WAIKATO WHISPERINGS

Observer, Volume 3, Issue 78, 11 March 1882, Page 404

WAIKATO WHISPERINGS

— Dick is not to be caught with chaff. — r-Wright has not been robbed of his heart yet. Poor Jessie! how sad to think this is not leap year.

— The usual course of things is reversed in a certain school somewhere in the vicinity of Cambridge. In my school-boy days the master whacked the boys (oh ! didn't he) ; but here the boy whacks the master.

— A certain person, who is not burdened with a plethora of clerical duties, is trying his utmost to make a match between a Duke-street dressmaker and a youngman of Lake-street. r

— Strictly legal conundrum : — lf Witty care could make a Camp boll eloquent, with what Dire results would a Key sing with rhetoric, and how would Speed bo reckoned ?

— The company of Hamilton young men who bought the gates at the Ohaupo races are anxiously waiting for another race meeting, they having done so remarkably well out of their last enterprise.

— The people of Hamilton are naturally wondering what the deuce brings our dear George so frequently to Cambridge now. But then you see there are attractions everywhere for these frivolous - minded young people.

— The great and wai*like Oap'n Oapel is in charge of the new Constabulary importation, and looks as pleasant as two lions at a leg of mutton. Walter Scott is all business, and, since the new men have arrived, looks as if his capacious financial abilities were taxed to the utmost.

— A.E. gave a small party the other evening tobring certain young folks together. Rather a deep-laid plan. Oh, Richard, is thy heart a stone, that thou couldst sit and smile while such fond looks were pressed upon you ! It was kind of you, Alfred, to help your father, but it ended in failure, dear boy.

— A recent case in the R.M. Court, Cambridge, gives rise to the following epitaph on a " dawg " :— Here'lies poor collarless Trig, Who met his fate by means of a trigger ; Some swore he was not so big, And others swore he was very much bigger.

JEtat 6 months, 14 clays, and— never mind the rest. Let him R.I.P.

— Cambridge is just now pretty lively since the recent importation of Parihaka buttons. Notwithstanding their number, they are an extremely wellbehaved lot of fellows ; but somehow or other they don't seem to go down well with the ladies. They will tell you that personally they feel inclined to like the boys, but that they would not be seen in company with such horrible head-gear under any consideration. As for myself, I feel inclined to believe that the Government, like married ladies with their husbands, his provided its men with these horrible'looking ornaments with the intention of keeping them bachelors until they leave the service.

— Mi 1 Bell's complimentary concert at Hamilton on Wednesday night last was, I am sorry to say, poorly attended, owing to the very inclement state of the weather. Notwithstanding th<? paucity of the attendance, there was a considerable niimber oi ticketssold, and consequently I am inclined to thinkthat, speaking from a monetary point of view, the a.ffair was very successful. The committee, however, were determined that the public should have another opportunity of hearing the musical treat which the weather prevented them from hearing on Wednesday evening last, and therefore consented to repeat the programme on Wednesday evening next, the same tickets to hold good.

— Being the fortunate holder of a back-seat ticket, and prompted by that ever-prominent featureof human natnre known as curiosity, I found my way into the Kihikihi Public Hall on Friday night last, just in time to be too late for the major portion of the performance. Anyhow I saw sufficient to enable me to express an opinion as to the acting capabilities of the infantine dramatic club. Now the people of Kihikihi are on the whole very different from the people of other Waikato townships. Society gradisni is totally unknown to them, as cvevy individual in the district from the gallant major to Anderson's pot-boy, belong to the same social circle. They are an enterprising class of people likewise, and boast of every institution from a jockey club to a tailor's shop, and of all sorts of personages and dignitaries from the illiterate stableman to the intelligent postmaster. Then it has got its titled individuals, a perfect ring of them, from Major Jackson to Manga Eewi. An then its very numerous and philanthropic public men, notably, the great Moncriff, the Elmsly twins, Farrell, for whom a J.P. ship glimmers in the distance, and the benevolent Henderson. As for Government affairs, there is the ever-popular Empson, a chaperon of much note, and the very .bland and jovial Nicolson. Now the latest stride of the enlightened community has been in the direction of a dramatic club, and let me congratvlate them on their success. "Rough Diamond" was the drama first introduced to the audience on Friday night, and was gone through in a fairly passable manner. Of course there was nothing farcical about ifc, and the various characters required much good sound acting. In drama acting much affectation is required, as well as a good command of the voice. My Lord Plato was a well-got-itp character, but the style and delivery were bad, and he spoke in ore like a consumptive pie-uian driving a bargain than the gallant gentleman whom he represented. Empson's natural build and military profile suited him to his piece, and J. Allen's representation of Sir William Evergreen was more like a lawyer's clerk of the Dodson and Fgog type than a squire of the nineteenth century. Cousin Joe was well-represented, as was Lady Plato, but the acting of the evening was certainly done by Miss R. Allen, in the character of Margery. "A Regular Pox," the farce which followed, was better suited to the capacity of the amateurs. Mr Benge in his character as " Hugh de Brass" was really creditable, and in this gentleman the club have a promising member. The other characters in this piece were perfect in every sense, particularly so that of Mrs Carter taken by Mrs Richdale. The only fault that I could find with the ladies was that they did not know how to faint. When womanly tenderness — especially 6n the stage— is,touched to such a extent as to bring on hysterics they should not look round for a chair to fall in, and recline gradually backwards as if going for a snooze. They should, irrespective of where they stood, fall as perpendicular as a wooden policeman in a pantomine. It does not matter in the slightest, ladies, whether you break your arm or crack your head when falling, so long as you do the thing to the satisfaction of the audience. You will be sufficiently rewarded with a good encore, bouquets will roll in from all quarters, and you will have the satisfaction of knowing that several young men have retired to the back of the building to decide by pugilistic arbitration who is most worthy of your company home.

Mr M. Eccles, chemist, formerly of Wellesleystreot, has removed to those commodious premises at Freeman's Bay, known as Billington's Buildings, where he carries on business as Dispensing and Family Chemist. Mr Eccles is a member of the Pharmaceutical Society.

Next Friday, the 17th insfc., being the natal day of Ireland's Patron Saint, will be celebrated by the members of the Hibernian Society with sports in the Domain and a select ball in the evening at the Choral Hall, and every care is being taken to ensure the comfort of visitors. A good evening's enjoyment is anticipated.

On Wednesday next Mr E. Arthur will sell, byauction, at 2 o'clock, that magnificent block of buildings known as Dornwell's Buildings, situated corner of Queen and Darby streets. This property is the best that has b.een offered for sale for some time, and affords a grand chance for persons who require large premises in one of the best business portions of Auckland.

The lining of the stomach is a most delicate membrane, and when it becomes so unnaturally sensitive that a change of air or a variation of diet hurtfully affects it, the tone and regularity can only be restored by the action of a wholesome invigorant. Active purgation weakens the bowels and aggravates rather than lessen the evil. Be wise. Brace and stimulate yourself with Crawford's Sarsaparilla Tonic.