RIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 5, Issue 120, 30 December 1882, Page 252

RIEF MENTION

Will the anthor of " Waikato's message" kindly call on the editor. There is a lightning jerker in the suburbs who curls his hair with a slate-p'eacil. There is distress among the " heads " and the " tails "at Whangarei— P's gone I We' have to thank the Town Clerk for a copy of the City Council Annual Reports, 1882. * Who is the young chemist that has been blessed with six olive branches in three years ? The young ladies at Kaukapakapa took fright at the dance which followed the recent soiree. Give us a rest about the belles at the Young Colonistß' ball. Stale. i One of the sights at the North Shore on Christmas Day was a female in the main street*" a bit overcome," warbling a favourite ditty. ' High jinks at Whatawhata — the aristocrats (?) have taken possession of the school-house. Revolution impending. . The " pote " Q-rigg claims the prerogative of ■wearing bis hat in the Court-house until the business opens. — Hon. Ivo'Bligh's Eleven play the Australian Eleven (Murdoch's) on the Adelaide Oval early next month. Christmas trees, have been played out during the past week, and people now are pining for something new. — The Hon. Ivo Bligh's feet are the sensation in Australia at present. They are said to measure 18in. x lOin. For the thousandth time we beg our country correspondents to write on one side of the paper only, and to use some other instrument than a burnt stick. They pay the man double who sweeps out the little Bethel at Maungaturoto. He has to ■ gather up all the h*s scattered around promiscuously by the parson. Some of the " hoodlums " are taking to the pleasant recreation of smashing public-house windows. Publicans may well say, " Save us from our (so-called) friende." The Turkish Baths Company talk of raising more capital, increasing the value of the shares, and erecting new baths. This looks like " sweating " the shareholders. It was " too thin" of the Artillery band to play down Queen-street on Christmaß Day, " I've been redeemed," and to bluff the public in that way, when everybody knows they're subject to Payne. Oh, we have got a fact to make, You laugh like a hyena, For Sherwin's changed her name — she's now £ignora Scalatina. It is rumoured that some of the admirers of the Bey. David Bruce, who has just returned to Auckland, contemplate taking steps to build hijj^ another ehuroh. < One Tench— rather a strange fish — advertises that there is a treat for the ladies of Auckland : " They can have their feathers curled by the only practical hand in New Zealand." He had better try it on 1 The census returns state that there are four . mon in New Zealand who have deaf and dumb wives. Only' four homes in the colony where the steam box-iron is not required as the antidote to "magging !" The person who is going about on the Thames ' boasting that through friendship with the editor of this paper he is able to ascertain the names of correspondents and contributors, is a perverter of the truth. Three bushmen got " lambed-down" to the extent of £100 last week. Never felt happy till they had " melted " their cheques. The old story, " earn their money like horses and spend it like asses." More to follow. THe following is a Thames idyll : " Man is a gudgeon, Woman is the line Thai dangles o'er his head, . And hoofca him every time." Recognising the kind assistance Mr Gerald Dillon has given in connection with performances in aid of charitable objects, tho Auckland amateurs have tendered a complimentary benefit to him, which takes place on the 16th prox. ' A performance by gentlemen amateurs, assisted by lady professionals, will take place at Abbott's Opera House on the 16th of January. Byron's comedy " Nat - such a fool as he looks" and a local eccentricity will be the attractions. There is a certain tailor (not of Queen-street) who is notorious for enticing young girls into his shop, for immoral purposes. We have our argus eyes upon the villain, and if we can sheet a case home, will give him slops. The Warkworth *girl is still advertising for Captain M. to meet her at the Warkworth Hotel. " She -is very comfortable." We thought we had aeen that before. If she is very comfortable, why bother the gallant captain ? When Oliphant made Comrie's will he was a clerk in the employ of Mr W.E. Browning.and he left that Office within a week afterwards. In fact Oliphant had commenced business on his own account while in Browning's employ, and the latter had bo connection with Comrie's will. Maungaturoto is one of the most aristocratic Battlements in the North. The people usually go to church in their carriages. They are not phcetons, ' broughams, sulkies, landaus, nor barouches : they are aleuges. The most swellishof these carriages are boxed round like sheep-pens. There was a meat famine at Mercer the other day, and we have received seventeen letters of complaint against the local butcher. He was at