THE COUNTRY

Observer, Volume 6, Issue 152, 11 August 1883, Page 12

THE COUNTRY

', A-WANTTI.— On the night of the 20th July an attempt was made to act the corn-rack full of corn, belonging, to Mr Subritzky, on fire Salvation Army ■wanted. Victoria settlers cart goods from Awanui on Sunday, and mend roads and. unload the steamer on the same day. KIHIKIHI. — Don't be annoyed, Joe P., if cousin^ pulls first oar ; good fish in the sea as ever" were caught. Truly, Te Awaniutu road is clear there Is Spot afraid that she is likely to lose Mick ? She need not fear ; he thinks too much of Cambridge to go back again. I£aeo.— There h gi-eat indignation felt in a ijerf.pi" uarfcer i n thg pi ace . half-caste ladies bold their puny heads higher than their superiors — blood will show — " You mus'nt call my husband 'Arry, yon must call him Cap'n There is great demand for working boots. Some of our girls have seen the Obsebveb. Wade. — How did Johney enjoy that waltz off the verandah ? Is that bag of maize hatched yet after the long spoon ? Ask the quaker how the scraps went after the dance Albert, the next time you play a concertina take care that there are no cats about What were the Dairy Flat larrikins doing that they let the heiress go to the ball alone ? . Wangantti. — Why is Charley so often at a certain house in Durie Town ? la the tall, dark young lady the attraction? I think it would %c better if R. were to pay some attention to the aermon instead of writing billet-doux to the young ladies of the choir The annual ball of the Alexandra Cavalry is to come off on the 24th instant. I hope there will be no black-balling this year. Whangaboa KTobth. — Young lady, whose father is a bushman : " Oh, • pa,' you should'nt carry meat along the road like the common people, make the butcher bring it." — Poor thing. The professor on astrology has found a new science, viz., why they left the stump when his tail is cut off There is great improvement in the Tonic Sol Fa class since A. L. joined it. !Calk about low notes, he growled so naturally the ladies "screeched." Wanganui. — Why that bashfulness on the part of two of the " Ship's " company to dance the Irish jig? What caused the chairman of the " Starvation Army " to get so excited at the first meeting? was it at his not being elected captain, or too much bad whisky ? Or. S . looks cad since the departure of Clara Who stole the beer at the Liverpool-street dance ? Nellie, a ballroem is not quite the place to smoke cigarettes. Abataptt.— lt is currently reported that Mr 1. is going to lead Miss B. to the altar of Hymen very shortly...... Conspicuous amongst the attendants at the hop on Saturday night was the It is needless to add that he had a Hfree ticket...... Although there are numerous as t© what Hokey's next dodge will they all agree it will be nothing connected HRVith the " dignity of labour^^Kie Booster has ft;eased crowing since his jfl^B on Saturday mm Whangabei. —^Miss^Bff^about to tie the knot.wjtkr-i&r H., of the same locality. She and beautiful ; he was old and ugly. HHPtook her hand and squeezed it tenderly, and HHe put out her tongue at him A certain U^Kung gentleman of Whangarei is meditating HKunging into the sea of matrimony. He says he fourteen to choose from. Lucky fellow that. F*'s health is better since her trip to Mata. — The Westport flirt has left Eaglan. will C. do ? I wonder if S. has got the made of a young lady's hair ? I [Hgear that W. D. is going to stand as a candidate the House What made people spread such HPyarn about A.L. — Oh, what a tangled web we Hwjeave when first we practice to deceive Mr Ru. has returned from Waikato ; ho cannot leave Kme girls What is it that takes H. J., of WaiHtetuna, to Te Eore so often ? mR Panmxtee. — G-eorge is going in for the cook (re) |BbuSines9 WhenK. wishes to bask in A.'s smiles shouloT find a more secluded spot a little from Poet's corner Has F. transferred Hnis affections r or is bashfulness the cause of his BB&ing so distant? The blue ribbon created quite H» sensation at the last danoe Since the cold «et in, Donald and Nelly have left their Hffavourite seat and taken to the cart. Look out,' Hpjutly, you are losing the race, Donald is winning, Fiiard held. K Te Abai. — It is not generally known that J. I brought up the mutton fat, and that S. put it ■ 0n.!.... Someone had a lovely ride from Omaha Blast week; no girls, no whisky, no anything ■jFtur Frank had better not talk so loud about Bthat girl when in the bush ; someone may hear -> ibim Miss M.R. was the belle of the last dance Dancing is considered "bad form" by the elders of this community. They have never tried it ; what