LUCUBRATIONS BY OUR AESTHETE.

Observer, Volume 6, Issue 141, 26 May 1883, Page 153

LUCUBRATIONS BY OUR AESTHETE.

■ «. - Your JEsthete hath a weakness for those quaintly worded and quaintly expressed old stories, which, to him, are even as the dew of Hermon after the matter-of-fact modern styles of bold descriptive writing. Take the thunderous language of Carlyle ; the bald meddled-with-by-everybody lovemaking of Trollope ; the monotonous reduplication of James ; the fervid eloquence of Lytton ; the unutterable palpitability of most modern lady-writers ; the raw-head-and-bloody-boneism of most modern novels ; the criminal lore of the penny dreadful : the metaphysics of the German, and the physiologies of the French schools of philosophic story-writers ; the nastiness j of Ouida, Besant and Co. ; in a word, take all or any of the million-and-one yarn concocters, and having read a few chapters, turn to the quaint j old faerie stories of ye olden time, or the equally quaint scriptural style of telling a story, and if any of my readers are likeminded unto myself, that dew of Hermon business will be reduplicated on their mental organisation fevered with the high pressure of modern literature. To illustrate his meaning more thoroughly, your assthete will give you a chapter out of the unpublished chronicles of Gotham, told in that diffuse yet concentrated style in which the chronicles of ye olden time were wont to be written : — " Once upon a time some wise men of the city of Gj-otham were moved in spirit to put to sea in a bowl, and they did see things of wondrous and strange device, even behemoths and leviathans ; and did even as those who go down to the sea in ships. And it came to pass that a great wind arose, and they were driven before it, and their hearts failed them for grea"t fear, and their souls yearned for the calm safety of the classic glades at Gotham. And after many days they were cast ashore on an unknown land, which seemed fair unto their eyes, yea, they saw that it was. even a land flowing with milk and honey, and they lifted up their voice and rejoiced, and said the one unto another, ' Behold, shall we not take possession of this goodly land, and send the good tidings of great joy unto those of Gotham, who hath not gotten unto themselves aught of th(j< treasures of the earth.' And they did. seW*?. : down, on that goodly land, and did "parcel..^ K'jfi amongst them, and did build a town whic 5 " • .I^-" did call Austral Gotham. ■'„.- -'^'" J " And it came to pass that sifter nv><\';' vi ;;^ rs town waxed great, and the peoples, -..rvjof multiplied exceedingly, and the ruler^^^'£ 0 £ fc^ wax fat and kick. Not content ■^^aying on the people burdens grievous ar^rf:-;;; ;.;, v to £ c j, orne they did say, one unto: 9g-$&? r . no t db as seemeth/good m pij •-" ' : ? v. iier^is he that' shal^ispbU^ta^

