THE LADIES

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 163, 3 November 1883, Page 11

THE LADIES

Helen, of Troy, was the first -woman who wanted to go to Paris and leave her husband at home. A fellow who has had experience . with girls, says it's easier to drive with one hand than to row with one hand. **~ " The things vro call women" are. according to an old maid, " simply small packages of aches and pains done up in velvet and lace, and topped off -with ostrich plumes." " Cold gravey," " rat tan," « amiable mouse/ and " elephant's breath " are the latest devlopinents in colours. Of the last there are four shades, each one being uglier than the other. Two Parnell girls lately tried which could hold lier breath the longest. One held it so long that she couldn't begin breathing again when sho tried, and was with difficulty brought round. Sho had never walked out with a young man in the Domain T>y moonlight. The Princess of Wales is determined to put a stoja to the too liberal display of charms so often seen in the highost society, and for the future ladies will have to supplement the band that has so long done duty for a bodice by something more compatible with decency. A woman of lady -like appearance, named Mary Catherine Villars Fortescue, was committed for trial in August, for obtaining monoy by false pretences, at Bewbley, England. Mary was a phrenological fraud, of the "' advice on past, present, and future " sort. It transpired that she had a Jotter from the Prince of Wales, but ifc was not road out in Court. It was at the Tamaki. Late one night, old Mi*. Jones heard, as he thought, tho cows in the garden, and stepping oiit he yelled : " Ho-ah, Towzer I seize 'm old man, sool em !" But as the dog came bounding by, his daughter clutched him "by the collar. " What in thunder are yor doing ? Don't yer know them cows has been here twice this weak ?" " Oh, pa," was the reply, " you're making a mistake. It's — it's — only a calf." Then the old man smiled grimly, and told Agonisa she ought to havo let him know sooner. A Home paper has discovered that reversing in tho waltz is not the correct thing, and states : * l The Prince of Wales having tried in vain to accomplish it, has given up in disgust, and in revenge has barred it from tho fashionable circles ■which ho is supposed to adorn. Society willingly follows, and the reverse is now considered j bad form in London and on the Continent. It ■mil not do to dance a step, when a bulky and clumsy Princo cannot accomplish it." Of course, in whatever style Albert Edward leaves his " footprinco on the sands of timo," that must be the correct way. Ruakin is rough on the modern stylo of lovemaking : — " In a miserable confusion of candlelight, moonlight, and limelight — and anything but daylight — in indecently attractive and insanelyu expensive drosses, in snatched moments, in hidden corners, in accidental impulses and dismal ignorances, young people smirk and ogle, and whisper and whimper, and sneak and stumbla, and flutter and fumble, and blunder into what they call love." Ruskin has been there himself, evidently lots of times. And after having had plenty of fun, now lie's got old he gives away tho whole process in a very mean manner. In Maaa., U.S., a special Health School is established, where, in addition to usual studies, a regime of gymnastic study is made a feature for girls, and corsets, and so on, are absolutely tabooed. The benefits derived by 300 girls pupils are said to be wonderful. In Boston, a Normal School for Physical Education, has already turned out 200 women teachers of school gymnastics ; and there is a rush of teachers to learn this par- { ticular branch. Tho teachers themselves find it infinitely pleasanter than the usual drudgery, and some become extremely proficient gymnasts. This really occurred. In a su.bxi.rhan train two ladies turned the talk on to the one groat subject, the servant problem, when ono said complacently, " I have a jewel of a girl — she's neat, rospectful, and works hard, and I only give her 9s. a week." " But how's that possible ? I can't get a girl like that for double 1" " Oh, she's from the country, and doesn't know she can get more wagos ; and I tell her tho wages are high, you know." A week after, the jewel of a girl was working for 11s. a weekin the household of themistresa who" couldn't get a girl like- that ;" and the two ladies never speak now in the train. A young lady, who makes her living by preparing moals for the consumption of visitors to a certain hotel about 20 miles from Mastorton, was recently wooed by a well-known local waggoner. The suit prospered, the lady declared that sho loved the gigantic carrier " baiter than life," and the succesful lover proposed and was at once accepted. The happy 'day arrived in dv» course, and the happy pair proceeded to church. On their arrival at the altar, however, the bridegroom remembered that he had forgotten something (possibly the wedding ring), and returned to the hotel to find it, leaving his blushing bwdo behind. We regret to learn that the Lothario has not sinc<y been heard of. When the Princess Louise returned from Canada and arrived at Windsor, she was kept waiting until she had changed her attire and until the Queen sent word that she was prepared to receive her. It is reported that the Princess entered the drawing-room in the evening to await dinner, dressed in a most lovely crimson velvet costume, with crimson hose to match. The Queen happening to espy the Princess's feet said : " Do you not know that coloured stockings are not permited ia my presence ? Go to your room at once .and change your stockings." And so tho poor Princess came down to dinner in a crimson velvet dress, weaning white hose. "A. very wealthy and beautiful girl fell in love ■with a young man," said a lady," who passed her window every morning. Ho had beautiful, big, sad black eyes, and fair hair brushed back from a noble brow, and under his arm sic always carried a brown book. She usrod to sit by the window ©very morning and watch for his coming, and presently he began to notice her, and one day he

brought a bunch of violets and placed them on the sill of the broad barred window, and then she was sure he was a poot, and every morning he did the same thing, until she fairly grew to worship him. But one day he camo and rang the front door bell and delivered a bill for £2 ss. for violets sold and delivered ; all the romance died out of her ; especially after sho found out that he was only an assistant at a florist's, and that the brown book was the box he used for carrying his lunch.