BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 3, Issue 70, 14 January 1882, Page 284

BRIEF MENTION

Larceny as a Bailey— Plummer's burglaries. Forty-eight hours to fumigate and sort the English* mail. "What next ? Mr M. O'Sxillivan leaves Auckland on a Southern tour in a few days for the benefit of his health. . ' Mr J. B. Eussell has been elected President of the Saturday Afternoon Recreation Club. In the Press— " History of the Old Bailey, by George F. Bailey, alias Fred Phuniner. Eev. David Bruce has assumed the editorial ohair of the Nc y Zealand Times. Tawhiao, the Maori King, is expected at Orakei on Monday. The case against William Boyle was a boil over. ... The Whangareites are rejoicing over the prospect of Miss Alley's early return. Mrs Hampson is "gathering them in" at ..Wellington. . A sinecure (wanted to be). — The cure of souls at All Saints'. Moonlight excursions on the water have been all the rage for the past fortnight. What the parishioners of All Saints' are not singing — "Aye we'll taste the barley Bree !" N We have received from the publisher, the - proprietor of the Thames Advertise); a copy of the Thames Directory for 18S2. A boy at Ipswich, Queensland, was nearly eaten by ants. Onr P. D. says over here the a(u)nts generally get the worst of it. Thomas Walker, the famous trance medium, is lecturing in Melbourne to large audiences. He revisits Auckland before long. Schwartzback, the eminent oculist, who was here a few years ago, intends to pay New Zealand another visit shortly. The late Judge Chapman established the first daily ever published in the British North American Colonies. A new magazine, edited by our old friend Mr . Eichard Anthony Proctor, has been started in London. It is called '' Knowledge." "The trials of an Auckland policeman"— Trying to -walk about unmoved while pretty girls are promenading Queen-street. (Vide Mr de L'Eau.) The Irish Ladies Land League has assumed " a firm and menacing attitude." Broomsticks have gone iip. Brown, you had better stop those Sunday dances. It is not doing the square thing with the invalid next door, yon know. The Symonds-street social union picnic was given by a pavty of gentlemen not connected with the committee. Why didn't the Eegatta Committee include in the programme a race for butchers' touts, soliciting a subscription from our contemporaries. What did the barmaid at the Waverley see when she went into the yard last Friday evening ? Ask her. The story is amusing, and well worth hearing. The engagement between Harry P., of the Newton Sunday-school, and one of the lady teachers, only lasted several -weeks, and has now been broken off . Why are the Auckland police enforcing the Gaming and Lotteries Act, when they always have " Gamble" among themselves ? Mr W. Mears, the handsome young bookseller and stationer, of Queen-street, is to be married to Miss Lincoln on the 18th of the present month. " Pure-love-and-affection" Marsh has returned to Auckland, after a brief sojourn among the Salt Lake Saints. It is said that he did not find any girls to suit his tastes at Utah. 'Twas on a windy night Near one o'clock in the morning When out went O'Dowd's light All law and police scorning. Mr Bryce has evidently studied Scripture to some purpose. When the Parihaka natives, whose corps have ruthlessly destroyed, asks for bread, he offers them stone-breaking. It is rumoured that IST at Stafford has presented that black band hat that he wore at Garrett's election to a well-known iukslinger, and that the presentation took place with cabstand formality oper a pint of beer. Mr T. B. Hannaford writes to the Star, approving of tho tone of the Auckland Press. Glory, hallelujah!^ The millennium's coming. Whether the sentiment is reciprocated is another matter. 1 Hitchen's gave some convincing proofs of the efficacy of his famous Blood Restorer in returning from the races by distancing a lot of competitors in his neat turn out. St. Benedict's Catholic Church, Newton, has benefitted to the extent of something like £1000 by the efforts of the ladies, clergy, and several leading laymen of the Church. It is said that Mr Gladstone intends to create a new dukedom by conferring: the tauch coveted strawberry leaves on Earl Fitzwilliain. Duke of Rotherani ■will probably be the title. The Star dramatic critic is at it again. This time he is writing about " the most enthusiastic opera." "The Jumping Prog" (not by Mark Twain) has evidently been too much for him ! Mr Bernal Osborne, whose death was announced in last Friday's cable news, was one of the most popular politicians in England, and the father of the present Duchess of St. Albans, a notable Court beauty. One of those things "no fellah" can understand. At 9 a.m. on Tuesday morning, the Hero, from Sydney, was alongside the wharf discharging cargo ; Tout the mails were at Motuhi undergoing fumigation, and at noon had not reached town. Mr Greo. A. Brown seems to have lost the power to charm, and announces that his future operations are to be confined to the Temperance Hall. Perhaps tho "caravan" proposal has proved too much for the gravity of his supporters. Mr Monk has not been to hear