THE COUNTY

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 170, 15 December 1883, Page 12

THE COUNTY

„ ' •• Ptjkekohe.' — Sain visits Harrisville very often. '....Martin was in luck last Sunday evening, when Le'first saw Miss M. .home and then escorted her. 'sister Home.... Arthur is still preparing for the redding. Kumku. — Athletic sports come off at Kumeu on IBoxing Day. Although got up in primitive style, ,TO hopo they will be successful, and regret to t liear that the subsections are not coming in as ■wq wish. . Puhoi. — What takes A. B. down the way so I often?... lt is not to get lessons on the violin that ' ,"W. goes up the hill so often ?... Annie looked very pretty'on that c01t.. ..0n1y two persons 'went to -church on Sunday, a local brogue maker and a landlady: Okete. — Wh,o was the young lady Bashful Creorge was seen kissing ? Is it the young lady, that takes our Jack so much to the Waitefcuna School.... The Doll says shejwill'^not keep Oamaru •any longer.... What takes Jim to the half-way ihouse every Sunday ? Puhoi (Whangaroa.) — The missing link went to the Bay to get the programme printed. When •\rill he return ?...The quill-driver can't get up a boat raffle, so he is taking lessons from the sawdust king in racing matters. What's the swindle ? 3lorc sawdust, oh king ? - Paeroa. — What doe 3 Mackytown T. do with tl>e flowers he has so much trouble to get?... Miss O. looked well'with the young buck out riding on Sunday.... What takes l£. to the bilker's shop so of ten?... Was it nob a shame of C. and J. S. to take those dolls to the tangi in such mud ? . Otahtthtt.— ls it true there is an engagement between the rooster and the dot?... It was too bad of Annie to make tooth extractor get off his horse ' and walk' to the station.... Ask A. what was the re'asdn she\ forsook the carpenter?... Modest S. ihaving bought the ring, the cake is soon expected. ' Waitettj.na. — S. says she pets the lambs for "Frank's dear sake. .'..When will C, of Whata Whata, visit the Haroto, poor dear.... The coming dance at Ruapeke will be a great success.... L.'s new house gets on very slo\yly. . . .Did that spooney couple enjoy the ride from Te Mata the other slight. TAIRTJA. — Willie, don't speak so loud on so sore a subject, and don't \be so sensitive, but live in hopes.... So Missß., now at Parnell, has announced that her dancing lessons are a very great success. She is jubilant,- and says she is quite sure she can -eclipse A. L....H0w the young Litlies long for the holidays. What unexpected happiness for P. JMangoere. — The boys wish they could occupy the place that. little boy does in Miss A '3 affections. An older one would suit better, but don't jou wish you may, my dear ?... Bob has got the oage, and thinks he has entrapped the bird.... JTred means it now the house is finished and fuinished. Where there's a Will there's a way.... -- That Sacramentalid. does not improve much, but it can't be the .rough roads tLis time. Pokoti. — Miss W. and C. are going into double harness Shortly .'...Jack met with a disappointment •when he proposed to that young lady ontho flat the other day. ' She' thought that she hud enough to * .keep. Rather a hard knock a volunteer.... ' <« s Faether " has left for the city with his medicine -;-' chest... '.Who was the young blade that got the Jjqontonts of the water-jug at li.'s on Sunday morn'^".ihg,last,?...'What wore those young men doing in 'Tuckei-Js shop early. on Sunday morning-. Kaeo (Whangaroa). — What a templing bait that" old fool , held out to A.! She said the subtlety of the devil always shows itself.... Miss ■C. says' she tlinks more of her young man than , she does -of „the, the clergyman... What bring 3 the fireman ug so often? Is he looking for a wife. - fcA nice, good-looking, young widower should not liave long to wait....Jeannie says her rival's face 'is like a plum-pudding with all the plums .looking' for daylight. Papakura.— o., of Papaknra, arid C:, of Drury, -were thinking of making a circle, but, from some ' unforeseen circumstances, one went bankrupt.... TTred. has. found the heart ,of the young lady. ,"When is it coming off ? Have you found the hat 'jet?. ..How are,the parson's daughter and B getting «n ? It is quite time that progress was reported. ...Is^it true that the young blacksmith has taken , it so seriously to heart that he lias gone for Walker ? • > „. .There is going to be a return cricket match between the good .Templars and the Tiplers. The odds are,, two to one on the brandy against water. Avostdale. — Some of the boys are going to get Tsuli-dogß by the time the next book-agent comes ■ V3.