THE MINISTERIAL CHANGES.

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 159, 29 September 1883, Page 11

THE MINISTERIAL CHANGES.

(By " Obsbbtbb " Telbfbqne.)

On Monday afternoon there was something the matter with the Obsebvbb telephone. It wouldn't work at all. The wires were in contact, arid we couldn't manage to "gefc" the charming young lady who presides over the telephone at the head oflice. Instead of her clear, dulcet tones, a;conf uaed murmur of voices* came along the wires, bearing a striking roseinblance to the sound made by the House of Representatives' when wrangling over their honorarium. Gradually, however, the sounds hecame clearer, and we were ahle to distinguish individual voices. The instincts of the reporter were irresistible. We remembered the old journalistic maxim, " Get news ; get it honestly if you can,— but get news." Invoking the aid of one of the twenty-five verbatim shorthand . reporters who compose^ our emergency staff, the following report was laiken down :— (Ting ! ting ! ting,! — Whir-r-r 1) Sir George Grey. Are, you there, G-eorge ? George. — Yes, uncle. Grey. — Is it true that Whitaker has resigned ? ' George. — Yes. . Grey. — Glory ! Hallelujah ! Of course, they'll have to send for me. I knew it would come to this at last. I'll be up first steamer. Ask 'em to sent down the Hinemoa.. - George.— They've sent for Atkinson. Grey.— D— !-r-I mean, hang it ! Posterity will have reason to lament this. (Ting Lting I . ting I — WHr'T'r I) 3^to3s. — .Are ; you there, Dargayille ? . . i ; Bargayilie.— What is it ?„ . / •.'..,'.,',! Mpsß.-r-S.o, the; Ministry'^ burst, lip, „ L- • , : Dargayill.e- — 3?hejjord be praised J. :

