TAURANGA JOTTINGS.

Observer, Volume 3, Issue 77, 4 March 1882, Page 394

TAURANGA JOTTINGS.

— The new stewardess of the GHenelg is a great improvement on her predecessor.

—There is a residence in Elizabeth-street which nightly emits such powerful sounds of laughter and hilarity as to disturb the neighbourhood. I like to fMe really hearty mirth and enjoyment everywhere, but this is in more senses than one too utter.

—The "doctor "regaled Sir John O'Shaughnessy with such very highly-coloured descriptions of " Sumpter House " that the Victorian fully expected to discover a Colonial Aladdin's palace. He was sadly disappointed when he saw what he characterises as *' that shanty."!

— What has come over the P.B.TJ- IJhas lately contained some really good leaders on British and Continental questions. They show that the writer possesses a thorough insight into the subjects he treats of, and will compare favourably with the editorials of any paper in the Colonies. The hero of the cricket-balls and rum-bottle episode may be a very useful member of the club, but I have heard it remarked that his language is decidedly out of place on a cricket-field, especially when there is a clergyman present.. A hint in time may save unpleasantness, John.

—It is said Captain Harry intends to go into partnership with the doctor with a view of developing local industries here, such as fish curing, fruit and jam raising, &c. I suppose the erstwhile devotee to Mars will find the requisite capital, and the " doctor supply the business skill and ability. May they prosper.

—What has become of the P. and O. steamers ? They were to have commenced their miming in the be°-inniiiff of this month, but " nary one has shown up yet. Apropos -Why does the Wellington get stuck every trip? She usen't to do it once. Could she be trying to scare the P. and 0. boats? They're arttul dodgers, that Northern Company.

—The rage for startling or unusual names has not abated. The latest contribution— Myrtle Silvia— from the poetic regions of the Val Marino, is certainly pretty. But I'm disappointed with the youthful Griffen, which, though at first displaying great promise, has become a regular " Guy." E. C. G., I suppose, will strive for the lead in the appellation of the new-comer ; How would " Euthanasia Mayhelpitspapa Goldsniyth do?

— Eead, oh ye rash man, and tremble ! This is to notify John Duncan, Esq., of Ttuirsvnga, that, should he have the temerity to address any audience of the free and enlightened in a building known as the Temperance Hall, an infiuential and enterprising politician—one "Jimmy," surnainecl "the Devil"— will prevent the aforesaid John Duncan from being- heard. Given under my hand, this sth day of March, 1882, and signed by the previously-mentioned Jimmy m the presence of — &c, &c.

—There's trouble at a certain boarding-house since the ill-fated 14th February. The landlady received a valentine reflecting on her table, and imploring relief from the monotony of bread and butter, occasionally relieved by butter and bread. She suspected a lodger of being the author of the objectionable verses, and, though he stoutly denied the soft impeachment, gave him notice to quit without delay. It is needless to add that, as is usual in such cases, the real culprit still retains the lady's coufidence and respect.

— What a delightful amount of freshness and verdancy was contained in my announcement of Mr Chalmers' engagement last week. I really mustn't be so premature in announcements of the kind for the future. It was altogether too previous. "Why, I actually had the audacity to announce an engagement which had culminated but one short week before. Such a divergence from the "beaten track" of journalism should be rigorously suppressed. However, I may briefly state now, without fear of contradiction, that Mr Chalmers, of Sn.ncb.ee, and Miss Timms, of Tauranga, were united in holy bonds by Key. Chas. Jordon, incumbent of Trinity Church, on the 20th instant, and my announcement appeared in the Observer, and was circulated to the uttermost ends of the civilised world, on the 24th !

— The meeting-rooms of the County Council are used as a bath-room by a' youthful Government em/ploy 6 residing in the buildings. ■ One day last week a number of the promoters of the Water Supply Company desired the use of this room. Unfortunately its occupant had not received sufficient notice to enable him to remove his apparatus, and consequently daren't allow the meeting to enter the room. Ho therefore said ho had mislaid the key, but— vain hope— a sharpened promoter "spotted" it hanging on the door, and took possession. They were, I am told, ignorant of the use to which the room was put, and on entering and observing two samples of water— one in a tub and one in a bucket — they naturally imagined that their engineer had thoughtfully provided samples of the two schemes for approval. The sample in the tub was a tolerably clear, translucent fluid ; bat that in the bucket was — well, the less said about it the better. Believing the contents of the tub to be the product of the dearer scheme, they decided to adopt it. Judge of their disgust when, on Mr Burrows' arrival, he informed the disappointed promoters that the water had been obtained, not from the leafy gorges of the "Waioroi, but from the capacious tank on the roof, and that instead of being placed there for the delectation of the water supply magnates, they were a portion of the ablutionary machinery of a Government clerk.