do they know about it ? Charlie doesn't want the head, Maggie, only the hat; ;, his head is gone somewhere else Who was ! that gentleman who was ashamed to be seen 7^ carrying a bundle, but pretended he was spearing for gum while on the road to Matakana ? The Oruawharo boys have a dancing class. Ojtehtjnga. — It would suit those young ladies that attend the Presbyterian Church, to think a . little more of the service and put an end to that everlasting tittering We have found out one of the champion mean men of this small township. He buys a Star once a week. A few Saturday's ago he went as usual for it, received j it, and handed forth a half -penny. When taxed by the young man behind the counter about the xnonej, his reply was, " I got it from your father, for a penny." Ahem! Also the champion mean woman. This lady owns sixty acres of land, fifteen head of cattle, and has an income of £100 a year, but lowers herself to pass ofi for a person 'in need, and begs old clothes for herself and . children, as she says. : - - "-PcrKEkoHE. — TedJT. has married the widow ; [ 1 all "stock in trader' taken over,;. Alick is evi|£dently contemplating the same stejw" good girl, if . : - J^&

: Minnie ". ..... Jimmy^what do those frequent visits to the" "'Corner " mean? Is is" to see the "fat man" or the new importation? The "boss" butcher was to be seen on Sunday trying to keep pace with the old piebald. After an exciting struggle the former won (weight will tell), and was rewarded with the brightest of Bmiles The "Worthy Chief" of the 1.0.G-.T. having left the paths of rectitude, was Carol(f)ing down Queen-street when he was attacked by thieves and robbed ; of course he had imbibed nothing but Hop Bitters. Prayers are to be offered up for the speedy return to the fold of the prodigal brother. Moral : Localize your " sugar." WellsPOBD. — It was too bad of Jack to monopolise the belle the whole evening H. M. S. looked yery disappointed, but consoled himself, as usual, with the grass widow H. looked the very picture of misery, standing outside during the dance. He ought to take to dancing again, if he wishes to have Kate all to himself. T.s flirt with the donna didn't come off. J. knew about it, and took steps accordingly Chris was very spooney on that nice little gh'l from Tauhoa j but what would the Riverhead girl say if she knew about it? Did the jam-tarts suit Q-eary, or would he have liked them a little browner? How did Mrs McK. like her ride to Kaiwhaka? Did the grass widow find her shoe the morning after the dance ? \ Daibt Fiat. — Which of the Maggies blackmailed the poor little victim ? Little Frenchy is the champion newsmonger in this place Look out, G-us ! dad is getting a lot of barbed wire What a "come down" — from a royal mail contractor to a common gum prodder ! A great mistake. — Dad knocking down the dummy with a lump of clay, thinking it was Liz Poor Albert was in a sad dilemma at Edmond's party, as the following will tell : — This poor youth's unmentionables were of a very weak texture, so that the slightest extension of the lower limbs would cause a rupture in the above mentioned garment, which made him very uneasy in his mind. After he had sat for a short time beside his dearest, O, horror ! on looking down he saw a considerable amount of a white inner garment (as he thought) projecting beyond bounds ; so he promptly set to work and put it back in its proper place, and up he jumped to look for a partner for the next dance. Fancy his confusion ! it was a part of the dear one's dress. j The " de-odolite " contractors are getting quite fat on nikau at Cooper's Flat. Waikiekie. — The Mangapai Mutual Improvers gave a magic lantern entertainment in the East End School, on the evening of Friday, 21st July, and in defiance of the weather and bad roads there was a very good muster. The notice announced that in connection with the magic lantern entertainment there would be vocal and instrumental music, but the cold southerly wind during the early part of the day must have cooled the musicians' courage, as the singing was very flat. The instruments consisted of one asthmatical concertina, which could not get up wind enough to take its part in the programme. The national anthem being sung, all were preparing to lejyjc, when a gentleman stepped on jtb-e and announced that <isr,o;^fr ti'e3irous of doing the "-frgTit fantastic " would have an opportunity of doing so if they remained. After the room was cleared, the short-winded concertina struck up the soul-inspiring strains of the " Waikiekie war dance," and, oh, ye gods ! 