THE ATTORNEY GENERALS SONG.

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 159, 29 September 1883, Page 10

THE ATTORNEY GENERALS SONG.

I, ams the very model of a great Attorney- " G-eneral,' " ' ' ' ' '' '' ' ■ I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral ; I've studied Q-reek and Eoman laws, as wall us : international,* ■'.-■.:. ' : . T And interpret, all the Statutes in a manner clear and rational ; I remember all the clauses of the Institutes Justinian, On Solon's; laws and DracVs I?can':give a sound - v opinion; : - '' ■ v> Prom Homer and Herodotus I quote with great facility, And believe that " Pollock's Contracts " is a work . of great ability ; ' I am perfectly familiar with Cicero's orations, With Euclid" and Algebra, to quadratic equations ; I have reSd^and studied deeply Hallam's Constitutional" 'History, And his famous^ " Middle Ages " to me is not a mystery; ''■"-, I'm familiar with the Classics, with the German and the French, And my precedents will always carry weight with any Bench*. •, I know the laws of property both personal and real, Of contracts, torts, 'and evidence, all the rules of . appeal ; Of practice and procedure I know every rule and thesis, I know all about conveyancing, and legacies and leases ; I remember all the rulings in all the leading • cases, I've attended all the circuits at sundry times and places ; I know a scire facias from a writ of scire fieri, And in cases of devastavit I'm always very wiry ; I know lex loci contractus from lex loci rei sitce, And all the leading owners in the country and j the city, Ratepayers and leaseholders in the suburbs and the Borough, I can keep an action hung up with adjournments and demurrer ; I unite with robur animi the robur et corporis, I have no respect at all for men who plead in forma pauperis ; The Statutes at large I know, as well as Statutes Penal, I And that the present Ministry has often been called venal ; 'Tis said witli great land purchasers we've all been in collusion, But Sir G-eorge Grey and Dargaville are under a delusion ; You'll get the proofs from Hansard and the C'ustus llotolorum, How completely our opponents they were vanquished in the forum ; Though my action in the matter ifc was but amicus curia, i The Opposition tactics were dam'mim absqtie injuries, . ' i Of the truth of all their charges they could give no guarantee ; And Dargaville committed political felo de se — In short, he found his charges were unfounded and untenable When defended by this model of a great At-torney-Geue'ral. But revenous a nos moutons, I'm a dab at drawing Bills, And I'm facile princeps at wills and codicils ; I've clients feme covert as well as feme sole, And I think at next elections I could bowl out : Mr Tole ; f \ I know the laws of capital, as well as Bankers' Law, And in bargains and transactions it is caveat \ etnptor ; I know the Native Land Acts, and the mode of alienation, Though to say I meddle in it is the basest fabrication ; I know the nature of a writ ad termimum gui prceterit, And can serve such wicked tenants with notices to quickly quit ; I understand embracery, and barratry and bottomry, (Hesitating for a rhyme) And I know the great shipowners have always thought a lot o' me,/ (Triumphantly) Lot o' me, lot o' me ; I understand, or ought to do, about assault and battery, For the conduct of such cases I've received the greatest flattery ; I know the Droeess habere facias possessionetn, And I've oft resorted to it in a case of nulla bonwn ; I can draft a Parliamentary, "Bill that's full of perspicuity, That is free from every surplusage, as well aa ambiguity ; As Premier I have precedence and social priority,. , , In the Legislative Council I command a good majority; I can make a speech convincing, and avoid the egotistical, Cram full of information — political, statistical ; I'm a stickler for the priv'leges of members Parliamentary, But of some of my experiences I refrain from all commentary ; I condemn all agitators and governments by factions, And would leave all Cabinet Ministers unfettered in their actions ; I believe *kn Upper Chamber is a body most essential, And in framing legislation should have a voice potential^ I'm in favour* of life members, with a mod'rate honorarium, . ; . (Hesitating for a rhyme) And that any- man who isn't is a kind of rude barbarian, (Triumphantly) Barbarian, barbarian ; I' think he should be brought up ; under Writ of scire facias t . . .. i i;OT4^eallycan!t pecceivetliati any kind of jcase^

tn'^hbrt, in' matter! iooial, ephemeral, __ I am the very 'model of a great AUtorrieM---A ••;«'< r* -"Ml- 3',". jT> ■ ; : POSTSeEIPT. At least I was, but gladly hailed the recent pro- ■ rogation,' ■ ■' -'•' >*'/<'''■'■'■ i{ - ">• Which I had been awaiting to hand in my resignation. " .>;.•••■■:•..•; -.- ••« J Quite , loyally I stuck to all'.^y','colleaguesthrough the session, While I sacrificed self-int'resfc, my business ancfo^ profession. : ■ ' Nor nearly forty years I've served. the int'rests of my party, ' ' And now I shall enjoy the oiitim cum Aignitate. In short, I think I'm growing old, "as" otner|kindsof men are all : . You , must find" another. ..model,,. for a great Attorney- G-eneral. .... Atttomathes.