The Observer.

Observer, Volume 4, Issue 97, 22 July 1882, Page 290

The Observer.

Saturday, July 22nd, 1882. a jury of 3iale matrons. Were anyone to insinuate tliat any members of the City School Committee possess the attributes of old women, he would be in danger of becoming a martyr to truth. Nevertheless it is somewhat singular that ono or two members of that august body should be desperately anxious to usurf) some of the most delicate duties of which aged matrons liave hitherto enjoyed an undisturbed monopoly. When tlie committee met in solemn conclave the other evening, one of the members ventured, with no little diffidence, to broach a subject as 2_reoarious as a loaded torpedo or cracked ice, and he appears to have accomplished the feat with all the agile grace of an irritated Jumbo, or a whale in the flounders of its last " flurry." <$. _ With all tho solemnity proper to the occasion and the theme, he announced to his colleagues that a young woman who fulfilled the high and responsible position of charwoman of one of the schools was — well, not to put too iine a point on it, in a fair way of adding a unit to the population column of the next census returns. The ..committee was awe-struck. To use the expressive words of Jeames Plush, " you might have knocked them down witli a feather." Their horror increased in intensity when they were furthermore informed that the affair had excited the curiosity of the young ladies attending City East School — a circumstance which had not escaped the vigilance of Messrs Worthington ond McArthur. Matters reached a climax, when the committeeman declared, as if announcing some dreadful calamity, that the expected catastrophe threatened to occur at any moment. ■ — —^?. — — The matter was declared urgent, and tho meeting resolved itself into a commitee of the whole to consider ways and means. After a great deal of discussion of a highly interesting and sensational nature, which was unfortunately not taken down in shorthand, a gleam of sunshine broke through the cloud and gloom in which the subject was enveloped. It was agreed, on the motion of Mr McMasters, that Messrs. Knight' and Thwaites should form a committee of investigation. We are convinced that no one will question the qualification of these two gentlemen for the position of a jury of matrons. They are both married men, as well as fathers, and they may be ci'edited with some experience in this branch of natural history. Mr Thwaites, as a shipwright will be in a position to ascertain how this important secret " leaked out " as well as to pronounce a reliable opinion as to whether the little craft is -" on the stocks," and is to be fairly .launched on the sea of humanity. Mr Knight, as one who has been long accustomed " to pitch it strong," will no doubt be put on his " mettle," by the onerous nature of his responsibilities. Whether any of the committee are " tarred with the same brush " will also come within the legitimate scope of his inquiries. It is rumoured however, that he is somewhat "gravelled " over the aifair. It does not seem to haye occurred to any of the committee to ascertain whether or not the lady is married — which formed an essential ingredient in the 'question. .