TAURANGA JOTTINGS.

Observer, Volume 4, Issue 96, 15 July 1882, Page 282

TAURANGA JOTTINGS.

— Who was tlio solicitor that annexed fclic chair? — The bread has been so bad lately that Mrs Gillacuddy wonders how the " children can domesticate it." — Two more victims of the Hymenal epidemic. Mr David Hnrvey has joined Miss Calloway, and Adam's " eve "-1 genus has prompted him to annex Miss Edwards. — He had indulged. — Who was the well-known sporting 1 man seen on the Cameron-road sharing his horse with a companion, while endeavouring' to leap the unforturiate animal over the telegraph wires ! — A dance, to celebrate tho breaking up Mrs Alexander's class, took place in the Temperance Hall on Tuesday evening. There was a good attendance of members and others, and dancing- was kept up with unflagging vigor until midnight. — If the overgrown larrikin who took such pains to make a little boy drunk at a recent dance had the consequences of his stupidity visited upon himself occasionally, he would soon become less bold in his evildoing. — It is astonishing to observe the lack of common elementary knowledge displayed by some writers in the public Press. The Auckland correspondent of one of our local papers writes of Messrs Porter and Co. having imported a machine for " manufacturing electricity." — Mr T. Crump made a good investment, when he took out an Accident Insurance policy several months ago. No sooner was everything right than he sprained his ankle and enjoyed a lengthy recovery on the company's funds. Now he is a second time a pensioner on the one policy. Verily to him thn b hath, unto him shall be given ; or, to him that hath a policy shall be granted many accidents. — The intelligent compositor who manipulated last week's "Jottings" must have constituted himself an impromptu divorce court. He metamorphosed Sirs into Misses with a perfect looseness. I would advise that young- man to go to the States, where his talents would be appreciated. He could give a Yankee Judge points in undoing the parson's work with celerity. — It wasn't very nice of a Times reporter to take a private letter from Dr Gnsscott off an office table without leave, and then to publish it after being told not to do so. Exposing the most cherished secrets of our breast, indeed ! Besides Charley says that he looks a perfect cure without hair, and if the herbalist is to charge ten beautiful note 3 for making a perfect cure of him with hair, why ho might just as well remain as he is and invest his superfluous cash in Kotorua Railway shares. . — Commodore Wilson sought admission to the tradesmen's class one night. The door-keeper informed him that tradesmen only were eligible. " But I'm a coal merchant," replied Hawker. " A coal merchant is not a tradesman, besides you don't get in here without an invitation," retorted the door-keeper. Then, as the rejected vendor of black diamonds in*ved dejectedly away, utterly crushed under tho rebuff, ttie door-keeper remarked, sotto vocn, to a friend, " You know we must draw the line soniewnere, and I draw it at coal hawkers." — Two young men, who made their way within the charmed circle of the Wednesday night spree, were interviewed by the polite M.U: "I suppose you are aware this is private," he freozingly inquired. " I suppose that's the straight tip to shunt," remarked one of the intruders. " You've said it," laconically replied the M.C. "Then let us see the man to put us out." Well, they didn't exactly see him, because the propelling force was applied at their rear ; but before the words were well uttered, they were at a sufficient attitude to take a bird's-eye view of the surrounding scenery, and by the time they regained mother earth, they reckoned they wouldn't dance that night.