BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume 3, Issue 62, 19 November 1881, Page 156

BRIEF MENTION

What a -wonderful man is the district coroner. He gets Iris living where other men die. In many of the Southern churches prayers liave been offered up for peace at Pariimka. Audran's "Olivette" had reached its 342 nd night in London when the mail left. The JSra is the name of a new weekly paper published in "Wellington by Ashwin and Co. An equestrian statue of Mr Bryce as he appeared at the siege of Parihaka is proposed. Who is the party who " took" that Indian sketch ? " On the borders of the unknown." — Entering a lawyer's room to engage him in a case. Ask Mr Benhani to tell you the true reason ■why he left Cary's troupe. It's a rare yarn. The most "shirty" man in Auckland — MrO. de l'Eau. One of "the fools of Shakespeare" — Alderman as Hamlet. ' Not a " poetical draper "in Auckland ! Then, heaven be praised, we have at least one " shoddy " poet ! Mr A. Nathan arrived by the Australia on Saturday, and looks exbremely well after his visit to .England. Hughendcn, the residence of the late Lord Beaconsfield, has been let for eleven years and a-half to Sir Samuel Wilson, the Australian millionaire. Why is silence so necessary for fishermen ? Stupid. How are yow to catch the fish except with Waited breath ? Julian Hawthorne writes the serial story for -the '• Gentleman's Magazine "in 1882. It will be called "Dust." •' Les Cloches de Comeville," which has been played off and on in London for the last four years, was revived at the Globe Theatre in October. Young Lytton Sothern has raised a company of his own, and is playing the English provinces in his father's great parts. A recent visitor to Wellington writes that it shows no sign of improvement. Houses "To Let" by the score, and property is almost unsaleable. Gr. S., the great basso of the Pitt-street Church, las invested in a pony, and displays his equestrian skill by riding in the neighbourhood of his fair friends. Napier town is dull, but the country districts never looked better. Country property is again rapidly Tising in value. There is as much truth in the statement that the crew of the Madge shifted ballast on the 9th inst. as that the Imp's crew did so. N.B. — They both sinned. Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pinafore" has been done into German. What's " I'm never, never sick at sea" in the lingo of the Deutschers. Eh ; Mr Von der Heyde? Mr T. Kingstone, of Mount Eden, gave a party on Monday, 13th insfc., at which about 40 guests were present. A marquee, prettily decorated with ferns and lanterns, was erected. A recent visitor to the West Coast says the country never looked better than at present. Grass and crops of all kinds are luxuriant, sheep and cattle thriving, and business brisk. Mr Gr. W. Owen's red cow gave a fine yield of milk after making a clearance of Jim Graham's cabbage garden on Sunday morning last. When Jim siirveyed the scene he used language not to be found in Webster. The Orient Company's new liner Austral, 5250 tons and 6000 horse power, leaves for Adelaide, Melbourne and Sydney, via Suez, on January 19th next. She is a sister ship to the Orient. A storekeeper in Wellington, who received an order for a supply of a certain description of crockery for Government House, replied that lie did not keep such inferior articles in stock. There is a sheep inspector in Epsom who amuses himself in his leisure moments by making his own carriage and designing a coat of arms for the same. St. Matthew's Bazaar will bo opened on Thursday next. We have been favoured with a peep at a number of the articles intended for sale, and, like Dominie Sampson, can exclaim, " Prodigious." A correspondent asks the following question, which we shall be glad to have answered : — " Can you inform mo which are the principal points in judging the qualities and breed of a pointer dog ?" It is rumoiired that in connection with the new Catholic Church at Newton, it is intended to excavate a tunnel under the road, affording access between the presbytery and the church. A certain Waikato merchant, who has been making fast running of late, was brought up with a round turn by the Bank tke other day, and compelled to draw in his horns. It is almost a pity that Mr E. M. Edgcumbe -will not be back in time'for the elections, as he would stand a great chance for Tauranga even against Vesey Stewart. As a public man, E.M.E. is really Al. The London Times sometimes contains a misprint; so does the Auckland Evening Star. The Times lately, referring to the marriage of the Duke of Argyll to the Hon. Mrs Ausou, declared that the bride's first husband died in 7187 ! Ladies now fill out hollows in their cheeks -with " amber plumpers." It is considerately stated by vendors of this novelty that any unfortunate who should happen to swallow the plumper has only to take bread and milk and live on a liquid diet. Two young men in a soft-goods house in Christchurch were partners in a totalizator investment on Zulu. Their number drew £135, with, which one of the young men disappeared. Moral— Beware of partners in these investments. Mr Mven, of the National Bank, was an object of envy with gentlemen and of admiration with the ladies at the late ball at Lake Takapuna. (N.B.