A BILLET-DOUX UNDER DIFFICULTIES; OR, THE LOVE-LORN LINENDRATER.

Observer, Volume 6, Issue 137, 28 April 1883, Page 88

A BILLET-DOUX UNDER DIFFICULTIES; OR, THE LOVE-LORN LINENDRATER.

A.N assistant in the softgoods line lias lately been taken very bad indeed with, the tender passion, an 4 during a paroxysm of unusual violence he ■wildly invoked the poetic Muse. Business not being very brisk one morning, he thought he would versify his declaration of love. Just after commencing, however, and as the inspiration began to trickle through his hair, customers came in at intervals, and somewhat interrupted the titicklin<T. "*-Vhai iiibh :.--H rising i-h^ eusloiuWs -jluJ «o". l -.!ag the Waso, thiugs i±eL ri'rh-y "'iii-'/ed yy.i —love p.issn£e; and bnsne purr-.-*". , fiofr- ber.tinior.t sad Mirt-uru-t, ;■■. U->v.-: i-iiu'.ntm-il j a-'.il interl'-'iiied, .-.s it \v<-*ro, in Iho V- ■. iklcred «rauinr;i m rhr voufch. iv the softgoods line, as «hown in the following effusion : — Dear Mary Ann, if I am not too bold In thus addressing one I love so dear — C" Good morning, ma'am, the weather's very cold : There's frost, I'm thinking, in the atmosphere.") You will remember that delightful time, When home one lodge-night I escorted you— (" Welsh flannel, ma'am ? here's some that extra prime : Allow me to cut off a yard or two.") As Jgre meandered on beneath the trees, lß|^h|^omefcMng about "love and "wings" — {" <|^^^Hfc|^°£_ w^ n^ er wear . ma'nin ? here's some I^H^H^^^^H^H|^^ea^er things.)" O^^^9HB^^HH^^^BB^BD-walk mHßH^^^^^^^HHH^h^B^Hh^ recollect — ('^^S^BBf^KßK^^^^^B^^^^; c can talk! (9Ffj^EM^^H^B^^H^^BHßß^UQ n ght the best, AlH^B^^H^PV(^P^|pfueor mauve.") - My heart is flitjter-flutteririg^wilSly'Still, ' A strange puUsation thrills all through my frame — (" Certainly, ma'am, I'sJl make you out the bill And book it (to you — it is all the same.") Say dearest,H&y, can you reciprocate This true attachment — this sincere regard ? — ("It comes exactly, lna'ani, to lour pounds eight ; Knock off tjhe shillings ? O, you ore too hard.") From the fevjf times that we have been together I felt that we had quite congenial minds. — {" Good day, jma'ain — thanks — 'tis very chilly weather ; Nothing in! mats, to-day, or window blinds ?") 'Twould be tji privilege if you'd allow ' ■ That letters, fond, to you I may address — ('■' Confounji it, who's this interrupting now ? ' No; Muggins, I don't want your watercress.") I may inform you that I thought it right To get permission from your dear papa— {" Ahem I—what1 — what can I do for you to-night Toung /man ? Eh, 15 size shirt collai-s ? Ah !") Oi Mar||jAnn, refuse not him who loves Andisjgiily dotes on you, I do implore — (" Goo!||sSi ; emng, Mrs Brown ; some children's gloves ? What size, ma'am; did you say ? Oh, number four.") JFair maiden, what I say I really mean, O.'dearest one ! 0, fairest of the fair — ■ X" What next, maim ? Here's a stylish crinoline, "' 'And chignon guaranteed of real hair.") , I think that in this most important step v:*We shall not make a matrimonial blunder — . i'.'^lzt linen stay^, ma'am, or in crimson rep, - W^'sell as cheap as Vaile, and rather under.") 33b '-more at present, love ; excuse mistakes ; • I'm writing tnis in business hours, you know. And when one*!; head, through interruption, aches, The heart'B deep feelings will not smoothly flow. ■ "GEORGE'S" PARTHIAN ARROW. Dear Oi.d Maid, — I am dying to help you cut . that first wisdom-tooth. I sw.ear by the ghost of ; deceased wife that I am a bachelor, but I Hrwili own up to having cut one wisdom-tooth. Ifc MprasKa painful operation, but; with you I would ■Brillingly cut a second, despite your appalling c& yourself. I regret that that picture is Bfe.false. one, because I can now never find you out. »I would bear with a quarter of such impossible ■ ■ugliness ma woman when its possessor can write ■■ so like a man. Besides, one can always pleasurkiss . a^ person who has- good teeth. Just HfcndJ>hat photograph under cover to the editor, jHmdfl'll promise to take it in infinitesimal doses Vfcill I have got accustomed to the whole. This is W no; new defiance. I throw up my hands and ; confess; myself recognised. Good-bye, and may . Milner Stephen have re-created you by the time .;' we do 1 happen to meet. Q-EORGE. . : £If that photograph ever comes along, we are ";i^t going, to be such a fool as to give ii; to V ; <&eorge." It is one of the conceits of pretty - to ;. describe themselves as ugly, and we 'v'-fij^vei ,-'a^ shrewd suspicion that "Old Maid" i.vbMo.ngsjbo:.that numerous class o£ lovely spinsters :> :<yj; r wh.6mj the jeunesse dore of Auckland stand, in the, girls know too much for them. V;l^^QM:;Maid '' sends that photo, we shall keep k it ourl'eive^v' !=A' -woman down South was cured m of ;~som|'o. complaint by merely gazing fixedly for aT> • ;'. -. : giyeti-f i^i| : :s0 t XJS^iMe j . Stephen's -simulacrum pn a ,;-yjec.e^ftf;^|g^;,;^^hisk^ the' fate of a pretty. '.'- pure, thjaii I^ilner. ito ofj; *JoM?^^