BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 158, 22 September 1883, Page 14

BRIEF MENTION

,-' 3?irst question to* a Southerner — " What do you think of our beautiful scenery ?" The Herald prints Mount Eden " Mount Bdent." It is the Eden — tata !" of gaolbirds to the outside world. He : " My clear, I found those stockings lying across the parlour chair." She : " You goosey ! those are my new thread gloves." The Herald has invented a new kind of tool — •' pocket spades." It is said that the editor always carries one to clean his teeth after a free feed. The disgusting behaviour of a trio of drunken, Maories on an Avondale vehicle on Monday last was the cause of great unpleasantness to several lady passengers. If more respect is not paid to ladies than this by the driver, he snould get a long holiday. The cry is, " Still they come !" Yet another -mean man at Coromandel, who is said to put a live fly into his tea-caddy when he goes out, in order to detect if anyone has been helping himself to his Bohea. * The St. Leonards, whoso loss is telegraphed, visited this port several years ago under command of Captain Babbott, who afterwards lost the Water Nymph at Napier, and is now in command of a large steamer. An old bachelor, who particularly hates literary ■women, asked a lady contributor to the Observer if she could throw any light on kissing. " I could," she said, looking archly at him, "but I think it's better in the dark." !I?he latest report about Ouida is that she is a crank. She is also said to dress very showily. Her .bright yellow hair and her singular walk are conspicuous, but her voice and manner has the tenderness and simplicity of a child. Stays •, were quite unknown in Russia until Peter the Great danced with some Hanoverian ladies on his journey to Pomeraina. Quito astounded, the monarch exclaimed to his suite after the ball, " What confounded liard bones those German women have!" „. Another champion mean man has been un- • earthed at Te Aroha- Four months ago a friend entrnsted him with Is 6d to pay a washerwoman. When the friend returned the other day, he f^ound that the money had. not been paid to the poor woman. A> correspondent, who is evidently a kind of j tucolic dude, complains that the-Mangapai girls do not clean their teeth, and that it is not nice for a fellow ■when he kisses them. . Some benevolent person ought to send up a cargo of tooth-brushes. ' There, was some tall talking done down MclTaourne way during . the recent Boyne-water shiwoos, T>ut the following toast actually proposed and drank at a meeting takes the cake from all comers :— " Here's to the bugs that bite the backs of the Irish Papists." ■;Hurjss! -...■■:)■• , . • .-.. ,- ; . ..■ • • . w»"^i Correspondent : I; caufcions the readers, of the Observer against having- any connection with the "Australasian Sweep," as be forwarded a Post-office order for six tickets more than six weeks ago, and has not receivedL them., He bfelijaves the] affair to be ,a swindle."' * v , ' ■ ' > _£" % •■ .•> .".' y< A public to the Cqroinandol County Council is talked about, for the rapid manner in which they get through public business and repair the damages caused by the late floods. It is proposed that each member shall have a copy slung round his neck for a month. -It doM.npt, look very fair to see a committeeanan in an advertised sweep offering to lay £20 $o £1 that he would draw two horses out of three tickets in the consultation— and he did it. It was rare luck, to say the least of it. The name of the writer and the <jommitteeman can be obtained upon application. It is- understood that the i City. Council have under consideration a project to erect a board on t}ie summit of Mount Eden with the following question painted on it in big letters :—" Southerner, what do you ' think of our beautiful scenery ?" N.B. -The Wyndbaiastreet Granny will have the printing contract. jA) Waimate subscriber, who forwards; a substsciistion promptly on receipt of his account, remarks : "It was by the neglecting small accounts that the Duke of Buckingham was ruined (vide Ouidla's 'Chandos I *V- t The boss says he heartily wishes all our subscribers would profit by such illustrious, examples. A very shabby trick was played on a poor blind man the other day at the Thames. His business is to retail butter from door to door. In one. of his rounds last week he paid away a sovereign by mistake for a shilling. He las made the rounds of his customers twiceisince, bur everyone denied having received the money. It was rather rough on a man up at Dargaville •when'hetook the damper out of the ashes with a spacle and: found it had got heavier, and, on closer inspection, discovered that a grindstone had been substituted. Then he remembered that one of the noble tattooed sons of the forest had watched him putting that damper in the ashes. = A friendly football match was played on the Domain Ground on Saturday last; Phoenix Foundry v. Railway Workshops. ' The game \yas a well contestea game throughout, the Phoenix boys proving victors by 6 points to 2. For the winning side Williams as back ■played a very good game, securing a try, also Wilson, securing two trys, Stone also distinguished himself. We have lots of Browns, Smiths, and Eobinaons in Auckland ; but on a window in Shortland-street there is painted some half-dozen Jones's in various capacities, while above the window is another Jones, •who figures as an undertaker. In the decoration of that window, the patience of our local artists has beeu sorely tried. One kuight of the brush declares that the •rubbing out and the alterations he had to make would have sickened the stomach of, an ostrich.