*ouhd....Who is the lady that do^ not believe in . sweeps, and how many tickets did she havo on the .' , Melbourne Cup?. '.. Bill, the baker's boy, should J>oy the question like a man, and join the " Hope- ' ' , less Band," then she might take to you.... When ,\ 19 Nebucnan, I mean Ebenezer, coming back? ,'; His manly form is missed from the creek.... High -, ( jinks in the cricket-field on Saturday. 'Someone i/r Twill be getting his eye in a sling yet. ■< ' TSJHIKIHI. — The Maori wahines are quite Broken- *- liearted since their Fiji friend left for, greener % -pastures. One of his satellites lias started for if,- "town in quest of his patron. His, friends since ® -last week's issue, describe the 'Observer as one g l/ «f the- boldest rags, in existence. How dare it fft£fipeak~the truth, of a man with .£20,00 and an hotel! §>-.';.. 'Will Ted never 'receive the parental blessing, *3 and go in and win?... Annie, bo off with the old 'Tii3oye : before,3 r oii are on with the new, and dent ask young men to tea. ' What will Lugs saj^ ? pfe'2'SE : n3r'EZ"y.'- i — Wliat is Donald MoE., of Ohinegff*smi, r going to do with th c filly ? . . . How did Jenne sl|slfe '"".likfc. * ttuit 1 awkward ride to the 1 OhineIf^vai "ball P^The three young men that accomf|*|jgmed have been awfully delighted.... pj^^^|Jit;'tuat "Bob It. does not attend the Ohineafraid of old 0. since he acquired awfully too-too these BSB&.?.?£m^ O.ti^m;:, and " My Tom " going ti^o;?V^wtl luck' L to , them ! ... Our to give -a-'grand ;turn out aopn. WEsßss v dVd^they, enjoy ' B.„ Btifttiirkey ? Fair inexCtitne. .\ .Wjheve . didjM'llj&ur spring the

Et-J-ekslie: — The conduct of Johnny and- Fred at church on Sunday should have been seen by tlieir fnamas....We hope to receive a card for" Jimmy's wedding party.... kiss B. had to depart before L. returned — weeping and gnashing' of. teeth.... When is Carry's wedding to take place? ...Miss R. looked quite charming in her now blue dress 'on Sunday evening.... Miss F. looked very becoming in the dross of black velvet on Sunday evening.... Jim F. is -slowly recovering from his illness. * Look sharp, old boy, Christmas is coming. Panmtjee.— Where was that dark-eyed young clerk last Monday when a certain young lady rode through ? I wonder was he hiding ?... Who was that damsel from Ellerslie that Jack T. brought over to show to his mother on Sunday ?... Owen will shortly lead Miss S to the altar.... Who owns that likeness that Gk,S. always carries in his breastpocket....The house under the mountain is agaha .to let, but " Epsom Will" has been inspecting it. ...What made Jack so ill after his recent "trip to Otahuhu?...lt is no use Dick trying to make friends with Towser, he will not have it.... Walter is going to give up shooting, as he is not a very straight shot, and the stones hurt his feet.... The young blacksmith is learning to ride. Kohtjxoiitt. — What takes E. round the beach each evening ? Music lessons ?....Paihau, Ihu Boa, says he will put your nose , oh the grindstone if you "sketch his 'profile any more.... Who said L. would prove a great acquisition to Colorado? and why ?... Although the '; missing link " would not allow the professor to examine hi 3 cranium, he is phrenologically inclined, and loudly avers he possesses a good Head — so' do many other things in animated nature.... BVs dance was very enjoyable, Miss B. : and Mr &. being to the fore. A. dances very well, bub (oh, ye gods !) what inches! What bliss to. see the " immortal " waltzing! Where did he learn that well-bred manner of claspiug his partner ?. Limerick, eh ? WaitabA. — If you want Gh at any time, call at the Ealeigh billiard saloon. ...Who was that young man who was persuaded that his trousers were moleskins ?...Old Bob scared the life out of one of the mice, and said that he would put the big wharf rat in the river for a pint of beer.,.. Dick Deadeye has another contract. He spent a very miserable Sunday walking up and: down watching for a saddle and bridle.... One of the young butchers, who is to be married at Christmas, is practising the accoixleon for the occasion.... Oh ! you naughty boy, Tom, to keep two girls on the string. What would the Wanganui donna say if she knew ? . Tatjpo.