THE COUNTRY

Observer, Volume 6, Issue 142, 2 June 1883, Page 170

THE COUNTRY

r.WAlpEttKeOMil.—"Why does the knight of the Vbleayer attempt to cheat the girl out of her money ? did those trustees succeed in bullying ■jthe -woman into paying the money on that cheque ? r';./A..Where was Mick White when the girl was '■\crying out for help ?

■ Hotba Nobth. —It was rather too bad of old Jeffs to do the girl out of her half-week Wβ see that farming is a failure, and Albert has a great fancy for graves, etc The very Small irian has small attraction at the aria, " Never give in."

Mobbikstiile.—Harry says he does not feel like the same man since he went through the operation of shaving The young men here are not very gallant to leave that young lady at the Phoenix Hotel go out walking alone Mrs T. may be seen walking the fields now daily with a pig, cat, and dog following her. What does it mean?., :

Cobokandel.—There was a paragraph in a recent issue of the Obsebyeb, which contained some inuendos against three ex-military men here. Of course, you were not to blame for inserting it, as the sting was so cunningly veiled that it was not possible to detect it. However, I think I can guess the writer, and I may tell you not only was the attack dictated by spite, but he is a person whose opinion carries no weight here, and the persons affected bj the paragraph are held in the highest esteem in the community. . Cambbidgb.—How proud T. W. is of his manly form When anything flattering to Tommy appears in the Obsebteb, the general opinion is •shat he writes it himself £and the general opinion is erroneous.—Ed Obs.] In the race for Miss it., the betting is 4 to 6 on Davie against B. T.

.....jHow did old Mac manage the Colonel so as to get to Hamilton for a week's shooting? Who was the dusky maiden that "The Slab" was parading up and down Queen-atreet ? What were the Major and 0. doing with those Maori girls in the National ? C. was very useful at the English Church Bazaar in showing off the babies' underclothing to advantage.

KiHixiHl. —T. H. is broken : hearted since Bella has thrown, him up. She has cast her affections upon J. M., but M. M. declines the h0n0r......Wh0 is the toucher who makes it aT practice to prowl round Kihikihi, picking up scandals and listening at key -holes ear that all the girls agree that H. W. is one of those sheepish fellows who can talk of nothing but the weather to the girls J. M. and S. H. have all the running to themselves now The trio, better known,as the Three Musketeers, are at last parted, and Kihikihi will see G-. P. M. no more. Short as was his stay, I am sure he has taken away .with him sweet memories and feelings which will take many a day to eradicate.

3?iiAT BxrsH.—Those interested, who heard of the Wood Nyrnph'e wedding, thought it was a hoax. Many were the congratulations. No cards, ,no cake, and no tin-cans How disappointed ■ Fiddler was when that cart picked up his lady 'companions A survivor of the 40th Regiment has been converted, and joined the Salvation .Army. Previous to this, he threatened to shout rum for a Blue Eibbonite, who swore before the \ congregation The pipe and tobacco regime is . not in vogue since the female convertees came about Who is that young lady who wears the professor's dog chain at the convertees , meetings ? ■ W. T>. will have to give up dancing, now he has taken the blue ribbon J. P. has taken to smoking ; he says it will mend a broken heart. Te Koptott.—The Kopuru Jrould prove a grand field for the Blue Bibbonites to work upon. "A.few charming sistera of the army could work Van inestimable amount of good Which of those tall 'uns was it who was gesticulating wildly and ■ passionately declaring to the fair Mary that his heart had been pierced by her charms - . A public wharf, and a small one at that, is hardly the correct place for such scenes Did not those two fashionable young ladies show bad taste, Waltzing together at the late ball, when a score of adjoining bachelors were eager to secure them as partners? The art of swimming has reigned predominant during the last week. The late fresh caused the immersion of many aspiring rafters. . However, dear boys, " cleanliness is next to godliness," and water will hurt no man.