— A correspondent writing a feminine hand requests the insertion of this item.) To the Editor : Sir,— l notice in the Star of Saturday, Nov. 5, the following very curious advertisement, viz.:—" Lost, from schooner Opotiki, a box addressed to Hendry and Dacre, Queen-street. If not returned, will he placed in the hands of the 2'olice." — lam, &c, Juvenilb Header. Two new theatres — the Savoy and the Royal Comedy— were opened in London 'during the second week m October, the former with Gilbert and Sullivan's "Patience " (transferred from the Opera Comique), and the latter with the great Parisian success, "La Mascotte." One of the cleverest novels published this year is "Joseph's Coat," by Mr David Christie Murray, which has been running through "Belgravia." The serial in this magazine for 1882 will be by Besant and Rice, and is to be entitled " All Sorts and Conditions of Men." Mr Sheehau, sole trustee in the great estate of Karaitiaua, has taken active steps to realise the estate by sub-division into small farms, so that those who have an attack of earth-hunger will be able to take the appropriate remedy. Whilst at Napier, Mr Sheehan met the wife of the most influenced chief of Wairarapa, who had just returned from a visit to Te Kooti in the King Country These Wairarapa natives are the people who have any real sympathy with Te Whiti. The " bobbies " have donned their summer • attire, and everybody and his wife will soon follow the example. Meanwhile, Williams, the injured but forgiving, is inviting the burglars to call for light suits suitable for light-fingered gentry ! ' Hughie Mcllhone, the leader of the Shan "Van Voht and late Inspector of Miners' Rights, has returned to the Thames to see Sheehan's election tihrou<*h fair and square. " Mac " has been for some monthsin Wellington, where he obtained £150 from the Government as solatium for his dismissal, started a life iinsurance company, was introduced to Lady Fitzherbort, and lived like a lord generally. Just ask him about it.

Major Kemp complained to Mr Sheehan that he had been falsely accused in the newspapers of offering to send 500 men to the aid of Te Whiti. He denied having made any such promise, but said he would be willing to raise 500 men to assist the Government if Mr Sheehan would accompany him. Ne sutor ultra crepidam. Why does a Parnell shoemaker call himself " Auger," when " Awl " would have been so much more appropriate ? This " Auger " j isn't a bit of a " bore," but a right good " sole," only to our understanding he seems a living misnomer. That's " awl." An old man was fishing on Sunday morning, just before church time, when Mr T. saw him, and inquired in dulcet tones, "My man, don't you hear those heavenly chimes?" "Eh?" "Don't you hear those heavenly chimes calling you?" "Beg pardon, sir ; but I really can't hear what you say for those infernal hells." Some of our Southern contemporaries are very bitter about the loss of the Glimpse. The Lyttelton Times thinks that if a good fat, greasy citizen were sent to do hard labour for a term of years, it would do more than all the homilies that have ever been written or spoken to make men careful of the lives of their fellowcreatures." It was a spinster, not a widow, to whom that unfortunate and much victimised manufacturer of aerated waters made the present ; but ever since_ then the widows have made his existence unhappy. His last tyrant was a buxom lady in the neighbourhood of the market. A well-known manufacturer of vehicles, who is celebrated for neat and skilful workmanship, has been going about Queen-street asking his friends to solve a conundrum. It is this : " Why do they select the men who judge of cattle and turnips to pronounce on carriages and buggies ?" We give it up. A newly -married couple in West-street, Newton, received a' visitation from the demon tin-kettlers. The bridegroom sallied out at intervals, and made frantic, but vain, attempts to seize his tormentors. He was at length compelled to beat a parley, and pay a war indemnity in the shape of lollies. The enemy then withdrew his forces. Professor Fraser will have to look to his laurels. He will shortly have a formidable rival in the science of detecting criminal characteristics by the bumps on the head. Mr Pardy is now engaged in. a course of phrenological investigation, having provided himself with two skulls, one of which is supposed to be that of a Maori woman, and the other of a European who was murdered many years ago near Hokianga. The young lady who wrote a letter in another girl's name, inviting the good-looking hairdresser who assists his brother in a Queen-street establishment, to make an assignation, is informed that the forgery was detected in time, and consequently caused no mischief. Miss C. had, however, better beware. Such little games are not only dangerous, but unladylike, and her name is known. The general agreement of opinion throughout the Middle Island as to Auckland's splendid future prospects is described by a recent tourist as simply astonishing. He thinks Auckland may look forward to a large immigration, next year from all the Southern provinces, and that without any inducements in the form of expenditure out of loans. Auckland is going to win on its own merits. Whoever produces George Simms' new melodrama, the "Lights o* London," for the first time in Auckland, will make a big hit. It is just the sort of piece the great mass of local playgoers care about — a comprehensive plot, an interesting story, marvellous scenery,"novel sensational effects, and any. amount of virtuous tall talk. The Princesses m London was crammed nightly from floor to ceiling to see it when the mail left. It is funny that Mr Cary, -who seems to be on the look-out for really clever comic operas by English authors and composers, should never have thought of producing any of those in which W. S. Gilbert has collaborated with Frederick Clay and other composers. There is " Princess Toto," for instance. In our opinion this is quite as funny and tuneful as the " Pirates," and the right to play it and " Ages Ago " — another clever little piece by the same people — could be obtained for a mere trifle. A paragrapher in one of the daily papers waxed eloquent about the conduct of the larrikins at the North Shore Regatta. This genius asserted that peoples' lives had been endangered by the crowding of the lads and their had language. Here is a new danger to human life that has never been thought of by the doctors, neither has it entered isto the consideration of life insurance agents. Insured residents in the vicinity of Chancery-lane and other purlieus may anticipate an immediate increase in their premiums. Even Sunday-school people take an interest in racing. On the eventful day of the Melbourne Cup Alf Isaacs met an omnibus-full of Sunday-school picuicers, who were lustily singing the hymn, " Shall we gather at the river." As the noble Alf came alongside the singing suddenly ceased, seven or eight heads popped out of the omnibus windows, and seven or eight throats simultaneously propounded the question, " Which horse won the Cup ?" Mr Isaacs was too much surprised to give an answer. Our Auckland telegraphists are fond of grumbling about the crush of work at certain periods, but what would they think of the following : — At Doncaster, on the St. Leger afternoon this year, the number of messages transmitted and received, was 8320, that being far and away the largest complement ever before dealt with in a single day from any place. The number sent ou the St. Leger day in 1880 was 6265. Up to evening of the great race day there had been despatched from Doncaster 15,480 messages. During the afternoon aloue the Press messages amounted to 126,000 words. — If Mr Speight went to the " front" he would want to bring it away with him. though he has " front" enough already. After the election he telegraphed to Mr Sheehan that he (Speight) had decided to stand for the Thames, and asked Mr Sheehan to select some other seat. For cool cheek in jumping another man's claim, this bangs Banagher. We hope Speight will get his deserts, and go back to his proper sphere, that of a stoker to some engineer. Mrs Saxons private ball on Wednesday week was a great success. There were about forty couple present ; and the dresses worn by the ladies were on the whole very pretty. Miss Malcolm looked charming in pale blue silk ; Miss Phillips, white silk ; Miss Brown, black velvet ; Miss Wilson, cream satin body and cardinal satin skirt ; Miss Hughes, fawn coloured silk, trimmed with cardinal ; Miss Smith, of Mount Albert, dress of old gold (very much admired) ; Miss Nichol, of Epsom, dress. of cream silk, trimmed with white tulle and ruby rosebuds. The law in relation to deferred payment selection requires amendment. One provision requires that a certain area of bush must be felled in a certain periodTho result is that in the Seventy -Mile Bush an enormous quantity of splendid timber has been destroyed, and the destruction is still going on. Totara, rimu, and other valuable woods are cut down in the most reckless fashion and burnt, so as to enable the deferred selector to comply with the law. We think it would be better to encourage deferred payment selectors to preserve the timber, which, on all sides, is now a diminishing quantity. A party of ladies and gentlemen proceeded to Rangitoto on Wednesday, November 9th, for the purpose of ascending the moiintain. Of those present Misses Swales, Tapper, Chappell and M. Tapper, and Messrs Robinson, W. Swales, Balcke and Tapper, only accomplished the feat. The time taken in walking from the reef to the highest peak was an hour and twenty mirmtes. Great credit is due to the ladies for succeeding in reaching a spot' where, according 1 to the names written and placed there previously, very few of the fair sex have ever stood. During the past few days considerable comment has been caused in Volunteer circles by the highhanded action of Major Morrow in suspending a member of his corps for supplying one of the daily papers with a paragraph giving an account of a recent parade of the No. 3 Company, in which it was stated that Major Morrow had made improper reference to Major Derrom. It will probably lead to a pretty piece of business, as all who are acquainted with the Volunteer regulations well Inow that the heinous crime with which the Voluhtear is charged is not a punishable offence. The whole affair probably arises from a feeling of chagrin in the gallant Major's bosom at only six men expressing their willingness to follow him to Parihaka, while upwards of 200 of the flower of Auckland's chivalry promised to go with Major Derrom as a leader, if necessary. And yet some people twirl their thumbs and wonder how it is Volunteoring does not prosper in the queen city of the north.

