BRIEF MENTION

Observer, Volume II, Issue 40, 18 June 1881, Page 442

BRIEF MENTION

— Cardinal is the favourite colour in Kyber Pass, just now. — " Charity covers a multitude of sins." So we have observed does Gus Coates's opera hat. . —Why didn't they let Tim Avin his Avager on Saturday last ? • — More dogs in church ! Is this to be the fashion nowadays. — The Orchestral Society commences its rehearsals this Aveek. — Last Monday night Mr A. C. Steele blushingly denied that he Avas in love. — Miss Halstead's dress Avas much admired at Mrs Waterhouse's ball. — Mr Rhodes has undertaken the direction of St. Mark's choir, during the temporary absence of Mr Dixon. — Dan Lynch has not yet gone to Reefton Some of the boys say they don't think he ever will. — "Te Whitis" communications came to hand too late for this issue. They are A.I. Please send more. — A large party assembled on board the Rotomahana, on Wednesday everting, to see Mr Graham (late of Cosgrave and Co.) off. — The second of the Cinderella dances at Mount Albert took place last evening, too late for notice in this issue. —Mr Tinline and his family, Avho have been staying in Auckland for a short time, leave for Frisco by Tuesday's steamer. — A grand concert is to be given atCoromandel, this (Friday) evening. The Observer's special will be there. — Mr E. W. Burton has given a public contradiction to the report that he Avas "betrothed. " This will be interesting neAvs to young ladies. — Who is the Wairoa J.P. avlio got his wife to teach him to make a speech, and forgot the substance Avhen the time came to deliver it. — Mr. W. Cooper says he has been looking for his affinity for the past ten years and has not yet found her. — Jim Coates put on eleven pounds of flesh at W'aiAvera, and Avill probably reappear at the bank about the end of the month. — W. J. Napier says marriages are luxuries, and that according to the principles of political economy, they should be taxed as such. — History repeats itself. Ahab has again entered into possession of Naboth's vineyard. Let him R.I.P. — The great Tommy, Pug and Fred have gone South, leaA'ing desolation and misery in the hearts of three lovely maidens. — The chairman and secretary^ of St. James' Mutual Improvement Association are both laAA r yers. Ahem ! — C. E. L. Avill oblige by returning the fan he took from a young lady when coming home from the Theatre some tAVO months ago. — There Avas a rush to Stanford's for free drinks last Friday, and the Ponsonby "sponges" were in paradise for an hour. — Constable MeGilp is the fortunate possessor of one of the hungriest and ugliest Scotch poodles ever seen, either in Auckland or elsewhere. — Rev. Shirley W. Baker signs himself "Premier of Tonga." This is better than King of the Cannibal Islands. — Tom has returned, from Kaukapakapa. What caused his sudden departure from Auckland? —The indomitable D. (not the "big" "big" one) is leaving Auckland next Aveek. What will the "fourteen" do in future 1 — Ihe "old buffers'" at the Ponsonby "At Homes" are considered de trojj by the rising generation. Naturally ! — The North Shore "At Home" Avas opened last Thursday, but very poorly attended. The list of subscribers is, however, nearly full. > — One of the ladies' pets has left his residence at Eden Crescent, and is iioav liA'ing Avith a charming Avidow, Avho has a piano. — Mr Gordon Gooch, A.R. A.M., has removed to O'Rorke-street, Albert Park, opposite the residence of the Town Clerk, Mr Phillips. — Tiny says that on his last voyage to the islands he saAV a magnificent sea-serpent, 140 ft. long and 30ft. broad. The Avhiskey must have been very good on board that schooner. — Mr W. Black intends to proceed to Australia on a holiday trip, and also for the benefit of his health. He Avill be absent about two months. • — The rehearsals of the Choral Society are progressing most satisfactorily, aud Herr Sehmitt anticipates a really creditable performance of ''Elijah." — The World says that Rear- Admiral Hoskins, late Commodore of the Australian Station, will be the probable recipient of a very valuable sinecure at Portsmoxith. — The poet says that he has "a very happy knack of rendering his subject interesting by the use of pure Saxon." Its nice to be in a position to praise one's self. — A banana peel lay upon the sidewalk in front of the Thistle Hotel. Paddy JDoran slipped and fell. As he gathered himself up, he exclaimed, " This is a hard, hard world !" — There is a genial elderly "toper" in the Post-office who has been toping too much and too publicly of late. He should do his little drunks at home, and not in hotels Avhere scores of people notice the Aveakness, and (worse still) comment on it.

