Untitled

Observer, Volume 4, Issue 102, 26 August 1882, Page 380

BRIEFMENTION

':' Ea'chafological is; the new name of a spelling bee.."'--/' ; -' „. • ■ _ ■'.'. _" . ■_ ','. \., ~ iDr 'Hbneyrroon-gave a dinner party last ought at his residence in Syinonds-street. A .'■, 1$ is amusing to hear the Man-Ksh talk about his brother, Billy Hoskins. , \ ' The lion. Thomas Russell is expected byl the incoming 'Frisco moil steamer. ■ , \ . ! • An article on the O'Grady case, '" Kissing omits trial," is held over till next issue. \ ■■; Ask Captain Barry about the box of money he left with the Maoris and what it contained when opene<\l.

The gay widower enjoyed the Onehunga dance , immensely. Further results may be looked for soon. \ Why does young D. wear those glasses ? Is it :'■ K ~e:ui.,e his 0//03 are weak, or to make his personal; ■ :opoiu-!i.r.cc; ii.or-o effective ? ' ' Ti-.e dance : n the Parnell Hall ou Thursday »: ph.., (;■: ren \\,~ Aifr Gudgeon and a select committee, was The Ac'h:r r'ising Bureau (Mr W.B. Langbride) ihis .'...fisllj s.-ut us a copy, of the "The Paper Trade ■To;-.-!!:,!."" vTiVir Upjolii!; the Melbourne hangman and ■ilofcrsjoj:, -J'-'t!'. -t : C> for each execution, and 10s for each winding- ho ii:J'.i.:tß.---j!O ny -a h'h .ore taking veiy kindly to the Japaiu'jsq oUii:';. s. Tli's I>rass buttons more than counter? Dfile.iice ;'u-:- tl.vv. sc and flat v iioses. • The 1 .-? >ras a . heelbarrow outside the Anckland Club In i<ifl '3 o rticr night. The inference is too shocking. •Gh, deuir— oh, dear. . Another breach of promise case is impending between a lady, who lately lived in Lome-street, and an ■'-. employ*! in one of the local foundries. A Waikato correspondent complains that some L of tho- contractors are in the habit of advertising for Ul more men than .hi:y require, in ordev to :eep down the m. rat? of " m? "Who :w" t!i'! L i.-s oti the A y .Viiuul Dramatic Sf -Be.oiofry '' .' t lireseij; . iir'-'o.oc<i in ■.l.yrfiacy/' okd is this ' The &L;.r of J'Y; i i.>'...Dm , ; ..«jc;.gc, 1.0 G-.T , willcele--1 < 7>vh l ». tii.-Ir Hit.h uruuwsury --o'i M"orrj.t/i e\ cning next | ;?•," i: .■j; il ';-'t Ixiil. it; the Tioi-.y.-st: .•0' li.'ill. htcf"' in.i;rH"!''HM TJbajnes comjiti'ijw.tj . L j';ut: i". T—iaetly. SaShe. rumour that "Dr" Cari.ee!>: Couisc:, tiie boss km . Two. independent mobs now fi^^^^^B"Be, Hss "With not a pin botween them Sgßißg"^" 8 ; HgHfr = r lead nor drive can eithragSlFobey, BBS One sign alone marks inaronve condition — <g f«it This mob is Im — , tutj other Op-position. mm SSffMre Mosajfi# on e of her pleasant little danaiS JHgflßji Tharaa^BWffi.f' (the 17th inst) . The floor is descril|«B him toanum.be>* of eery hi;a?.\ils sals "A^^^^^^^^^Bg 1 ingeniously enciauroai'ea to . - jvc roc.mljf^Pß&^the muffin >T.vgt't ' first t 1 r - -i jioad ijf'.aie days of Melchisidcoh. E^v^- ■ i mXii.--.-lwi thorn then. -Mr Men wauls to 'c Government . Trill give a bo:v.-. for tii« v Oi.-iiuu, If somebody would Adynm'-.-rpc a: ,od ' bhvtherskites" of tho House h-r- wo.:! „,>,ut>} iiirnself a public benefactor. The position of ail parties nficj. 1 the conclusion ' ef the O'Grady trial very' iuivjh ro e-uibled that of the ■ Commissioners at the coa - -i'"uon --Z tiae Treaty of Ghent, of whom it' was stated, "iiveiyr/od/ was pleased, but . nobody was proud." Mrs Campton has a singular way of expressing her gratitude to Mr James Kelly for rescuing her child from drowning. She thanks him, in one of the daily . journals, for his " mo.therly " kindness in acting as he , did. . This is rather rough on Kelly's " manhood." " BOOKS AND THE MAN." " Heap coals of fire," Pro-Consul Qi ey '- ' Thus teaches all the better way 1 To teach a once vindictive foe, Give him the highest trust, and show That praise for such a generous deed Prom such a one, is praise indeed ! A .Japanese idol of the first-class -will sellin London for £5000. But, of course, tho Japs won't sell "etn. So the museum, men sand out a missionary to , convert the Japs to Christianity, and then they have no : further use for the idol,' and give it to the missionary, nd he sends it home and makes a good thing out of