SUGGESTIONS FOR CENSUSES.

Observer, Volume 4, Issue 86, 6 May 1882, Page 126

SUGGESTIONS FOR CENSUSES.

We are quite surfeited with the church census, and with the censures of the censors of the census ; and no one in his senset caves a cent, for any more census. We want a change. Give us the woodpecker. "We have sketched out a few brand new suggestions for census, which we present to the Star gratis : — 1. The number of old maids in Auckland. 2. Ditto the bachelors. 3. The number of " highly respected citizens " who have made private Deeds of Arrangement with their creditors, and how many times in each individual case. 4. Ditto, ditto, bankruptcy. 5. The number of men in the various publichouses during chm'ch hours. 6. The number of churchwardens who sneak in by the back entrance to the pubs, after church hours. 7. The number of young fellows who don't go to church, but wait at the church doors for their girls when they come out. 8. The number of times Abbott has repeated " Man's inhumanity to man." etc. 9. The number of disreputable tenants of the City Council. 10. The number of cats that disturb . the slumbers of the citizens on moonlight nights. 11. The number of lies told during a general election, showing the average for each candidate, canvasser and elector. 12. The number of " enormous sacrifices " made by the drapers in "selling off," and the total amount (if any) sacrificed. 13. The number of men who have " dropped down " dead, as compared with the number who have " dropped up " dead. When these topics have received the attention they deserve, we shall be glad to suggest more.

Mrs E. Honiberg, who lias been curing any amount of children of the worms, is going to pay Coronmndel a visit, and will be at that place on a visit on May 8th — remaining at the Temperance Hotel for a few days. Motheis wishing to consult Mrs Honaberg respecting their children are requested to bring their children with them.. . . :- The London Arcade, Queen and Victoria streets, has added another department, viz., one of books, to its numerous attractions to the public. A choice assortment of standard works by well-known authors, handsomely bound, and at the most reasonable prices, is the i first instalment ; arid these will bo from time to tilne ■ supplemented by fresh consignments from England, Ml- . Goodson havingiumself gone thither for the purpose of UayHMbro a stocic of the latest and freshest gppfts- pxp^ I cuisb%%i the English and foreign markets. * -c^" -"■" v