The Obserber.

Observer, Volume 4, Issue 81, 1 April 1882, Page 34

The Obserber.

Satuedax, April Ist, 18812

There is a pretty kettle of fisli in a certain family 'living not a thousand miles out of Whangarei. A married man, who was regarded as a model of conjugal faithfulness and rectitude was delighted by the occurrence of an interesting event in his family, which the Registrar-Greneral duly recorded among his interesting statistical facts. Naturally, under the circumstances the services of a nurse were called into requisition. She was good looting, and so assiduous in her attentions to her charge that the grateful husband was profuse in his expressions of gratification,, and induced his wife to retain the permanent services of so rare and valuable a treasure. After the lapse of a few months he had occasion to pay a visit on business to a distant place, necessitating a prolonged absence from home. A short time- ago,having completed the business, he returned. Conceive his surprise and pleasure when. ,the nurse deposited in his arms, not the "interesting little stranger whose advent he had joyously welcomed prior to his departure, but another and younger budding specimen of humanity, brought in from a different parsley bed! The man at first remarked that he wasn't aware there had been twins, but at this stage of the proceedings his wife volunteered a striking arid forcible explanation of the mystery. She has since seen her way to dispense with the aid of the nurse, but the interesting memento of the presence of that useful abjunct of domestic economy has been added to the lares and penates of the family. The husband now says that certain domestic occurrences follow each other at rather too short intervals for a man of limited means, and he is likely to become a convert to the Malthusian doctrines.

A trifling mistake, which led to a rather, amus- . ing contretemps, recalling to mind one of the : adventures of the immortal Pickwick, was made ' in a house in the suburbs one night last week. A young man who had rented two f urnished rooms in a family which shall be nameless went on a holiday, telling his landlady that he would be away about two months, the good lady ipromised to have the rooms available on his return,, and he took with him only a change or two, leaving nis boxes and other effects behind. He took with, him also the latchkey which he had been accustomed to use whenever business or pleasure kept him out till a late hour. After a month he found his health so completely restored that he returned by the first steamer to, Auckland, arriving in the middle of the night.. He proceeded straight to his lodgings, leaving his luggage on board tilTthe morning, and let himself in as usual with the latch-key. Stricking a light he proceeded to the bedroom, and was about to undress whan he heard a rustling of the bed-clothes, and- in an- : other minute was struggling in the grasp of a man attired only in a nightshirt, while a. female voice alarmed the whole neighbourhood ; by ; ; screaming " Burglars !" . and " Murder !" •In < a few minutes a .small crowd of scantily dressed lodgers and neighbours- -rushed on the -scene; joined in pummelling <#ie ;inti?uder,-^ andi<!na£\; firmly secured^ Him^

pXlady recognised him, and explained the situation. JpvNbt anticipating the return of the lodger for anp^bther month, she had let his rooms to a newly- '".■ • . married couple, who were in bed when he made s. Ms > way into the room, and mistook him for a >:' burglar. The lodger now goes about wearing a '; .; pair' of big green goggles, a piece of skin plaster ' on his nose, and one arm in a sling. _ He gets : . angry when anything is said in his hearing about ~ latch-keys.

An affecting scene was witnessed on the wharf at the departure of the " Rotorua " last "Wednesday. Mr R., a member of the Beresford-street choir was a passenger to Sydney, and a number of his feminine choir friends assembled to bid him a sad farewell. The last whistle had sounded but the 'ladies still clung to him affectionately, loth to lethim go. Time and the " Eotorua " wait for no man, and R. knew he must go. Suddenly seizing the plainest of the ladies round the waist lie implanted on her damask cheeks a passionate kiss. Now kissing is strictly prohibited in Beres-ford-street Church, and the young people never practice it — when anybody is looking. The lady's first impulse was to cry out, but there were so many people about, that she stifled the shriek that was ready to issue from her throat, and suffered in silence. The next plainest was treated in like manner, and so, through all the gradations of loveliness, were the rest. • The last was the merriest, and over her poor R., whom no one had thought sentimental in the slightest degree, lingered in "sweet reluctant amorous delay," nearly losing his passage; With his right arm round her waist, he saluted her on the brow, smacked her on the cheek, and lastly osculated her on the lips, with a kiss, the sweetness of which was long drawn out. Then the steamer moved away he bounded from the wharf to her deck, from which with tears in his eyes he looked a long farewell to the bevy of beauties he was leaving behind. The spectacle was intensely amusing to the spectators.