— If you are a confectioner, an easy way of doing the generous on the cheap and securing a f/ratis advertisement in the morning papers, is to send your stale pastry, accompanied with a selection of aged muffins and crumpets, to the Industrial Home or some other charity. — It is whispered that in the dramatic performances to lie given under the auspices of a certain fashionable church, one at least, if not more, full-blown clerics will be comprised in the dramatis persona:. What will poor old ; orthodox Mrs Grundy say ? — Little Pond, when making his ponderous experiments on specific gravity at the Auckland Institute conversazione, was the centre of a circle of wonder-stricken dames, who gazed with unconcealed admiration at the dexterous manipulations of the dapper little chemist. ; —Herbert Cooke has accepted an engagement at Gisborne, and was to leave for that peculiarly sleepy township on Thursday. He is a good skater and an excellent footballist, and naturally enough will be greatly missed from his accustomed haunts. — Scene : A fin-t-class carriage on the Onehunga railway. Train draws up at Newmarket. Guard (outside): "All tickets ready." Most Respected Citizen (disappearing under the seat— to passengers) : "Gentlemen, I trust to your honour." — Found, on Saturday last, in the Choral Hall, a handsome (imitation) Russian leather purse with real (brass) fixings, contents, two (used) penny stamps and one (old) love-letter. The owner can have the same by applying at this office. — The Harbour Board have decided that their Engineer and Harbour Master must cultivate better feelings towards each other. We wonder if this mild request will put a stop to all the little rows that have been proceeding for some months past. — Miss A. Maunsell will, we understand, beselected to take the contralto part in "Elijah." The lady is at present suffering from a severe cold or sore throat and therefore did not appear to advantage in the solo, " Oh, rest in the Lord," on Tuesday evening. — Little Alfy Andrews, the popular mail agent, was tied up in Wellington, last week, and takes his bride with him to Frisco this time. Everyone who knows "the Doctor," as he is familiarly called, will wish his bride and himself ban voyar/e. — The objectors to the license for the Mount Eden hotel acted very handsomely. Although put to considerable expense through their opposition, they presented Mrs Hedley with £15, and offered to give £50 if the publicans would do the same. The challenge was not accepted. — Those who made mistakes in filling up their census papers may console themselves with the thought that Mr. Gladstone did so also. Having forgotten, as the head of his household, to sign his name at the bottom of the paper, it was returned to him to be properly i filled up. I • — Mrs Gillies went away by the s.s. Ringarooma last Thursday to join her husband, Mr Justice Gillies, at Napier, where he is holding the half-yearly session of the Supreme Court. Mrs Gillies has not been enjoying very good health lately, and it is hoped that the change of climate may prove beneficial. — Mr J. M. McKenzie, of the Auckland money order office, proceeds to San Francisco by the out-going steamer as assistant mail agent. Mr McKenzie takes the good wishes of i his brother officers with him, and it is hoped that the change of climate may restore him to sound health. — To the Editor : Sir, — Will you, through your valuable columns, ask the new doctor at Ponsonby in future to stamp his bills when he posts them, as his patients think it very hard they should have to pay the account and also double the postage for it. I am, etc., — A Victim; ■ — Mr E. M. Edgcumbe will be a candidate for the East Coast Electorate at the fortcoming election. Mr Edgcumbe is very popular down Tauranga way, and he has always shown such a genuine desire to promote East Coast interests that we shall not be at all surprised if the electors entrust him Avith their suffrages. — The statement in a former issue anent Mr Giis Coates' renowned steed Bend Or, is now contradicted, the fact being that he only accomplished twenty - eight miles in the one day, and was carried the last six. " Bully " did better, as he interviewed all the cats on the road. — The amount of telephonic showing that was carried on last Friday evening at the Young Men's Rooms was something awful, and it was only paralleled by the quantity of small — very small — wit shouted into the orifice of the instrument by a prominent flourmillist and well-known merchant. — Mrs Vosper dressed and looked exceedingly well at the North Shore Rink. George Reid made the floor suffer severely ; lie is, however, recovering. Miss Quick was the acknowledged belle, and undoubtedly the best lady skater ; she excited general admiration by the ease and gracefulness of her movements. — About that ring "business. One of the legal fraternity was talking on the subject the other day, when he remarked that he would have charged V. five guineas for the loan of his, "For," he remarked, "I shouldn't think of wearing it again myself, and, consequently, would have had to purchase a new one. —We are informed by our lady correspondent in London that the first hat of a new fashion for ladies is not the result of any particular design. One is finished plain, and then sat down upon by the head milliner. Whatever shape it may take under pressure is . adopted as the latest style, and becomes the pattern for others.