Wilhelmj. He feels rather inj .ired, after the great labour he took in comparing Sir George Grey to Paganini, that another top-sawyer fiddler should step in and claim to be "Paganiui the Second." Mr Theo. Cooper got Grarrard off. — Hoop la ! This is why Garrard sang several lively staves after his release. The bur'll praise. Theo. Cooper for coup. Ah ! [The next bottle of Eno's Fruit salt shall go to this vile punster. — Ed. Obs.] Mr Gamble was the only person who faced the quarantine difficulty properly and pulled through with credit. He knew his duties and completed them with expedition, the cargo being eventually taken from the infected ship and transferred to lighters. His Worship the Mayor and His Serene Highness the Town Clerk were seen the other day 1 at the' junction of Mills-lane and West Queen-street. If they wanted more than two sniffs of the perfumes there, they must be gluttons. An indignant correspondent writes to say that Harry Phillips made the bench at the waterman's steps on which he sometimes rests. He says Harry is on the look out for the amateur inkslinger who wrote that little par. Why do they want to run any more donkeys at the North Shore? Are there not enough there already? As to donkeys 'on the beach v ' not being likely to obstruct the navigation," the only donkeys that have done that are the members of the Harbour Board. Captain Murdock, of the barque Loch Urr, enjoyed a good day's sport at the Kamo Races. With ■ the aid of a grummet round his horse's neck, the old salt" distanced all competitors. Once when leading, in company with Captain Crawford and others, the horse .turned suddenly towards a gate leading to Davis' hotel, ■when the skipper dismounted rather suddenly, and he exclaimed, " Avaei there till I splice my starboard fore ££?&.:■■ . „-■

Mr Allan West, the professor of the terpsichorean art, who created such a sensation in Auckland about eighteen months ago, has returned to this city ; and, no doubt, dancing will be the rage again in a few months. The two swells, who engaged a waterman last week to take them to Duck Creek, might havj had the decency to pay the poor fellow the proper fare, instead of compelling him to threaten the law, and then paying him five shillings short. • The poor typo, or taipo, has a lot to answer for. What a curious typographical error to alter* "2Eneid" to "Iliad," why, dammo, it's too bad. What a " fist" that reporter must write, and what bad eyesight the printer must have, to be sure. The most demure young lady of Ponsonby, whilst playing " Jolly Miller " with a number of young men on New Year's Day, fell and cut her foot so badly that she had to be assisted home. The quiet ones are always the most dangerous. Messrs "Upton and Co. have published a natty little almanac for 1882 called, "Time's Footsteps" which contains the mail tables and the postal regulations, besides a number of interesting and handy facts about whist and other card games, as well as several coloured pictures. The ship Wellington is the largest, cleanest, and smartest merchantman that has been seen in Auckland harbour for many a long day. Comparisons, we know, are odious, but when one steps aboard the May Queen after visiting the Wellington, it is hardly possible to avoid making one. This is what our own jokist remarks anent the discovery of the champion mean man at Parnell last week:- -There's nothing like leather; but if a man's nothing but a tanner, he is to be excused for saving a penny on 'bus fare. Besides, "No Kent " is Parnell s motto, and his watchword — "God Save Ireland 1 ." Kaiser Wilhelm has published an Imperial ukase, insisting that the oath of allegiance takenby Government officials binds them to abstain from agitation in support of the Government during Parliamentary elections. Why doesn't Easier Hall publish a similar decree ? It is badly wanted. A correspondent informs us that at the St. Andrew's choir i>icnic there were fully 100 persons present, and that the arrangements were carried out by a small committee of gentlemen. Some of the ladies of the choir voluntarily assisted in preparing the meals and laying out the tables. "Puck" wires from Dunedin :— Williamson's yesterday completed arrangements for bringing over his opera company, the Union Company having met bim on the matter of fares. Macdonald returns to Melbourne immediately, and the company arrives here at the end of February and open in " Patience." - It appears that the system of " tipping " boys at tho great English public schools has reached a culminating point. At Eton, for example, some boys returned after the summer vacation with as much as £50 by way of pocket-money, and one boy (the Whitehall Review has been informed) is left with the uncontrolled expenditure of £650 for the year ! What are the girls doing ? What shall we do with our bachelors ? T. H. H. (too hot-headed), of Te Kopuru, wants a wife. When he gets one he may find himself Too Heavily Handicapped. There is also a musical planter from the Fijis, who wants a wife— "a genuine want," he sajs. Now, then, girls, don't all speak at once ! It is a sufficient sign of the contempt and disrepute into which the postal and