BRIEFMENTION

Observer, Volume 5, Issue 117, 9 December 1882, Page 204

BRIEFMENTION

Mr Seth Smith is the pew District Judge. What has become of that black lamb belonging to the lady at Panmure ? That blue dress ' did the boss mashing at the Good Intent on Saturday night. Tom Hanna has gone from Napier to Gisborne to give the girls a treat. Ask A. D. Tole how he enjoyed the Olde Englishe Fayre at Gisborno. The girls at Grisborue can't make out why the young tonsorial artist is so shy. Constable MeGilp left in the Q-lenelg on Monday for his new station at ' Russell. The banks moderated the eligible building Bite mania by putting on the screw. Mr J. Enko has books open on all forthcoming events at the Occidental. • Toung men must be scarce afc Ngaruawahia ■when young women have to marry widowers. What were Sammy and Joe doing with that milk-can so early the other morning P During the Cup week, it is said, one man lost £10,000 at cards at the Melbourne Club. The latest novelty — Seamen Biggs going South with a cricket team. It is almost too intense. It is scarcely fair to keep her waiting so often at the trysting place, the Auckland post office verandah. Who gets the benefit of the loss of those accounts at Drury ? All blanks and no prizes will not wash. Who was the gallant captain that was seen polishing his boota in the train with, a sheet of brown paper P A young man in Mount Eden-road is much shocked at the open spooning of a certain couple at a shop. Poor fellow ! The A.C. man, at Kingarden, who drew Assyrian and a cool " thou.," is said to he distantly related to Col. "Roberts. Mr J. Bull, of Remuera, is mentioned among the coming sacrifices. Miss Wall, late of Gisborne, is said to hold his heart in her keeping. The St. Mathew's people would not pay G-erald Dillon the fee of half-a-guinea for "Other laps," and yet they call this the age of Gold and of Chivalry. It is a great shame of B. to go out walking with Mrs F., and wasting the time that she ought to be spending at the Orphanage with, her children. A priestess in the Temple of Bacchus knocked day-light through a Queen-street " hash-slinger " the other evening. G-ammon and Snap seem to have come off eecoad best in the struggle for the West Queen-street ♦•Scrooge's" '' tocher." Civilians Trill hare to mind their p's and q's when the Dunedin boss detective arrives, or it will be a case of "Walker!" Seth Smith has a good deal to answer for. The Grammar School boys are now up to the neck in " The Transit of Venus. 1 ' Cairns, of the Star Hotel, has established a kind of aquarium in his back yard for turtles, of which ho receives a regular supply from the Islands. Abe Grood, of Tauranga, is about to take the yoke about him, the favoured one being Miss L., of Symonds-strect. Can't keep these things dark, eh, Abe. That little fracas in Albert-street on Sunday morning is familiarly known as "The Battle of the Bottles." Julius Cffisar ! A press of matter prevents further reference. It was really too bad of Harry, afc the Napier Spring Meeting, to leave those young ladies sitting in the buggy all day without speaking to them. The Clive man, will cut him out. Some people, after reading about the consumption of water at a certain public school during tho past six months being 21 gallons per minute, want to know if the Grand Bashaw haa " water on the brain." We have received a copy of the report and balance-sheet of the New Zealand Land Settlement Company (Limited), presented at the first annual meeting of shareholders on the 7th. ult. An anxious enquirer wants to know whether Tom has left the quiet church at Mount Eden, because a certain young lady o£ amiable disposition and good address has rejected Ms addresses. The following is a specimen of rejected addresses, taken haphazard from our waste-paper basket : — " Mister Obrine was very attentif to Miss — ■— in the instute has jerry an him had a foight agin ?" The Rev Moses Breach, in a published letter to the Presbytery, anent the Taranaki Presbyterian row, says " his preaching days are done." That s so Moses. Mr Fenlon is still "fiddling" wifch the Eingifces to get them to return and settle on the confiscated lands assigned. He is sanguine of producing " harmony among them. One of the most pleasing sights to a hungry man is Canning's new premises in Queen-street, just opened, and furnished in a style equal to anything South of the Line. h Plucky little Jimmy Poole has opened a double on the Auckland Cup and Steeplechase, and a treble on the Auckland, Wellington, and Duuedin Cups, at the Occidental Hotel. The Bey. J. Gfolden will read an original poem, "Old Dick, the Prophet," in the Lome-street Hall on Monday evening, in aid of tl-e new Presbytery of St. James", Pukekohe. The newly appointed (Governor in Western Australia is the hnsband of Lady Barker, the authoress of an amusing work, "Station