We hare heard of many cool things on the part of Colonial Abigails, but the f olio-wing anecdote, the truth of which is Touched for by a lady of Irigh respectability, probably caps everything previously recorded in this line. In response to her " wanted " she was waited upon by a few applicants, from among whom she selected a young person of neat appearance and pleasing address to fill the position of housemaid, rendered vacant by the marriage of the former . occupant to the young man who delivered the family joints. The mistress and the applicant at once entered into negotiations. Some rather exacting conditions as to diet, accommodation, and " evenings out " were made by the young woman, to all of which the lady consented with the best grace at her command rather than lose the chance of securing the services of so desirable a servant. Everything was apparently settled to their mutual satisfaction, when the girl, after again deliberating for a moment, remarked — " No, I don't think there's anything else — ah, yes, of course, ma'am, you'll Allow me the use of your piano, and to receive my music lessons m the house." This was the last straw. The terrified mistress abruptly terminated the negotiations, fled the scene, and is now performing her own household work.

A. rather startling scandal will come before Parliament in connection with an. election for one of the country constituencies. Prior to the poll, an elector, whose vote was solicited for one of the candidates, wrote him a letter stating that he would record his vote in the way requested on condition that the candidate secured for him a certain allotment in one of the townships, on easy terms; The letter somehow got into the possession of the, unsuccessful candidate, and investigation disclosed the fact that the consideration demanded for the vote had been given, the allot- „ ment having been purchased by the successful candidate and handed over to the elector. If these allegations be substantiated the election . must be declared void, while the candidate and -elector will be liable to severe punishment for bribery and corruption. The case refered to is said to be only one oat of a number that are likely to form the subject of enquiry.

Queensland now has its society paper. The first number of the Queensland Bulletin was published on March 11th. In making his bow the editor says : — " People get surfeited with dull, prosaic, methodical newspapers, and pine for something that will lighten their spirits and brush the, cobwebs of care out of their overtaxed brains. Sprightly reading is a positive relief to the wear^ ied-out mental faculties, and is as necessary and welcome in its place, as light and sunshine. Well-spiced journalism is like a pungent dishit tempts the sated appetite and produces pleasurable emotions. It lifts the weight off the mind; and contributes instruction in a form none the less forcible because it is served up attractively. It is the difference between a sermon and an epigram. The central truth is expressed in either case, but how many would prefer the heavy homily to the flash of wit ? The sermon repels — the witticism attracts and pleases." It has struck us that the want of cordial sympathy between pulpit and Press is due to the latter encroaching on the preserves of the former. The average editor gives a sermon daily, while the y minister is restricted to one or two a week. The consequence is that the Press is crowding the pulpit two much, and a row may be looked for some time or other.

Mortality tables are not a pleasant topic. There is something about them too suggestive of churchyards, tomb-stones, and expectant heirs to render . them palatable to the ordinary reader. Among the" i dry bones of statistical tables and actuarial f problems, however, we occasionally light on an interesting fact, like an oasis in the desert, or a flower blooming far up €|,mong the snow and ;;ice?of^n Alpine region. In the mortality tables ; . ; ifec^ntly^ pubHshed ,by the. Mutual Provident ; ; "';';t;^p'wstyiVi : 'TOß-r.;fincl- that; mariners,! medical men, |igji^lieanfli; and" lawyers show the highest per f ' ;,- clergymen^ »; storekeepers, and who .live vwell, show the least. The, ■^i^p^a^..mejiical merit-are nearly 1 identical^ W

