THIS WICKED WORLD

Observer, Volume 3, Issue 53, 17 September 1881, Page 4

THIS WICKED WORLD

[Contributions to this column cordially invited. Special arrangements made with regular correspondents.] — Several Auckland residents are mating extensive preparations for the Thames Rink Fancy Dress Ball on the 11th October. — At a recent Ponsonby dance the bottled beer ■was sour. The " boys " subsequently adjourned aext door and had something better. — St. Andrew's Church was crowded last Sunclay morning. The Rev. Mr Spurgeon filled the pulp*. , — The " taking new chums " are now? considerably below par ; the innermost heart of Auckland's femaledom calls loudly for somethingnew. — Another friendly society has been victimised by its secretary to the tune of £60. As usual, the ' affair is being hushed up, but we know all about it. \ — There was a "bit of a tiff" between Messrs.; "Waymouth and McMaster at the School Com-' mittee meeting the other evening. The reason ■was an objection raised by Mr Waymou,th to other; people interfering with Mb business. Adjectives: were plentiful.

— The " Marseillaise" is. expected to be one of tlie best items in. the Philarmonie Society's concert. — A letter lias reached xis from Mr Harry Hastings in connection with the New Plymouth Gambling Scandal. It will be dealt with next week. — The Firth of Tay is a fine ship, but not one of the cleanest that ever came from London to this port. Surely the Captain and paint have had a quarrel. — There was something very peculiar about that " turning out " from the Theatre case. The threat of an action for libel brought the Herald up to the scratch with an explanation, anyhow. — At least four of the Auckland milk vendors are gentlemen by birth and education. We may, therefore, be pardoned for remarking that their present calling lias a little to do with the creme de la creme. ■ — A Q.ueen-street barmaid is anxious to discover the identity of the enterprising electrican who, on Wednesday week, sent her a bogus "collect" telegram. She can't afford to spend her halfcrowns that way. ■ — The largest contribution placed on the stone at the ceremony of laying the foundation-stone of Jf ewton Catholic Church last Sunday morning was that of Patrick Comiskey. He gave a cheque for £50. — The Mongonui lively scene, at which handsome Mac executed the Highland Fling with shillelagh accompaniment, occurred at a School Committee meeting, and not at the County Council. — A committee of enquiry would find it interesting to ascertain how many McKenzies and Burgesses, with their relatives, are in the employ of the Harbour Bourd, and how much they draw annually in the way of salaries. — The French Literary Club have engaged their room in the V.M.C.A. building for a further term of three months. Some of the members are wondering when the tri-color for which they subscribed is to make its appearance. — -What a grievous sell it was for the Snobs who expected the Hinemoa at Onehunga, and actually went to Onehunga in the hope of having the honor of shaking hands with the Govenor, when the steamer came into Auckland harbor. — All the Auckland papers (even the Saturday Night) — except the anti-Boman organ and the " Tuppenny Tripe "Wrap" — found a place by the foundation-stone of the new Catholic Cathedral last week. — That was a pleasant gathering in the Beres-ford-sfcreet school last Friday evening. The guests appeared to be determined to enjoy themselves, and entered into the dancing and other amusements with a zest which is not always characteristic of social gatherings. — The youth who has been attracting so much attention by his peculiar antics in Victoriastreet, is likely to distinguish himself soon. The application of a bucket of water was not even sufficient to bring him to his senses, although his clothing was saturated with the cooling lluid. — Why docs our contemporary the Herald head the report of the inquest on the remains of Thomas Collorick "A railway suicide," when tho Coroner, in his summing up stated that the evidence was not sufficient to siiow what the state of the deceased's mind was, and the jury brought in a verdict of "Accidental Death !" — The singing of the Catholic choir at the cremony last Sunday morning was much better than had been expected. Very few of those who assisted really belonged to the Newton choir, but were outsiders who desired that the musical portion of the service should be a succces. — There was great excitement amongst the Government employes last week on a telegram being received from Wellington ordering a return to be furnished of vaccinated and non-vaccinated civil servants. Some of the unvaccinated Greyites declare there is a vile plot being contrived for their discharge. — " Why is timber scarce in Scotland ? Because each Scotchman on reaching years of discretion cuts his stick." Docs not this plainly account for the woful waste and destruction of the oak and other valuable trees in the people's domain. A tussle is threatened between Mr Bull and Mr T. Macfarlane, but so far no ill blood has been spilt. — The teachers at one of the public schools got an afternoon's holiday recently by dismissing the school at 1.30 p.m., Avhen it was discovered that several youngsters had been wet by a passing shower. The great majority were not wet at all, but of course that didn't matter. Things weren't like this (worse luck) when we went to school. — The Liberty proprietary have admitted they were wrong in the affaire Miles, by dismissing their editor and engaging a gentleman of very different calibre to take his place. Under the new management the paper already shews signs of improvement, and if the editor persists in bis determination to adhere only to legitimate social news, the regeneration may become complete. — Mr George A. Brown is evidently not well up in hymnology. Last Sunday night he calmly asserted that the beautiful hymn, " The Dying Christian to his soul" was " the work of a Methodist poet!" Alexander Pope, the illustrious author of the hymn, who was born and educated a Eoman Catholic and died after receiving absolution, must surely have turned in his grave at being called a Methodist. —So the St James' Mutual Improvement Society are going to discuss whether " society [ journals are prejudicial to the welfare of the ! community." We rather think we know what the result will be. On several occasions it has been our painful duty to indulge in a playful dig at ! some of the sucking orators of the debating societies, and if they don't avail themselves of this : opportunity to pay us off, they will be more than human — in fact, sevaphically divine. ; — A gentleman was taking a quiet and contemplative walk along Queen-street last Friday night when he heard an excited individual shouting, " William ! William ! they are drowning!" He i bent his steps in the direction from whence the agitated tones appeared to proceed, and at length J arriving at Albert-street, discovered, to his j disgust, that it was only Barry, the yellowcutionist, delighting the members of the Young Men's Christian Association and "their sisters, their cousins, and their aunts" with one of his^naost " effective" recitations.