— We are requested to correct ' ' Ingomar's " statement, in the City Council article, to the effect that Mr Aickin is the City Surveyor's Assistant. That is not the gentleman's name. —Mr Levinson is of opinion that Aucklanders know nothing about music, or if they do, that it is in their feet. Possibly he judges other people by himself. — People who are acquainted with Alex. Murphy, formerly chief officer of the Southern Cross, will be pleased to learn that he has been appointed to the command of the Albatross. —Nine-tenths of the Auckland apprentices have begun to remember Sergeant Gamble in their prayers. He is the most popular policeman in the foree — with the girls. — Mr John Wilkes appears to have fitted on a cap by no means meant for him. So far as we know, our contributor did not intend to refer to him in last week's par re the Free Library. — Arthur Lewis says that "all" the prettiest married ladies were not conspicuous by their absence at the opening of the Ponsonby "At Homes." — Mr Bedford, of H.M. Customs, was at St. Mary's Church on Sunday morning, and now appears in a fair way to make a speedy recovery. — Mr Joseph Craig has been appointed agent for the New Zealand Express Company lately started for the cheap conveyance of parcels to all parts of New Zealand. — Mr Ilowe, secretary of the Civil Service Cricket Club, intends summoning several of the members for the amounts he advanced out of his own pocket. Quite right too. — Mr Sidney S. Landershut, of San Francisco, who has made so many friends in Auckland during his brief stay, leaves for America by the outgoing mail steamer. — The judge is wrong, and his landlady quite right. Gambling on Sundays is not at all the correct thing, and if not discountenanced would soon bring her house into bad repute. — Mr Heath has not as yet been engaged by the new Ferry Company.* He merely ottered his services on certain terms, and those terms are now under consideration. — Mrs Waterhouse's "At Home " at Mount Albeit, on Thursday 9th, was in every way a success, and the hostess was indefatigable in her attention to the comfort of her guests. — The Maori mother prevents her child from crying by the terror she inspires in the nurseling when she says, "Hush! the pakeha is coming." Bravo Christianity ! — It is not generally known that Mr Cunningham expresses great regret that he cannot galop at the Ponsonby "At Homes," the exertion being too great. Try Anti-fat. — The young men who chose to rehearse " H.M. S. ' Pinafore" outside the Ponsonby Church door last Sunday evening, are politely requested to give vent their musical abilities elsewhere in future. — Was it, or was it not "making friends with the mammon of unrighteousness," for an enterprising "shootist" to send Johnny Abbot, of bill discounting fame, a brace of birds, the other day ? — Mr Wiggins met Avith a very serious accident at the Tiki, owing to his bunk carrying away. Luckily Georgie Grey went to the rescue, or the * light-hearted. Irishman might never have been heard of again. — The Flirt's cargo ot oranges must have been a bad spec. The golden fruit was floating about the harbour in all directions on Thursday, while youngsters borrowed diugies and gathered them up in hundreds. It is said that the proprietors of one of our largest ironmongery a\ arehouses have informed their already hard-worked shopmen that in future they will only be allowed half-an-hour for lunch time. Surely this cannot be true ! Mr. Farquhar Macrae, the late headmaster of the Auckland College and Grammar School, was a passenger by the llingarooma. He goes to Dunedin to see his friends there, and on his return, will open a private school. —Mr. Aitlcen Garrick, for some time past receiving teller at the Bank of New Zealand, left for Napier by the Kingarooma last Thursday. He has gone to give evidence in a case to be tried at the sitting of the Supreme Court. Captain Martin, of the Avona, was unable to obtain the service of a pilot when entering the harbour, but he has nevertheless been compelled by the Harbour Board officials to hand over £S 15s for pilotage fees. The Theatre was simply crammed to excess on Monday and Tuesday evenings. Never, save on some gala first night, have we seen such houses before ; and yet it was the seventh performance of the well-worn "Pinafore." —We have received the following important communication from the "far North:' — "Mr Malet and Miss W., Mr N Martin and Miss E,, went to church on Sunday last at the Pahi, and all seemed quite happy !" —At the Choral Hall, on Tuesday evening, the performing members mustered very strong, over one hundred being present. It must be most gratifying to Herr Schmitt to find his abilities appreciated in so short a period. St. James's Mutual Improvement Association sat upon the young men of St. Andrew's last week for having advertised a debate with that class as part of their sessional programme before even consulting the St. Jamesites on the subject. — Garrard is on the war-path again. He is announcing to his admiring followers (sic) the . interesting fact that he intends to put up for : both City East and City West at the forthcoming general election. Bravo, Garry !

