THE MASHER CAME DOWN—VERY MUCH.

Observer, Volume 6, Issue 146, 30 June 1883, Page 236

THE MASHER CAME DOWN— VERY MUCH.

(How A Ceiebrated Masheh of Qduen-stkeht wekt out of Business.) ■ The masher came down like a wolf on the fold, And the chain on his vest was of Brummagem gold, And the paste studs he wore were like stars in the sky. And his celluloid dog-collar rose stiff and high. With a fatuous leer in his dull, fishy eye. The masher winked slyly at girls who passed by — But he made a mistake when, with wink and with leer, He " mashed" up a lady whose husband was near. Por the husband in wrath, seized the masher's form quick And belaboured his shoulders with well-wielded stick ; And the voice of the masher was lond in its wail, And he, quick as he could, gave the husband "leg-bail." "With bis dog-collar torn, and his whole body Bore, He stayed not to breathe till he reached his own door • And he sought his own room, and he solemnly swore ' That if mashing brought thrashing, he'd never •-♦ mash" more. A most extraordinary miscarriage of justice occurred in the proceedings taken by Messrs Garrett Bros., against two boys in the Police Court;. They were detected in the act of thof t, confessed their guilt, one of them in the presence of five persons, including a detective and two constables, and moreover, that these robberies had been systematio and of long duration. 'iTh'ev accused, pleaded guilty at the Police CourtLbut, ' vfoifchout taking evidence, tho K.M., dismiQsod the case. ,;SJSBpL a course is actually offering a premium to crime, ffisffr ;wiU deter employers and others who suffer by TS&ty^f&fef t from prosecuting. Tlie rule will be to compound f efenies, and save waste of time.

The death during the past week of jsljm&tiwfx distinguished, venerable, aud *universally*tfei&peo I te'i£ Christian missionaries, the Key. J. Hobbs and the Bey TCfififiattT 'BMaieT-leavel : two r '"more' gaps -'in tneTastdhninishihg ranks of those veteran colonists who have borne the .heat and burden .of $he day 1 in'thetfdrefronti of Christianity and civilisation.^ It must,- however, be a .source of deep heart-iliahkfulnes's and consolation to 'their numerous friends, relatives, and many others who have benefited by their humble ministrations and unostentatious zeal, that they died full of years and honour, rejoicing in the consciousness of a noble past and the hope of a glorious future, and surrounded by a numorous circle of prosperous relatives and grateful •friends. Up to the last they were zealous in their Master's work, aiid though enfeebled by long and arduous labours in the vineyard, ; were still able 'to* reader service.'' The'great concourse of mourners, who followed the remains of the Roy. John. Hobb's,! testified eloquently to the' high estimation and love in which he was held, and the discourse delivered by, his coteinporary and fellow-labourer of 46 years standing, the Rev. Mr Wallis, was another eloquent testimony to the worth of thte departed as; a man, a citizen, and a Chris* tian. ' , ' . .

i SCENE IN POUCH QTTAKTERS^,,^ ; With troubled brow and looks of gloom"' '-<-, , ■ He came into the A.C. room, ... ; His solemn face unwashed, unshorn, His garments hanging lpose and torn ; ; Bald patches that the spots betrayed i Where rutVless female hands had Btrayed. , . He showed his gory wounds and scars— , Sad remnants of domestic jars— ' - And waved aloft the fatal stick, ! So hard and ponderous and thick, ■ Mis vengeful spouse had erstwhile seized, 'I And with swift blows her wrath appeased., Small sympathy for him, I ween, " ' ' In those stern-featured men was seen — Too long ianred'to tales ofr-woe, ,■ ' And wounds that injured husbands show. . Unmoved they heard his sad refrain, • And merely muttered, " Tight" again I" In vain his dolorous sighs and tears He pleaded to unheeding ears'; % He t6ldthe'tale of his disaster ; ' i . „ • They only murmured, " Sticking-i>laster !" O£ death he stood, he said, in fear : The man in charge said, " Knock oil beer if • And sadlj'. from the scene he stole, To drown his sorrows in the bowl.