the Queen's Redoubt races, and was so interested in the '* stakes " that he forgot the " stsakes "of his customers. It is not meet that ouch things should be. The Southern Press says that Auckland is getting an unenviable name for dramatic domestic episodes. It forgets the Byronic solution of the problem — " What men call gallantry, but gods adultery. Is much more common where the clime is sultry." The Press Association man at Napier does nofc- - seem to be strong on theology. Few- Pressmen are. Referring to Milner Stephens' healing miracles at Napier, he says, "A deaf and dumb boy was made to hear. He is reported to have since fallen from grace, and cannot now speak." Things seem mixed up somehow. A barber— we beg his pardon — a hairdresser — no, we apologise ogam, — a professor of the tonsorial and crimcultural arts — threatened .to annihilate a customer the other day, because, he insisted on being shaved by the proprietor, instead of the assistant. The , latter resented it as an implied imputation on his pro- ' fessional skill. The Baptist Bazaar yielded the magnificent total of £1155, without invoking the aid of raffling, art unions, &c,, or any other pious swindle "of a cognate nature," and there are £500 worth of uoods yet for disposal. Yet, with all this gratulation, there ia a weak spot . in the Baptist armour. ■ Though %hej have not done the lottery business, they may be fairly and justly accused of having made "a lucky bag." As the G-lenelg was steaming away from the on Tuesday, an agitated female rushed through , the crowd, and waved her lily-white hand imperiously to the captain to stop. The poor creature had a small family of sixteen and a husband on board. .The captain; like Nelson at Copenhagen, was judiciously blind, and, as the steamer sped down the harbour, the disgusted female, who was croolly severed from her family, wared & mournful farewell, and then mado tracks np the wharf.

The events of the past month show that most of our social troubles owe their origin to lovely woman. It i 3 the old story, \ " Beauty's our grief, but in the ore, We mint, we stamp, and then adore ; Like heathens, we the image crown, And indiscreetly then fall down." The recent concert at WoocTside, in connection with the school picnic, was very successful. Tho singers were Miss Wallace, the Misses Mackay, Miss Clow, Mr Waters, Miss J. Wallace, Messrs Burnside, Dougherty, Tailor, Boler. The song given by the last was the gem of the. evening. He also amused the audionce with a series of chemical and scientific performances. Nominations for tlie Tauvanga J.G. Handicap, Hardies, and Publican's Purse close at 8 p.m., on January 6th." Post dated letters will be received, but the Secretary must be informed by telegram addressed Commercial Hotel. A large attendance is expected from the goldfiolds, Taupo, Ohinemutu, Opotiki, Waikato, and. other adjacent districts. We loam that the course is now in splendid condition, and equal to any in the Colony. All the Tauranga horses are in exercise. » At the Lome-street Hall on Boxing Night a grand promenade concert and ball took place, arranged by Mr Horace Dean, who, this year, did not give the usual minstrel entertainment for the first part, to be followed by a ball, but very judiciously managed to have dancing at the intervals between the songs — an arrangement that pleased everyone. The attendance" was very large, and as the programme will be repeated on Monday night, Jan. Ist, a still larger gathering is anticipated. In our next issue an extended notice re concert and ball will appear. The following thrilling epistle was picked up in Pukekohe the other day:— "Dear William,— Not more welcome is the apperence of an inn to a weary traveller than your letter was to me. But how is it posobell that you should . harber the lea3t suspicionsof my enfidelity. Dose my ' billey ' imagine that i would suffer the addresses of any fops or coxcome after i was bond in the most solammost manner — I mene by promise ; and be assured ' i pay the same regard to my ward as my oath, if thair is ever an eristrueffon to our love, i my love object and my happiness. — Tours, A." THE WHITE TIE. Her form was wasted, theugh 'twas fair ; She clutched his arm beneath the glare Of a gas jet, And said : "By your attire I see A clergyman has come to me — Oh, don't go yet ! " I'm wicked — I have braved life's storm ! I'm wretched, and would reform— I'll kiss your hand ; I am, indeed, a child of sin — " Quoth he, " Young girl, I'm pnly in The bloomin' band." The impudence of Colonial youth is proverbial, of which an amusing instance occurred at the Baptist Bazaar. A lad of thirteen' and a-half years of age rushed into print because he was charged adult prices, on the usual rule of being over twelve, and went back the following day for a refund. The doorkeeper, was so tickled with the superhuman " cheek " of tho young Colonial that he returned him the whole fef. nnrl the Royal Champion Deadhead, having seen tho , 