quarantine arrangements have fallen, that persons were absolutely ottering to bet 2 to 1 hi Queen-street on Tuesday morning that the English mail would not be sorted and delivered within 48 hours of the arrival of the Zealandia, and they were right. The young ladies who competed in the " egg and spoon race" at the Bible-class picnic at Enst Tamaki, have been severely exercised over the result. They say the winner had a larger spoon than any of the others, which enabled her to carry the egg without difficulty. It is enongh to rile any girl to see another have a bigger " spoon" than herself. " The weather was unfavourable and told upon the collections." Did it ? Perhaps it was the fault of the collectors in not keeping their weather eye open ; but whether it was or not, Mr Nelson's "earnest appeal" ought to have "told upon" the congregation. Pei'haps it was owing to this unfavourable weather that so many immigrants were "flooding these islands." The manners of some of the so-called ton of Auckland would bear cultivation. ' Tho other evening we saw a gentleman with three ladies walking abreast, monopolising the narow footpath near the Government House, and nearly pushing into the gutter a couple who approached them in the opposite direction. This is shocking bad form. " Water, water everywhere, And not a drop to drink." . Where are our City Fathers ? where ? They've gone to sleep, I think. Each publichouse with open door Invites the thirty in ; But Adam's ale we get no more, Unless we spend our "tin." An obliging correspondent, who appears to bo most solicitous for our mortal existence, informs us that a certain baker, named Ned, has "struck work" in order to devote himself to the discovery of the man who inserted a paragraph in the Observer, and with the amiable intention of "smashing" the ill-fated scribe. Ned, you kneadu't be so crusty about it. It is not wellbre(a)d to allow one's yeast to rise iivthat way. During the past week two more Waterloo veterans have died in these colonies. After all, there wasn't much for the " Long-nosed Dook" to blow about over that fight, because if he only commanded oue-balf of the veterans who died this side of Waterloo, he must have bossed a force six times as large as that of the "Little Corporal." After this, we will not insert any more "Waterloo deaths," unless the corpse is willing to be sworn before a bench of licensing magistrates. To the Editor : Sir,— Kindly answer the following wager through your paper: J. backs Kenilworth to win Cambridge Cup at 9.30 Saturday night. The acceptances close at 8 o'clock same evening, and Kenilworth does not accept. Is it a wager or not ? — I am, etc., W. J., Cambridge, 9th January, 1882. [No wager, of course. The horse was out of the race when the bet was made.— En. Obs.] Sir James Ifergusson's wives are almost as unfortunate as those of Harry the Eighth, or Bluebeard. When his first wife died, in a little while or ere those shoes were old he married a second, and the funeral baked meats came in handy for the marriage dinner. The third has just died of cholera at Bombay. Sir Jimmy will now be able to marry another rich heiress, and to add another good dot to his already big income. Our contemporaries have lately inserted several paragraphs complaining that promotion in the Auckland Armed Constabulary District is much slower than in the South. They appear to be in ignorance of the fact that the whole of the Armed Constabulary are under one head, and that the promotions throughout the whole colony go by seniority. That being so, we fail to see how promotion in any particular district can be slower than in another, unless in the former the men have less length of service on the average than in the other. The Mormons resumed their meetings in the Masonic Hall, Newton, last Sunday evening. About twenty of the saints assembled. In the evening there was a slight interruption, one of the very limited audience of Gentiles " wanting to know, you know," something which the saints declined to answer. One of the speakers stated. " he had heard the gift of tongues m that room ;" and, judging from the comparative number of male and female saints present (the latter being m the majority), we see no a-eason for doubting his assertion. Hem- Wilhemlj has been continuing his concerts at the Choral Hall during the past week, generally to moderate audiences. One of these concerts attended by our representative on Monday evening deserved a larger attendance. It is not likely that the opportunity will again occur for many years of listening to a violinist ot tiuch marvellous skill as Herr Wilhelmj. His playing in a piece of his own composition entitled, " In Memory of Vieuteinps," is a masterpiece of emotional expression, brilliance, grandeur, and modulation. In the encore piece, . " The old folks at home," he has converted a simple negro song into a most touching and expressive melody. It is impossible to do* justice in words to his profoundly pathetic rendering of " Auld Robin Gray ' and other well-known popular songs, which he, by his marvellous art, elevates into a degree of musical excellence of -which no one-wouldhave believed them capable.