— Those two ladies (save the mai*k !) think they look well in their Tam-'o-Shanter caps, but the "Observer man at the corner thinks, differently.... Mrs C. has returned' to her old quarters.... Why is a certain slavey ashamed of the good old Irish name of Peggy ? She is now known as Dny's-eye, but eye-opener would be better... .A large quantity of Johnny's cake from Tarawera is to arrive for Miss M....1t was very rude of the surveyer to draw a wet forefinger across a young lady's eyebrow to see if she peucelled — result, in the affirmative. ...The Boycotter and -a blue bottle went bail for old Jack's behaviour for three months. In this case, the cute fellow is on the right side of the hedge, re £. s. d. . Fiat Bush.— ls it Miss E. or the good music that attracts Sam to the chapel so often ?..'.Who was the convert that saw the devil, and said ifc was like a calf covered with chains ?... Miss X, didS a great flutter with the dough-boy at the tea-fight.... The little snob and Mi-js S. looked like two cooing doves at the Show.... Tom's departure is the talk of the day.... The next time that couple are spooning, they had better find another place than the gate, or they will let the cows 0ut.... How Jennie enjoyed iliat chicken. ...Miss R. is very lonely since she. left North Shore. No move meetings, Annie!. -.. People are anxious to know when Miss W.s wedding is. to come off. She says there's no cards, no cake, nobody's business.... Sain is now the admirer of Lushiugtbn's • c00k.:.. ■ .There are to be three groans or a leather medal . presented to the players at the church. ... What a man Bill is since he. -bought that racer.... Was it the thought of losing many that made Jim sick ? Howicic. — Tom was doing a big spoon with Miss C. at Egan's corner last Sunday evening.... What attraction has Tom at D.'s store every night ? Is it get the news for mama ?... Farmer : J. thinks it would be much better, for people to I mind their own business, and not be passing remarks on him or his girl when they go 0ut.;.. J... is serious in the matter with Miss F.... Kate looks well since her trip to Ooromandel. C. was very lonely during her absence.... The Shants and Miss C. are going to the Thames to spend the Christmas. ...D. is having a gay time ot it with the boys across the Creek. ...The Captain says Pat is the only gentleman in, Howick. Is it because he wears a hard-hitter ?...DidMrsFitz catch Leather doing a spoon with the milkmaid P... The goose-berry-tart gained a victory by taking home the 8u5he11....C., of Plunder's Hill, is causing a great sensation among the Howicic ladies. The betting is 5 to 1 on the housekeeper. I Whakx+aroa. -C. is ready for the Whau!... ' Since Ned went to confession he's a bill mooney... i Joe, what would that' Onehunga girl say if she 1 could see you piling it on with the lemonsqueezer ?..,lf a certain householder doesn't keep his eyes open, I'll show him up. G-irls of questionable character are very good decoys ; but he 1 had better take the hint.... Holy Poker ! whata , time those two men took to get a. clean sheet. He's in hide's way : he got all he could, and then went overland. y . .A concert and ball is to be held, the proceeds to go to Mrs Smith, a widow with a large family. The Tami Tami bigots would not buy any tickets,' because they thought the priest had something to do with it. Is this their boasted Christianity?/ God help the employe that doesn't side with them.... Splendid singing at St. Paul's since they obtained new books for the choir. If the Wesleyans take the hpit they will start singing practice again.... A great need is felt here for the want of a place to pass .the spare, time of an evenipg* for those wko do not frequent the pubs. This is a place of migration} and the settlers don't care so long as they get all the gilt. ...The manner in which the local Grood' Templar Lodge is conducted is ,a disgrace' to the noble order it represents., The officers are,treated with contempt if they to not belong to the clique.