— Mr. McCaughan, M.H.R., and the manager of the Bank of New South Wales are a handsome pair, and were greatly admired by the ladies who were fortunate enough to be in Queen-street on Wednesday afternoon. — Mr T. H. Jones emphatically denies that he instigated the removal of the Good Templar Lodge from the Eden Hall. The plain fact of the matter was that Mr Payne wanted more rent, and the lodge wouldn't pay it. — The part of the Aunt in the Children's "Pinafore" was taken by an amateur on Monday evening, who made up A I and wert through his business most effectively. A lar< c number of the actors private friends assembled to enjoy the joke and flung him flowers. — Rev. P. H. Cornford has taken temporary charge of the Ponsonby Baptist Church. His sermons are still characterised by the graceful eloquence which distinguished him when pastor of the Wcllesley-street Church, and there is little doubt that, should he remain in Auckland, many of his old friends will rally round, him. —Why did not the elect of Eden address his constituents before leaving for Wellington 1 Because he wasn't Tole-d to, of course. There was a youiiff man named Joe Tole O'er his movements he had no control Though within easy reach He could not innke a speech To the electors of Eden. O, Tole ! — Iticcardi's friends aver that "the woodenheaded reporter" having waited his turn is now having his pound of flesh by publishing everything he can learn to the absent singer's discredit. The industrious manner in which he hunts up the little items is astonishing. It is not unlikely that a libel action may be the result of some of them. — Two of the great features of the speechifying at St. James's Hall on Monday evening, were the careful manner in which Mr A. rounded off his classical sentences by blowing his nose and the equally careful manner in which Mr E. scratched his head in order to eke out sufficient language in which to clothe his brilliant ideas. — A correspondent who informs me that the lion, secretary of St James's Association is never seen at a place of entertainment with less than five to six young ladies in his charge, wishes to know if the fact has any relation to the gentleman's advice to his brother debaters not to flirt with one of a large number of sisters, as when he invites one he must invite all. —Says Truth " One of the high priests of the {esthetic brotherhood has of late been unwell. Meeting a favourite disciple, affectionate inquiries ensued. ' Alas !' was the reply, 'my nerves are quite unstrung ; I fear that yesterday I compromised a daffodil.' The interpretation of this balderdash we leave to the initiated." — The magniloquent " rhetoric " of C. J. S. quite overwhelmed the savants of the St. James's Association on Monday week. His figures of speech were far too deep for them, especially the "incomprehensible and subtle shallows," and some others which almost equalled Kobertstraw's celebrated " silent noise." — It is said that after the signature of the treaty of peace with the Boers, each member of the Gladstone Government was the recipient of a large black-bordered card with the following inscription : — " In memory of Honor, -wife of John Bull, who, after a severe attack in Afghanistan, expired last week at the Cape, Her end was peace." — Mr Joseph Ivees contradicts the rumour, emanating from Hamilton, of the purchase, by Mr Edgcumbe, of the Waikato Mail. We never, for a moment, credited the story, well knowing that Mr Edgcumbe heartily dislikes the Waikato and longs to return and settle in Tauranga, indeed he would probably leave forthwith if his Waikato property were realisable. — Apropos of the questioning of prisoners by the police, it is said that an "intelligent" officer at New Plymouth was playing his customary game with a weeping small boy accused of some larceny. The lad was probably guilty, and the Constable, after moralising* on the enormity of the fault, wound up with this impressive speech, "My boy, do you know you have broken the Seventh Commandment ?" — The most recent sensation in the play lino at Monaco, says the