it. ' Vincent Pyke wants to add a clause to the Fisheries Bill providing that if any fish or oyster be taken on a Sunday, Christmas, or Good Friday, a fine of . ■ £20 may be inflicted. When Pyke waa the " fishy " . chairman of Vincent County Council, at £400 a-year, he cleaned out the oyster from January to December. Tawhiao's matrimonial affairs are^ getting rather mixed. Parehauraki, erstwhile the reigning favourite, is eaid to. have retired to Kawhia "under a cloud." Poihaere, who impressively tapped Tawhiao's royal' : ." conk " vrith her gingham at the Whatiwhatihoo meetingi is now master and mistress of the situation, • . A lady contributor has been supplied by Mr W. Qrcen'shields of Shortland-street, with a pair of his " jfygienic iKneelcts," and says they fully bear out his lecommendation for comfortable wear ; also give sup- •'.-.- port when walking, and allow perfectly free movement .of the lower limbs, • , ■ . The Mutual Fire and Marine Insurance Oom- ■ pany . promises to be an. unqualified success. Over 70,000 shares have been taken up in the North Island alone. Mr Dobson, a gentleman of great experience, and possessed of the highest is the new ■ g« ineral manager. < An, Auckland contributor to a Thames paper ■ condescends to inform that journal, that he 'would not ' . put in three years penal servitude if he were ottered as many ten pound notes as he could eouut in a week. ' You must speak from experience, • old man; but never mind, you'll get in on lower terms when you receive your deserts; ' '..','' •..'•,■ . ■ ' '• , , -. . -' The young man paced the parlor, -WMloshc was brushing her teeth; ' , ■ "Andiie thought of. the gold and silver ' ■ -. • ' ' 'Of the daddy; who -vould bequeath: ! Tho old mail sat oh the.connter, With his head between his hands, And rejoiced', that his girl bod a lover ■ -.. Who would help him to meet his demands. •.Moral:— Both mistaken.^Nasty jars.. _ '/ .We have; 'much, pleasure in acknowledgitig receipt oi Mr Haiell's " aid book, on. grocefiil riding," in ■■wfii&b. tbss'avitubrti;oatg of the training and handling . of roi'.v.!.' jio^fiß, and also how to ride and school a, horee. . Jkli "xi \zeU- v/.m "for 12 years rough-riding sevgeant-inajor aiid jlrsV-ol'iiis tijnita-tion instructor in Her Majesty's. 'service, fit' that ho'fipeftks- wittt authority, .and. his l.>rochuro vUI hi ?:i;ad, with. interest by- equestrians of both sexea> The jiirliiig'Sohcfol -just .erected -by Mr t- Hazellon the Huw HortU Bond-w ill- be open on 3ton» |( day next; . ."".•' '■_■'.'■ '--,'"'

,The; library presented' by. Sir George Grey to the Cape was valued, at £50,0,00; ■It is/ of course, not ■possible to value, except approximately, the'library-he-has presented to -the citizens, of- Auckland, but, we believe it to be, of almost equal value with the former. .Is not this x^riicely munificence well worthy the eulogiums which Mr John Kelly sings in smooth and lofty.numbers in another part of this issue ? ". . : .Human nature is pretty much thesamain the. British sailor as the Japanese. On Sunday a party of the lattor hired horses, and were riding in the suburbs. One got a donkey, but' whether che animal thought it had the Tycoon or the Mikado on its. back is not known. However, it elevated him over its head. The "Jap" saluted mother earth kindly. • , -, ' The Defence Minister has presented a clock, sent from Wellington, to the Auckland Police-station. ■ The men are in doubt as to whether it is a geutle hint at to their being too "fast" or too "slow," and whether it is intended to regulate their movements for the future. There is no maker's name on it, so probably it has been won at a raffle, or is "My Grandfather's Clock." The Auckland Police Department will, for the future, go upon " tick." Councillor Hemus is " scooting " around the town to find that man who first put the standing ad, in the papers— " Wanted, a married couple,' without encuuibrauce." He just wants five minutes at or with ■him; he's not. particular which. "Happy is the man who has his quiver full " of "encumbrances," says Mr Heiaus, and such advertisements simply 'arrow his feelings. The bump of philoprogenitivenes3 