BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 6, Issue 137, 28 April 1883, Page 92

BRIEF MENTION

. It is hot often that the orphans get such a j Oostley bequest. , ,~- Why, are iN.Z. land sharks like a celebrated \ artist ? Because they are Landseers. i ; .;• • Another/chapter in " Incidents in the Life of a i Journalist" is crowded out of this issue. J Johu'Lamb may be a Grood Templar, but his '/.wall the other day evidently had a drop too much. ; ;-Why can pur Fire Brigade Superintendent put ! a fire -out so quickly ? Because he is so (H)used to it. y Why should the City Council increase the ,/Mayor'B salary ? Because the Mayor is Clark as well. '.'. 'That was a nasty jar ~K.mg-.Qole got at the Costley obsequies, from the 'busman, and scarcely a just ; one., , ""'" ,':■. What's the difference between tbe A. Battery '> of ■ Artillery and a bankrupt ? One shells and the other 'does not. y J A young married "woman went^"©^: on her ear ; last week, and now the old man is fl&jjjg around. She ' objects to Julia. ■' '/It is a pity that the Catholic priest was with- , drawn, from' Coroinandel, because of his liberality of '.' sentiment. , That "Ame'r'kun cousin" of Quick's rather took it out of him about the relationship, on the depar- " ture' of the 'Frisco mail. A number of thirsty souls are *p\ donning the -Blue Eibbon. Tbo only blue thing th|yr*ver had before „ was " blue ruin and blue devils." ; . The Auckland Hospital authorities were advertising the other day for a couplje 6% " scrubbers" — • ' the present supply apparently bein^4o6 limited. Will the man, who hangs his teeth on the ■ verandah, in Wellesley- street, kindly extract the bark '„ out of his dogs, during the small hours of the night. ',-, It' was too rough of that bookmalsei; to tell the " defeated jockey, when he dropped his iittlf bit, that "he wonldn't trust him to ride a NewfoinwHnnd dog." It was rather an awkward compliment the Waitaraites paid the hero of ParihtyKi ;on his arrival from Waikato, by the town band striKjng|up " We'll all „ get blind drunk, when Johnny comes inarching home." Mr G-reenaway is in ecstasies over the Cosfcley bequest, and declares it is a " noble deed."- ■ When , Christopher shuffles off the mortal coil, the city%mblic. and charitable institutions will have "a soft fjhjjag." The showroom girls from Wcllesley-street corner used always to be out before the dressmakers. How is it, they now wait for a dressmaker to take them home ? A wag says that the late bequests to ouivpublic and charitable institutions is a costly sift. That's so. But it is shrewdly suspected that if a certain' solicitor hadn't stood Sam to us, it is Lombard-street toni china. , orange whether we would ever have seen a copper. I It is said that the a Ppoj^^H^P^ Major Walmsley and Mr B. Tonks b y-^^^^^^^£L ub *S>' attend upon the Governor at the El^^Pffla^^M3^^a,n"l . during the races, gave some umb^^rampen«^^; ; two social turfites. It was considere'd'^^^^^njanfeff^nad " a double portion " of His Excellefi||||lfs6ciisi;3 r . Two bald-headed swells wenbJßfiM'.vu Melbourne cafe billiard-room the other evening??'"' Aw," said one, . " I'll play for a bottle of — aw, what tshsii . it be ?', "We 'wij^dHMHHfte young lady behind the bar," said the it -be, Miss ?" The barmaid bottle of Tricopberoas." H^H|^^^^^^|BA.rmy are responsible for some H^BH^^n^^lßP^^" 11 ' vocabulary. At their meetings and Fire." The other day, at Gore, ■^■RaßH^TlfuTikms got so bad that the local papers H^HHB^PTtheir proceedings under the title'Spf-- " Blood A wag suggested it should have been and Goro." The captain of the Salvation Army has a neat way of prefacing the collection. He was talking about the Gospel chariot, and the necessity for greasing its wheels so that it should run smoothly and wittiout/any creaking. "Brethren," said