'twas a sight to see them'prance round as they tore up the room. There was a sudden tucking of feet under the seats, and an expression of pain waa seen to pass over the face of any unfortunate that was foolish enough to have his feet exposed The Mesdames L. and B. ought to do their spooning at home. No doubt it ig very nice, but it does not look well in public. Paeboa. — For low, scurrilous slander and scandal of the duskiest type, commend me to a certain section of this community, especially the feminine element. These Billingsgate graduates are everlastingly engaged in the work of picking to pieces the characters of their neighbours, and, with a view to checking this evil propensity, I am sorely tempted to ask your permission to publish the names of a few of the leading scandalmongers It is rumoured that a set of double harness is being manufactured for brother Alfred and the natty little school teacher The grenadier ought to be off with the old love before she is on with the new Wax and the chainman quarrelled about the priority of right to the girl with the lunatic fringe. Don't, Waxy, for Shakespeare says, " that a young man married is a young man marred." It would make the angels weep to see Professor D. endeavouring, with hoof and catgut accompaniment, to develop the vocal powers of the members of the Paeroa Howling Society. Give it up, old man The banker has entered for the harmonium stakes, and will make the pace hot for all comers. Miss P. is to officiate as starter, and will award the prize to the successful competitor...... Rowley, Jack, and Charley swear vengeance against the Obsebteb man. Of course they know it isn't a [ woman. ! Otaiitthtt. — Mick says he is only putting in the winter in Chapel-street, and intends returning to Panmure in the summer. It must be heartbreaking to the poor dressmaker to be humbugged so. Owen is greatly rejoiced over his defeat of the little barman for the hand of the Chapelstreet dot Is it the hermit that attracts the tallow-man to Penrose every alternative Sunday afternoon ? Beware, Bill ! The ganger has forsaken his study of astronomy, and is now studying the art of cooking T. is very melancholy since Nelly's departure for Onehunga. F.s soothing powder is in use Is it true there is an engagement between the young blacksmith of Panmure and the onion 'corner? There is j great rivalry between Q-. and the young barman I for the hand of the little housemaid Who was the young lady that said she could get burnt strings out of her lover's whiskers ? It is too | bad, Mick, to make a fool of the dressmaker so There was a lively scene here the other day. A cow, the property of a BlueRibbonite, behaved in a very eccentric manner, and a gave a very great deal of trouble. When passing the Star Hotel the animal stopped at the door for a drink, and refused to budge. Our local tooth,, extractor mounted his horse, but wag ,

not a sucsess as a stock-driver. The cow was at length got into Mr C.'s yard, whence it walked into the dining-room, and was only ejected with a great deal of trouble. Tattbanoa. — We are blessed with a new Bensation at Gorton. Captain Johnson and Mr I Griffln, who were formerly like Juno's swans, j went to reside as neighbours, and one of them annexed and fenced in what is alleged to be a dead man's acre. This raised the ire of Griffin, who had cast longing eyes on the same acre himself, and considersd that a mean advantage had been taken of his trustful and unsuspicious nature. On the same day both claimants hastily rode over to Grate Pa, each i hoping to forestal the other in payment of rates on the land, and thus secure a title. Then the i public trustee put the land up to tender, and both claimants tendered for it. Now one man | charges the other with annexing his clothes props and throwing them over the fence. Johnson is a perfect fire-eater, and keeps j continually challenging through the papers the prop-stealer "to come in the day time and get satisfaction with costs." Griffin has ploughed up the land, though I believe neither of the disputants has obtained a lease. The Buster keeps up tho excitement by sensational paragraphs about the "agrarian outrage." I believe the following advertisement will be the next outcome of this little quarrel : — "If the faint-hearted individual who grimaced and knot j hia nose and fingers into contemptuous integrity at midnight last night, and then fled in a paroxysm of ' fear before the moon rose, will return during daylight, the ' Ishtanna chicken will dust his hide free of charge." New Plymouth.