BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 6, Issue 152, 11 August 1883, Page 14

BRIEF MENTION

,-,... , . : -»- ■■ .'• - Who drunk all those medical comforts ? " Tho lapsed masses." — Lamb's retaining " .■wan. 1 ; ■'■■■■' Bourne's coat gone to that bourne from -whence : no coat returns. New rendering, " Pair-o-dice and the beery," iritH much, spirit. ' ffobbs is the champion of the jam-tart industry. Sweefes to the aweet. Capting Wright wants a publican as big 'drummer. Now then, Bennett. Mistaken identity.— Several respectable citizens mistaken for the missing monkey. Herr Schmidt's half-3'early concert at the end - of the month. A musical treat in store. Moses says Heinus's 2000 pledges is nothing. He does more business than that in a week. 3tfr ; Bullet' succeeds Mr J. Russell as member of tne ,I.E.C. Bight. Every bullet hath its billet. iINES ON "THE BELLE" OF A RECENT BALL When dressed for the evening, girls now-n-days Scarce an atom of dress on them leave. Nor blame them ; for what is an Evening Dress Bat a dress that is suited for Eve. The Star's latest joke on "Wendell's wines— •' genuine wines." EhawlEhaw! Genuine whines. No, it wasn't tho water in the pipes that put the gas out at that dance in Synionds street the other ■ sight. . Three passengers who arrived in Auckland toe other day were named respectively, 3?ox, Sharp, and ■ Dodge. " The Barber of Seville " will be played at the ■Thames by Professor Cailliau's Company to-morrow (Saturday) evening, ON THE BLUE RIBBON. Blue Ribbon— well, but please to tell Why green or rtd wouldn't do as woll r .'•.> The reason's plain enough to view— They want the wearers to look blue. . Accordiug to an "English paper, seven trout caught in Lake Wakatipu and sent to Tasmania weighed 771bs, the largest being 19&1b3. the ' Star, "Mr Dargaville next quoted the words slio had used in reference to the Treasurer." Italics, ours. . But what a libel on Dargaville ! John Lrundon has not been deported from 1 ,Samoa> as some people in Auckland fondly hoped, but writes byituß-Myrfcle that his mission has been successful. .?. ,<■"' .\ . • '■ , - ■-, , . j^ttgjßftENTAEY DEBATES. ass is weak : ,i sse3 do not speak ? '.? 7 a severe shock by other day, has sinco Q be discovered. ■ Td it up.

; companies afceitot responsible forthe safety of valuables ' if the declared value has not been made m writing to the authorised agent or officer. There was a big fraud named Tarwlianga, A dab ns a stumping haranguer, He married a lass, Who wat- fond of a glass, Which aroused in his bosom such anger, That he frequently threatened to bang her, This frolicsome cuss, old Taiwhanga. Thomas William Gsvrr, whoso discharge from bankruptcy was refused on Wednesday, has, we hear, secured an appointment in Sydney as an insurance agent under S. Hague Smith, of twopence n i the * memory. Smith also got an insurance billet in Sydney, and netted £1000 a year, but we never heard whether he aent any of it to his Auckland creditors. A fellow feeling should exist between them. When it becomes generally known that Sydney Insurance Offices are tho refuge of Auckland bankrupts, many people will begin to consider whether it is not worth while to go broke on the chance of making £1000 a year ou the other side." We congratulate Sydney on the accessions to its population. CONDITIONAL IMMORTALITY. Brown's reply to Hodgson ; Hodgson's reply to Brown, and so on adinfinitum, Splendid advertising dodge : — Dear Brown, how green the papers are ; They don't see that you've got a dodge on, Of advertising in the Star Yourself and confrevc, Mr Hodgson. If we your word for gospel take, And say with you all flesh but grass is, Then let us die, and never wake, If heaven contains such braying asses. Lowisson, the popular jeweller, is rather a neat hand at practical jokes. The other da) he glued a halfsovereign under the glass of a case which stands on his counter in such a way as to appear to the casual observer as if it were lying on the outside. Then Lewissou sat down and awaited developments. Pretty soon a fashionable lady tripped in to pay a small account, and, of course, she twigged the half-soy. Then she remarked, as she leaned over the case, I think I have half-a sovereign somewhere," and she emptied out troin her purse soino silver, scattered it over the halfsovereign, and began fumbling about among the change. Her feelings, when she discovered the sell, may be better imagined than described. DAEGAVILLE'S SPEECHES. Though Dargaville's made many speeches of late, Thfl House would most willingly spare them ; For it finds they possess such remarkable weight That it's really a trouble to bear them. Two gentlemen started playing billiards in the Albert Hotel the other night. One of them rather prided himself en his skill with tha cue, but the other was evidently only a novice. The latter speedily parted with several half-crowns and crowns, but, with the perverse obstinacy of muifs generally, persisted m playing. Then Bill Lyons made a few soft bets on tho amateur, who. also backed himself, and mtht course of a few srames, he improved so rapidly m his play that about Ll2B had changed hands, Mr Roberts being among the principal victims. Lyons made a haul _of about L3O, and the innocent amateur won about L6O out 01 tno s was It subsequently transpired that the amateur was a crack player from *he South. Then the losers used some expressions commonly in use at sea, and swore ott billiards for ever.

'i|e©iwi);tle tke bobbioS^oufia th*e fob'|)i^s, ;J' >:' ' Paced tip an' down wid a sthafcely mien ; They'd got tho tip-'from the Guv'mint whip ' To shut their eye's to the little scone. .The clerks an' flunkies ran about like monkeys — * Ache" big official he put down his quill ; Tho noble peers, tho Colleens, tho dears, Wore all spectathors of tho little mill. Och, tho din ay battle, an' the noise an' rattle, They filled tho Chamber wid a moighty roar — Tho loud resounding, ay tho heavy pounding It shook the building from the roof to, floor — Ould SaniHon's fato by tho Pot was bate, His jawbone wagged wid such wondrous skill, No engine goin' would stand a show in Tho puffs an' blowin' of tho Dargaville. \ Wid Seddon's spachea an' the storm ay aches, Loiko hailstones fallin' on tho Chamber floor — ■ Poor Colonel Trimblo began to thrhnble, An' Dick skeodaddlod through the nonrest door. Till, tired an' winded, the battle inded, Acho gladiathor had got his fill ; Afther all tho jaw it was but a " draw" Betwixt tho Pot an' tho Dargaville. Biddy Mckthy. Chancery Lane.