PERSONAL

Observer, Volume 3, Issue 57, 15 October 1881, Page 73

PERSONAL

— The Synod election at Maliurangi is said to Tiave been a very fishy affair. — Utting is doing well in the street-preaching ■business. — What did Joe and Tom Buddie think about that little scrimmage on Saturday, eh Joshua ? — Another lady in Mr Vickers's office. Oh, fie, you naughty old boy ! — The Hon Mr Nurse, M.L.0., and Mrs Nurse hare deen staying at the Waiwera Hot Springs. — Major and Mrs Jackson were in town for a day or two at the beginning of the week. — Mr James Mackay, who hopes to make strong running at Ooromandel, is suffering from a sore face and eye caused by the kick of a horse. — If the new ferry company's boats do not carry more ballast than Greorge Quick did yesterday they are sure to tipple over. — That visit of " Willy" and his cliaperone to Arch Hill School, the other day, was altogether a very arch move. — Abbott's motto : is " Better over than under." He paid one pound too much in his last consultation. — Harry Henderson returned from the Islands on Saturday. His complexion is slightly darker than when he left us. — Several of the new members of the Synod were not churchmen. One of them attended the Baptist chapel whilst in town as usual. — The choir of St. Matthews have improved greatly during the last few months, with the exception of the tenors. — The Smoke Co. did draw a horse in Fleming's sweep, although Fleming did not telegraph the number to our Queen-street agent. It turned up after (Sunset) . — According to a recent pulpit declaration of the Rev. Allen Webb, honesty, in the worldly sense, is not the best policy. He avers that it is " a lie " to say otherwise. — Mr Abraham Phillips, for many years working manager of Messrs Ehrenfreid Brothers, is leaving for Christchurch, where he intends starting a brewery on his own hook. - — -Mr R. Carson, who went on a visit to old Ireland about eight months ago, returned to Auckland lust week, looking as well ever. — On dit that the Rev. Thos. Spurgeon has been persuaded to remain in Auckland for the next eighteen months, and during that time to accept the pastorate of the Wellesley-strect (Baptist) Church. — Captain Tozer was accosted near the Ferry tee on Thursday, and asked " when the next boat left." He doesn't believe in this uniform business, and, further, don't want to be taken for a ferry-boat skipper again. — Mr William Tregonning, one of the best operators in our " department, you know," has been moved from Auckland to the Thames. It is rumoured that the approaching nuptials of two near relatives is the primary cause. — Greorge Dunnett has " done " the round of the South Sea Islands, admired the beautiful scenery and the dusky damsels, and returned by the schooner Ryno on Saturday last. Happy Greorgie ! — The Mirror says American managers are trying to form engagements with the lovely Alice Lingard solus. Horace, you know, is rather a drug in the American market. His humour is too coarse. — Harry Palmer, cab-driver, has had a lucky windfall, to the tune of seven or eight hundred, left him by the recent death of a relative. He proceeded home via Sydney last Thursday to receive it. Lucky fellow ! — Waymouth intends to see the " Dawson " case through to the bitter end. His exit from the Nelson-street School on Thursday evening would have done credit to W. H. Leake and many greater men. 'Twas well considered and beautifully executed. — What was the nature of that church service held on Sunday last by several visitors from Waiwera at the settlement of the chief Te Hemara, Puhoi, and at which a well known Auckland barrister presided ? Were all the anecdotes of a scriptural character ? — It is gratifying to know that though Mr William Horace Lingard, comic actor and fraudulent bankrupt, has the lowest possible opinion of the Observes, he yet finds it necessary to have that journal posted after him all over America, and is decidedly annoyed if he misses a copy. — Frank Buckland is telling the electors of Franklin North that it is a hard thing that, after making New Zealand his birthplace, spending his money here, and encouraging the practice of cricketing purposes, he should be denied the .darling wish of his heart — entrance into Parliament. — The statement that William Horace Lingard ■told his friends in America he had made over £10,000 by his trip in the Australian Colonies was in four San Francisco papers, each of which appeared to have got it first-hand from the actor himself. Query — Has Horry blackened his immortal soul with another lie, or did the Press of "'Frisco invent the story. — Mr William Lehman Ashmead Burdett-. Coutts Bartlett, has now taken another name, and desires that in future he maybe known as William Lehman Ashmead Burdett- Coutts Barlett-Coutts. It is to be hoped he will supply all his correspondents with printed envelopes of an extra ■length for life is short. It is understood that W.L.A.8.0.8.C. has " P.T.0," printed on his visiting cards, in order that people may turn over for the rest of his name. It can't all be got on i:he front. ° — Garrard says that he does not intend unbosoming himself to the electors until his rivals