Dairy ITi,at.— Our kw-abiqling, truth telling (when it suits) settlers here were quite at their wits' end to know why duv Councillors wanted a bobby ; but the mystery is.solved—t he borse-slioe masher roams at large with -a fiddle-bag.,.. They know as much about the Obsebveb news_ at the Post-office as those who pay their subscriptions.... The poor Victim is in a horrible state of dejection at the very thought of being paired with an old maid; but the angel is administering soothing draughts to him .... Tupaki has succeeded, in' rescuing his long' brother from the jaws of death. Brad had a spoke in the matter.... The little .frog' masticater (tout ensemble), with his. sophistical . meekness,, is a professional lady-killer and a real j connoisseur .of cheap 'silver watches .... The Growler may still be seen plodding his weary way to Chalk Farm for constitutional eggSj.iThe teacher reminds one of the original Kelly gang,... The boss of the Junction Hotel is having a jubilee.... Removing'^ timber to the black bridge would never, agree with Bill's complaint ; he would croak with the dryrot. ■■ Oisbokne. — Our court-house is a nico place for a picnic ; it is. situated on the bank of the river, high to a Greenwood, and there is a great Booth there... .Young Chips looked awfully downhearted at the departure of his girl by the steamer ;, lie seemed done broion. There is a screw loose somewhere, that's plane.... What's on the board, W. B. ? Look out for the ex-wood-spoiler, or you' will be losing your sweetheart who lives in Palxnerston street.... Ellen, are those kisses, intended for Harry, that you know across the street, or— Oh, no, I'll never mention it. ...Why did Cantlc. make such a.»f its's about his prize on Friday night ? Did he want a cup.... What .has Me. done with his lamps ? ' Garry shall have H(all) thepiirty dear. E. R., your're wanted ; the choir missed, you last Sunday morning.,.. The tall young man that stops at the gate in Childers-street every morning for flowers, generally asks for forget-me-nots. His boss will not forget him if. he does, not hurry up earlier.... W. R. brought down the house at the concert .on Friday, last, they say C(oft) in. the,, still night is his favourite song. ,''.'... PAKUiiA^GA.--Who is that barmaid with -the • curls, and. pompadour that bought the beautiful co^r for her father? He says no man will get ker but a member of. the Pioad 80ard. ....Th0 rose of Pakuranga is looking very solemn. ...The Prince's daughter declined taking King John, and the old woman saj'S she will not give the glass case....S. must have been milking the cow, when he ovorset Michael's load of hay.... Aunt Mary, says if you do not stop putting poor Joe in the' Observer she will take her custom from y0u.... Y. says he will purchase the riding hat for Miss Pt. oiit of this month's pay.... Miss B. of Howick says Jim can get under tho table when Paddy comes, and that he came in handy for a walking stick, when she could get no one else. Poor Jim! ...What makes Bd'b so fond of. spending his evenings with all those larrikins around G's shop ? . . . What makes Miss P. of" Pigeon Mountain look so sad? Has she lost all hopes of Johnny ?... Our 'buss-driver- says he will spend another month in Howick now as business is getting brisk, and the buss paying.. Good shot, Pat !...Is it true Bill F. has. popped tho question to our pupil teacher?... Pussy says ho will stick, to Snaps.... ls it true that H.^has .popped the, question to tho mouutain widow ?... Miss C. will havb nothing more to do with F., for drinking the lion's "share of that whisky.... B. has been caught smelling tho corks of the dead marines, found in the anti-room after that anniversary. Kamo. — The bachelors of the black diamond fiold gave a ball on Friday evening last in the hall, which was tastefully decorated with ferns and nikau. There were about forty couples assembled to dance to the strains of music, played by Messrs Hust and Morgan in a very creditable manner. The chaperons and old folks, with the exception of one old dame/ were conspicuous by their absence. The old lady sat the evening out, although two or ihree offers were made to her. to dance, she evidently preferring, to make closer .acquaintance with her seat than the young who so gallantly offered their services | l&v her enjoyment. The Village Smithy and his I future partner had a ''jolly time of it, having the greater part of the programme together, no show being given, to anyone except- when the Smithy' departed for half -a'n-hour. • when the young dairymaid was. in great demand. The question of selecting the' belle excited great diversity of opinion. The majority favoured Miss Elliott,although Misses Steward' and Cleary ran her very close, fov the honour.... How was it Sweet William looked so downhearted and sad. ? There must have been bad weather at the Heads. What a pity !...Had the butcher lost his road .on that eight-mile track,- or was he some stock ?... When is'the union between the fair' organist and (•ho young carpenter coming off ? Delays are dangerous.:.. Our little postmaster had rather a rough ride to ' Auckland. Lucky he was so well supplied with arnica. Haavke's Bat. — Gay festivity reigned in Clive on Wednesday last, when the last of Cheer's fair daughters donned the bridal veil. It was a fine cheerful morning as Miss Polly Cheer, in white satin and swansdown, took her happy journey to the picturesque old church in Clive, where she became Mrs Harry Honor. A large assemblage and "Tho WeddingMarcn " greeted the bridal pair as they entered, and afterwards the guests sat to an elaborate breakfast at Ruddock's Hotel. The usiuil felicitations were exchanged, and dancing followed ; several suburbs, viz., Havelock and Hastings, contributing their quota of grace and beauty. A hailstorm of rice greeted the bride when she appeared in her travelling-dress, and the cab was bombarded with old slippers until out of range on the Napier-road. > Honeymoon at GHsborne. . . . We have heard of the champion mean man at Hastings. Bub there are two mean boys at Havelock, (3c. and D., who made the girls walk home from the gaff the other night. The barb wire fence is awkward at night, as you are apt to leave hosiery, hanging to it, especially when*they are new chums..'. M., when he goes to see the Dramatic Club again, ought not to hide his light under a bushel, 1 ! mean a girl's straw hat, it may be convenient but it is not becoming.-. The Hastings' Books are universal in .declaring that those who commenced laying months ago had the worst, of ib, as nothing has been, or is likely to be backed npw/J but gbssip for double event. 1 ; The plungers willliaye to, go hoppicking this year."...The'fighting barber is . going to give his expressions in a sporting" pamphlet;. 1 , -., -.

; ; r- , ■'„, v r \ .. ,jt ffi Waiboa (H.B,).— Pan has -with r,egret" lef tttherV'v| town to reside up country. '"' Nellie says J Fan,VJ4^ heart has been seriously affected of ' late Jjecauser „..?• the fair H. slighted her and caused her* many, -jj sleepless nights j but how sweet she smiled wbeii; ■walking with T....What was our local carpenter's- ' wife waiting for?... The widow D. seems to be-,,-" peeping Tommy hanging on a long .while. Tbe-^-t poor' fellow looks quite wretched.... How did the ex-policeman's wife like that close confalb with' W.? Won't W. return in a- peaceful m00d.... 1t> is reported that P. met .-sandy- on that sacredToacl < between Kapu and Clyde, when, to tboir horror, a small party rode up within a few yards. Sandy cleared, and left poor P. to face it out.. ..The-' Jersey is still disturbing her feelings about thcr surveyor, but M. C. has come from Mohaka witha view to cutting the Jersey but. . . .Bailiffs are theorder of the day here, but we are in hopes of soon, getting rid of them. Didn't the Crown bailiff do** the Liddle bailiff nicely.... When are we going to" see the nice little surveyor again ? It is/ said he - has the heart ache ; but Agnes 13 determined to" find out at any price.... Fan has taken to themountain again.... Louie looks well on horseback., , ...S. has quite recovered from the shock; hisfriends seem to suffer, buL they arc glad to accepts the half-quid. ONEmrNOA. — Who *was the individual run* out from the ' dance last week for refusing to pay hfs sapscription ?'...Thc > Jehu declares he will whip that son of V,ulcan for monopolising the milliner.... Why was Emma, o£ * Rocky !Nook, absent from the late dance'?, Wasit because she did not get an invite?. .. Who were those three ladies bathing near Mangere Bridge,. and who took flight when the train approached ?' Boats to let— horses for hire.... The tallest maw. in Dannie's shop has bought some hair-dye preparatory to receiving the bank appointment....The---wee damsel of great expectations should practice poliLencss. 