THAMES TITTLE TATTLE

Observer, Volume 6, Issue 146, 30 June 1883, Page 229

THAMES TITTLE TATTLE

*-v '"'. . : — * : —^AIOKONGOMAI. — Another marriage in high "life is aboui)M;o take place here between one of the great funs of Italy ai?d the Hostess of the Premier de Huta. hope you enjoyed your up-hill walk last Sunday, Nora. L.What in the world\has befel W. O. G., of Te Aroba, - that he has turned in\and_got sick since the hammer and gad whopper made -!vs appearance in the town more •regularly ? "Your time to\be plucky, 8.... D0n't Miss F. «njoy her spoon when shes^spends to tbe top of the gin case to take a. hearty glanc'ie at her six feet four high •times F. ?.;.'... Paddy IT., the v - Benedict prospector, was "busy here last week. Rumou^V say's he has pegged out the High School Reserve for\gold mining.... ..Wanted jtnowii— Who pullc;! .1. song's'^, pegs \tp ?.. .Shame on you, -Jarcft O. S., to jilt poor H. .Y> after as long as he lived the %rurit 1 "* ■ .. ./--.pf^i^^^rljs^vjisented people on .the face ..Of tSfeJ"^- ■'%is:.£fl~'Tl3 i» in C 3 people are the most un- . leasor^Br 'Last summer I sailed down Mia beuatiful Waihoiwom Te Aroha on the P. S. Patiki, ilhd landed at Koplr whavf . Walking along, what should bring jie tcx_ a, sudden halt Tmt a. board confounding me with the Startling nisnosyable, ." stop !" I stopped, and again I perceived in smaller letters, "wait for the engine." I j "waited, but not for long.for, creeping cautiously up, I saw f"" that as yet there were no rails laid down, and judged I ' might have to " wait " loiig enough for the engine ; and when Tj reflected that here was a railway complete in -every respect, barring only the rails and the engine-car-riages, &c, I could not help thinking how, discontented and. unreasonable those people wore to grumble at having no railway when they have got one all but. And, now, "when I visit them again in winter, I find them grumbling •ugain because their roads arc impassable- Have they not a County Council with offices in Mary-street, and a -chairman, and officers, and taxes to pay everything but -the roads P and cau they say their rates are miaapxilied ■when they look on the jovial condition of these officers ? cannot they wait patiently at home until summer comes, and the. air is warm and the ground dry ? and then, no .tloubtf'tbe'County Council will send forth their officers , to enquire into, if not to rectify, the state of the roads. ...... Ted was very spooney with the Spanish lass at the Engineer daiice last week. What does it mean, Ted ?... ...Why does Bob P. carry clothes pegs in his pocket? I)oes he "take in washing? Miss S. looked quite •iChamning mounted on that white charger, coming from Kivi Kiri... ...George S: is about to lead~the fair Miss R. to the hymeneal altar Who is that young man who .'.fceeps watch at. the Doctor's gate of an evening? It won'j; do,. George Why docs Wihefred, of the Karaka, lopk so forlorn lately ? What makes Frank M. look so sad? Is it because Bella has given him his congo? A inarrittge has been arranged between McL. and Miss "Hjpf the .Moahatairi Creek Andrew, of the Karaka, h^is locking for a partner. Will no one take pity on him ?... ' Popi*; L.W. is disconsolate since Andrew left -for Te^Ai'oha Two or three sparks were chaffing ..Norman, the other evening about his flirtations with ; Martha^; ?