he, "we will now- grease its wheels ; brother Abraham make the collection. The lord bless you !" The drawing of the coupons for the correct placing of the first three horses in the Easter Handicap Kace, ran on the 21st inst., took place in the presence . ' of a number of gentlemen on Tuesday morning. The lucky tipster was Mr P. Connolly, of Wellington-street, ■being the 18th coupon sent in. A " personal " in the daily papers lets one into the mysteries of the feminine toilet. £40 reward is offered for information respecting a missing fair one, aged 33, with "short hair, dyed golden, or fau 4 wig." ■ The advertiser must be dead gone on her. Jiist" fancy a man knocking down £40 to find a woman with dyed golden hair (16-carat power) or a fair wig ! At the Christchurch public schools a bathroom is attached, so that any urchin whose " shining morning face" does not come up to the standard of the. aesthetic and high-toned head teacher can be at.;- once "run in" and bathed. The Auckland City. Schools Committee, it is rumoured, contemplate getting a similar institution for the comfort of the Grand Bashaw. A young gentleman, to decide a wager, drove in a buggy, accompanied by two young ladies, through froni Cambridge to Auckland in two days, last week. The first day they naade Mercer, and the next town. After a day's rest they returned to Cambridge in the same way. At one of the small country townships they' dashed through, the larrikins turned out and tin-kettled the party, under the impression that it was either a marriage or an elopement that was on. Promoters of sweeps under " nick names," and who are at the same time well known by their cognomens, should be careful how they deny all connection or knowledge of the subject to clients who wish to trace their stray notes, sent through the post, and properly addressed according to advertisement. It would be a nasty thing if one such injured individual got "on his shoulder," laid an information, and gave evidence out of revenge. Yerh. sap. Progenitor of mankind. The other day a poor inebriate passed in her cheques. A few hours afterwards it w.ae-,reported to the police that the body was discovered,' to lies warm. As the lock-up-keeper knew the deceased to havfe been " a hot member," it was thought there uiidht bf something in it. Sergt. McMahon accordingly went; to/he woman's . residence and exhibited " a glass " befon»><sier face, but tmavailingly, for the purpose of resuscitation. The ■ remedy was an ingenious but curious one. It goes without saying that the worthy sergeant is an Irishman. The London Graphic says the disappearances of young girls are mysterious and unaccountable. This suggests , A NEW SONG-. I Air: "Perhaps She's on the Railway." Perhaps she's on the railway, ; Perhaps she's on the sea, Perhaps she's bolted right away, And mashed upon a he. Perhaps she's here, perhaps she's there, Perhaps she's up a tree, Perhaps she's joined the Salvationists, fry A Hallelujah lass to be. H^ Mrs Loomb, of the Paninure Hotel, gave a HBnarty on the 19th inst., in honour of the return of her froni the South. A few of the most noticeable HHkses were, the following: — Mrs Loomb, black, with HBHR^ls; .Mrs A. Loomb, peacock-blue, satin trimmings shade ; Miss Fahey, blue nun's veiling, lace ; Miss Malone, cream and pink ; Miss wine-coloured cashmere skirt, black velvet lßH|^^^Bfre Misses Cleary, peacock-green, with satin m^H^H^H^^ Miss Ray, black merino, with satin triin■BHH^^HßHk - Wren, dress of wine-colour ; Miss lustre, trimmed with blue j HB^J^^^^^^H^ merino;. with satin trimmings. . . kenlivene,d on Wednesday week H^^^HH^HHjHß^Cr McGuiretp Miss Crainshaw, the lll^H^Hß^^^H^^^HH^O^'at; the residence -of the bride's H|B^H^HHka3< 'attired ■ in a costume of grey; H^H^^^^^^MHB|d|;fild; L fl;6wers.. | ;After:th i e\cere.;