World, happened to a newly-married couple, Mr and Mrs Goodlake, who had never been at Monte Carlo or seen gambling before. Changing a £50 note, Mr G. got on a run, and won £6000 ; after which they returned to their hotel, packed up, and started for Florence, to enjoy their honeymoon at the expense of the Administration. — A Transvaal gentleman being entertained by a wealthy merchant at his mansion at Clap, ham, the butler had strict orders to see after las wants. The Dutchman was placed opposite a sucking-pig, which he, with evident relish attacked and quickly despatched. The butler glided up as the last of it was disappearing, and enquired Avhat he could get him. Said the Boer, all greasy and panting, "Getmeanoder of dem leetle hogs." — An American has recently calculated that the cost of the balls given by associations in New York, last winter, was £150,000. The Orion ball, which was attended by 11,000 persons, who drunk 4,860 bottles of wine, is said to have cost £20,000. The money spent by New Yorkers 'last summer at the seaside, watering places, and similar resorts is said by the same statistician to have amounted to three millions sterling. — The people of Coromandel are much amused at the excessive caution with which "Peter," of the Success, threads his devious way from the claim to the telegraph office. Instead of keeping on the road, he cannily pushes along through the ti-tree, and, with the manner of a kinchin carrying the Sunday beer under its apron, he hides from vulgar gaze the . rich specimens that he transmits to Auckland. Why so wary, good Peter ?

— Considerable amusement was caused at the Onehunga Licensing Court, the other day, when Mr Barchard was called. The clerk required a shilling for witness fee, and Mr Tyler said he would not call the witness. Mr llussel desired that he should be put in the box, and Mr Tyler consented on condition that he should not have to pay the witness fee. Mr Kusscl replied : " Oh, I'll pay the shilling ; if its only for the pleasure of looking at Mr Barchard. — The performance, at a small suburban church not a hundred miles from Newton-road, of Jackson's "Te Deum" last Sunday night, though it relieved the tedium of the service accomplished this object in a fearfully excruciating manner. The choir evidently require more practice, and the sooner they enquire into the rudiments of music, and acquire more harmonious and cultivated voices the better. The execution last Sunday night was simply murder. — " I'm raffling myself ! Thirty members at half-a-crown. Will you go in ? " Such was the singular request made to me (the Liberty) by a man the other day. "If you win, I'll work for you for a week, or I'll give you a pound and cry quits," he continued. "1 want to raise some money to leave the town, and it's the only way I can think of," iinished up the applicant. The plan certainly has the merit of originalty, and 1 understand the raffle paper was filled up. — There was a tremenduous row at a popular hotel in Shortland-street on Wednesday. The >yife of mine host of an Upper Queen-street house came in suddenly and found her husband gossiping with the pretty barmaid. Flaring up into a furious passion, the virago called the barmaid every foul name she coiihl put her tongue to, and then pulled her foolish husband out into the street, where the happy pair indulged in a free light. The barmaid naturally feels much outraged, and intends bringing the offender before Mr. Barstow, K.M. — This par, clipped from the Liverpool Post, is a fair specimen of the sort of bosh that gets iuto the English papers about the Colonies : — "The New Zealand newspapers notice an amusing instance of the manner in which Colonial railway trains are sometimes stopped. The engine driver, noticing a lady waving her hand at a siding where the train was not timed to stop, as if she wished to get on board stopped the train, only to discover that the lady wanted to know if any passenger had change for a £1 note." — Mi\ W. Graham, for sometime a partner in the firm of Messrs. J. Cosgrave and Co., of this city, narrowly escaped going to a watery grave in the ill-fated " Tararua." He had completed his arrangements to proceed to Melbourne by that vessel, and was just on the point of taking his departure from Dunedin by her when a valued customer of the firm which he represents called on him to give him an order. He was rather annoyed at having his arrangements upset, but not wishing to neglect his employer's interests, he unpacked his samples and took the customer's order. The delay caused him to miss his passage, and saved his life. — The Auckland correspondent of the