must be abnormally developed iv this City Father. A sorrow-stricken proprietor of a boai'dinghouse sends the following wail over the high price of meat : — " How can mortal woman stand it ? What can mortal woman make, , j When one single man devours Two days' profits in a steak ? Who can struggle on, with sausage ! Going up twopence a pound, When your folks is so voracious, i That they look for two all round ? Our solution of the difficulty, missus, ia to give the boarders more hash. Why not dish up something in this style : — " They love it, they love it, although. they gnash Their teeth and chide me for giving 'em hash." The Auckland correspondent of the Bay of Plenty Tiniest, -writing on wife-beating, says.— "l know that my wife would bo as likely to thrash me as I would be to thrash her ; but if she tried it, she .would- come off second best." These little interpolations of one's own' ' domestic affairs are a new and interesting feature in newspaper correspondence, 'but our deliberate opinion is that the old woman (if she is not herself the correspondent; would have the best of it in a stand up fight, if she had fair play. Mr GL Hemus took occasion the other night to poke fun at his grandmother's "poke" bonnet. He said when she was wont in the good oli' f iMß>M^aßßßßsjfflj|wfflMf^OTrojffl^^Bffln)wj^^^^^ l'un in a " fa^^ot" on ijk* 1 3?arewell to cooing and to " spooning," And welcome family joys ; May wondrous " bargains" be his lot Until around him he has got I A dozen girls and boys. i I mean no dam/per when I pray j His "three shops" may be stormed some day j By youths and maidens fearless j The dslph they'll smash, the boots they'll wear 'em ; The clothes and ribbons fast they'll tear 'em. Yet Dampier shall be peerless ! It is said " there's a divinity doth hedge a King," but when the divine William penned tho senti- , ment the Waxworks had not been contemplated. The irrepressible Kohler has collared a likeness of Tawhiao, and the dusky monarch's figure will soon adorn the show. Last time Tawhiao was in Auckland he figured as the observed of all observers at the Choral Hall banquet, and everything was lovely and the schnapper hung " high." Next week he will figure at the Waxworks. There is but a step from the sublime to the ridiculous, and Tawhiao will take it, for " there's a divinity that shapes his ends'" (it's Kohler), and the Maori King is but wax in his hands. Capting Barry's modesty led him to omit one interesting fact from that whale story. Not only were ' he and his*coinpanions towed in mid-ocean by-the whale for three days, but the leviathan actually charged most exorbitantly for the job ; and though the captain argued and pleaded with all his fiery eloquence, the whale refused to forego his claim for salvage. Ultimately, however, the captain effected a compromise by telling one of his little nnecdotes in lieu of payment, and at the conclusion, the whate, doubtless feeling that his credit was at stake, started "blowing" in a way that the captain describes as truly terrific. Finally, the monster was so affected at parting with his entertaining friends that he fairly blubbered. At the G-rifiln spread one of the speakers emphasised his oration by making flourishes with a dinner knife. A poetical genius, who was present, being seized with a bad attack of the divine afflatus, threw off the following on his shirfc-cutf, and his treacherous laundress now attempts to palm it off as her own : — , Last Friday, at the farewell " spread," A knife he brandished o'er his head — It seemed a dangerous sport ; But as he poured his dry discourse, His weary hearers thought, of course, The knife might cut it short ! Like prophet old, in frenzy fine. He seemed to wield a measuring line, While pouring forth his soul - In that rapt vision, wild and grand, Of " one united Yankee-land, From Panama to Pole f" I've heard it said that bairns and fGols Should never play with keen-edged tools : How truthful seemed it now ! His " high-falutin' " compliment. Drew forth another, kindly meant, — " The town which Auckland's Mayor rules v Shall soon embrace the wide extent Froxn. Taruaki to Whau !"