..-.' Kaipaba (Toka Tapu).—Fancy our buslimen i still paying their addresses to the Te Pahi young ladies. Fortunately the tide comes in so frequently ; otherwise, the paths made on the beach . might result in some fatal consequence. It's ■time they should give it up, to save themselves - from getting adhered to the mud Miss A. feels quite disheartened to hear that E.. is going to .! town with matrimony in his head Why is J. •"', so delighted ? Is it because his rival is leaving ? ......O. had better look out for his eyes since he called nextdoor; the right claimant may put in • an .unexpected appearance How disastrous • that we cannot bring back all our lost sheep to their fold. Is it the weight of love, or the weight of logging, Llijtfc makes H. and W. look so discofifviccc^Y.vr.- Vj;> ; > r; < *h.e stores used so quickly ? i≤ it to see tJLe i.- ' :u'»"iV!il3 ? ' . '■■ Te .Air and concert,held here on the 24th, -*&* a &a*: The spacious ; hallwa's tastefully (beorafcgd by Miss Clark and ;> two of-heir TJbames lady frionas. Some 200 or 300 '.' persons sat down to tea, enJ. from way that vbeautiful,beverage yamslud. I snt , . s '' , '- 1, think we fouiid a second McOovan, C'iutfmiag faces /.and lovely toilettes were the order of tt-:...ow , juiig. ■'. Vocal talent from the Thames was by '/Miss Ferguson and Miss Brown. Mi*-., ~S- i ' all '.that.6ian.be desired, both in appearance v ? " . dresSj.and her voice 4s only to be compared tv that of the Mayis. Miss F.s performance was a Vim&gnificent effort, which must have taxed her 1 strength*isev.erely; and when called forw.ard at the.end of her song, she would have fallen from : ;Sheer,Wh&ustion had she not been caught by H., -rwhoistood , beside her. *' I'll baqk again" is a sweet little song, but, Harry, you,.murdered, /■s/£,in fact j' we all .wished you' would wander back ,'to W.aiorongomai, and n,pt to, the stage,.;'lt;would j "be assort of, kindness to, leaye the■• Waitoa; performer uhna'iiigdi Miss Clark.pjtayeebthe , different

Variety, expected, brought down the house;; By-theibye, she was awfully pretty in black velvet, trimmed with satin of the same colour.

Otahtthtt.—Our local saddler has speculated in one of Gt-oldie's collarless poodles L. 3j. caused some amusement at the billiard match on Wednesday night, for which he was awarded three groans Ask John and Arthur how they enjoyed the refreshments provided for the singers? Were their pockets large enough? What attracts our local cabinetmaker to the Elat Bush so often ? Is it the Blue Ribbonists, or Miss 8,?... ...Has Annie; of Poet's corner fame, added the scalp of the carpenter to her wampum belt ? Beware, Tom, she is fooling thee ! There is great rivalry between the tallow man and the ganger for the hand of the Criterion cook There is lilcely to be another case of Hyland and Biggar enacted here shortly, the plaintiff being the daughter of a well-to-do farmer; and the defendant, an up-country hofcelkeeper. Damages are to be laid at £500. Who is the Papatoitoian that sits on the monument and sings, "Sweet Alice, where art thou ?"

jNGttEWOOD.—The new Public Hall was opened with a musical soiree interspersed with some very good readings. It would be out of place to individualise any of the performers, but I can not allow the following to go without remark : —Mr Franklin was immense in his reading. " Nothing to wear," his look of contempt at his wife having only a couple of dozen dresses to wear was a study for an artist. Mrs Diamond sang " Chime on beautiful bells" very well indeed. Mrs Surry read one of Mrs Candle's lectures, and was quite at home at it; oh! dear pity her " Hubby." Miss Matthews is a very classical looking young lady, especially so when accompanying Mr Stevens in "Simon the Cellarer." The two Carters were very good in their comic songs. H. T. Marsh was rather nervous at first. Why did he rivet his gaze on the piano instead of his audience ? Had the fair pianist anything to do with it? The local baker fairly brought down the house on Tommy's birthday. The two Miss Drakis played a duet with very great taste and feeling. After the concert the seats were all cleared out, and the merry dance was kept up till Sol shed his says on the happy couples, when all went home eyidently well pleased with their night's entertainment. Mottn't Eden.—The newly-fledged Governor of Coventry (Mount Eden), has received a werry lfb&'al education, judging from his pronunciation of Lindlej Murray. On parade, the other day, in a pompous and la-de-da style, he informed "3?he Broad Arrowe Bucket Brigade" that he Iheld in his harfft a proclamatioii&igned by his Excellency ; and, on he said, " Now make your ' excite, , " not for he must have been excited. Many of his subordinates are well educated, well read, and well-informed; and under these circumstances, it is infra dig to be bossed by one who is not superior The latest fad of the Great Mogul, Mount Eden, is, "Officers off duty should be in their private houses at 10 p.m." You knowjthis is done in Canterbury. But ib won't do here, governor, so say all of us, m number 22 What does the gaoler at Mount Eden mean by taking away the keys of the celk from the officer who does night watchman's duty, and giving them in charge to the superior officer on duty, who sleeps in the officers' quarters, a good distance from the said cells ? Also, the keys are locked up by this superior in a safe, and the key retained in his charge when asleep. In the event of a fire, look at the loss and waste of valuable time and the lives that would be sacrificed by a fad of the gaoler's. In the much-respected M. O'Brien's days, when the officer on nightwatch had charge of the keys, a fire occurred, and was put out before the gaoler was aware of the fact. This cannot be an order from the Inspector of Prisons (Capt. Hume). There are some 200 lives in a very, very critical position.