Life in New Zealand," and who was formerly a resident in Canterbury. The Rev. Q-. S. Walpole, the new incumbent of St Mary's, was a passenger from Sydney by the mail steamer, and inducted to his charge by the Bishop on the evening of his arrival. Ho will he an accession to musical as well as ecclesiastical circles. The Young Women's Institute will have to be placed in the list of " sturdy beggars." First it was funds, now they are notifying through the Press that they want vegetables', or any other " unconsidered trifle." The railing at the foot of Beresford-streefc was put np to protect pedestrians from straying over the embankment at night, and not for the purpose of a perch for lovers who regularly resort there in the ©yanings. That wondrous picture of Q-lengrovo, exhibited at a well-known land mart during the week, has been very justly described as "a work of art." It has been privately explained that it was a piece of "Sharpe" practice. It has a very greenery- j ellery look. Mr Mumford tells us that the chief reason of our representatives getting long scores in the South is that he supplied most of them with ball-proof bats, warranted to score, of which, he has j ust received a fresh. supply. Messrs Bass and Co., the famous brewers of England, have opened an agency in Auckland, under the care of Messrs John Eeid and Co., who now supply orignal barrels of nine -gallons or upwards, as received direct from tho brewery. One of the latest ways of making money in a certain Tobacconist shop in Queen-street is by cheating l>oy messengers out of change, and palming off one kind of cigarette on them for another, when they are sent out by their employers. It was very wrong of that young lady to invite Jack up to see her last Sunday night if she knew that the one lie is "gone on" would be there. We don't mean to say that she knew about ifc; but it looked awfully like — well, no matter. A eertaih ingenious debt collector in a country district has hit upon a novel method of obtaining cheat} dinners. He gives each of the debtors a turn about mnnertime. Sometimes the debtor pays to gob rid of him, b\it more frequently, it is not convenient, and he is mollified with an invitation to dine. Next time he calls in the morning or afternoon. It is eaid he is growing •qoltefatonit,

Times are so dull in a certain township that the village earponter proposes to pay his apprentice in music lessons. Up at Mongonui some members of the County Council hold a rehearsal over whisky and cheese before each meeting. It is said that champagne bottles have been found in the hack camp 3 in Northern Queensland, " Jacky Jaeky " is evidently going ahead. The Whangarei bottler is in trouble. He has lost two suiss. The first was against a lady at the Heads, and the second was a case in which a lady sued him, not for his heart, but for board and residence. The -verdict in the case was a corker. The " soft goods man " gave an evangelistic address the other night on " The Fall." A draper, on a back seat, with a keen sense of the ridiculous, and a fragrant recollection of a recent rencontre, instinctively ejaculated—" Now, come, none o' yer lovfciugs 1" Two ladies had a set-too on Tuesday night in Queen-street, near the Theatre Royal. A. good deal of "banged" hair got banged about. Friends separated the combatants, but the little difficulty is to be finished out in the Domain on Saturday. — It was rumoured in town yesterday that a split-up had occurred in the Tambour Major Opera Company. We are pleased to be able to contradict the report on the authority of Mr Vernon, who telegraphed us that it is utterly without foundation. — Mr Fisher's Vaudeville Company left for Tauranga yesterday. The proprietor informs us that he intends to strongly augment his company at Christmas, and to visit the Thames. Amcng the additions to the Company will be Mr Alfred Campbell, the pleasing baritone. It is rather rough on Mr Wills, shoemaker, of Otahuhu, and chairman, of Major Harris' Commitee, to brand him as a practical "snob." He should rather be regarded as a patriot of the first watsr, seeing he has dedicated his "little awl" to the service of his country. One of the latest dodges in some of the country districts for securing temporary immunity from criticism in the Observer is to go about boasting that the names of correspondents can be ascertained from the editor. At least this plan has been successfully tried at Kaitaia. Mr J. 3?. 