that it may be presumed that while some of the former shorten their lives by a too close application to the bottle, the latter are in the habit of sometimes taking their own physic. The lives of clergymen are found to be the beßt, from an actuarial point of view, medical men the worst, while the lawyers occupy an intermediate position, just as they are supposed to do in the next world. The percentage of deaths at various ages from different classes of disease is ingeniously depicted like a wall of variegated bricks of all sizes. Thus typhoid fever, with a long red brick at 19 to 25, is squeezed down to nothing at 70 and upwards, while the fellow who begins with diseases of the urinary system like a small piece of a red brick at 19 to 29 occupies one quarter of the whole wall to his own cheek when he becomes a septuagenarian. Accidents and suicides, in appropriate blue, probably in allusion to "the blues" and " blue devils," start with a long brick at the earlier ages, and are gradually reduced to about half a one at the ground level. This mode of representation gives a cheerful and attractive appearance to a somewhat melancholy subject, aad does credit to the ingenuity of the fellows who speculate on the chances of the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.

A barrister of some standing in his profession informs us that he has discovered another phase of absenteeism, and one which he believes has afforded wide scope for fraud and rascality among both lawyers and laymen. In the nomadic character of the population and the confused and uncertain nature of titles to land in the early days of the colony, many owners died intestate, some went to America or Australia, and all traces of their whereabouts were lost, while the legal heirs and assigns of those who left wills are in ignorance of their rights, and are not likely to discover that such rights exist. Meantime the properties have been appropriated by others, and as possession is nine points of the law, their title is not likely to be challenged, or if challenged cannot be upset without tedious proceedings, involving heavy expense. Moreover, says our informant, persons in whose possession the original deeds and titles have been left have registered them in their own names, and the documents have misteriously disappeared, or been made away with. Thus the registered title becomes indefeasible until a better one is produced. He was engaged sometime ago in a series of official inquiries into titles to property, and received a number of claims based upon registration, where the claimants confessed that they had destroyed the original deeds as being valueless. In some cases the claims were founded upon mortgages alleged to have been made by the former owners, or other liens upon the properties, the proofs of which had disappeared, and which might have been forged for all that could be shown to the contrary. He, however, insisted, in every doubtful or shady case, upon putting the claimant on his oath, and many claimants shrank from the ordeal. The inference is only too plain. He had just succeeded in probing the surface of this new field of investigation, when by some occult influence it was found that his services were required elsewhere.

Demagogues and radicals have found a new mode of expression for their antipathy to the " landsharks," by dubbing them with fictitious and burlesque titles. One is known as " the Nabob," another as "the Swamp King," and a third as " Kauri-gum." The most distinguished is "the Duke of ," a district east of Cambridge. Strange to say, some of the objects of this species of popular fancy feel flattered, and do not see anything ridiculous in the mock titles that are applied to them. For — " Flattery never seems absurd, The flatter'd always takes your word ; Impossibilities seem just, They take the strongest praise in trust ; Hyperboles, tho' ne'er so great, Will still come short of self-conceit." "Do you know they call me the Duke of ," said the happy possessor of tehs^of thousands of broad acres to a fellow-traveller. " Indeed !" replied the latter, " you ought to feel thankful that they do not call you something worse.!' The conversation then flagged for awhile, but " the duke," who has a taste for poetry, .and boasts that he retires once a year to his country seat to study Homer (Pope's translation), grew aesthetic over the picturesque beauties of his enormous estate, dwelling with fond eloquence on " the blue outlines of the distant hills," " the sunlit valleys, and misty mountain tops," &c, interspersing here and there a mangled quotation from some popular poet. Suddenly pointing to the clover stacks dotted over the land, he exclaimed in a burst of pride and enthusiasm, "Don't they look beautiful?" His fellowtraveller appeared for some moments to be lost in contemplation of the , picturesque, but, rousing himself from his reverie by an effort, he answered in a hard, dry tone, " Yes, but wouldn't they look better if they were settlers' homesteads ?" " The duke " gave the off-side pony a spiteful flick,- and a long and mournful silence ensued between the twain. His Grace is not likely again to invite that traveller to accept a lift in his bu gg7- ...... i