Mr Max Vogrich is also a master of the pianoforte. His brilliant execution, striking oontrasts, and delicate rendition of the fine emotional passages*Bhew hina- to be facile praceps as a pianist. In the selection of popular airs on "Wednesday evening, lie was warmly applauded. Miss Conron has a sweet soprano voice of good range, and a very charming style. The company left for Napier on Thursday by the Te Anau. The agent for Cary's Juvenile Comic Opera Company arrived in town on Monday, and announces that the season will commence on the 23rd inst., the troupe playing first at the Thames. This juvenile company is composed entirely of New Zealand children, the majority being residents of Wellington. They play three works — " The Pirates," " Pinafore," and last, but not least, " Chilperic." The latter has not been done in Auckland (save in a scrappy fashion burlesque by the Lydia Howarde Troupe) for years, and, as Mr Cary has monnted it regardless of expense, it ought to " gee." Young Spnrgeon was to tlie fore on January 2nd in the Domain. In the tent, at tea time, the Baptist young ladies were struggling for a seat on the form next to him, three of them in the struggle rolling ignominoiusly on the ground, mtich to the young parson's amusement. One game brought prominently before the minister on that day was the delightful Baptist one of "Jolly miller" and "Bingo." Two of the_ elderly deacons of the church, scampered around in this game, looking like mammas. In a certain suburban street there are two men of the name of— let tis say, Johnson. Johnson No. 1 received the other day a bag of fine " spuds" from a certain firm. He believed it to be a Christmas box, and rejoiced accordingly. Next day he went to the firm and thanked them in terms of the greatest gratitude for their handsome gift. It happened just at this juncture that Johnson No. 2 came in, and began to pitch into the firm because they hadn't delivered that bag of potatoes he had ordered. Light dawned upon the mind of Johnson No. 1. He paid for the potatoes, and left. Last Sunday morning several amatory youths in a certain Presbyterian Church in this city were deeply engaged in sundry " sheep's-eye" flirtations to each other till further orders, when their obtuse intellects became aware of the interesting fact that the attention of the congregation had been pointed in their direction by the minister, who was sarcastically requesting them to remain at home until they could conduct themselves properly when attending divine worship. They were wonderfully quiet during the remainder of the service. Lines on reading Messrs H. and S. Kohn's diary for Januai-y, 1882 : — When Manaon climbed famed Tongariro, And gazed upon the melted lava, Said he, " The world of this will hear, O — The Press will make a great palaver." And when he stood upon the crest Of Tongai^iro's fiery cone, ' Says ho, "I've beaten all the rest ; But how can I get over Kohn?" " Bravo !" Sir Peter cried ; " Logic for ever ! It beats my grandmother, and she was clever !" Our venerated granny, the Herald, has made her debut as a jokist ; and in her issue of Saturday last produces a really clever joke (for her) on the dilapidated roof of the. Police Court — "Fiat justitia mat ceiling I" The best part of it is that the witticism is much older than the venerable dame herself, having been uttered last century by a witty lawyer at Home, in reply to a Judge who thought of suspending the sitting of the Court because of the unsafe condition of the ceiling. The logic of facts is rather hard on Granny Herald. There is a man named GK, in Ponsonby, who swears he'll never again conclude a sale of any kind without consulting hia wife aud family. The other day he sold his house (the one he lives in now) to young R. for £1000, and got a portion of the money down. Night came and houio went &., swelling with pride over his good bargain. Alas ! that pride was shortlived. Mrs G. went into hysterics promptly on hearing of the sale, and Miss G. wiis so seriously affected, too, that the poor husband and father felt horribly guilty. Next day he went toR. and asked what he would take to let him off the bargain. " Nothing less than £200," quoth R.; and eventually G. did have to give him SLlo. 0 tenvpora, 0 moies! When mighfcj Samson fell a prey To fair Delilah's tears, She shore his splendid locks away With a Philistine tailor's shears ; She shaved his head, while lie in bed All unsuspecting lay, sir, Aud then this lockless man they led, And locked him up in Gaza. Since Samson's left the A.C. Force It's strength it must impair, 13 it- then he's gone away, of cour, :, L'o get a change of (h)air. Though Samson often was ashore lie shore no locks away, sir ; Ho kept the quays, and heretofore He's never been too gay, sir (Gaza). One of the most