befall one of "our most respected citizens" -which, nobody can deny. The supposed reason for his rejection is said to be of a business nature, but of such a character as would apply to others besides himself who have, however, been received with open arms into the select circle on the hill. — The champion mean Legislator of New Zealand is one of the two who sold their honorariums. When at home in the wilds of his Southern estate he feeds his unfortunate wife on ka-kas and wood-pigeons, and in Wellington he does his own marketing, and may often be seen at a butcher's shop engaged in cheapening the price of a shin of beef. Thus, in the words of the old comic song, " by studying economy he lives like a lord." — Owen McGI-ee is suffering from a lai'yngeal complaint, or, as he euphoneously phrases it, an affection of the "lawrinks." At Otahuhu the other night an aged and phlegmatic Scot approached the irrepressible Owen, and enquired if he had caught a cold. In caustic though husky tones McGree replied, " No, sir, the cold caught me. I'm surprised that a man of your years and experience should put such a question." The elderly querist incontinently collapsed. — It was a great treat to watch the excited and trembling figure of Mr F. Wright, the second tenor, at the Philhai'monic Society's second concert, when awaiting the approach of the two bar rest in the chorus of " Now Tramp o'er Moss and Fell." The tremendous state of excitement into which the poor fellow worked himself caused him to open his mouth two beats before time, and the result was disastrous. — Major Jackson has not a high opinion of the legal profession. He was in the witness box in the Supreme Court on Monday, undergoing a fire of cross questions from the imperturbable Tyler, when the latter suddenly enquired, "Are you a lawyer, sir ?" " No," promptly replied the Major, •' I've not sunk as low as that." The answer took the Court by surprise, and the gentlemen of the wig and gown being taken unawares, could not

for the coveted seat have expounded their platforms. He has been " gogitating " of late, and does not wish his ideas cribbed. At present he is quietly canvassing among his brother proletariats. The other day he was overheard discoursing at great length to a man employed in cleaning a gutter. — A quarrel is raging between two gentlemen at Newmarket about the right of one to cross a certain allotment belonging to the other. The allotment-holder has threatned to horsewhip his neighbour if he traverses the sacred grounds, and as he is an old " bullock puncher " (whatever that may mean) he will probably keep his word. Newmarket folks may therefore look out for " ructions." _ — So after all the " blow " and talk about Mrs Lingard going home to England and procuring a "starring" engagement at this, that, and the other theatre, the good lady went, and came back again to America — without getting one. Of course it is now said that she didn't want to play in the Old Country ; but, if that is so, why were such a lot of preliminary puffs inserted in the American papers, and why, oh ! why are they so subdued about Alice's return ? — The passengers by one of the coasting steamers were recently much exercised in mind over the fearfully Munchaxisen stories of a certain Southland squatter. Amongst other stories from the whaling grounds this guileless shepherd narrated an awful yarn about trout in Lake Anim a yard long, which dwellers in that remarkable region capture by spearing. A son of Colonel Peacock, who was a passenger, mildly suggested that there was some mistake between young whales and trout. — Mr W. S. Laurie is too ambitious. When he prevailed upon a member of the Northern Club to "put him up," he should have taken into account the extreme probability that the exclusive coterie would be very likely to " put him down." Sad to relate, this is precisely what did happen. Blackballing is not a pleasant fate to

restrain tlieir laughter. While labouring under a severe fit of cachination Mr Hesketh was heard to remark that the witness' brother and nephew would hardly regard the matter in the same light. rrA^ 1 ' Bol(iero > of Mangawai, is making Mmself ridiculous by endeavouring to stop a'J.P., who is also a lay reader of the Church of England, crossing a piece of barren land on his way to conduct the weekly services. Boldero threatens Mr J. p. -with the terrors of the law, but that gentleman, crediting the Minister of Justice with common sense, quietly ignores all threats. —The Bishop of Manchester, discussing at St. \ G-eorge's-in-the-East the question why people won't go to church, said a woman in Staffordshire thus described to a colliery owner her reason for saying away : "I beant lamed, yet I beant stupid, and it puts me out when I can't find mj place in the Psalms and a little Sunday-school girl has to find it for me." And the conclusion he drew was that our Prayer Book is not adapted for those Avho have to be taught the religious alphabet. — A characteristic story is going the rounds about Dr P. one of the pillars of a Dissenting Church at the Thames. When that muscular Christian, Mrs Hampson was wrestling with the spirit in one of her long prayers, a small boy put his head into the little Bethel and whispered to the medico that his services were required in a case of extreme urgency. The doctor's soul was so lifted up that he paid no attention to the summons, which was repeated several times in a crescendo scale. But at last he turned angrily to the lad and exclaimed in a stage whisper, " D it, man, don't you see I'm at prayers ?" — The Christchurch Telegraph contains the following challenge .—The proprietor of the TelefC^/V2 * g i° ™ gc with tlie Proprietor of the Globe that the circulation of the Telegraph is at least twice that of the Globe. Stake, £50 •to be handed over to local charities. The award to t bef i e 4" y iBBr atiOn * the USUaI ™* S^'