'Lepine, the masculine Worth, of Wakefield-street, has already made big boom in that locality, and is creating .quite a sensation among the girls by the improvement he has infused into the personal appearances of their beaux. James Clare, whose name used to be a household word amongst yachtsmen and the lovers of nautical amusements, has recommenced business in his old shop, Customhouse-street West, where he is prepared to build yachts and boats on. shortest notice. It is said thai during the present week spouses have been paying more attention to the ironing of their husband's shirts and the general get wp of their linen. An indication that they are thoughtful readers of the daily papers, and are coming to the conclusion that woman's mission with the flatiron is played out. How cruel of that young lady to tell a certain youuE; man, the last time lie went to see her, that she wouldn't be in town again for three weeks, and then como to town so often, since and not call to see him. He says he could forgive her for fibbing, but to see her walking down Queen- street with another fellow. Why, damme it's too bad. We have to acknowledge the receipt of the third number of Le Neo Z6landais. It contains able articles on "Patriotism in Art," " Viniculture," correspondence, and selections for French students. There are also articles on " The Fifth. Concert of the Auckland Philliarinonic Society," aud the pi'oduction of "Tambour Major," etc. A rubicund-visaged gentleman at Napier was rather surprised the other day when he -was interrupted in his amorous dalliance by the irate husband and treated like a big drum—in fact worse, as drums are usually beaten, not kicked and jumped upon. Still, he must console himself with, the thoup-ht that he has had a very good innings. Matters are getting vei'y high-toned at the Auckland lockup. The other night two internes were discussing philosophical questions in French and German. They wanted a couple of pints of beer in the morning, or " a hair of the dog that bit them," but as the Government establishment is run on temperance principles, their wishes could not be complied with. Mr W. Bridson and family left by the Wanaka for Wellington, where he is to be the new Eegistrar of the Native Lands Court. The Pitt-street Wesleyan Church trustees, of the choir of which place of worship he has been choirmaster for nearly 20 years, presented him with a purse containing 100 sovereigns on his departure. The- lawyers of Auckland have also made a similar presentation to him. " Lord," exclaims old Fuller in his " Personal Meditations" — " grant me one suit, which is this: deny me all suits which are bad for me " (page IS). Had the famous author lived in these times the one suit he would have prayed for above all earthly thing 3 would have been a suit made by that incomparable architect of human environment — Mr I. Phillips, of Queen-street. Some months back four knights of the brush and a tonsorial artist, who had gone to "that bourne from whence no bachelor e'er returns," entered into a sweep, the compact being that the first one who " wet its head" should collar the pool. It is said one of the painters is now hopelessly out of the running. The barber is of opinion that he will make a close " shave " of it, and win by a nose on the post. Further developments are awaited -with animosity in order to see whether his confidence is justified. There is a good story told just now of how townships are worked off. A township was surveyed about 100 miles from Auckland, and on the map a flue corner allotment was marked as " reserve for a Publis Hall." The allotments about the hall site went at a good price. Th.c hall site was never put into a trust or trustees appointed, and the other day the allotment holders in its vicinity discovered, it is rumoured, that the reserve had been sold by tho township proprietor privately to a private purchaser. They are very indignant, as might be naturally expected, and desire good faith should be kept, or a fresh public hall site of equal value given in its place. Behold him ! How airily he treads T He seems to walk on grass without brushing the dew. Corns nor bunnions he wots not of. He has never felt their malign, influence. " The ladies call him sweet, The stairs, as he treads on them, kiss his feet." For does he not wear a pair of Garrett Bros, matchless hoots, which nothing in the world can beat. Reader, as a humble Christian, bo warned in time. Keep thy Jeet from strange paths. Beware of the Pilgrim's fearful bunion's progress, and buy Garrett Bros, boots ; pay for them, and you will be safej wear them, and you will live long and die happy. On dit that the Rev Thos. Hodgson, pastor of the Pitt-street Free Methodist Church, has resolved to relinquish his pulpit aud leave the communion of which he has been so long an exponent. It is said that Mr Hodgson haa advanced far beyond Free Methodism in his theological belief and thai;, too honest to adopt the not uncommon clerical practice of secretly cherishing heretical convictions, whilo outwardly conforming to orthodox canons, he has determined to be true to his convictions, come what may. Of such a spirit were the martyrs of old. The Free Methodists lose a good man for they bav# been receiving at his hands the healthy