fertile and prolific of modern novelists has gone to his accotmt. Harrison Ainsworth is dead. How well do we remember reading "Jack Shepherd " for the first time. It was at school, and the writer (then a hoy of 13) smuggled the volume (carefully bound in the brown paper) amongst his lesson books, and perused it with avidity during the evening preparation. We were following Jack as he escaped from Newgate with thrilling interest, when suddenly a master's voice broke in upon our studies with, " Jones Major, bring that book here." We handed up the book, and then, at Mr 's request, we went also to fetch the cane, and got a whacking. The novel was confiscated till the holidays, aud eventually we finished it going home in the train. It was a groat treat. Harrison Ainsworth was emphatically a boy's story teller. Men find his impossible historical romances wearisome ; indeed, when yoti have read one, you know pretty well what all are like. To boys, however, "Rookwood" and " Old St. Paul's " seem ever fresh. There has been quite a flutter of late amongst the bachelors of a certain' boarding-house in Eden Crescent. A short time ago two fair damsels alighted in their midst, having just come on a flying visit from the South. All sorts of surmises and conjectures were at once indulged in, and xihe result is that the once quiet and dont't-mean-to-get-married bachelors have now caught a serious attack of matrimonial fever. One of them is so severely stricken with it that he has determined to abandon his single blessedness as qtiickly as possible, in order to enjoy his full share of connubial bliss. Unfortunately, the green-eyed monster has taken hold of him, and there is likely to be war to the knife. Another rival (also a bachelor) has entered the field, and, having been more fortunate in the art of wooing, has succeeded in persuading the young lady to walk with him. The jilted one has been disconsolate ever since, and is pining away in silent solitude. Last Sunday, notwithstanding the boisteroxis weather, he sallied forth on the briny deep, not to drown, but in order to catch some fish for presentation to the capricioxis fair. After fishing all day and catching nothing, he returned, and. on his way home bought two mullet, which he exhibited as the trophies of his angling skill. The truth has leaked out, but he manfully bore the taunts and jeers of his fellow bachelors until the evening, when he went to bed, taking with him his ginghain-umbrella as a protection during the night. He is now convalescent and ill his right mind once more. To the Editor : Sir, — In your issue of to-day 1 observe an article which denies the right of Mr Hobbs, M.H.R., to regard his late return for the Bay of Islands as a sign of his constituents approval of his past political life. Considering that the Bay electors were as well acquainted with his so-called ratting as " King John" himself, I think the facts of his receiving a numerously signed requisition against one of the Grey tail and then being returned by such an overwhelming majority, are facts which quite justify the language of Mr H.s address. I also know that had not his acceptance of the Bay requisition precluded his standing for South Franklin at the late election, he would have been triumphantly returned for the latter district, notwithstanding his previous defeat by Major Harris while the Grey fever was raging. This fact is so well known in the district that I suspect your informant cannot be, like myself, An Elector of S. Franklin. Auckland,' January 7th, 1882. — £No, o\iv informant is an elector of the Bay of Islands, and a man who was chiefly instrumental in bringing out Mr Hobbs." Of course the electors of the Bay of Islands knew all about Mr Hobbs' "ratting"; it was notorious throughout the length and breadth of the country. The point, however, is that the Bay' of Islands election was not fought on Greyite or anti-Greyite lines at all ; it was merely a question of men. Whether Mr Hobbs would have stood any chance for Franklin South is open to doubt. We don't believe he would have stood the ghost of a show.— Ed. Obsebver.]

The Montague-Turner Opera Company havebeen playing during the week to good houses. On Saturday night the "Bohemian Girl" was produced. The solos " I dreamt that I dwelt in marble halls," "It was a dream," "The heart bowed down," and others were warmly applauded. " Lucrezia Borgia" was the bill of fare for Monday night, and on Tuesday " Mignon" was produced for the first time in Auckland, and was a very fine performance. The opera is a dramatic version of Goethe's "Wilhelm Meister/' one of the most pathetic stories of that master of German romance.The music is very beautiful, soft, dreamy, contrasted with passionate and powerful passages. This opera, should have a lengthened run.