Mr Shortt's Arfc, ; Union took placo at the Opera Hoase on Thursday.' evening, in the presence of 300 people. Mr S. came forward to tha footlights, and, addressing the audience, said :— Ladies and Gentlemen. — Many of, you have, doubtless, nover seen an art union drawn ; I will, therefore, with your permission, explain the msdus operandi. But, first, I must take the opportunity of thanking you for the very liberal manner in which you bought up the tickets. It shows, to my mind, that the people of Auckland thoroughly anpreoiate the flue arts, and proves that an amount of'refinement exigts in the community which is unknown in other parts of the Colony. The method was then explained, and the drawing took place, to the entire satisfaction of the audience — Colonel Hozier, late Scots Greys, being the winner. We coin mend Mr Shortt's tact. Flattery, acts like a salve with the majority of people. The Pakuranga Hunt held a meet on Mr Gray's farm, Papatoitoi, on Saturday last, when there was an excellent master, the .weather being all that could be desired for sport.. About noon Tom Brown appeared with the harriers, and after a few minutes a hare was started in one of the paddocks, tile harriers making their first kill after a grand, hunt lasting nearly two hours. The sport was brought to a close at halfpast four. Among the fair sex present, were Mrs Waterhouse, on Butcher Boy, Mrs Stevenson, on Forest, Mrs Wallace, and Miss Niccol. Among the gentlemen who followed tlie hounds wore :— His Worship the Mayor on Don Juan ; the Master, Mr McLaughlin, on Nimrod • Mr Percival, on St. Swithin.; Mr Waterhouse, on Harlequin; MrLushington.onTearAwdy; MrToin Halstead on Tricotrin : Mr Tonks, on Greyhound ; Colonel Dawson, on Derreok ; Mr Shera, on Sir Wolseley ; Mr Dunnett, on Ghost ; Mr Gardiner, on Don ; Mr Laxon, and Masters Biickland, Edgar, and Walmesley, on General, Evening Star, and Micky Free respectively, and Messrs Wallace, H. Smith, Patterson, Williamson, Gray, and Major Shepherd.

The Finakciai Statement.— There was only a moderate attendance in tlie Ladies' Gallery during the delivery of tlie Financial Statement, but there wns considerable sensation when the Colonial Treasurer referred to the large amount of revenue derived from the consumption of lollies, and announced the intention of the Government to introduce a new Tariff Bill with, the object of increasing th« duty on stick- jaw* ■