There lias been,metaphorically speaking, skin and hair flying about in the sacred atmosphere of St. Paul's. A few Sundays ago the choristers struck, en masse, and refused to take part in the morning service. It is said to have been an edifying sight to see the reverend incumbent with his aged, but active, little verger searching for the recalcitrant boy. Mr Nelson now intends going in for n bran new chorus of boy angels, composed entirely of the curled darlings of the upper suckles. — It is now dawning on the minds of the West Coast people that they will have in future to do most of their business with Auckland, and the advent of the Macgre"gor in the trade has pretty well confirmed the idea. Auckland merchants need fear nothing from the construction of the Wellington and "West Coast line of railway, because, in the first place, Wellington will afford no market for the surplus stock of the West Coast, and, secondly, because steamers of the Macgreggor type can carry stock to Auckland at one-third of the charge by railway to Wellington. Mr Herbert Claude Brooke, A.A., was in a rather talkative, not to say elevated, condition on Regatta day : and, having by some means found his way on to the flagship, amused himself by putting a number of impertinent and generally irrelevant queries to Capt. Stephenson. The worthy skipper stood the crossexamination for a time, but at length grew tired, and, turning on his tormentor, said : " Well, perhaps, now thnt'l've answered so many impudent questions, you will not objact to tell me something. Have you, got a ticket ?" Poor Claude had not, and vanished amongst the giggling crowd, murmuring that he could buy one if he wanted — only he didn't. The Auckland Dramatic Society's second performance, originally announced to take place on Monday next, has been unavoidably postponed till Wednesday, 23rd instant. On that night "A Lesson in Love "fa two-act comedy), and "To Parents and Guardians ' (a comic drama), will be produced. In the latter_ piece a young lady well known in " jam-tart " circles will make her debut, supported by the full strength of the society. In the first piece two ladies who have very recently scored big successes as Penelope and Esther Eccles will appear, together with Mr Frank Hull (his first appearance with the A.D.S.), and Messrs Pearson and Robertson, who will make their farewell bow before an Auckland audience. Her Majesty's Customs do not always hare things all their own way. Some time ago two Thames residents sent home for elegant patent cork legs to replace the familiar but common stumps. The import j duty on each amounted to £3 Bs. One of them paid this without a murmer, and proceeded to strut about on his new pedal appendage, to the admiration of his friends. The other was a cute darkey. He induced the Customs people to permit him to take home the leg in order to see how it would fit. It answered admirably. The darkey, however, carefully placed the wooden leg in the box, and sent it back to the Custom House with a note to the effect that he declined to take delivery of the consignment, as the article did not come up to specifications. A curious story about a funeral reached our ears the other day. Feminine May had been married to Masculine December, and the latter was fast making tracks in the direction of " that bourne from which no traveller returns." The young widow in prospectu, on hearing that her husband had but a few hours to live, sent post-haste to a friend of his, asking him to make the necessary arrangements for the obsequies. Now this friend knew nothing of the way to run n funeral, so he hied himself to an acquaintance whom he knew had recently suffered domestic bereavement, and laid bare his trouble. In this way the whole of the arrangements for the sepulture were made before the breath was out of poor old December's body. This may read like a Yankee yarn, but it isn't ; the circumstance eventuated in our own decorous travelled-road-of-custom Auckland. Some promising young artist lias sent us a bran new sketch, whicli inaugurates an entirely original style of art. So far as we can make out with the aid of ainicroscope and a council of war of all the leading art critics of our acquaintance, not to mention our own artist, who is a host in himself, the nforesaid sketch represents a sausage stuck on four upright posts, which a monkey is trying to drag down with the aid of a cable. The gentleman who sends this interesting chef d'wuvve says it is meant for the likeness of a member of the Royal Family in Epsom, who carries on business as a I pig dealer. Now, we have heard a good many hard I things ngninst Royal families in general, but nothing