7| w, proudly stalked out with his admission money i his pocket. But call that boy " a child "in any tiling '*lse but half-price admission rates, and you shall see him "put his frills on." Circumstances, as usual, alter cases. The Maungaturoto paraon has a neat way of improving the occasion. The other Sunday one of his most respected parishioners, overcome by the heat of the weather, indulged in a quiet nap. The eagle eye of the preacher caught the situation. He was speaking of sinners who were not alive to grace,- dead in the flesh, and so on, and he saw an opportunity for an apt illustration. He said they were like that parishioner — asleep. The parishioner referred to received a prompt nudge in the ribs from his disgusted spouse, and he has since been going about denouncing parsons who indulge in vulgar personalities to make up for deficiency in originality. After hearing Mr Heywood's imitation of Madamo Patti, at the Theatre Boyal on Saturday evening, and his " trills" a la lima do Sfurska, it is not to be wondered at that a hot dispute arose among the spectators as fro Mr Heywood's sex. The Byronie phrase seems the most Appropriate, that he is of "epicene" gender. As for the kisses which he ," blew" around generally, in his feminine garb, it may be said — " Her mouth Was roses gathered from the South— • The warm south side of Paradise — And breathed upon and handed down By angels on a pair of stairs." An amusing incident occurred at the Ellerslie railway platform, when the first train came into the station at the dose of the races. It was immediately rushed by hundreds of stalwart fellows, the women not having half a show. One damsel of eighteen summers determined not to miss her passage, so she went dead "end on" through a railway carriage window. She stuck on the sill for a minute or so, a moving mass of white, thtn wriggled through, falling on the seat inside. The male section of the assemblage in rear of her. on the platform applauded her to the echo for her pluck, but they had their own reasons for doubting the prudence of performing such a feat. The moral of the affair is, that if she had had a crinoline on, tho thing could not have been done. The Glenelg was densely crowded with excursionists to Kawau ; but, owing 1 to the excellent arrangements on board, and. the care and attention of the officers, very little discomfort was experienced. The . weather being beautiful, an excellent run was made, and the steamer, despite the unfavourable tide, wo'ild have been skilfully run alongside the wharf had not a yacht been right ia the fairway. Sir George Grey was on the wharf to welcome the excursionists ; and, as usual, the house, with its rare literary, artistic, and scientific curiosities, was thrown open to the visitors. An arch of evergreens at the end of the wharf bore the floral design, " Welcome," and there was a similar greeting in. the hall. Hundreds of people dispersed over the island, and enjoyed picnics in the cool shade of the trees, while the youngsters indulged in various games and sports. During the afternoon Sir George Grey devoted'mueh time and care to exhibiting and explaining the treasures of his library to an interested group of visitors. A« the Glenelg's lines were cast off, the excursionists gave three cheers for Sir George Grey, while the band struck up " For he's a jolly good fellow." Sing a song for sixpence, Drinking on the sly, Wo must be all abstainers Before the public eye ; But when that eye is turned away We can enjoy a dram, And is not that a dainty joke To carry on the sham. In a little snug back-parlor, We pet quite blythe and funny. While the demon poison vendor He Bnavels all the money. Chorus — All howling Dervisb.es.are we, Yet privately wq love a spree ; And to the nublic give a howl • On water drink by cheek and jowl. We have received from the publisher a copy of " Brett's Auckland Almanac, Strangers* Vade Mecum, and Provincial Handbook for 1883," which contains several new features and improvements in keeping with the times. There is an excellent chart of the Auckland harbour, with all the latest soundings and landmarks, which will be of great value to mariners and others. The chapter on tho orchard, with illustrations on budding and grafting, will also be of great service to gardeners and farmers. The statistics are brought down to latest dates. There are articles on the occupations of the people, condition of the Maories, statistics of friendly societies, Australian statistics, particulars of . the area, resources, and climate of the provincial district, a digest of the measures passed last session, an article on hop cultivation, a register of Auckland shipping corrected to December 30th 1882, and a vast fund of information useful if not indispeusible to the traveller und commercial man. We congratulate Mr Thomson W. Leys, the editor of the almanac, on the continued popularity of this excellent publication,