Ll&<.?sfHM l^f c co P Bult *tion promoter, writes e*t, UB lfl * eferen °c; to a paragraph in. our issue of May .gji,,.iefl«ti)ig. upon -his; mode;of*^oridUotißg sweeps, He sara-that after his firßt.event, in whidh; the shares 'S- 6r t -?* ? hl U i »Sß*ibe more than trebled his advertising. •^elias oeen sixteen yeara,m the ebonies: and sojourned for.vanouu periods -in. all'thepiScipaFtowns in New Zealand except Auckland, has been in business for the last five years in Dunedin; and during the latter half of that petiod has been incommunication with upwards of a - hundred Btranfera daily. He attributes the success of : his second Bwefep : to extensive .adyerfcising, and we may, take leave to add that all men who aro successful in any class of business cannot but asoribe the result to any other cause.' The man who does not advertise his business m tbese days,, reawnbles a person who uses a two-horse-power engine to drive a machine which requires a fortyrhorse-power one. " Sinbad " informs us; moreover, that he now advertises in 26 different papers (more power to him). From " Sinbad's " letter we have every reason to believe that he is actuated by a spirit of lona fides, though he is mistaken in the source from ess fiSissfttra^ r^** * hat appeared , The pedagogue dismissed Ms school, ' Descended from hjs lofty stool, And round the corner Blyly stole, To wet his whistle in the bowl. What made him lengthen out his jaws ? "What made the old man start and pause ? ... , What spectre saw the tericher there, ■TMtf-oaused that look of dark despair ...TJpoh his'faqe ? "What made him sigh, S . ••; And glance around with troubled eye? t ' Ala's. I a- sight to'be deplored— - « A leadin'gmcmbers>fthe Board * Was whispering in the. Hebe' s ear, z . And drinking Bass's bottled beer. ■ "■ ' "He saw them t wain exchange a kiss, And fled from that abode'bf bliss : Went round the -corner wi»h a jump, And wet his whistle at the pump ! A striking example of om^a! meanness has come to our knowledge. It will be>-'r"femembered that in tho post mortem examination on the'reintfins of the ill-fated Hamilton, which was made at.th.c request of the police, ,Di? Goldsbro.'/Wae assisted by Dig Dsjjvson and Walker. ,-Fov -obvious reasons it was (necessary that the best skill should be brought'fo tear in the case, aad ■.from the condition of the remains:' iihe post •.mortem examination" was very tryinsy and : unpi6jiisant. In fact, we . believe that some of the medical^men, were actually rendered ill by' the ordeal they"liad|to go through. Dr Walker; who had received his .iistrucfcLons from the police, sent in his account based'oS the customary scale ;of fees;, and .the bill was passed dn'by Mr Superintendent Thomson. After an interval' df months, the account • remained unsettled, , and upon making inquiry Dr Walker learned' to hiß,"astonishment that the Government declined to pay." This'is about the measliest piece of sfficial cheese-paring that we have ever heard of. If .the,Governmefetimagin*e r they can induce medical men ,toi<'sacrifice their professional time and talents to the neglect of othev^paticnts, out of mere sentiment, they jure wpef uUy-mistaken, and will find in any future case of 'tho kind, that they will be placed in an awkward dilemma. "' '* • OBSERVATIONS OP THE REV..GABE TUCKER. You may notch it on de paling as a mighty risky plan To make your judgment by de clothes that kivers up a man; For I hardly needs to tell you how you often come across A fifty-dollar saddle ori a twenty -dollar 'hbas;'. : An", wukin' in de low groun's, you diskivcr as you go, Dat de fines' shuck' may hide the meaneg' nubbin, in a row. I t'ink a man has got a mighty slender chance for Hebon Dat holds ou to his piety but one day out of aeben ; Dat talks about de sinner with a heap of solemn chat, An' nebber drops a nickle in de missionary hat ; Dats foremost in da ineetin' -house for raising ;ajl de* i , chimes, . . ' „.■■.. . ? ; / But lays aside his 'ligion wid his Sunday' liautnloons. * I uebber judge o' people dat I meets along de way ■ By de places whar dey comos from and de houses whar day stay ; For de bantam chicken's awful fond o' roostin' pretty high, . . iA.n' de turkey-buzzard sails above de eagle in de sky»,; n Dey ketches little ininners in de middle ob de sea ' ' : An' you finds de smalles' possum up de biggest kind o' tree. The annual ceremony of installing officers for the Masonic Lodge, United Service, 1.C., took place last Wednesday at tho Freemasons' Hall, a large attendance of the fraternity being present, as well as the District Grand Lodge, under the D.D.G.M. (Brother LodderJ. Brother P. M. Suiter officiated as installing master in a most efficient manner. The following officers were in-stalled:-J. Seabrook, W.M.; J. Rule, 1.P.M.; W. G. Allen, S.W.; R. Flatt, J.W.; F. Roycroft, treasurer ; W. J. Melton, secretary: J. Goodacre, chaplain: E. Pollard, S.l\; W. Craig, J.D.; T. W. Allen, 1.G.; Tonge, tyler ; W. J. Suiter, lecturer ; Harling and Middloton, stewards. After the installation had taken place, Bro. P.M. Rees, acting for the P.S.M. (Bro. Pierce), presented Bro. P.M. Suiter with a P.M.'s jewel, and, in doing so, Bro. Rees spoke of Bro. Suiter's qualities as a Mason in very eulogistic terms, to which Bro. Suiter replied, thanking the lodge for the niark of honour and esteem conferred, on him. After the ceremony a ball took place in the lower Masonic Hall, a very large attendance being present, who thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Bro. Thos. McEwea provided refreshments giving satisfaction to everyone. To say who looked best in the ball room would be invidious, as everyone looked their best. The following are a few of the dresses worn : — Miss Slator, white sateen trimmings, white laco ; Miss Craig, pink velvet ; Miss Pearce, from North Shore, looked very nice in slate aiVc, trimmed with brocade and cream lace ; Miss Browning, pale pinfc sfcirt, with maroon velvet bodice j Miss Lodder, cream sateen and lace, with cardinal satin over sWrt ; Mrs Kidd, black cashmere, handsomely trimmed with bugles ; Mrs Hulme, hauclsome brown silk ; Miss Hulme, pink satin, handsomely trimmed — and this young lady divided the honours with Miss Slator; Mrs Dallen,, black silk, cardinal trimmings : ■ Mrs Kelly, slate silk, with cardinal