QUEER STORIES.

Observer, Volume 4, Issue 82, 8 April 1882, Page 56

QUEER STORIES.

PBACODtITS BABY.

a thrilling story for country readers. By " Attthomathes.".

TjSe 'great event in Cockatooville was the birth of. the Peacoddys' first baby. Beside that supremely important occurrence, every other domestic episode dwindled into insignificance. .Even the approaching gum-diggers' ball, which had exercised . the iniijds of the Cockatoovillians for the previous / fortnight,' was temporarily forgotten in the trem'endousl significance of this new topic of conversation. ' The fame of Peacoddy's baby spread far and "wide. Nothing else was talked of in the .Cockatooville Arms, the store, and the smithy. The bushman, as he blew the froth off his " deep sinker," and drew a long breath, preparatory to the mighty draught, paused before the customary \ "Here's luck," to remark inter alia — "So old j Peacoddy's wife's got a baby!" The thrifty housewives, as they carefully stowed the family groceries in their kits, and surveyed the sides of bacon suspended from the rafters ; the weary j wayfarer, as he replied to the stereotyped interrogatory; " What's the news ?" and the settler, as I he smoked his pipe while his horse was being shod at the smithy, uttered the portentous observation : "So mother Peacoddy's got a baby !" The merits and demerits of Peacoddy's baby became the staple of conversation for a week. Its weight, its looks, and its character in general were fiercely discussed and minutely compared with other accepted standards of babyhood ; and people who had never been known to disagree on any earthly subject before, became hopelessly ■ estranged for ever afterwards in consequence of the irreconcilable views they entertained on the question of the Peacoddy baby. That little event in his domestic economy cost old Peacoddy a whole haystack and two steers in " shouts." For a whole week he waslhe most prominent man in Cockatooville, and might have had a walk-over for the School Committee or Highway Board had he allowed his ambition to be unduly elevated by i his sudden popularity. He was effusively congratulated by everybody, shouted for by everybody, and he shouted for everybody in turn. It was admitted that Peacoddy's baby was the most wonderful specimen of the kind that had ever been seen within the memory of the oldest Cockatoovillian. Not that it was phenomenally handsome. It had the same little, red snub nose, the same raw, beefsteak face, and the same blinking eyes as the commonplace Cockatooville baby; but the thing that pre-eminently distinguished it above all the rest of the babies of . Cockatooville was the remarkable fact that it was " the very image of its father," as everyone (from the parson down to the stable boy at The Cockatooville Arms) was prepared to prove by affidavit, if necessary. The Peacoddy baby was photographed in various attitudes by the local artist, and the enthusiasm of Cockatooville reached its zenith when one of the Judges of the Agricultural Show, whose authority on such subjects it would have been high treason to call into question, declared that Peacoddy's baby would carry off the prize against all-comers at the next annual Baby Show. , Then, of course, there was nothing for it but to adjourn the discussion to the Cockatooville Arms and drink the health of that precious baby in "deep sinkers," several times over. But even Peacoddy's baby could not engross public attention for ever. It passed away like a nine days' wonder. It lost its hold on the public mind when a return gum-diggers' ball was announced.; it became depreciated in value when two more of the ladies of Cockatooville followed the example of Mrs Peacoddy ; and it was voted an unmitigated nuisance when Hodge produced an abnormal pumpkin, which was exhibited on the store-counter, and. described by the local correspondent in a long letter to the Weekly Avalanche. It was whispered that the Peacoddy baby was disfigured by a mole on its right cheek and a east in one eye, was suffering from measles, and developing hair of a pronounced auburn colour. But in the eyes of Mrs Peacoddy the mole was an object of perennial delight. 1 It was "a beauty spot," a mark to distinguish it above all other Cockatooville babies, an unmistakable clue to its identification should it ever v have the misfortune to be lost. j But if the people of Cockatooville could have j , foreseen that in a short time an event was to take place which would render Peacoddy's baby niemorable for all time, they would have marvelled at their want of appreciation. The infant which was destined to play such an important part in the future history of Cockatooville had reached the second month of its existence when the Grum-diggers ball cast even ' Hodge's gigantic pumpkin into the shade. j Mrs Peacoddy resolved to signalise her re-en-trance into society by attending this festive j reunion. . But there was an obstacle in the way | •which appeared to be insuperable. That difficulty ' was the baby. It had developed an extraordinary j appetite, and required sustenance at regular intervals. The slightest inattention to its demands it resented in a way that aroused the sympathy of the neighbours within a radius of half a mile and~ threaten ed to cause an earthquake or a revolution. Mrs P. solved the problem by placing the baby in: the ladies' clock-room in charge of the servant Sally, with strict injunctions to intimate by a preconcerted signal whenever the exigencies of the situation, imperatively required Mrs P.'s presence. But by a singular coincidence it happened „ that the same expedient had occurred to the inventive ;nn"nds;of all the other mothers of Cockatooville who were blessed with babies. Consequently when tlie band — a German concertina — ,;'; struck up, ;and music arose with its voluptuous ■ C:Bwell^ 'tliere was a shrill accompaniment in all .-sor.fcs.of keys. frpm : the ladies' retiring-room^ - . ■, ''•'; v As the Terpsichorean revelry proceeded there " aiflutter of excitement among 'the .crowd of female domestics in charge of the accomparii- : : nient. First they, crowded at the door in order the^dancers, then a few of them did a •Vywaltz; roiind//? the. cloak-room, and finally they - V Agreed to luiii^all the babies,' arid take ; turn and i arid nursing, two or three ;;v-gjfflß^'mindmg^ .the lot while the rest enjoyed gSwipmselv.es in the ball-room.. Thus it happened XZfi'fZ^--^?-'- ■.■';'.",■■, >', ' '- '„ ; - .. • V . ' --'" . -