Grahamstown Star writes: — "There is no doubt but the Auckland Observer is taking a lead in the field of journalism. The able political articles which have recently appeared in it, go a long way to make it one of the most readable weeklies in any part of the Colony. The contributions against the present system of Government Life Insurance which have lately appeared in the paper are also much talked of. The writer, I know, is a local man, and I would recommend the Commissioner, Mr Luckie, to adopt Sir Julius Vogel's plan : ascertain who he is, find out what he wants, and square him." — Mrs Hampson's committee have at last settled their hall bill. The place was used by them for six nights, from 6.30 to about 11 o'clock, and thirteen mornings. When the bill was presented they were horrified, although the amount was a very reasonable one. By dint of pleading, as only religious enthusiasts can plead when money is in the question, the amount was ultimately reduced to £10. The proprietors of the haU are now beginning to think that it is far better and more satisfactory in every way to allow the place to be used for ordinary secular amusements than to be treated in this shabby manner by the "unco quid." — Mr Langtry has turned up in Chicago, and has been duly interviewed by an enterprising journalist, who heads his article "The Lily's Lord," It seems, if this felicitous scribe is accurate, that the object of Mr Langtry 's visit to Chicago Avas to ascertain and realise the value, in the interest of Admiral Glyn, the residuary legatee, of a portion of real property in Chicago belonging to the estate of the late Adelaide Neilson. The interviewing reporter thus deals with the personal aspect of "the Lily's Lord :" "Langtry, personally, isn't half a bad fellow to look at, ' yaw know ; ' and yet he's not a consignment that can truthfully be called 'altogether too awfully sweet,' either." — Several desperate and unsuccessful attempts Avere made at the Y.M.C.A's Rooms on Saturday night to start the National Anthem — everyAvhere the well-understood signal for dispersion. Little Brakenrig, in sheer despair, at length ran down the stairs, collared Pr Purchas, and, telling him he Avas wanted instanter, led him up the stairs and ushered him into the lecture hall with the startling announcement, "Doctor, Aye Avant you to start ' God saye — .' " The venerable divine did not aAvait the completion of the sentence, but promptly subsided. The choir at last struck the key-note, and, with much quavering, the first stanza Avas got through. The A r isitors dispersed in deep dejection of soul. — The folloAving letter has been received from the Thames: "Dear Sir,— Your jotting re a certain lady retaining t\vp shillings out of every half-a-crown for charity, aroused suspicion. The Advertiser copied it, and everybody talked of it, and the result Avas that, after a searching enquiry, the culprit Avas detected, made to refund a large sum of money, and had to resign her connection Avith the H.L. B. S. The Star took no notice of the matter, and, if the rumour is correct, has good reason to be silent for the lady 's sake, The public thank you

because you cannot be "boycotted " nor ladycotted on such subject,?. Go on and prosper. I am, etc.,— A SUBSCRIBER." The Empress of Austria can say smart things, possibly unconsciously. One day this winter it is said she attended a meet close to the house of a gentleman not celebrated for his love of foxes. They drew covert after covert blank, and at last the Empress, wearied out, was persuaded to go into the house to lunch. Inside, to her surprise, she saw foxes' heads and brushes hanging everywhere. ' Ah, Lady So-and-so,' was her remark in broken English, ' I now understand why you have no foxes in your coverts They are all shot for to decorate your house.' — \ sad case of blighted affection has just been reported to us. A young couple, who did an inordinate amount of spooning during the earlier months of the year, are now estranged from each other on account of the lady's coquetry, or perhaps capriciousness. It seems that they were at a ball together regetlier recently, and that when the swain requested the pleasure of a particular dance with his inamorata she begged to be excused on the plea that she was tired. Somewhat disappointed but reluctant to press his suit against such an excuse, the heavy-hearted Adonis departed in search of another partner. He had almost completed the circuit of the room, when, to his dismay and astonishment, he observed his fiancee rise and accept the arm of another gentleman. He instantly strode forward, and, as he did so, he overheard