Miss Hunt singing several songs with great success. The Misses Hattaway looked very pretty dressed in white oatmeal cloth, trimmed with blue sateen. Miss Olive Hattaway (cream oatmeal cloth, blue sateen trimmings), and. Miss E. Search field (cream sateen), divided the honours for belle. The bride departed for her new home with the well-wishes of everyone present. It is stated that gold has been found in some quantity at Llanelltyd, North Wales. We remember that when the gold mania was prevalent in that part of the world some years ago, a sympathising friend met a would-be vendor, and condoled with him on the fact that the engineer had washed the " test " ton of earth without finding any of the precious metal. " Yes," replied the other, " it is quite true ; but it must have been the fault of their vile machines. Why, I put in two ounces of gold-dust myself ;" SIC TRANSIT. When the sun was low in the western sky, And wild birds blythely singing, I met my love at the garden gate, Where flowers sweet wore singing. We spoke of the future in joyous mood, While the hours away were stealing, And heard not the sound of the muffled drums Or the passing bells slowing pealing. One year and I stand alone by tbo gate, When autumn winds are sighing 1 , And the fallen leaves lie thick on the grave Where my life's one love is lying. Peggy Bawn.

CAPTAIN TED AVRIGHT. '• Idu believe " in principle; bat O ! I dv in interest. SPOUT THE SPOILER. (Sffcer " Drink The Spoiler.") Spout the Spoiler, spoils the street, Makes the thieves and victims meet, In the evening time ; Robs them of their little calm, Makes the rowdies do the harm, Makes a lot o£ crime. Spout the Spoiler gets the ads, Under cover of his " fads," Slowly, day by day, Till at last his fatal fangs Rack his frame with fearful pangs, Spoiling type away. Spout the Spoiler spoils the heart, For, you bet, he will not " part " ; He is never in, Never sees the flowing bowl, Never had a touch of soul — Bpjrdermous skin. Oh ! lot's spoil this spoutcr, Spout, All who drink, or go without, Knowing what is right ; Join the children of Chadband, Always lifting up his hand — Humbug gives no light. W. Alf. Ellis, " the G-eovgc Augustus Sain, of New Zealand," has announced his intention, in a fearful and wonderfully made handbill, to publish the Northern Wairoa Gazette, at D.irsraville, oil the Ist of May. If George only carries out half the ambitious programme he has announced, there aro some sensations in store. We fancy we discover the fine Roman hand of Mr W. B. Langbriclge in the framing of the " bold advertisement." A FRAGMENT. The whirligigs of Time, the poet sings, Its own revenges in the ages brings ; The will of God grinds slowly, but it grinds Exceeding surely, and the march of minds Goes ever onward through the rolling years, Commingling with the music of the spheres : Change, progress, but throughout there ruws One grand, eternal purpose in the circling of the suns ! The future of the Salvation Army in Great Britain is described in a pamphlet entitled The Now Cnisada ; a Vision and a Warning. The writer depicts the state of the country at the close of the present century, by which time the Salvationists have obtained supreme control ci the state. The Army has become a great reality, and having disestablished thn church, abolished the House of Lords, and driven the Royal Family into exile — all in the name of religion — it ends by ordering a general massacre of those who are the possessors of property, and consequently the children of the devil. POOR JO! " I don't know nothink." — Dickens. I Poor Jo sat down and wept, For hungry and cold was he ; Weary and worn he slept, Forgetting his misery ; But short was his fitful sleep — Alas ! for the homeless one, A voice ('twas harsh and deep), " Get up !" it said, " move on." Move on ! — Poor Jo moved on. His childhood ne'er had known A parent's tender care ; Upon the cold world thrown, The outcast's badge to wear. To soarve, to beg, or steal, His last sad hope was gone : To shun the prison wheel, The wretched boy moved on. Move on ! — Poor Joe moved on. Hunger, disease, and cold Have done their work at last : Ah, misery untold — Hush ! life is ebbing fast. His siin'ken' eyelids close, Home has his spirit gone : In undisturbed repose He quietly sleepeth on — Poor Jo sleeps on ! •William Sylvester Puxfoed. Mr E. Ratlins lias been kind enough to send us a copy of Part IV. of " Picturesque New Zealand and Monthly News." No. XII., Ateamuri Bridge, on the Waikato River, is a good picture, and reflects credit on the artist. The foliage in the foreground, is remark-aHgufoil-faitMulness to nature, and the bold outlines of the hills are~^veHr<3raw-lUv There are also a view of Government House," Auckifyid^the, Wairau Creek, Nelson,' ' a Maori Settlement, an Attagk_on. a Maori Pa, and (No. -XI.)- a view of Auckland, takerTffQui Mount Eden. This last view, is- remarkable for the scojf&Qf the' .' landscape,^ and (does; credit .to : the ; artist. The ■ pu«}lijfljrtiQnjJbas'.Ae'rir rauch improved, and- refleota credit oik

Mr Luks, of tlie Victoria Hotel, has imported some splendid Bremen lager bier, which deserves a trial. On Saturday next the Ladies Match, and Honorary Members Match in connection with the Auckland Kifle Association will take place, commencing at one o'clock sharp. Rheumatism:. — The nowly discovered English Cure for Rheumatism and all Rhenmatic affections. All who suffer are requested to give it a trial. Mr T. B. Hill, who is appointed sole agent for New Zealand, has just received his first shipment. On Wednesday next, May 22, Messrs Tonks and Co. will sell l>y auction the choice villa residence, situated at Ponsonby, the property of Mr A. Linabury, comprising 3£ acres of ground laid out as vineries, in fact the ground contains the largest glass covered vinering in New Zealand, and is a valuable investment for anyone. IN MEMORIAM: Pbank Nicholls. Dead ! my lords and masters, Dead ! and no Alastors Round his bed; Nor laurels — save such As journalism gave him — not much. To boast of. Left no name, Or monument — such is fame ! Of us, who write, no flowers We gather in the shining hours — They wither, ere the fruit is ripe. We write on water — only type — : But yet enough for us, if some poor soul, Seeing the finger pointing to the goal. Takes heart again, and leaves a mark j That lighte some soul in sorrow through, the dark. ! Drank ! Yes, he took his glass (All flesh is grass) ; 'Twore better that he paid his score, ; Thau cheat the devil in behind, the aoor ; And so they said of him when he was dead, No flowers bloomed or blossomed o'er his head. He hath gone— passed away — For writers only are of common clay ; Yet, in the universal spheres of rhyme, They leave some footsteps on the sands of timeSome landmark, that some soul in pain, Seeing, shall take heart again. AUTOMATHES. [" Automathes'" Pegasus halts a little, but it is evident that he possesses some of the divine afflatus. — Ed. Obs._|