ever represented them in a more despicable light than this sketch, and, as to the pig, no one can look at the drawing without at once realising the justice of the Mosaic denunciations of this animal as an unclean beast. That fellow who wrote to the Star the other day about "the spirit of the ballot" should see how that institution is worked by the " eauny " members of St. Andrew's Mutual Improvement Society, and, having seen, he would no more complain. The modus operand), by which the St. Andrewites secure absolutely secret voting is as follows : — A gentleman is proposed for membership, and the members have to decide the momentous question of his acceptance or rejection. Each is therefore provided with two balls — a black and a white— the former to represent the " noes " and the latter the " ayes " ; and the secretary then goes round the seats with the ballot-box, into which the member drops his ball, in full view not only of the official, but of everybody else. Then the box is solemnly opened, the result carefully ascertained and announced, after which the secretary goes round and collects the remaining balls in his hand, everyone being able to see who returns the balls, and thus to know who has "blackballed" the applicant for admission. There is no humbug here ; no writing, which might be identified ; no duplicate numbering, by which the voter might be traced, but the ballot in all its pnrity, and everything open and aboveboard! | A correspondent writes : — " It should be pretty well known by this time that a certain medico, whose counterfeit •" phiz." recently adorned your pages, aspires to be an artist of the ' fleshy school.' Visitors to the recent ' black and white ' exhibition experienced varied emotions on beholding three facile sketches, bearing the signature of Dr j. C. W. The ordinary young man looked long and laughed openly at them ; the ' goody-goody ' specimens turned up the whites of their eyes and pretended to be looking somewhere else ; the ' fast ' young lady tittered ; the modest lady blushed ; paterfamilias seemed amused, and materfarnilias waxed indignant, while the small boy shrieked with delight at beholding these three pictures. The sketches represented bathing scenes, and the object of the artist appeared to be to depict the beauties of the female figure, keeping in mind the axiom that • beauty when unadorned is adorned the most.' If such was his intention he failed most deplorably, but succeeded admirably in pourtraying the natural bent of his artistic tastes. It is but fair that I should add that either the doctor or some zealous friend of his had made an attempt to erase the signatures to these productions. This was truly modest, if not exactly becoming and right V If there ever was a case of unmistakable egotism — and at the same time egotism which is almost pardonable— it is to be found in the recent despatches from the special reporter of the Star at Parihaka. Considering what this intrepid individual has achieved, his | language is as justifiable as Ctesar's boastful vent, v!di, vici. No doubt the position of war correspondent is one well suited to draw out all the latent heroism of one's noture ; and no doubt, also, one who has achieved unheard-of prodigies ctf valour in "the imminent and deadly breach," may be pardoned for feeling himself '■ no small potatoes," and expressiug himself accordingly. Hence no' one will grudge him the copious supply of capital I's with which his recent telegrams are adorned. But it conies to be bad taste, bad grammar, and decidedly "rough" on the other fellow who shared his exploits, when we repeatedly come across the words "I and my companion." The poor "companion" seems to have felt himself out of place beside such greatness ; for we find him shrinking from acting the companion in the crowning exploit of the Star's special. This was no less than the masterly achievement of stealing into Pnrihaka past the sentinels, and despite the vigilance of six men specially told off to watch " our own." The means by which this was achieved are most romantic. The prosaic city reporter would have done it by filling the sentry drunk, and giving a half-crown to each of the men detsiled to watch him ; but such ignoble means are unworthy the notice of a war correspondent. He disguised himself in grease and Maori attire (or want of it), and, being "an accomplished Maori linguist," he passed as a native, and went freely in and out, obtaining all the information he wished. Clearly the man who could do this is quite competent to act as his own trumpeter ; indeed it would be a manifest injustice to leave the task to any other. Unanimous verdict of " justifiable egotism."