1 Declaring that she would see respectable people condemned rather than go into there company, is not according to etiquette.... Ask what he thought about the Devonshire girl ancM the late kick?... lf Willie thought t-o exasperateArchie by putting him in the Omesvee he was' very much mistaken, for, judging from appear--ances, he takes it very quiofcly....Doe3 Hanualb still flirt with the black boy of Pumpkin Flat ?... The Queen-street tinsmith did not know that the-' young Auckland draper was near when he begged Jennie to allow him to escort her home tfie other nigh. ...Has L., of Pumpkin Flat, heard that M. made a fool of his son, and is that the reason shehas to go homo alone ?...Fred P. was greatly disappointed tit not being called upon toshow. hisu abilities the other night.... Why was J. N., of the Flat, in such haste to get out of the church gate- * on last Sunday night? Was it to see the lady of Catherine-street home ?. ITikukangh. — Cannibalism is what we ' are % coining to, ii the Hikurangi population continues to increase at the same rate as now. At present, it seems as if the land cannot bo made to produce , quite sufficient for the ordinary necessities of life. Here we have the anomaly of farmers buyingvegetables for thoir table, aud all kinds of food for themselves and their cattle, which in most civilized countries is produced from the soil thor cultivate. If then, the produce of the land is not sufficient for the .present population, aud if thispopulation'should become doubled in the course of ten or twelve years, u3 it most assuredly will at the present rate of increase, it follows as i$L insuperable necessity that the necessaries of life will be "wanting, and as far as this district and its' resources are concerned, cannibalism, rmi'e and* simple, must be the result. It is said that, in some parts of Eussia, Turkey, Spain, and Ireland, people will neither save nor work' to obtain the means of saving, unless induced by the expectation of outrageous profits, and not even then, unless the profits are forthcomirg at once ; and thus their land is left uutillcd. But here, we have an active, intelligent, energetic people, willing to work for a small remuneration, and "even, to toil and drudge so as io make the land productive and secure a small j>rofit ; a people nob lacking in thrift, and with the spirit of accumulation strongly developed ; a people full of- new ideas, laudable ambition, find great thought for the future. What must be done ? You say it is the niggardliness of nature and want of energy on the part of the people. Very well, lads, sit still and growl at nature, but, in the meantime, stop the increase of the population or be prepared - to eat one another. Mpecubt BAT.-J-Wbat was B. doing at the widow's on Saturday ? Waa he fishing for a newground ?...G-iddic is going to see how he look 3in double harness as soon as the happy pair go to town. ..The gay young E die was highly flattered . at being noticed in the OBSEUTEU....^The "jai^ turts" expressed dissatisfaction about the last ball on account of the Qkoho contractor having throe dances with Misa'D.... Young Fibs has' laid the foundation for another series of courtships... The "fcarLs" say Andy, the musician, had' better be seated on a hogshead, as he will not have so far to hop for the beer. ..A young lady says Bffie had better not pay so much attention to our handsome Dane, as she will be 'apt to lose Jersey. ...The sawduslers are anxious to know when Mousey is going to give tliat spree.... The athletes want to know if the General has a mortgage ori your boat, Mousey.. ...ls the school ""raarm" / preparing to ascend the ladder of fame ?...Has ' Charlie transferred his affections from Minnie to D.?...Hac. says he will back his street against any other in the Bay — not for , whistling..'. ...The Otahuhu masher has given up the 'chase after M. and taken to D....J.M. says the reason why ho does not rianoe is to give the obhors a chance. Too thin, Johnny.... lt was too bad of Bniily to * promiscthe last dance to two gentleinen....Whatf joung man was refused a dance through .saying he could travel with M.?.., 0ur local fishermen. • failed in their endeavours to find Tairua. They - are better on a scarf than a bar.... T00 bad lof Miss D. to forget the mate so 500n.'... 0n dit that F. is about to join the theatrical troupe. She is rehearsing at present.... H. seems to like, the,trip' up the river every Saturday... : How is -it; that v Toney Botand is seen more with' his. "mates ,» now - than a little while ago,?..'.Maggie liG1 i Gk i *sfcancls<a . •- better Bhow, now witH, ! B > ..''..!Pai*nier,'|.whn ( t /; [abpiit '" ; the pink in the envelope ?>- i Ha,ve s ypuM6rgot'ten. .'^