THAMES TITTLE TATTLE

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 163, 27 October 1883, Page 8

THAMES TITTLE TATTLE

Tommy's going to do it at last! Is Bob going to take the pledge P He was inspecting Browne's furniture the other evening Is the arrival of the long one the cause of that illumination of Charlie s .phisog What was it Louie left on the counter that caused that suppressed shriek on the discovery of her loss when in Albert-street on Saturday night ?...-~A^ select birthday party was given by Mr and Mrs Aire^ at their residence, Pollen-street, and proved one of the most enjoyable gatherings it has been my lot to attend. The features of the evening were the charming amiability of Miss Douglas and the dancing of Professor Owen, who seemed in vograted with the fire of younger days. Mr A. Martin supplied the music in a very creditable manner. The whole reflected great credit on the host and hostess It is something lamentable to witness — as your owu witnessed on Tuesday evening — two young ladies, who aro blessed with good address and passable intelligence, visiting that old fraud of Bolleston-street, believing that this old hypocrite can foretell the future. Remember, my amorous creatures, the future is only in the hands of an all wise Creator The following suggestion is offered to the organist of the Congregational Church choir: Get electric seats made. A case of Hop Bitters or Hitchen's Blood Restorer might remove the cause, as it is painful to behold the infirm and rheumatic attempts of the male portion of that musical body at rising ; the ladies and organist always having to wait for those esthetic gentlemen The clarion has sounded, the oracle has spoken, your doom ie sealed, and your own, lik« Othello's, occupation is gone. The great and mightr editor of our evening rag, in a masterly and scholarly leader last week, launches forth on the curse of society papers generally, and our Provincial one in particular. This learned gentleman evidently forgot for the tine the old saying about the danger to people in glass houses throwing stones when he wrote about the publication of "disgusting details," etc. The Star never docs this— oh, dear, no! Still we have heard it remarked, after our worthy K.M. closing th« Court doors, where cases of a disgusting nature were being heard,—" Oh I never mind ; we'll have it all in the Star to-night." But where the cream of this Joke comes in is in the fact that this potentate has only just awoke to the fact of the nauseousness of this Society paper. Of course, Ido not meak to insinuate that this outburst of eloqaence in the defence of the morality of the community in whichheresidw was caused by a spirit of recrimination or' thin-skmned-ness — never, no never,— tout rather as an offering of thanksgiving to the said community for tolerating the "rag" since this moral man took the Editor's chair. X wouldn't have noticed the ravings of this individual had it not been that he misconstrued the remarks of a rev. gentleman, and, when informed of his error by another person, treated him with an effusion which, savoured muchly of his characteristic pomposity. la conclusion, I beg to inform him that the Society paper he takes to task does not publish anonymous correo' pondence. The rising young step ladder artist intends laying in a stock of dynamite to blow the first fellow* head off who winks at his darling Billy intends going in for a champion bicycle contest ; look out Walter Who was the lady that declined to sing at a certain concert because of a worthy painter's .daughter taking part in the same entertainment. On being remonstrated with, (and reminded that her husband was only a vendor of the articles, the said young lady's father made use of in the trade), exclaimed, "Oh, you know we must draw the line somewhere." Carey dear has returned from Sydney, being unable to J'eiaain longer away from his numerous sweethearts on the Thames What was the reason T. B. did not sing the songs allotted to him at the Gordon Gooch concerts ? Surely he must have forgotten the warm reception we gave him when he sang at ihe presentation of medals to the Scottish Band. His substitute, a spry young man, nearly met the samefate Johnny C. must be frightened, someone will rim away with bis young woman, when he takes a couple of days holiday to escort he^i-haok to the Thames The jolly painter, of Tararu, is^rfetting so .stout' now that ho has invested in a moke, axQ is to be seen riding round the suburbs. I pity the