To the Editor : Sir, — I see by your paper of ' 22nd October that a smart New Zealander, who has just' returned from N.S.W., is composing a poem called " Tho Land of the Lags." ' Is is evident smart N/ew. Zealander has been trying on his Auckland snobbishness, and the Sydney boys have given him one for his*nob. He has also witnessed the superiority of New South Welshmen over effeminate Aucklanders, who are ever ready to show a miserable, envious feeling toward men they can't beat. I would advise your smart New Zealander to let his poem rip, and endeavour to become a man. — I am, &c, . Kaeo, Nov. 7th, 1881. Mr Sheehan left Wellington two days after thepublication of the extra announcing the capture of To Whiti, and travelled overland to Napier, calling at all the principal native settlements en route. At all thfr villages between Wellington and Woodville the natives disbelieved the story, but the Woodville people had re. ceived confirmatory intelligence, via Napier, and were confident that Te Whiti would 'be able to release him- ) self whenever he pleased by the exercise oT miraculous power. These natives belong to one tribe, and have been disposed to Hauhauism, but they have adopted Te Kooti's religion, which is a modified form of the AngU. can. How beautifully sold Odlnm, host of the Swan Hotel, was on 9fch November. A fishing party of five went into the hotel, borrowed a kit, and, after obtaining no end of little favours from the obliging landlord" quietly informed him that Ted Wales had told themto have a pint of shandy-gaff at his expense, and that Odium would be settled with next time Wales called. ■ The host, unsuspicious, supplied the shandy-gaff, and then began a cross-examination as to who Wales was. "Do I know him ?" he asked. "Of course you do," was- - the reply ; and then, as the last shandy disappeared,and all had cleared out but one, Odium was informed that he had been "'had." He now vows vengeance whenever the name of Wales is mentioned. Kings and cobblers have allways been rather antagonistic to each other, on account of the Democratic tendencies of the latter ; and it is therefore not to be wondered a that Messrs. King and and Schumaka, are a loggerheads over the question of coaching in Parnell. The " King " sits enthroned in "Mystery," and invokes he powers that be to protect him in his " right Divine," while " Schumaka " breathes " Defiance" from his spick and span new chariot, and makes his claim for equal rights— the eyes of the civilised world being fixed on the exciting contest for the honour, and giving the residents of the " aristocratic suburb " a threepenny ride to or from town. The amateur concert at Ponsonby, in aid of All Saints' Chui eh was a moderate success as far as the performance went, financially, however, it can hardly be called one, the attendance not being good. In the concert, the renowned Pat Lundon was very amusing in tho comic song line, and Mr Broughton was deservedly* encored in his character songs. Mr Gus Coates was great in his song " Across the far Blue Hills," that is, he would have been grand if he had been there to have sang it, but unfortunately he was absent. The Misses Baker, in their duet, proved they could sing to perfeo tiou. Mrs Broughton not only showed herself to be an accomplished musician, but also a good vocalist, her song "To the Woods" being admirably rendered. Of little Miss Greenwood it is impossible to say too much as hey praises were in everybody's mouth, and for one so young she certainly is a prodigy. The entertainment concluded with the farce of " Domestic Economy," the rendering of which sent everyone home in a good humour. — The complimentary dinner to donors of prizes at the North Shore Regatta, at the Masonic Hotel, Devonport, on Tuesday evening, was attended by about twenty guests, Mr R. M. Stark presiding. The health of " The donors of cups " was proposed by the Chairman in a complimentary speech, and enthusiastically responded to. "The competitors" was responded to by Mr T. Henderson, jun.; " The secretary," Mr C. C. Dacre ; " The chairman," " Tho Northern and Union S.S. Companies," " The starter" (Mr A. Alison), " The ladies," and " The Press," were the other toasts, to nil of which ample justice was done. A number of songs were sung during the evening by Messrs Fenton, Dacre, and Stark, and recitations given by Messrs H. Alison and others. Mr Bartley played the accompaniments. The National Anthem brought a very pleasant evening to a close. To the Editor : Sir, — You would, lam sure, hare been much amused and edified if you couldhave heard (as I did) a scrap of conversation which took place in Short-land-street