TAURANGA JOTTINGS.

Observer, Volume 4, Issue 86, 6 May 1882, Page 122

TAURANGA JOTTINGS.

— Yet more amateur theatricals. A company of young lady and gentleman amateurs will make their debut on the boards in three or four weeks. They have two farces in hand. — The Say of Plenty Times astonished its myriad readers on Thursday morning by reappearing 1 as a daily journal, but strangely altered in size and appearance. It was probably prematurely bora. However by Friday morning it had " growed " to its normal size. — The hematite lode, discovered at Aongatete, is likely to add a material element of prosperity to the district. The prospectors say there is an inexhaustible supply of it, and are very sanguine as to their further success.- A good quartz reef also exists in the vicinity. — Charley Turner thinks I was too cruelly sarcastic when I described him as one of the best dressed youths on the cricket ground, at a time when ho was up to his neck in a kaimai swamp, wielding his sceptre (a long-handed shovel) before a mixed audience of squatting aboriginals — It shows how completely the animosity between North and South has died out, when an old Virginian like our Town Clerk feels no compunction in harbouring a northern spy. It is true that the intruder was located in the orchard, but still, his progeny often appear at the same table as the Southerner. — Mrs Alexander's dancing class is a success •this season. It is held on Tuesday evenings, and so far, has been well patronised. I hear there is a "select" squad-drill assemblage meets on Wednesday evenings, which prides itself on its exclusiveness. In order to remain "select" it religiously excludes anyone who belongs to the Tuesday evening class. They don't feel it bad. — A newly -wedded couple, who recently drove to the lakes in a one horse shay, were observed on their road by a solitary wayfarer. Unwilling to disturb their felicity by intruding his unwelcome presence, he secreted himself until they passed. A.s they approached his hidiug place, he saw the bride incline her graceful head towards her mate, and heard her murmur in honeyed accents into his attentive ear " What ? Why, whip him up Jim. Whip him hard. We're not going fast onough. Here, give me that ! " Evidently love does not make the heart grow softer. — The youthful helpmeet of one of our recently spliced farmers was observed the other day feeding the calves out of a korosine tin. One of them, dazed by the beauteous vision before him, thrust his head rather far into the tin, and was unable to withdraw it. Directly the poor beast elevated his head, with its strange covering, the contents of the tin went into his nose and eyes, and streamed down his infantine neck. This caused him to career round the paddocks, knocking his extraordinary head gear against every obstacle, and incontinently ramming his fellow bovines, until he had the whole farm stock in motion. And what do you think the lady did ? She just laughed, and clapped her hands, and laughed again, and never went to the poor beast's assistance. Canned calf's head evidently excited her risible faculties. — " I see, football is to begin this week," remarked a townsman to mo the other morning. " Yes ; do you play ? " said I. " No ; but I was reading a splendid account of a football match in a book lately. I don't know anything about the game, but it almost made me wish I did. You see, it was a school match, and one crowd were too strong for the others ; but a boy of the weaker team, you un'evstan,' made a vow to his sweetheart that he'd win the game. Well, the stronger side were carrying all before them, you un'erstan,' when suddenly, this boy, in the midst of a row on scrimmage (I think you call it) got hold of the goalpost. He made a gallant rush, but was taken half back, you un'erstan.' He didn't give it though, but by dint of hacking and butting, you un'erstan,' got through his opponents. Unfortunately just as he got into touch, he tripped over the goal line, and fell down exhausted. There was a maul, during which a number of the other team chucked the ball at his head, and threw him off it, you nu'erstan.' Then he was brought out bleeding all over, and kicked off. After some desultory drop-kicking " That's all I heard, for at this moment I bolted round the corner and left xny friend in the midst of his graphic description. The only way I can account for that man's want of knowledge, is, that he does'nb read tho Observer. He must have spent his life acquiring ignorance.

SKOSMO