— Verily there was a sensation in our little town on Monday last. Crowds gathered at the corner, and stood gazing with intense interest at the Masonic Hotel, and whispers were passed among the crowd that an ex-Superintendent of Taranaki had clone a magnificent trade. He had sold the hotel, rotting and tottering as it was to the ground, for the princely sum of £6,000. Such a big transaction had never before been concluded in New Plymouth, and people left their work, shopmen forsook their counters, blacksmiths their anvils, and tailors their stools to come and learn something of the great sale. Interested contractors were already taking measurements for a grand new building, and, indeed, the whole town did nothing but rave over the affair, and what was the upshot ? Why, simply this : The Bank of New Zealand finding their present premises not central enough, bought the Masonic corner for the purpose of erecting a new bank upon it — that's all. In ordinary places no notico would have been taken of the matter further than that tho parties concerned might have a drink over it to wet the bargain. It doesn't take much, however, to raise an earthquake in New Plymouth, some of the people are so excitable. Talking about I corner allotments reminds me that a certain* " father of the settle^'- '■" displayed wonderfial sagacity in his, ? r. lV ; j^^j-^hen the township was first Vr 1 ~";' ' .'r^^TT; years ago. He hit 'upon the idea of picking up all the corner sections, no doubt foraeeing that in years to come they would be valuable. He managed to secure between 50 and 60 of these corners for a j mere song, and he has stuck to them wtth great tenacity ; but at last the tempting offer of [ £6,000 was too much for him, and he succumbed — he actually parted with one of hia corners. If he only intends to part with one corner section every forty years, the old chap moans to have a along life of it Our amateurs are a very hard-working lot, and there is no branch of amusement which their modesty prompts them to refrain from attempting. There is the Phil- ! harmonic Society, which caters for the public a quarterly concert besides a few extra concerts as occasion requires. Taken as a whole, however, they are not a bad lot, and make a fairly good , i attempt at rendering classical music, as the late concert proves. There is, however, the usual amount of jealousy and wrangling among the members as to who should be allotted the solos. Mrs K. is jealous of Miss C, and so forth, till at last Mr Forrest is nearly driven frantic. The bolos are not given to the best vocalists, oh, dear, no ! but to those who possess the most influence, no matter how cracked and tin-kettle-like their voices may be. The late concert would have been, I consider, an undoubted success if two or three that came to the front had been assigned a back seat. I believe one young lady, after making the most atrocious attempt at singing I ever heard, went back to her seat and complained bitterly that she did not receive an encore. I often admire the great taste shown by the local press in criticising their entertainments. Everything is first.-class according to their accounts, and if there is anything really too bad, they forget to mention it. lam nob surprised at this ; New Plymouth is such a small place, and the people here have got mixed up by intermarriage, etc., that everybody are relatives of everybody, either by blood or marriage, and it would never do to speak out one's mind What a deplorable state of ignorance the majority of our young men are growing up in ; they appear to think of nothing but billiards and cards, and our young bank swells, sons of well-to-do people, could surely be better employed than hanging about the pubs, every mght. Could not M.., of the Young Men's Christian Association lead these black sheep into the right path and instruct them in the sciences ? or could not the Chairman of the Harbour Board fill up an hour or so in the evening once a week instructing them in Darwin's theory of evolution ? Anything would be better than the present company they keep Would it uot have been better for the gallant Major to have settled that case of boy-beating out of Court, rather than place himself in the awkward position of being defendant in a case of assault ? It is evident that the reign of terror in New Plymouth is drawing to a close, and the power of the proud aristocracy is gone. A poor mailman now get justice, as witness, the substantial fine that was meted out in this case,. The E.M. proved himself to be above tho influence of the " inner, circle " when he mulcted one of their number in a fine of £5 and costs for thrashing a boy with a walking-stick. The Major had, undoubtedly, a certain amount of provocation, but he was too hasty, and went the wrong way to seek to redress his grievance.