his unconscious fair one saying — "The fat's in the fire now ; look out for a blaze." The elegance of the metaphor, no less than the sang fro id of the lady, struck Adonis to the heart, and he is now repining in secret. Poor youth ! —The question most frequently propounded during the week has been, " How is the cradle market to day ?" The genial and pleasant individual to whom it is addressed has, it seems, been either the victim of a cruel sell, or a ludicrous mistake. Strolling into a Queenstreet auction room, the other day, he observed the auctioneer selling a number of clothes-bas-kets, and thought he would go in for a few. He turned away for a moment to converse with a friend, and while doing so, heard the salesman say, " Now, gentlemen, give me a bid for the next lot on the catalogue." Thinking that clothes-baskets were still "in the running," he bid away cheerfully, and the "line"' was knocked down to him. Next day his spouse called to see the "baskets" and arrange for their being sent to the train. Conceive, if you can, the good lady's blank astonishment and horror when the storeman pointed out her husband's purchase, consisting of a nest of six tvicker cradle*! Whether our jolly friend has succeeded in "placing" the superfluous quantity amongst his newly-married neighbours is not positively known. — The piano as it stood in the auction mart looked all right, and appeared to be really worth sixty guineas. The auctioneer said it Avas. He believed the auctioneer, and when it was knocked down to him for £30 he cherished the fond hope that he had secured a bargain. He sent it home, and his daughters were delighted with its genteel appearance. One of them sat down to try it. She had not got half way through the "Carnival do Venice" when one of the notes "went." That was nothing, however, and when another was found to be "gone," that was not much. But the next day five more went, and the following day, seven. Then he called in the "doctor," Professor Willie! m Paganini H , who laughed immoderately when he saw it. "That's and old piano of mine," he said; "I've 'doctored' him several times, and now he is thoroughly worn out. I was paid five pounds only the other day for fixing him up for the auction." If any one wishes to buy a nice-looking piano Mr H has one which he will dispose of very cheaply as a "bargain." — Young Fergusson can speak feelingly of the vicissitudes of Colonial life. He came to Auckland many years ago, in the war time, a pretty boy, the son of one of the bravest officers who ever wore Her Majesty's uniform. Unfortunately, his bravery did npt save his life, and his widow and family returned to England. When Fergusson 's education was completed, he returned to Auckland, -where he obtained an appointment in one of our large monetary institutions. Growing tired of the irksomeness of his occupation, and seeing little prospect of advancement, he sent in his resignation. His next venture was as an insurance canvasser, in which occupation he was for some time very successful. After a while, however, that was "played out," so lie gave it up. Then he started as a photographer, but that did not turn out a success either, so he went to a newlydiscovered goldfield. However, he did. not "strike a bonanza," so lie came back to town and accepted an appointment as a teacher. It is to be hoped he has "found his vocation" at last, — The success of the Children's "Pinafore" at the Theatre is altogether unprecedented in Auckland's histrionic annals. Night after night, enthusiastic crowds flock there, and, as yet, there is no sign of the popularity of the performance being on the wane. The trifling blemishes referred to last week, have entirely disappeared. Sir Joseph sings his song much quicker than he did, and this is a great improvement. In last week's issue we omitted to make mention of Hebe (Miss Lina Sallinger, a charming little lady, evidently possessed of considerable ability), and also the young ladies who represent the " sisters and cousins." They are a bonny set, and form a striking contrast to the "aunt" (Mr Derbyshire) whose grotesque fun becomes each night more comical. _ In referring to this extraordinary revival, it would be graceless to omit to make mention of the band which beguiles the interval with very superior music. We have seldom heard operatic overtures better played by a theatre orchestra. The scenic effects, ai'e also very creditable, witness the firing of guns when Sir Joseph arrives. Altogether, the representation is a unique one, and those who have not seen it should do so as soon as possible. A thoroughly enjoyable evening is guaranteed