THAMES TITTLE TATTLE

Observer, Volume 5, Issue 124, 27 January 1883, Page 308

THAMES TITTLE TATTLE

— 1 hear our two young friends, of the National P. Office, have joined the citizen army. No doubt, a little wholesome drill and discipline will benefit them, more especially he who leans to the goody-goody class, as rumour saith his tongue is inclined to be fast and scurrilous. Take care, young man.

— In connection with church matters, the annual meeting comes oif on Tuesday next, and I anticipate some warm work, for the old sore subject of changing the Hymnal is to be brought up again, and some very strenuous opposition will be shown. It is a pity to see dissension over such a small matter, as there are plenty of other works of the sort to choose from.

— The gentleman who is always mentioned in connection with an animal of the canine family, has once more left us for fresh fields and pastures new. There will be one or two aching hearts about our subburbs ; but he will come back, no doubt. His heart is as large and bold as his celebrated dog, and such men make their mark in the world, though they may buy their experience rather dearly.

— The parson of Sfc. George's is particularly rongh upon his male parishioners. No doubt they deserve it ; but there are more ways of killing a cat than by hanging it, so, ulso, there are more ways of inducing people to do what is required of them than by sneering at them. Not only that, but the gentleman above mentioned makes (to say the least of it) some very inappropriate remarks, and quite out of place from a pulpit — such fascinating remarks as Colua and Black Pox are, in connection with a sermon, something awful, and might have been left alone. The rev. gentleman must also remember that to the ordinary week-day community Sunday is a day of rest in more ways than one — and rest, to most people, does not mean going to church two or three times a day, — also, he should recollect that most meu who work for their living have no time to do parish work : that belongs to himself and hig lady parishioners, who have plenty of time on their hands, and that it is possible to harp upon one string too long until people get tired of such music.

— Rather a good yarn is told of a bushman and the Baron. The Baron one day, some time back, went into a well-known hotel in Shortland, where some half-a-dozen people were congregated, and informed the proprietor that he meant to shout for all hands. Of course the liquids were indulged in by some of the crowd; but bwo men were sitting talking by themselves, and took no notice of the Baron's oiler of a shout, whereupon, he (the Barou), marching 1 up to them, asked them what they were going to drink. One of the two asked him to let him alone — he did nob want to drink ; and upon the Baron pressing the offer, the bushman got riled, and politely asked the Baron who he was. But his memory must have served him just at the time,forhe obsorred — " Ah ! I know you ; you are that d — thi monopolist. You own half the pubs, in Grahams town, don't you ? Like your cheek to ask me to drink. Anyone would imagine you had been introduced to me." Since then, the gentleman who made the above remarks has been called the. Educated Bushman.

— Last Sunday evening the congregation of St. George's Church imist have enjoyed a treat— over the left. As usual, there was an anthem— one of the most beautiful on the list, — but the way in which it was sung was, to say the least, excruciating. The concerted parts were fairly well rendered, but the solo — well, it can't be passed over in silence. The lady who sang the part had better give up all notion of ever doing so again, unless she wants to drive everyone out of church ; her voice is most unsuitable, and she has an abominable way of singing through her teeth. She zaa-y have lots of nerve at a practice, but to sing beforcr a churchf ul of people is quite another matter. The choirmaster certainly might have selected another voice, as there are three or four very good voices in The choir. The amount of gigglin^ and face-screwing going on during the performance by some of the lady members of the cboir was, to say the least, in very bad taste, and, had the performer seen them, she must have broken down irretrievably. Let us pray earnestly that we shan't, for a considerable time at least, be afflicted with such another exhibition.

Will some of our bibliographieally-inclined readers inform us if it was the whale that swallowed Jonah, ov Jonah, the whale ? We have some doubt about the matter, as latterly we hear that several persons swallowed the 75 feet of whale cast ashore at Garrett's Tannery on t the Whati Creek. Or is it possible that the gentleman who supplied the Press with the information was from the Land o' Cakes, and possessed the art of second-sight — a common thing in Scotland, especially when aided by a fow " sma' drams o' whuskey " — and consequently saw two whales, whose united measurement would maka the 75 feet ? As the cat says, "we paws for a reply." In the meantime we would advise our readers not to mention whales within the hearing of Mr Garrett, or they will" stand a chanceof getting a " tanning." The advent of the whales has not altered the price of boots, and Mr William Qarrett is still selling off at Wakefleld-street at prices so oheap as to make even a whale blubber;