that twice during the night the custodian of Mrs 1 Peacoddy's baby was absent from her post, and the anxious mother came near missing some of the items on her programme, through the delay in finding her baby among miscellaneous bundles of infantine humanity. Things got rather mixed up about midnight, but thanks to that mole on its right cheek, Mrs P. experienced comparatively little difficulty in singling out her baby from the others on the occasion of her periodical visits to the room. The cocks were crowing, daylight began to peep in at the windows, and the kerosene lamps burned ' a sickly yellow, when Mrs Peacoddy joined in the 'scramble for cloaks and hats, snatched up her slumbering baby from among a heap of squalling infants, imprinted a rapid succession of kisses on its fat nose, climbed up into the dog-cart, and was driven home by old Peacoddy. When the party reached the farm the baby still slumbered inside the ample folds of the shawl. It was quietly deposited in the cradle, and Mrs P. and Sally retired to snatch a few hours of repose before they began the labours of the day, while old Peacoddy went out to milk the cows, and look to the work of the farm. The sun was in the meridian when Mrs P. awoke from a refreshing sleep, and roused up Sally to prepare dinner. Mrs P.'s next thought was the baby, which had indulged in an unusual somnolence only to be accounted for by the fatigues of the previous night. As Mrs P. removed the shawl from the baby's face, an expression of bewildered alarm passed over her features, and the next instant she uttered a prolonged unearthly scream, that caused the girl to drop the sugar-basin, and brought Peacoddy rushing out of breath into the house. As the old man gathered himself up, and administered a kick to the dog, over which he had stumbled at the door-step, he exclaimed, in breathless anxiety — " What the devil's the matter ? " "The baby!" moaned Mrs P., wringing her hands, as she stood with staring eyes and dishevelled hair, gazing into the cradle. " Has it got the collywobbles ? " inquired Peacoddy, seized with a sudden dread of impending calamity. " Our dear, darling tootsy wootsy's lost — lost — oh dear, oh dear ! " jerked out Mrs P., in heartrending tones. "Lost?" rejoined Peacoddy in amazement, approaching the cradle, and patting the infant's cheek with his great hand, " Why you must be dreaming, woman, it's here fast asleep in the cradle, as right as a trivet ! " " Look at the mole ! " groaned Mrs Peacoddy. " There's nothing wrong with the mole that I can see," said Mr P., who began to suspect that the excitement and fatigue of the ball had developed latent insanity in his better half. "Don't be excited, my dear, that confounded racket has upset you. Go to sleep again, and leave Sally to attend to the baby," he continued. "See! see! the mole's on the left cheek!" gasped Mrs P. bursting into a flood of tears. Very slowly the truth of this stupendous discovery dawned upon the intellect of Peacoddy. At first he got rather mixed up, and mistook the left cheek for the right, but when Mrs P. snatched up the baby, turned it round with a jerk that threatened to dislocate every bone in its body, and dramatically pointed out the terrible mark with her finger, Peacoddy realised the staggering situation in an instant, and yelled : — "Then who the dickens does this here kid belong to, and where's our Johnny ? " "Stolen! kidnapped! groaned Mrs P., and , then suddenly recollecting the derelictions of the girl, she jammed the screaming infant in the cradle in a heap, and in an instant clutched Sally by the hair. " Well, here's a rum go ! " said Peacoddy, in a bewildered tone," "what's to be done now, I wonder ? " " What's to be done ? " said Mrs P. flourishing Sally's chignon like a Red Indian, " What's to