— Sir Arthur Gordon does^npt like;- Auckland. I He got his boots muddy walking up 'the Queenstreet wharf on his first visit here, which fact, we suppose, he still remembers, and Auckland will not ! gain much through saving the price of a carpet on that auspicious occasion. ' ; — The Board of Education will shortly be compelled to ask the Government for a grant towards "the salary of a medical officer. At the last meeting of the City School Committee, no less than twelve letters were road from teachers apologising for absence from their duties on account of sickness, and this number is said to be below the average. — The Inspector of Nuisances was required in Symonds-street on Sunday night. " A Resident" declares that the official' nose would have been quite unequal to the task of analysing the conglomeration of unwholesome smells, which per- , vaded the atmosphere. Cologne, in its worst days, could never have given forth ranker or more pestilent exhalations. — We should like some one to tell us what that " one ton of spoil " which w contemporay informs us the steam dredge lifts per minute is composed of. We have read somewhere about what some poet calls " the 'spoils of the deep," but can truely surmise that the " spoils " referred to in our contemporary arc the earth which was washed out of the reclaimaton, and which was said to be " spoiling" the harbor. — This is the first issue of Volume 3 of the OusEiU'Ei{,and we advise all readers who care about possessing a complete record of the social events of the next twelve months to commence putting aside a copy every week for binding. At the close of vol. 3, if sufficient inducement offers, wo intend to publish a handsome frontispiece to be distributed gratis. Complete sets of vols. 1 and 2 are allready fetching fabulous prices, in fact there are only about half-a-dozen in existence. — What glimpses of love, joy, and s orrow we sometimes get among among the advertisements. For instance " will Amy meet Charlie to-night at 7 where she promised to meet him lustnight ?" The first idea that strikes the reader is, why did the faithless Amy not keep her appointment on the first evening ? Was she somewhere else with some other fellow, leaving poor Charlie to cool his heels at the rendezvous. Ah, Charlie, my lad, you have yet to learn, that the sex is capricious and faithless. If Amy does not come up to the scratch Charlie, take an old man's advice, and make up to some other girl. — A disgusting story of vice regal snobbishness is current in town just now. One morning during the passage up of the "Hinemoa" from Wellington Sir Arthur Gordon, came out of his cabin rather early and one of the saloon stewards seeing him observed civilly, " Good morning, Your Excellency." Receiving no reply he thought the Govcnor could not have heard him, so he added " I hope, Your Excellency slept well." Sir Arthur turned on his heels without a word and soon afterwards complained to Col. Knollys about the man addressing him. " I am not," quoth lie " accustomed to being addressed by servants." — The musical and literary entertainment at Newton East School, advertised in <t ur columns, proved a decided success. Although the night was very wet, there were over 300 persons present in the large room. The library fund will be materially benefited. The senior pupils rendered readings from "King John" and "Julius Caesar" in a very creditable manner. Mrs Bispham charmed her audience with the " Carrier Dove " and the "Mill Wheel," while Mr Gradwell received an enthusiastic encore in " The Four Jolly Smiths." Mr Garland created great amusement by his comic song', " The Spoiling Bee," and Mr Smallfield gave a humorous reading. Mr Warren was in the chair. Parents ought to patronize such entertainments as this in a liberal manner. — A good story was told by Lord Abbot Alcock in a sermon, which he delivered last week. He was referring to the slight knowledge some people had regarding religion and God, and he mentioned a case in point. There was one man whom he knew was not aware what the Trinity was. . He explained the point to him very fully, and took care to impress forcibly upon his mind that the Trinity was composed of three persons — the Father, Son, and Holy Gjiost. After a great deal of trouble had been taken, the man said he knew what the Trinity was. He went away, and the | next time the Lord Abbot met him he asked who • were the persons of the Trinity. The man hesitated, and then commenced : — " Well, sir, there's God, he's the ; Jesus Christ, he's the Son ; and-and-and-upon my word, sir, I forget who the other gentleman was." The anecdote was well told and highly relished by the congregation.

— There was " high jinks" down atMotnilii List ■week. It was -when the Albion came in. Of course, the passengers were allowed to come to town with the mail, but the mails and luggage had to be fumigated. The latter was landed at the island, and Barnsley being in Auckland, several sailors and officers from the steamer assisted in the sulphtirous operation. Now, the smoke-house is a long distance from the wharf and the old salts could not see any fun in carrying" everything themselves and looked round for some object by whiclx they might hare quicker despatch. They scattered over the island on a tour of inspection, and shortly returned, one with a hand cart, and another with Barnsley's nag, an animal much prized by the owner, who wouldn't lend him. to a sailor for the world. However, the mule was tied to the cart by a rope, and the luggage placed in it, and a start' made tip the hill. This trip was successful, for the horse was led by one ot' the sailors, but the second load did not fare so well. After the cart had been filled the second officer mounted the animal, and then there was a scene. The horse, cart, mate and men went tearing over the grotuad at a terrible pace, the old horse kicking and plunged like a good one. Mr Mate Jfo 2 was pitched beautifully, and the horse stopped to gaze upon him. " Oh, you " says he, "you'll not beat me like that" and thereupon rushed at Barnsley's poor nag, caught hold of his legs and tried to bring him- down. The result was that our friend found himself some distance away from his companions shortly afterwards, while the passengers luggage was strewed about in all directions. We do not think the governor of Motuihi has heard of the little affaiv even yet, so this will be news for him.