What may happen to a newspaper conducted on independent lines, fearless in exposing public abuses, tearing off the mask and cloak of vice, undismayed by the impotent shrieks and hysterical howls of those who prefer the conventional gild and gloze of social corruption to the relentless scalpel of the reformer, is well exemplified in the case of the Sydney Bulletin. Messrs Haynes and Archibald, the proprietors, are now undergoing a term of imprisonment in Darlinghurst Q-aol for no other sin than that of having performed their duty to the public, by sternly denouncing the scandalous and demoralising practises at a certain piace of holiday resort. It was shown in the Bulletin that in the excitement of dancing young men and women were frisking about in promiscuous intercourse with known disreputable characters ; that strong. drink was supplied : without check ; that there .was an absence, of, every kind of proper supervision, accompanied with many positive and apparently ■designed; deductions j— -all these things simulttane^usly\'oß6ratiiig;!to .break, down prudence, . : reseryef;mo/iesibjj!anoL t virtue t --The respectable (?) daily' papers or Sydney shut their eyes ; ta the;

existence of this social plague-spot, and pursued the even tenor of their career of dull insipidity and veneered hypocrisy, while a set of people, whose prototype also exists in Auckland, held up their hands with well-feigned holy horror and shrieked out hysterical denunciations on the heads of the men who had dared to tell the truth instead of palatable lies, and to brlisli liio fi ; > off the sins that those Pharisees iiuggeu. The persons who were interested in the traffic in drink and vice proceeded against Messrs Haynes and Archibald for libel, and the merits of the case were decided by a jury consisting of a publican, an ex-publican, a grocer, and a nightman, who awarded one farthing damages. By the action of the Judge before whom the case was tried, however, the defendants were cast in costs to the amount of £1500. Of this only £800 has been raised by public subscription, and Messrs Haynes and' Archibald are therefore reaping the reward of virtue and conscientiousness in a public gaol. If the people of Sydney do not raise the other £700, they deserve to be branded all over the world as a community dead to every sense of shame and common decency. [Since the above was in type a telegram has come to hand informing us that at a public meeting in Sydney, presided over by the Mayor and attended by members of Parliament and influential citizens, resolutions were passed expressing sympathy with Messrs Haynes and Archibald, and declaring that the law of libel as it affects the Press requires amendment. A committee was formed to give effect to the resolutions and to collect subscriptions, £100 being subscribed in the room.l

The present condition of the law of libel in New Zealand as regards the Press is a standing disgrace to our boasted civilisation. It is in the power of any needy adventurer, unscrupulous knave, or wealthy autocrat, smarting tinder some real or fancied grievance, or at the instigation of some malevolent rival too cowardly or destitute of brains and enterprise to compete by fair means, to involve a newspaper proprietor in vexatious proceedings and ruinous expense. Even though he lose his action, the plaintiff may lose nothing else. His character may be worthless j he may be a mere man of straw ; and he can snap his fingers at a bill of costs. In England the one-sidedness and injustice of the law of libel was recognised last year, when Parliament passed a measure called the Newspaper Libel Act, introduced by Mr Hutchinson, and which contained, among other provisions, one forbidding any action for libel against a newspaper without the previous consent of the Attorney- G-eneral being obtained. A court of summary jurisdiction may hold an inquiry into the alleged truth of a libel, or as to its being published for the public benefit ; and if, after hearing such evidence, the presiding magistrate is of opinion " that, there is strong or probable presumption that the jury on the trial would acquit the person charged," he may dismiss the case. On the other hand, if the court is of opinion that the libel is of a trivial character, it may dispose of the case by inflicting a fine not exceeding £50. Lord Campbell's Act, on which the law of libel in this Colony is founded, only allows a plea of justification before the Supreme Court after the committal. The question of justification cannot be entered into before a magistrate, who on proof of authorship, and on the words complained of appearing prima facie defamation, is obliged to commit.