on Wednesday af ternooii. Mr James How-I-admire-myself Philson had been lunching at the Auckland Club, and was walking down Shortland-street on the way back to business, accompanied by a friend, when yon, sir (with half-a-dozen books and papers tucked under yonr arm, as usual), emerged from a shop and commenced walking up the street towards them. "There is the editor of the Observer," quoth Philson. "Indeed, where?" responded his friend. "Oh, that thing," said Mr James, throwing a world of small spitefulness into his tone and pointing towards you. I laughed consumedly, for it was evident you had put Mr Philson's nose very much out of joint at some period or other, and his idea of saying a nasty thing struck me as singularly Colonial. — I am, sir, A Member of the Auckland Club. — [It is possible we may have put Mr Philson's nose out of joint, though we can't remember the occasion. Anyhow, he is quite at liberty to call us "a, thing" if it gives him any satisfaction. Next time, however, it might be advisable to speak lower, then he won't be overheard. — Ed. Obs."| We have seen many poor performances of "H.M.S. Pinafore" in Auckland, but it remained for Mr Carey's Company to show us how miserably and completely the piece can be murdered. Bar Miss Leaf's Josephine— a fair representation, but in no way comparable to Mrs Liugard's— there was not one redeeming feature in Monday evening's performance. The opera, from first to last, seemed to be a complete fiasco — badly cast, wretchedly acted, indifferently sung, and poorly mounted. Signor Morley, who attempted— we cannot say played — Ralph, looked as if he had a hump on his back, and, besides depriving the character of all humour, took unwarrantable liberties with the text. The famous speech, in which Ralph talks about " the ganglion " and "Cimmerian darkness," was omitted altogether and something not half so appropriate substituted ; and the . sailors trio, "Oh! a British Tar" was also left out. Mr Porter, the gentleman who played the part of Marquis in " Les Cloches," tried Sir Joseph on this occasion. He had not much idea of the port, but scrambled through it better than the hopeless failures who attempted Dick Deadeye and the Bosun. We could have wished the two latter had seen the Osmond children. They might certainly have learnt a wrinkle or two from them, and not seemed such feeble duffers in the roles. Ma°-gie Knight was cast for Buttercup, and acted with spirit, but was made up most unbecomingly. Altogether the entertainment proved a complete failure, and was received with marked coldness by the audience. "Puck" wires from Dunedin :— The Pollard Troupe sailed for Hobart Town on Thursday. They had snlendid houses during the holidays, and for the last night put up "Les Cloches," which drew well. The company recruit at Hobart Town, and then proceed to Melbourne on an extended tour. If negotiations succeed, Pollard says he will bring down an adult opera bouffe company, opening at Dunedin, and travelling his children by way of the North. The Chris fcchiirch Orchestral Association gave two concerts in the Garrison Hall on Wednesday and Thursday nights before two miserable audiences. Their performances were highly successful, and greatly praised by critics ; but, seeing that the company lost over £60 in two nights, the experiment is not likely to be repeated The TurnerMontague Company opened at the Princess's last night to a fair atidience, considering the high prices charged. "Maritana" served to show the company off to great advantage, as it was most evenly cast. Turner fully justified the warm econiuins lavished on him by the Australian Press. I consider him one of the best tenors we have ever heard since Squires, while his historical powers are of a high order. In " Let Me Like a Soldier Pall" he fairly electrified the house by his spirited rendering of it. Mrs Turner is unquestionably a finished vocalist and in the ballad music is heard to great advantage, singing with much feeling, but I have seen much better Maritana's. Farley was somewhat indisposed, but made a good Don Jose. Miss Godef rey made a good Lazarillo, and Gordon, who plays the King, has a resonant bass which he uses effectively. The chorus is weak, and the orchestra small. The fii-st violin, flute, arfd clarionet are in excellent hands. Josephine Deakin appears next week. I anticipate larger audiences as thuseason advances. —A Bay of Plenty Eleven will visit Auckland the second week in December. They will be rather warm for our clubs. A Waikato Eleven is being formed to come down about the same time, and so be able to play the Bay of Plenty Eleven as well .'as the leading clubs. /