No. V.—The Last "Trumpet." January 25, 1883.—Morning.

Observer, Volume 5, Issue 116, 2 December 1882, Page 184

No. V. — The Last "Trumpet." January 25, 1883.— Morning.

Only seven people now remain, including the "devil" and ourselves. This will be the last issue of the "Trumpet," as the crash must take place before evening. The comet's nucleus now appears as large as the sun, and is about two degrees distant from him, while the earth i 8 enveloped in the tail. As a consequence of the drying up of the peas, all our extinct volcanoes are showing signs of activity. The only surviving clergyman is composing an original (?) hymn, beginning — " Farewell, vain world ! I'm going Home !" We agree with the farewell ; but don't know about going Home, if it's to be as hot as this. The other four survivors are lawyers, and are fighting over land transfer and titles. January 25 — -Noon. The comet is now revolving round the sun like a monstrous Catherine wheel. Fire is falling in all directions from the sky, and the seventy volcanoes of Auckland are sending back responsive fires. Our frozen chamber is getting unbearably hot, and the " devil " is wriggling aboufc in agony in the lye-trough. The spectacle outside is magnificent ; pity there are so few to see the show ! Later. The comet now makes a complete revolution of the sun every five minutes ; volcanoes, accompanied by fearful explosions, are breaking out all over the earth's surface. The four " devil's own,"while disputing over boundaries of property, were overwhelmed in one of these volcanic eruptions, and " went Home " in sulphurous smoke and flame. 2 p.m. Auckland is in flames ; her streets and harbour are in one mass of liquid lava. The heat is suffocating. We shall hold on a little longer, and issue an extra at 3 o'clock, giving to the human "race " the result of the " final heat." "Trumpet" Extra, Jan. 25, 1883, 3 p.m. The Comet and the Sun are going to finish a " dead heat " ; the collision approaches, for our " devil " has recovered, and is laughing, wildly. Ten thousand thunderbolts ! The Sun and the Comet have struck —we shall also "strike" shortly. Bang ! Bang ! FFiz z —z — z — z ! ! ! [Note. — The above records, preserved in a fire-proof safe, have just been dug up from the ruins of Queen-street by a party of Maoris who are exploring for a site for a new city, in the year 1, N.M. (Novum Mundus). Another party is on its way to London Bridge. — See Macaulay.]