Some idiot has been writing to a New Plymouth paper, stating that Major Nelson attacked the Puketakaure Pa against the orders of Colonel Gold. What rot ! The attack was made in jpnrsnance of a plan arranged between Nelson, Gold, and Commodore Seymour ; and Colonel Gold was to have co-operated from the Taranaki side with a force. He, came late to a river, halted, while Major Nelson's men were, bearing the brunt of the fight, and then coolly marched back to Taranaki, leaving the unfortunate Waitara division to,, be overwhelmed by the' Maoris, who were reinforced from the bush. The same veracious correspondent says :— " Colonel Gold afterwards reported Nelson's disobedience to the authorities at Home, with the result that Nelsou'was made paymaster of -the regiment, and never allowed to command again, Gold himself being promoted to Mdjor-Gerieral." This is a deliberate lie. Nelson was not made paymaster. ; he' remained .'in'cbmlnandof the Waitaia division after the action at Pyuketakaure, commanded the 40th "until: Colonel Leslie's arrival from Melbourne, and always remained second in command of the. corpß. „ :•-■,-.. ■. _it,L__l-»

; Mrs Bpttenelli still carries, on -business, in Hobaou-street. The paragraph in last; week's issue was a- mistake. _."/,'.''., ' ' '* • „:■ '-; .' , .'.'-, The Electric Light is determined to push itself forward, andas expense seemed, the only drawback, that item has ' l-ecently been . considerably. lessened, as to • place the lights within the means of nearly all classes. Messrs Oppenheimer and Co. are now booking orders for Swan's Incandescent Lamps, at the •• marvellously low figure of 5s each, and as the motive powerto use 12 of these lamps can be purchased for £40, we. hope to see the beautiful- new invention extended to Auckland. A " COOL-SON" OP THE PESTLi : ;i The "doctor" came down, and he had n<>t a "brown" (Bro.wn's'" blues" could scarcely have'less), As_ he roamed thro.ugh our town, on; his luck he was ■ " down." ■'"•■• ■ . , ,-j ■ ' Bttt his bcjC wasn't " down," you may guess ! Not for Chairity's s^ke his appeal did he rbake; But he spoite lilte-a, robber disdainful, ~'i "If a bob yo(i don't p OSR( I'll smash all yotir glass, . A duty I fe^l to. be panetul I"- . j Instead of a "bob" he got one lor his nob,' And a " bobby" appeared without warning-. And the Baron" et bold, 'as the papers have told, "Was presented at Court m the niorni/ng ! Oh ! where was the Captain, when rudely' they elapt in This Barry-nJte bold in the dock P ' In spite of all pleading, the "Doc's gone to '.'Eden, To pestle the hard flinty rock / To Te Pute^uku— G-o fforth my letter to my loving friend. Salutations to you in the land of Our ancestor Maui. Great is - thje darkness of my heart. Aue !- The great chiefs of thiis land and the tohungas of ESceter Hall forsook me in Ytbe hour of my distress, when the woman of the houselin which. I lived demanded ntu for my board. Great was \the anger of that female. I offered to marry her on the stobt if she would forego | the claim, but she had discovered that I was already a married man. -|E tcld her thac polygamy is ona of the Maori customs, anil that by tiye Treaty of Waitangi we are protected in the full enjoyment of our ancient privileges, but her heart was O, Mend, no one can make love here vfho is j-iot a policeman or a LifeGuardsman. I tried to get ;into one of those forces; but they said I was too sisjali [/-'Kakino ! Lastly, O, friend, when the Queen decliii.e.ol.to give me a E.C.B. and the Governorship c" •;.;v- /Jeß.'iiiid, the 'old ladies and the parsons refu.'-.i ;■■ sr.bwribe ViO/iey. The black suit, the broad-b) iiu.tn;ct b ;.* , <uni tbv white tie I have entrusted to tlu, f .<irc ri :' ;nn with three golden balls over bis <;oor, '.-.; d tb.: or.-iots and good books I have sold to ■>'. pti tuba uho t'ellu butter and cheese. Ido not want tc bn.-don inyseif wiib too much luggagejon the passage out. Tire T^.L.;hh,h mm is very strong. I salute you. 1 Hooi u;w, — i-: -jv your loving friend, Stdnet. vtNEW £E.-S.?;AKD .VOJN.G,MEN. I To H't.iv &eaianct'fl us:, -jl y^ung :uvu. Tjvuediv. Ds'i'ttHyM. A nioL. jolly loi; of youiig 1 m&v., Enough money tv pop yo;>.n? ivon ■. Dress ver;; Htyliolilj', Flirt, oh ! so ;;uik-:5..:;-", Sociable, nice young Eien. Gisboi'iit Jokers. 1 Pond of the Billiard Cue young men Capital horsemen too young' men, They never say kahore, Though invited in Maori, When a liquor they're asked to do young man. ! When will the Government light the staircase ! and upper corridor of the Police Station buildings with \ gas? The other nig-ht a young lady, who had occasion. [ to attend Sergt.