sentiments of common sense, instead of the milk and water namby-pambyiam which is so generally dispensed from our pulpits. There was a great sensation in iffobson-streefc the other day, great rejoicings upon the harp, upon the tabret, and the cymbals. The most casual observer (and as luck would have it, our very own " casual " happened to be on the spot in. the nick of time) could hot fail to be struck with the animated expression on the countenances of the residents in that go-ahead locality. Had a gold mine been discovered ? Had half-a-dozen of the people dropped in for legacies, or had old „ Greenwoy, in a sudden outburst of prodigality, shouted ' for all hands ? No, my dear Christian "friends, it wag none of these things. It was simply the fact that Crombie, the talented and versatile proprietor of the Prince of Wales Hotel, had opened his new hotel, and was receiving tho congratulations of his thousands of friends. The Whau butcher boy is anxious to meat our correspondent, and would in fact be ready to have a joint combat with. him. What has riled our gory friend is the correspondent's pretending to be able to teach him, and his further insinuating that Miss H. is in want

of a sweetheart for November 7th, 1883. The butcher professes his willingness to take his first lesson on that particular day, and hopes our correspondent will keep himself free for the engagement. There is ample time for training, hut we advise our correspondent, in a pti+ernal way, and with all the authority o£ experience, not to be diddled by so thin a dodge. It is too plainly apparent that the butcher only desires to draw, not a red herring, but a rump steak across the seent — in fact, to get our man out of the running altogether. If our correspondent does not euchre the butcher by marrying the girl out of hand, he should certainly cut 'him out on the 7th November, 1883. Curiosity prompted us the other day to jot clown, the names of some Celestial gentry who made tracks out of the Colony with, their precious swags. They are as follow : — Sing Kee, Ah Young, Ah Hung, Ah Soy, Lee Gum, lo Hee, Joe Chung, Cheng Kong, Some Jum. The cute Chong Kong Went to Hong-Kong, For here he wouldn't pine, all ! And fat Sing Kee Has left, Lo Hee Has gone away to China. That youth. Ah Young, Has fled— Ah Hung He should be ; it was fine, ah ! To see Lee Gum Pick up Some Jum, And take him off to China. That pig-tailed boy, Known as Ah Soy, Has gono home to his Dinah ; Joe Chung's away — " No sabby stay ! Me welly good in China !" The following are the weights for the three events at Mangawhare :— Hurdle Handicap, 20 aovs. — Kaipara Kate, lOst ; Carry Beef, lOst ; Hector, lOst ; Garry Owen, lOst ; Harold list 21b ; Chanticleer, list 101 b ; Harry Mount 12st 31b. Maogawhare Cup Handicap, 40 soys.— Harold, 9st 31b ; Harry Mount, Bst 101 b ; Swarrowton, Bsfc 31b ; Rita, Bst ; Toby, 7st 71b ; Carry Beef, 7st. Publican Purse Handicap, 15 soys. — Harold, Bst 101 b; Bita, Bst 31b ; Harry Mount, Bst 31b ; Swarrowton, Bsfc ; Toby, 7st 51b. An interesting point is now engaging the attention of the Auckland bar. Is Buckland's sale yard a fair or a place of amusement so far as a licence to sell beer is concerned, and does the word fair come from foire (Norman French) or through. Italian fieri? The bullock punchers don't care whether it is foire or fieri, all they want is a " fair " chance at a long beer. Give them the beer, and the question of the sale-yard being a place of amusement will soon be settled. The billiard-roora in connection with the favourite Occidental Hotel has recently been taken over by Mr P. Hawkes (late of the s.s. Wellington) and Mr J. O'Brien. Several judicious alterations in connection with the lighting of the table 3, arrangement of the seats, &c, have been made during the past week, and will no doubt be found to have added greatly to the comfort of the saloon. Two first-class tables have been procured — one by an English, maker, the other being one of Alcock's celebrated Colom'al-inade tables, specially imported by Messrs E. and A. Isaacs. — The Recital of Sacred Music at the Trinity Church, Devonport, on Wednesday evening, proved Tery successful. The executants were the members of the choir, with the assistance of friends from Auckland; Mr Beale, the organist, being conductor. The following is the programme : — Hymn 192, A. and M., in unison ; prayers j cantate, Goss in C.j solo (euphonium), "Nazareth"; "Deus Misereatur," Goss in C.j solo, "How Beautiful," Miss Linton ; Hymn 230, A. and M. (Ist tune), in unison; address by the Incumbent; solo, "O Rest in the Lord," Mrs C. Burgess ; solo, Organ (during which a collection was made in aid of the Pulpit Fund); duet with chorus, " I Waited for the Lord," Mrs C. Burgess and Miss Burgess ; solo, Organ ; anthem, " Blessed by the God and Father"; hymn 304, A. and M.; and Benediction.