twenty sinful souls. ! Maybe business dosen't suit you, ' j Then we'll readily " recruit " you ; i ('Tis a service full of little bits of " fab") W« have men of all descriptions, Who support us with subscriptions (For we're very smart at sending round the hat). You've no need of education' (Tkfis no consideration), But, possessed of leathern lungs you cannot fail : And I willingly will\wager • ' You'll attain the rank of " major " If you happen to bo just released from gaol, If for music you've a fancy ' , (Like our Hallelujah Nancy) . And can play upon a trombone or bassoon^ You would then become a colonel, < And be " fixed " for life eternal, (Always granted, that you never played in tuns,). As for me, I labour gladly, Aiidit doesn't pay me bndly (Though of wqrdly gain I never care to speak), But there's ghostly consolation In the sung remuneration Of a " screw "of fifty shillings every week. f There is one among our actions, ■ That appeal's to have attractions For the true Salvation warrior, I remark ; ■ .. ■Namely,' saving sonls from Hades ' (li they happen to be ladies'), With a holy course of " knee-drill "—in the daxh. Brother, after that suggestion, ,1 will merely put the question— - Don't you think it really worth a sinner's while To (by way of recreation) > . Join the army of Salvation;And be purified from wicked, worldly guile ? •''.... One of the Crowd. .

Laboite Kepokt. — E. M. Ueigliton & Co., Now Zealaud Registry and Labour Exchange, 177, Queeustreet, Auckland, report lor the week — The past week's .business bus beeu brisk, and many engagements have been made, general servants being in deia.uid and exceeding the supply. Men-servants are a glut on tbc market. •Auckland cau boast of a fair supply of general hands ; should we have a supply of women servants'equal to that of the men, we should be better able to meet the pressing demands. Uur engagements were :— Married couples, £50 J:o £65 ; farm bauds, los to 2os ; milkers, 10s to 20s ; cooks, 25s to 40s ; station hands, 10s to 20s ; grooms and gardeners, 20a to 25 \ blacksmiths and carpenters, 8s to 12s per daj ; j ouths for shops, 15s to 20s ; form lads, Ss to 12s ; housekeepers, £10 to £75 ; general servants, 8s to 14s ; house girls, 4s to 9.3 ; housemaids, 8s to 12s ; shop hand and improvers, 6s to 20s per week ; other engagements at current wages. We are always glad fco refer to any new industry, especially that which has every appearance of a fiuancial success, besides the means of aiiording occupation for a number of hands, and therefore a public good. We have seen the prospectus of the New Zealanet Tobacco Growing and Maiuifncturing^pompftny, and' shall refer at length to it in our next ;*umce it to say at present, the Company has a very influential dircctory,of which Mr C.E. Stone is chairman, and starts with every ,assurance of success, as upwards of one hundred farmers have obtained Seed, and at least 1000 acres of tobacco will be in cultivation this season under the superintendence of the growing manager, a person of considerable experience frquv America,.- , The directors,, we understand, with a view of affording every farmer and citizon an opportunity of obtaining shares, have appointed' Mr 'A f D. Bennett, tha well-known accountant, travelling general agent/to 'arrange the allo/gaiibUtpf shares, and.,witb' dnstrudfcionajtp,. attord '-.every,'