-Major Pardy's 9 o'clock levee upstairs i positively refused to go up the corkscrew staircase in the dark, and "sound her perilous way* along the corridor. She therefore remained downstairs in the guard-room with the interesting young turnkey until dueh. time as "Mahomet came to the mountain," inasmuch as the mountain would not go to Mahomet. As long as Deteetivo Strathearn remained single, "beauty in distress " on the staircase or in the corridor never lacked assistance ; but now that he has joined the " noble army 'of martyrs" he leaves such duties severely alone, and there is no bachelor left in the detective staff as his successor. This may be regarded as gas, bus it spinily arises from the want of it; LOVE'S YOUNG DREAM REVERSED. Let poet's rave 'till they are weary About " Love's young dream" — as A light that ne'er can shine again, On this life's turbid stream. , It may be true — or it may not, I really do not care ; But I know a pair of loveyers Whore neither young nor fair. Her form is of the " rawbone" stylo, Skinny — but noways slim ; And yet, in all the wide, wide world Are none so fair to him. Her skin is like a " sugar bag," And coal-black is her hair ; At least, the lot she bought, is black, And little else is there. He says her eyes are prominent, (!) And so indeed they are, They stick out like a grasshoppers, Whon gazing at a star ! I often wonder how that man, Can dewy kisses sip Because her bread-and-butter teeth Protrude beyond the lip. ' Her boots— oh, never mention them, , Her size is number eight ; . With knitted hose of equal width, To give her warmth and weight. The man is growiug old and grey, So solve it if you can. Why he that woman does adore ? dr she admire thai; man ? The most wonderful and satisfactory bargain Mr Dainpier has ever made was effected on Tuesday afternoon at half-past three o'clock, when he was united in marriago with Miss Mary Moonoy, a charming brunette, at St Patrick's Cathedral. Long before the appointed time the church was densely crowded with a mixed assemblage, principally ladies of various ages, with a fair sprinkling of children, who kept iip such a chatter during the ceremony, that the voice of the officiating priest. Rev. Father Walter Macdouald was sometimes completely drowned. Outside the doors four or five hundred people were congregated who' could not obtain standing-room within. Shortly before the time appointed the bridegroom, accompanied, by < Mr E. F. Miller, one of his groomsmen, entered the building,, and immediately afterwards the bride was led in on the arm of Mr J. Badge, and accompanied by eight bridesmaids. As they entered -Miss Kirby played the " Wedding March," in her usual accomplished style. The arrival of the bridal party caused intense excitement, the people standing on the seats, and exhibiting the utmost anxiety to obtain a sight of the young ladies. .The bride looked bewitching in a cream, cashmere dress, trimmed, with cream silk, a long train, edged with a thickly-pleated rueb.6, handsome g-old chain and locket, satin "shoes, with orange blossoms,- wreath of orange blossoms, and long white tulle veil, ..-.The following were the bridesmaids, Miss McDonald, white muslin, with saSh of crimson •;•' satin, wreath ' of- white and . crimson.' flowers ; Miss ' ..Steyerisbri, white . lustre^ trimmed" with. cardinal' sateen ;" Miss Riordan; cream sateen, Withcardinal, trimmings ; y , Miss p;G,rady,ereti'm' dress .with ea^am coloured trimmings, j -Miss Brian^, white musliii; dross with .bbae^trimijiinges ;-31iss -Robbj white .muslin with ,blue sn^feh sash ; ' Miss WestphftlL felitfeßilfeliiisUifef

cloth with cream lace fcriia'mingal All ' .th'eiliHsssP wore cqiffared . composed, of, wyeatha'of mszEwSß® bridal party having .kneeled in- froM bf.'tfa^M^.^ Eev. Father Walter MacdonaldVsaid' iect of grreai pleasure that so highly respe6tahwfSfcs-* fluential a congregation had assembled to WifclEPsf c . intercstingr ceremony, as it -showed -..the ' MtlsHßlf® respect entertained for the happy : - couple. '-~ftgsH&'(tfl many gatherings InSt Patrick's ,■ Cathedral otf^Kw; similar to this, but r had never .witnessed sypH^efc" and influential assemblage as was now pregent^aHP^^ be' gratifying to Mr Danipier that he had^t^SK- I '"'^ much public respect, audas for the bride it '^E^ interest in her most happy position. Thcr^^^.na'i doubt that the union would be a happy one' : »sß^W' could truly and honestly say that this marW'Sf^imade in Heaven. He would not detain thgWiM®!^ because he felt sure that this large and iS»i)???|l audience were anxious to see the ceremony-^omS**""' and to wish the couple every,.blessing and afi])V2MK«:-V-After the usual exhorbatipu.the ceremony was coi^H ??■ '■' '■-'■ and the bridal party proceeded to.the vestry tbJjß^" r registry. They were then driven off in fcna-taR"-^"'• ; pointed carriages amidst the congratulations- otBB' ""' friends to enjoy their honeymoon. The earritoiMß - provided by Mr Crowther. ■ . .• ™H ■.■•,■ ■"'-