It is high, time that the Press of the Colony used its influence for its own protection. It has swept away long-standing abuses, and has brought about many much-needed reforms, but (as if in. disproof of those who charge it with selfishness and class bias) has refrained from putting forth its strength in a matter which vitally affects its best interests and its public utility. In view of the nest session of Parliament, the newspaper proprietors of the Colony should prepare a joint petition to Parliament urging an amendment in the law of libel so as to assiniulate it to the Act now in force in G-reat Britain. The characteristic of the present generation is a fast increasing desire to invite public attention, to attract the interest of others — in short, to advertise. Men of all classes and all callings seem more and more anxious to invest themselves, their concerns, and their dealings with a public or quasi-public character. The sphere of criticism therefore becomes enlarged, and with the best and most honest intentions the exact boundary line between criticism and defamation is at times very difficult to ascertain. If the Press has any province at all beyond imparting information it is to protect the public from deception. It has no other means of doing this than by fearlessly unmasking falsehood and fraud. The Press then becomes the enemy of the deceivers. Unless it is duly protected its efforts must often fail. A safeguard for the Press is really a safeguard for the public. We are living in an age of " shoddy " — in an era of imposition. In diplomacy, in commerce, in politics, in manufactures, in art, in food, in drink, and even in medicine, imposture reigns supreme. Unless some further protection be afforded to the Press in New Zealand its legitimate warfare againist trickery and deceit must be hampered and rendered practically abortive.

Two clergymen — the Revs. Dewsbury and Isitt — were the heroes of an amusing adventure last week. The new Wesleyan Church of St. John's, Ponsonby, being near completion, they sallied forth to view the building. Mr Bartley suggested that a splendid view of the surrounding country might be obtained from the steeple, and conducted the two visitors to the belfry, ascending by a ladder placed there for that purpose. As soon as the reverend gentlemen had become absorbed in admiring the view from their elevated position, the cunning architect quietly descended from the steeple, and an individual who rejoices in the soubriquet of " King Coffee " softly removed the ladder. Having completed their survey, the two gentlemen, thought it was jtime to descend to the lower regions, when to their horror and dismay they discovered that the ladder;had disappeared. In v.am; they shouted ati He.top of . their. voices and held out signals of Jdistyess. \-/The workmen -had gone to dinner. -Like the maiden in " Bluebeard," the Eer, Isitt

kept continually asking, " Brother Dewsbury, do you see anyone a-coming ?^' but the minuted sped on without any prospect of deliverance from captivity. In despair Mr Dewsberry seized a > rope, which fortunately happened to have been left in the belfry, and fixing ifc to a beany sliddown to the next story, the Eev. Isitt afterwards dropping his belltopper down into his outstretched hands. With some difficulty he made his way to the ground, found the ladder, and assisted his brother clergyman to descend. As no one was near enough to overhear the remarks of the captives while imprisoned in the tower — the wicked workmen revelling in their diabolical stratagem from a safe distance — we are unfortunately unable .to record the language used by the rev. gentlemen on the occasion.

There was one incident in connection with, the recent siege of the Junction Hotel, which brings out in striking relief the versatile ingenuity- of the besieged I—Joe1 — Joe Ellis. The besiegers, Seccombe and Lewis, had cut off the supplies by removing them to a distance, hoping by that means to reduce the garrison to speedy capitulation at discretion, instead of marching out with the honuors of war. But there was one important oversight on the part of the enemy of which Joe was not slow to take advantage. A valuable piano was left in a parlour on the ground-floor. At the hour of midnight the drowsy bum-bailiff, believing that there would be a temporary cessation of hostilities till morning, retired to sleep. When he awoke 10, the musical instrument had mysteriously disappeared, together with a horse and cart. The horse has since been found in Buckland's sale-yards, and the piano was recovered in an auction-room.