(jailed a Harbour Board^and whg> .mjSM'e^iemmm of an evil le^m^^ifi^^eo^B^^^f^l^X through the .wrong. le^d; o£a; the> telqlgbpei^J^^^g they were c^ed' : pn']tpV"de^e;-';ai^i^'^s >^?^^^^ good of their'town. :! ' .Aridihe eyil tli^tlthl&^i^^P did, is it not written in. the Asmddeeiii .btjo'fisj'iofe^p the' chronicles of'Aiwfcral'i^thal&^'t-'V'-'^^S^-^^^ "And the rulers did, moreover; I : idf&Wpiieom Boards for everything in the town^ th'a^ji^a'dU^ aught of loaves arid fishes in it ; ; and did apipoiAiM|'| officers under them, whose business '!, iiilvraM'l^^M carry out their' laws, and to grind the ••'faces oiitbs^^ poor while anointing the faces! of the rich".''-'^^^! whenever those officers did tha,t which ';was^6sf*|| right, those Boards did, meet together, and^clidi^ whitewash them, so that, whatever' hap ; pe'ne'^&Jr| they were always able to speak Withi. .tiieiS^^ enemies in the' gate. ' ' ';. '.'^■'"if^ : <o^ "The Harbour Board' did appoint a. certauGft%cj man, whom they did call an Engineer, and who was-^f] held forth as one great amongst men in arithmeti^ s ?^ cal and constructive wisdom. And he did' r stfy;(.^| unto the Board, 'Behold, I will build a '-irh^e£ f r o. for those that go down unto the seam ship3i'neai? ;; i/j by unto the way of rails, and that wharf shall have seventeen footmarks at its outer verge^cafcr^ which the great ships shall safely float, and:brnig:^' much tithe and custom unto ye.' And he •"ffid l^; build that wharf, which cost thousands of talentif j|j of gold and silver, and, lo ! there were but eleven^- .'~J footmarks where seventeen, should have, beenit;? And the Board did whitewash that engineer, and^ no man might say them nay. And, furthermbre'/fv^; he did build a huge wall that reached uriti> heaven, even as Jacob's Ladder, and the rains^i came, and the wind blew, and that wall fell,, and- «,# great was the fall thereof; but no man did ea^^' 'Boh' unto him, for he did lay the blame 'on' tt^yi Lamb, even as the wolfsof £he fable. ' ' ,'■ .'■ , -"C^; "And another Boardr, did . choose unto itself*; j-V another engineer, to bring water unto Austral ;. G-otham, which was to be pumped up direct froriv'w! where it sprang out of the bowels of the earth. -V \ And a certain man did contract and agree <*>,:/!' make these works for an exceeding great number of . ■.V talents of gold and silver iMbnging unto the..' i people. But he was one of the rulers of Austral Q-otham^ and the Board did allow^ him to buildV^ that pump where it could only pass stagnant;' t" water unto the town, whereby the contractor did L- 7 wax exceedingly rich. And when the people did, V' see this water, they cried out, 'Away with it; : i we will have none of it,' and then that Board did ; ',. spend many more talents of gold, belonging .to; |, the people, in carrying great pipes from the.V) pump unto the springs,, to do that which' the, 7^l contractor was to have 'done at first. And ho man hath risen to denounce. this wickedness in 1 "^ high places. , . ' . ' ')_ ., " And this Board did further lay on. the inhabit '<»"; tants burdens heavy andi grievous to be bornej to J: pay for this water; and when it did find that 'A these burdens did bring unto it exceeding great,, \ V ; riches, it did refuse to lighten them unto the' J" people, and did spend the surplus of the, taxes' . raised on that water buying other hobby horses : . for it to ride even unto the death. ;* ."' , " And this Board had another Engineer who was to search out the crooked paths of Austral Gotham. and make them straight. And this man did lay down the permanent levels of the streets, and nQ;v; man might say him nay, for he did as seemed" *' J } good in his own eyes. And it came to pass that .') divers of the inhabitants did build unto them*? selves costly houses of brick and of stone, accord- ; j I ing unto these permanent levels, which were >-•"'•; afterwards found to be up in the air, or down in. ~ : .'-. the ground for that Engineer had waxed fat arid • ' : i careless. And there was weeping, and wailing, / : '"1 and gnashing of teeth among those who did build "/' on the faith of these levels, but, even as Q-alilepyV''^ that Engineer did care for none of these thing's, : .'\' , and the rulers of the! people did increase fhe.r '; tithes of mint and cummin for this man, and' did -,'' clothe him with that increase, instead of with <'/■ that garment called the sack. '. _'!.' " And he did further compel all the inhabitants, • under pains and penalties, to build all. their-;. verandahs after a certain pattern that he did con 1 - f coct and invent, that did tumble down at every, "•'- --touch. And he did refuse to alter or abate these.' s ; ' card-house, pipe-stem verandahs, until all the in- \ '; habitants had been mulcted of innumerable c >\ thousands of oboli to erect him throughout the v whole town. And none of the rulers of the -• ' \ people did rise up and say to this man,' 'Thou *' shalfc pay for all these verandahs that do tumble V ; down, for thou didst compel men to build even. ' as thou wouldest.' And " . . - But your aesthete thinks he hath given enough • r" to illustrate the preposition that he set out with ; and will on some future occasion give you sam- ; pies of several other styles of writing, for contrastive purposes. - '. • •; •';.'

Who would be a governess ? An educational institution advertiser f to a governess who can.:;; teach, French, muAo) aiid drawing ; salary, «§ff •.'.'■ per annum. WhyJU«ere are . barmaids in^^K-'- •■"' land, getting double that figure. Jemim/)^^ oaa .£• the Westmeath, hired herself out as oae .-. V of the nouveau riche at £1 a week ajd. f6und. ..•'{ At one of the bicycle races on Saturday there:/ "'■■ were two or thndeWlls together^?* competitors, ■ : and bicycles aiM^ontestants mixed;-, i up. A spectator remarked, joftkiiig at the efcrug-. -,: .. gling group, that it. wj^yery puzzling. ; Hisi.V comrade retorted, "y^ a case of wheels within wheels."- / -„■"• ';''^'-'t2'\ When citizens J^sire gratefully to acknowledgia.;? the services o &ihe police they might: do so.in;^ come other "^Hpian by forwarding pumpkins ; ;t6. -* the policy '^pZ&h. It causps trouble. .Pumpkinspi 1 are no.^^^oiddfen subject in the guard-rpomi^v. aU 4'-^lf %'- & policeman to take a pumpkin •'rpuses;^ h*^^ as much as if you asked him to ' fekei'aa.-^' Professor Walker, of; the,. Au^kian4>-ii y=-Ci niversity, was drowned a -'o%\ ! '^-jio.;i^aa^\ offered for the recovery of the/ ,bodyi s^tl^o|;4'found by the police, who have re'coiyed : Juifc'^aßl)^ the offered *¥$$&, The inembers^of/ibhe-^r^^ like the cabbies ijire not allowed to).say mu^H^buil^ ." they thintW^opee of a dpol,lVandjthetf^pirapiO^; is that some; p^ople/are,' l vd9nW" i ;tjJt'euch^B^|i|;iip>|: not likejy the^^^pppr^pitabjes l sn\l mak,^ My^ffipr^ll* ,f ussabout the i;inat;^rp redress ; wou,icLf r probabfeiendiVia^tTie :o|dllepm:S