horse Maxy} it is not lady-like to pick up a dead rat in the street and throw it at your souipanions. You should be more circumspect when you are out Thesmartyouug teller at the Bank of N.S. W. looks as if ho had been in a heavy engagement. You may see him daily about the city with a blanket tied around his head. Oh, those horrid mumps! Still another yictini— Peter F., a well-known Te Arohaite, and Miss M., of the Thames, are going to run their heads into the matrimonial noose. You have been very long-winded over it, Peter; but better late than never Mr J. C. Williams has made another addition to his museum of curiosities, and will be only too happy to show them to visitors The members of the Bachelors' Club are on the sick list. I am afraid they have made themselves fretting over Darkies departure. Rocks has a chilblain on the,back of his neck. The cricketing and footballing community has suffered a loss in the person of Willie Prater.:. ... Mac has returned once more to see the boys, but they are not to be caught nap(ping) at Poker Otanui, was doing penance at the muffin struggle last Tuesday evening Mrs J. H. Smith gave a nice supper and dance at her residence, Beach Road, last Friday evening Barry O'Neill made a big hit with his song "An Awful Little Scrub" Some of our "nobs" are a mean set of people, when they visit the Theatre they patronize the pit and sit under the gallery, where they can see but not be seen The Irishtown Quadrille Assembly will finish the season with a ball on the 25th October. Te Auoha. — Jack McD., is back from Kati-~ kati and is spooning with Miss L.; smiling B. is out in the cold G. arrived safe home on Sunday after his ride to Piako with Maggie Why has H. deserted Miss Jj. C. ? He does not attend the Band of Hope meetings now D. S. has given the girl besfc/as the boys chaff 'him so Can't B. R. find a better placft for spooning, than at the door in Whitaker-streat. Mother's got her eye on you, Bob Pat Q.s lip has lowered tour holes since the double defeat of the Eat. Pat will have to get a swifter animal than the Eat if he goes in for racing Pat is off his feed on account of a woman refusing to admit him to the cottage L., the cabinetmaker, will have to adopt different tactics if he wishes to make any impression on the heart of the gentle B Coleman is going to give a free uight on the opening of his pub The champion mean man here now goes round every Saturday collecting the twopences. He is frightened we will all go smash before Monday morning The local buster 'gets all its news from the Public pound. It is pigs roaming at large ; cows want pounding ; muddy roads ; stormy weather ; ' welcome rain ; etcettery, and so forth. Paeeoa. — A complimentary concert to the conductor of the Paeroa Musical Society was held in the Public Hall on Wednesday last. During the day the weather was threatening, and at eventide the rain descended in torrents. Some believed the concert would be postponed, but the popularity of the conductor attracted a good house. At 8.30 the various items were creditably gone through by the Society, and received their meed of applause. The effect of some of the concerted pieces was a little marred by the absence of the priina donna, who unfortunately caught cpld, and could not appear. This circumstance should, hfcjvever, . be of use to the conductor, and teach him not to rely solely on one leading voice. The overtures by Miss Clarke and Mrs Cassrells were really excellent. Miss Clarke also accompanied the Society in " Macbeth," in her usual correct style, and also in other piece's. Mr Burgess sans: the "Koll Call" in good voice, and received a well-merited encore. Mrs Cassrells and Mr Rhodes sang the duet "Peace to thy Spirit"; very nicely. Mr Wiseman was, as usual, very funny in his songs local and original. Dancing terminated a very enjoyable evening The ink-splasher maintains he had decidedly the best show with the ivory-baiiger, only he was found wanting when weighed in the balance with carrots and a big concern Who was that would-be-esteemed pious old lady that economised the tr^ith thusly :— by refusing' to take her paper on the ground that half the copies did not reach her ? When really, madam, was it not because "our own" had trodden on your corns ? More anon. • ■ ".

The I.X.L. five shilling sweep is filling rapi&hr^ the moderate price, doubtless, causing many persons t!p have a chance in the great racing carnival of th* Southern hemisphere.— Adrt; , „ t , ... >'v..;... .- ■. ',' I'^kS/ctod