The production of the pantomime, " Jack the Giant Killer," has been attended with the most lucky results. Night after night Abbott's pretty theatre has been thronged by eager The'pieco is staged in a costly and elegant manner, and the performance is decidedly superior to any of the previous efforts of the juveniles. Miss Graupner as Jack plays with a dash and humour rarely found even in adult performers. .Miss Holmes, as Jack's mother, leaves little to be desired. Miss Amy Ghilds makes a bewitching little fairy aueen. The King Arthur of little Dolly Innman is pourfcrayed with appropriate humour. Miss Amy Hodge invests tho part of Sybel with considerable interest ; she sings charmingly and acts most naturally. Master William Driscoll id in his element as Tremoloso, and Miss Dalley renders good service as Mao'psa. The giant Gorgibuster is in the hands of Mr Darbyshire, and could not well be be in better. Those who are familar with Australian theatricals know what a high reputation this gentleman j enjoys in Melbourne and Sydnoy as a pantomimst, and it is pleasing to note that his abilty is far from deteriorating, in fact is, if anything, on the increase. The little ; mite who personates the Lord Chamberlain is honestly | -entitled to a word of praise. As a matter of course the time-honoured harlequinade constitutes part of the performance. Jt is played in pit-pat style, which is the first essential of comic scenes. The tricks are clever, and in many instances original, the cascades are most picturesquely executed, and the whole affair reS^ts great credit on the stage manager, Mr Darbyshire, who must have spent considerable time and exhausted a great deal of patience to achieve such a hax?py consumation. Master Driscoll is decidedly a hit as Clown, and the same may be said of Master Stephens as Pantaloon. As Harlequin and Columbine, Amy Childs and Dolly Inmau acquire fresh laurels, while Fanashore deserves to be complimented on his humourous assumption of policeman. The scenic artist.Mr Holmes,is also worthy of high commendation, the various scenes produced by his brush being exceedingly pretty, and thoroughly in keeping with the rules laid down by fairy tradition. The attendance has been most satisfactory and the pantomime bids fair to have a long and prosperous run. After a long vacation the Theatre Koyal has re-opened its doors. The company now occupying it are-termed "The Star Novelty Combination," and are well worthy of the title, inasmuch as there is a refreshing newness about their various acta, and each member is an artist of considerable ability. The first portion of tho programme consists of a comedietta termed " Outwitted," which is simply a vehicle for exhibiting some very clever character representations, and some excellent singing. Among those who contribute to the success of the piece may be mentioned Mr William Horace Bent .(whose delightful drolleries never fail to convulse his' audience), our old friends Messrs McCarthy, Kennedy, and. Mr Heyw»od. The latter gentleman as a female impersonator can fearlessly challenge comparison with any of his predecessors. His vocalisation is simply marvellous for a man, and his entire performance devoid of that crudeness which as a rule characterises most aspirants in the same difficult line of business. The piece is followed by a nautical song,- "We tars that o'er the ocean plough," which is rendered in good style by Mr Bishop, after which Mr Kennedy appears in his side-splitting acts, "The Essence • of old Virginny," and a burlesque " Golden Shoe Dance," both of which are in keeping with the high reputation of this clever comedian. Mr Lawless is effective in his " Cuckoo Song," and Mr William Horace Bent in his " German Specialties " makes one forget there is such a thing as trouble in the world. Mr Charles Heywoed, ss Madame Patti,increases the favourable impression he has previously created in the opening piece. The first part of the programme concludes with a sketch entitled " The Registry Office " in which Messrs Kennedy and McCarthy beep the audience in a dangerous state of merriment for about a quarter-of-an-hour. The performance concludes with a musical burletta, in which Mr Heywood sustains various feminine roles. It affords him an amplo opportunity for lightning change, and for extraordinary vocalisation, which he amply avails himself of. He also exhibits his skill as a trainer of the feathered tribe. The power he possesses over his birds .is most remarkable. Mr Bent's renditions are, as a matter of course, clever and diverting, and Messrs McCarthy and Kennedy's comic powers are displayed to full advantage. Among the most amusing items may be mentioned the burlesque quintette. The performance is of a high degree of merit, and fully deserving of the large share of patronage already bestowed upon it. The selection of Mr Smith for the post of business manager is a most happy one ; his unfailing 1 courtesy and zeal in the interest of his principals having gone far to promote the success of the show.