|Nornian says she is too old If Harry •swishes to^ress the pretty hew chum, he should choose ■a less conspi.cuons spot than the Shortland cemetery.... The " soun&.sense and judgment " (Latin combined,) of Tat's letterftcrthe " Twinkler*'- should be sufficient to convince thepublic of his innocence re the stabling up *• {business) .It is a sight to see G., the music teacher, going about;' at liight-with a shawl wrapped around him. . . Wonder if Sandy' would make one for a game of crib ?... , Jack was greatly disappointed at not being mentioned -in the Observer, "rf his superb dancing. ..At the Blue ' Bibbon Army meeting .one young man signed the pledge five times.. ..Who were those young fellows amusing themselves at the. Academy, on Tuesday evening, by -throwing pieces of orange rind about the pit?.. . The • committee of the Engineer dance have at last gone to r .\ the .expense of having the hall lit up with gas,.. "George •-''•■'■" Mi; -the gallant young draper, goes to Parawai "just cfor exercise, you know". ..How often has Jim " done the Block "during the last, three years ?...." Little and good." is Jlinduiaßter Mo'yle's. 3lott-0....The Queen's Variety Tivfce is about to give a benefit performance. . . . A -very enttß^? bill of fare is promised. . . .The captain of ; ■ the karbouwoarge thinks himself above collecting fees. He ought to be promoted to another steamer. He's far 1 too good for the billet. Innocent, the lfirrikins say.... 'The Benevolent ladies say they don't know how the jmoney goes. Ask the doctor's wife....W.W., the old -V "Pollen-street- humbug, says the Thames- will now see IP ; \vhat Cadnian is good for. Protecting the natives' — n -oysters,.. vCarrie, says that she wns not spooning with : JlcL. at the dance, although she admits that she was interested in the life of Dr Beecher.i.AYho :$s the y'ouug lady that Jim McL. nightly escorts from -/the dress-making ? Such a nice, sensible young girl, : -ihoo.... Has- Eliza got enough apples to make a tart for ..' 'JBob? or, is she waiting, to make so u»e more?... What -, .'■ takes the rising young auctioneer to Parawai' so often ? ': ,Jtfs a long walk this weather, Jim. 1 ;■ ,■/;' .—Three hundred have joined the local branch '..of the Blue. Ribbon Army The ist. George's Q.A, '■ i dance 'oii- July sth. promises to be a great success..;.,, ;' The Maori King is expected to arrive nt the Thames «exb'<yreekJ Now, then, "Darkie."......Who were the , ybut&s torturing Pollen-street residents with bad con-•-;:''*<jWtii>a'nndaccordiau solos last week? "Army" ;/^i : SWihiusiaß'tjp .nrennjpatient for a visit from a detachment i; Ji oftbe ;Ai»ckland,Su.lvation'Army, Take meroy on them, . :'■ -Bomo'dl '••;j!e'-'*'.oaptain8."'... 1 ...1n- spite, of tho rain, last : < Sunday : iigUfck} couple were Bp/)oning at a gate on t-JHock 27. i They must, be fond of it.... ..Ted W. evidently 'A- fancies himsW.! an ideal cabby, by the way he handles