History repeats itself. There is nothing new under the sun except the Observes. Even the no-rent movement in Ireland is but a modern phase of one almost identical in its main features which swept over England in the reign of Edward 111. The Black-death was succeeded by a fierce struggle between capital and labour. The lord of the manor waa reduced over a large part of England to the position of a modern landlord, receiving rental in money from his tenants, and supplying their places in the cultivation of his demense lands by paid labourers. The decrease of population, caused by the Black-death, led to a general rise of wages, and a royal proclamation was issued to compel all able-bodied men under 60 of age, free or serf, " not living of merchandise, nor following a trade, nor having of his own the wherewithal to live, either his own land, with the culture of which he can occupy himself, and not serve another, shall, if so required, serve another for such wages as was the custom in the twentieth year of our reign, or five or six years before." Disobedience was punished by imprisonment. The proclamation having failed of its object, stronger measures were employed. The labourer was forbidden to quit the parish where he lived in search of better paid employment. If he disobeyed he became a fugitive, and subject to imprisonment at the hands of a justice of the peace. This only provoked a fierce spirit of resistance. Fugitive serfs were supported by organised resistance, and large contributions of money. A. statute of a later day throws light on the nature of that resistance.

It tells us that "villeins and holders of land in villeinage withdrew their customs and services from their lords, and claimed to be . quit of all manner of service either of their body or of their lands, and would suffer no distress or other course of justice to be taken against them ; the villeins aiding their maintainers by threatening the officers of their lords with peril to life and limb as well by open assemblies as by confederacies to support each other." In the general overturning of social institutions the copy holder was struggling to make himself a freeholder, and the former to be recognised as proprietor of the demense he held on lease. . The cry of the people found a terrible utterance in the words of John Ball, whom Froissart calls "the mad priest o£ Kent." Mad as the land owners held him to be it was in the preaching, of John Ball that England first listener to a declaration of the natural equality and rights of man. "Q-ood people," cried the preacher, "things will never be well- in England so long as there be villeins and gentlemen. By what right are they whom we call lords greater folk than we ? On what grounds have they deserved it ? Why do they hold us in serfage ? If we all came of the same father and mother, of Adaiii and Eve, how can they prove that they are better than we, if it be not that they make us gain for them by our toil what they spend in their pride ? They are clothed in velvet and warm in their furs and ermines, while we are covered with rags. They have wine and spices and fair bread, and we oak-cake and straw and water to drink. They have leisure and fine houses. We have pain and labor, the rain and the wind in the fields. And yet it is of us and of our toil that these men hold their state." It was the tyranny of property that then as ever roused the defiance of socialism. A spirit fatal to the whole system of the middle Ages breathed in the popular rhyme which condensed the levelling doctrines of John Ball : — When Adam delved and Eve span. Who was then the gentleman ?

Some time ago a draper in Victoria-street West complained of a system of petty annoyances to which he was being subjected by rivals in business. The draper, a married man, had in his employ a good looking young saleswoman, whose knowledge of the business and engaging manners attracted many customers. But her value had nob escaped the vigilant notice of envious rivals in tfcPfcrade, , who artfully endeavoured to tempt her' by offers . of higher wages. The saleswoman,' hgwe^er, preferred the employment in- which she w||g engaged, \* and refused all overtures, but--"- the^yrlrains" stilly pursued her." One enterprising bidder for her • services offered through an agent four months,^ wages in advance at an enhanced rate, -and"/ raised his terms when she; declined, the offer-" Let us hope that the motives .which asuated : this keen .desire to 'secure the lady's Services; were purely of a . business nature,' and^did'iidt spring from any less h^nburabl^^