*MpS|.^ad|Wi|iJ;ft|»&sa^'fo|rifflsf|iO private afaijs'4 % || U \/-./ f*% #v| I JODarf aville.— Flam ! "** a * 1 Moss. — How ? Dargavillo. — Whyf "of course, T. R. pulled the strings..' Didn't you know'fhathk told'Wiritaker that if he* couldn't: get that. Bill i. 'through' rhe'd . better resign and go. to Auckland, to attend to the business of the Bank ?' ,' Moss\— Then, why . didn't he go plit" during the session, and give our side a show ? .Dargaville.— die, was too loyal to his colleagues. B?ye- think he's ; such an ass as our deader ? A • Moss.-KBosh*! 'It's 'the i old. .Vogel' dodge* over again— the game of political shuttlecociki-^another shuffle of the cards. Dye think IVe. got any show ? I'm in. with DeLatour , and that crowd, you know. . ■ . „ i. . i,:.. •■ I)argaville : .—M6re ; shame fbr ( you I 1 .After all your dehuhciatiori, of 'lanH-s'harking, too,' and ratting.'* ' ,-, V, Moss. — But consider the exigencies' of the < Dargaville.— Oh,- dry up!; Your-driy's gone by. ■ We want new blood.' • .; '• •" •.. i ••? * Moss.— But I: was Provincial Treasurer of Otago. I'm a great financier. - Dargaville.— That's cool. Why,: there's, more finance in my little finger than in youi*:whole body. ._ . Moss. — Gk> to— -Dargaville ! (Ting! ting! ting! — Whir-r-r !) Hamlin. — Is that you, Bertie ? . Hurst. — Aye ! ' ' - ' ■. t Hamlin. — So Whitaker's resigned. Hurst. — G-weatest calamity ever happened Auckland. But I'm in communication-confiden-tially with Earl Derby, Sir William Jervdis, the Earl of Pembwoke, and several other distinguished statesmen on the weorganisation of the Ministwy. Hiixnlin. — Of course, you've been offered that portfolio at last ? . ' Hurst. — Yes ; but I want the Agent-GTeneral-ship. > Hamlin.— You ! Ha) ! ha ! That's good. , What for? ; ' . , ' Hurst. — To cultivate my acquaintance with the Bwitish aristocwacy. Hamlin. — Ami Bertie Savernas. Hurst.-4-Order ! — chair!' But look v here, you resign the Chairmanship of Committees iin my favour, and- I'll use my influence with Sir William Jervois and Atkinson to get you a portfolio. HamJin.— rNo fear, cocky; a bird m this hand, you know. Besides, G'Eorke • mayn ? t r get .'elected next time, and then I'll be. Speaker.? > r j ' Hurst. — Don't count your pigs. I've got my eye on that if I don't join the Ministry.' „ . " Hamlin. — You'd be useful' 'as- a Minister of Agriculture. Youknow all about, manures and boncdust, and "could put a' polish on 'things. You ought to have a porkfolio'. ' Hurst.— Goto — Waiuku 1 ! ' ' ' / (Tingle! tingle! tingle !j ' ; "'"' , Tole ; — Who's there ? v .•'■-,: Sheehan. — It's me — Johnny ! So the old man's resigned? • : Tole. — Not he j he's at the. Xawau. „'j Sheehan. — I mean t'otherest guv-ncr. — my partner, Fred's dad. • Tole. — Yes, and they say Peacock's the coming bird. Sheehon. — Gk>od man j he'll command a good following. Tole.— Why ? Sheehan. — Because he'll always have a tail. Besides, his microscopes will be useful to discover any latent political honesty in the Ministry. J Tole. — Why don't you go in ? Sheehan.— No fear. I'm playing a lone hand. The Land Court pays me better— besides, I really manage native affairs through Bryce. I drag him at mv chariot wheels. Tole.— How" about Freddy? Won't the old man's mantle descend on him ? Sheehan. — No,- bub he. may desceud on the. mantle more likely. We want some kind ,of cloak up here in Waikato just now, after that Whakamaru business. Tole. — What about Swanson ? Sheehan.— Wants professional knowledge. Tole. — How d'ye make that out ? ' Sheehan. — You're obtuse for an Irishman. Why, he's a lame 'un, to be sure. D'ye'see it ? — layman. : . . ■ Tole.— There's Hobbs. Sheehan. — He wants the Chairmanship: of the Board of Education, or to be tie leader of the Salvation Army. ' Tole;— And Whyte. ; Sheehan.—^-And anybody'a grandmother. Tole.— Or Pollen. " • ' Sheehan.— He might do. He's got one Recommendation. • Tole.— You don't say so !. . What is it } ? Sheehan^— He'd supply Bryce with soap. Tole. — \sThat do you say to. myself ? , Sheehan. —It would create a ( revolution. They'd say. you went into subvert the Education .Act. '■' ', '. „■" . .",. " ' „',;..•, Tole.— But I've yo^ed against any r ohange in the Act. . . '„-.... Sheehan.— They . don^t trust you, /and never will. , They won't, Tole-rate a. Tole. ' .. , . Tole.— Well, but who are we 'tp', ( piuj; in to represent Auckland ? Sheehan.—^Put in a carpenteu. ' * • ' ' Tole. — Nonsense ; why ?>•;.. Sheehan.-^-Tb repair the <neXt 'Split in the Cabinet. ■ . : ' ■ ■ Tole. — Or a shoemaker*. •" Sheehan. — You've got me there. Tole. — Because it wont last. Sheehan'.— What boots it? It'll be awl the same in the long run, the upper House will continue to cxi.^> and the sole chance to 'heel all our differences will be local Q-overnment* ; Tole.— Oh, dry ay I ■•■■<. [And you'd better dry up too, or we'll. be compelled to have recourse to the club'.— Ed'.J

Wantei> Known:. — T. Harris, tab&^bniat, has removed to Isaacs' Buildings, Lower Queeh-street. " Women's rights," called out • a ! prominent citizen wben<the subject was brcnvchedj :" what fmore di> thjey wanti?j',,- My wife bosses mo, onrjdaufjhter bosses us both, ana ; tlio servnut-jfirl bossefj the wnole family. Women's rights, indeed ! bosh;" AVid'he walked off te-HobaoK-street to inspect rhelatesfe etobk of : inillinery rfeceiyfed by^Me^ara Mimro, and , MUHgan, i^t^nding to biiy a cheap dress for^his wife. t But, beiug' struck with the frebTi'Btoofi: ofspTendid fctfreeas jftist received by this jWpuhir flrnt,' he ordered a siiitfor himself. -■ ■