the ribbons. All fancy, Teddy deairl : . . . ITBo ,<y^jiite^! " Vegetable " is sending 1 forth shoots on His : upper lip. ~Keep»'em.>pruned-..i-;j.G-i S.-has -had-vshaye; and is' now; 1 ! so like his brother" that henceforth they "witt' be "known" as the " Greasy Twins. "... Tommy ,W. ought to exercise his right as guardian over his young nephew, aud prevent his smoking, or it will stop his growth' Those present' at the St. George's Q.A: dance, intend "discovering who is the Observer correspondent there. 1 Do they? We'll see Tbe members of the Bachelors' Club have donned the blue — no, the white ribbon. Sign — Innocents abroad; and,- oh dear, what-nninno-cent, set they are! .Was 'the carpenter on the warpath last Wednesday, that he was hawking about that small tree? A greasy smile illuminated Ikey Dan's phizog. on reading. the contradictory par. last week C. Mcli. looks mournful since the fair Agnes took passage by the Roto. Cheer up, Bljic. ; don't despair, but seek solace in the Choral Society...!. . Who is the tall baker lately enrolled as a member of the Bachelors' Club ? Of a truth and verity, he is a perpetual sneezer. Dann's handsome turner wishes it to be distinctly understood that he is' no relation of the Turner of, canine celebrity It would, look- better for that Ribbon-man to take off that " bit o' blue " before entering a pub. for his luncheon pint every day; How very edifying it must be to the residents near, the Parawai school to have that gang.pf larrikins. practising "skin-,, and-hair" business every Sunday on" the school horizontal bar, .etc. . These would-be gymnasts (judging" from the row they make) 'are possessed of pretty, good lungs and a choice set of adjectives^ which may be classed forcible. It is time the authorities interfered..!'... Messrs Stanfield and Dark were a failure at thejt Thames. The first night a fair house was obtained, btf! although tho various items on the programme ' w'el|p' played with great spirit, they fell flat. The secoii'cP night only about fifty were in the. house, and the third night they failed to secure an audience. Had they arrived before IVlaccabe the result would have been totally different The entertainment in St. George's on the 21st iust., in aid of the library siund of the Kauaeran£a ' Girls' School, passed off successfully The St. George's choir are to be hisrhly coniplimented on their excellent rendering of tho several items oC the organ recital programme on Wednesday last.. ....Last Sunday was a dismal day— oh ! yes — an utterly-utter miserable day— every body knows that ; but I don^t think everybody fcnows that W. M. and Miss W. were doing a desperate spoon for an hour mid a-half in a Pollen-Street shop doorway in the evening. If lam forced to witness many more spooning matches, I really think I shall have to get a girl myself. Will anyone have me? What is the rumour about a Parawoi •' jam tart " refusing, an invitation for the farewell dance to Freddy Baunie, because his barber had been invited ? This smacks of Ah Lum (Chinese) Lorlw-ism. ' Truly I must investigate.. ..Everybody acquainted with Parawai knows .that, at the corner of a Chinese gardetierts • fence stands a willow tree. Well, under "the Spreading branches a loving couple are wont to sit and tell the old, old story. Here they sat last Thursday ■ evening, and,- clasped in each others arms, amid a" shower of — well, =/ not kicks, vowed the usual long rigmarole of [undying love, true till death, life's only object, etc., etc., all unconscious of a spectator of the hoodlum .species hid, among- the branches. ,-This youth's talent, when reciting the drama' to a select audience of brother hoodlums, was remarkable. The loving couple will sit there no more... .The race of fools is evidently not extinct, as • the Thames possesses a few of these wonderful creatures. Among them, io one who received a few weeks ago a d.arh nick-name, which was a sore rub to his inflated vanity. This he was becoming slightly reconciled to, when on 'last' week's Observer arriving, it was seen that a correspondent was informing him through the tittle-tattle, that he should not throw certain edibles, dear to all Irishmen, at juvenile female New Zealauders. There was nothing in the par. but a gentle take off j yet this fascinating fellow (only in his own estimation, mind) cut up as rough as if he had been charged with a criminal offence, and fretted, fnmed, slandered, and forcibly rowed all sorts of vengeance on the writer. Hearing that he was greatly riled at the amount of chaff he got from customers he had to attend to, I ventured in and bought — well, some potatoes, and was surprised to find him so ignorant as not to see it .was only a joke. Being interested, and some of his remarks deserving censwre, I played detective, and 'ferreted out a little about it. After closing on Saturday night he sought out a companion of his, who is suspected of being the Observer man, and, in anything but a manly way (but what could you expect from him), charged him with writing it. This his friend denied, and truthfully too, and ampngst other remains, said the par. was only a jo?:e, and'advising him to take it coolly, or he would be "potted" again. Alas! for that friend's advice, he was' already "potted." But the conceited one's suspicions were not quieted, and high words followed, the interview almost ending in blows. A word of advice to this would-be aristocrat : lieara. to take a jbfce ;_ don't fancy yourself above everybody else ; do not be evil-minded and mafee harm out of innocent matters ; and, above all, when you want to curse the Observer man, tafco a country wall: by yourself or else he will be forced to- defend himsolf with his small but pointed weapon— tbe pen. [Mr Win. Short writes to ask a denial of an accusation by his friends that he is the Thames Tittletattler. We do not hesitate to oblige him, because he is not the correspondent. — Ed.]

1 The fieey -haired clerk might be more civil to strangers seeking information about the passage to the Springs. On Monday next the Opera House will reopen with. Mr Rainer's ever- welcome Diorama of the now world-famed American War ; and as the usual gifts will he given away, a good audience is a certainty.