be done ? you unfeeling monster, to stand there with your mouth open while our dear innocent's being murdered — no not murdered — some envious wretch knowing he was the loveliest baby in Cockatooville, has stolen him away' (I know they have) and substituted this ugly little pug-nosed thing in its place — go for the police at once, Peacoddy, and have the villains arrested." A few minutes sufficed to put the old mare into the dog-carfc, and the Peacoddys were speeding away at fifteen miles an hour towards Cockatooville, Mrs P. pausing at intervals between her endeavours to hush the " squalling brat" as she called it, to urge her husband to drive faster. It was late in the evening when they drew up at the police-station. The constable had gone away to serve a summons and could not return till next day. Meantime Mrs Peacoddy raised a hue and cry, and old Peacoddy scoured the district for miles. But, alas! all trace of the Peacoddy baby had disappeared ! A search party was organised, every baby within a radius of forty miles was examined, but the familiar mole on the right cheek could not be found, and no one had lost a *baby with a mole on the left. The unsuccessful search was continued for several days. Mrs P. grew pale, thin, hollow-eyed with weeping, and like Rachel, refused to be comforted. Old Peacoddy wore out six pairs of riding breeches, knocked up ten horses, lost several square feet of skin, and two stone of flesh, bnt all to no purpose. Mrs P. expressed her determination to make a pilgrimage over the world in search of her lost treasure. Scores of settlers scoiired the country, for it was felt that the reputation of the whole district was at stake. Business and agriculture were suspended, the ploughs stood idle in the fields, and the faces of the people wore an expression of mourning. At the end of a week a stray newspaper found its way to Cockatooville, and lo ! it contained thefollowing paragraph : — '• A rather singular occurrence happened on board the s.b. Teakettle on her last trip from Cockalooyille. She left by the 2a. in. tide. One of the passengers (the wife of a settler), ,who;had attended a ball at that township on the evening before, disco.vered when just outside the heads' that in the hurry and excitement she had left her own infant behind; :and> 'brought away a strange baby. iShe appealed to the captain to put the steamer back; ibut the stateof the tide .rendered this impossible, and ishe was obliged' to' resign herself -tp the situation. The amusing feature in the aifair is th'at'the lost baby has a mole on itsleft cheek, while the infant which has been

brought away hy mistake also has a mole, almost, identical in appearance, on the right cheek. The passengers did their best to console, the mother, who was almost distracted with grief. Unfortunately there is no telegraph communication with any settlement further north than Wai wera, but no doubt the matter will be adjusted when the s.s. Teakettle returns to CockatooThis, of course, cleared up the mystery, and brought hope and consolation to the Peacoddy's and their friends. The return of the s.s. "Teakettle " was awaited with the deepest anxiety. Long before it reached Cockatooville Heads, the pilot had ascertained by means of the signalcode that among the passengers there was a woman with a baby having a mole on its right cheek. In another hour the two mothers rushed towards each other and effected a satisfactory readjustment of babies, but they were each heard tp remark simultaneously that the dear little innocent had been cruelly starved and neglected since it was stolen from its mammy, and the looks which the two women bestowed on each other will long be remembered by the specators. The matrons of Cockatooville now leave their babies at home when they attend a ball.